Monthly Archives: August 2013

Same tired excuse being used to not to listen to adult adoptees…

Adult adoptees now aren’t the products of the resources (support) we have now.  In 10+ years, we will be able to ask adult transracially adopted people how we did.   And it is so case by case. Each adoptee and adoptive parent is different.  This is why it’s so important and more and more resources are written and made available to adoptive families.  Education is the start, action is the progress.”

While I don’t necessarily disagree with the last part of the comment by an adoptive parent on Facebook in a discussion about transracial adoption, I vehemently disagree with the first two sentences of the statement.  Not to mention that finding out after the fact is probably not what you really want to do when parenting.  I have been part of the online adoption community for the past six or seven years.  That was, and still is, the automatic default answer to reject listening to adult adoptees. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 29, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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Informed consent and what society is condoning being done to Fathers in adoption…


Many of you may wonder why I am so adamant that a father is just as important as the mother, and why I get so upset that a father faces laws that seem void of common sense, dignity, and fair play.  Why should I care so much when my father didn’t give a damn when I was born, and still to this day doesn’t give a damn.  I am in the enviable position to know for fact that he had a choice back then, despite the laws at the time that specifically excluded him from having any rights.  He made his choice both when I was born, and when I was an adult, whether or not to be part of my life. 

I am thankful that my story turned out that he had choices, even if the ending of our story isn’t what I would like it to have been.  My father had choices, and chose to ignore the fact that I existed, shouldn’t that make me care less about fathers?  So why do I care so much? Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 27, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics


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Convoluted thoughts and a Ted Talk…


Hopefully the title has warned you that my thoughts are all over the place. Below is one of the Ted Talks I listened to today…

While you listen to the talk given in Wellington, New Zealand by a member of OXFAM, think about how adoption is consumer driven, although a much more arduous process then simply a trip to the grocery store, prospective  and adoptive parents are the consumers in adoption.  They (the AP’s) hold the power to make the adoption agencies change their practices when found to be questionable ethically.  They make the choice of who they take their business too, and, what they require the process to be.  They also have the ability to speak up, or not.  Their voices have more power to effect change, than any other voice in the adoption community. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 26, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics


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The need for connection…


I recorded the episode of “Who Do You Think You Are?” that told the story of Chris O’Donnell tracing his paternal ancestors.  I watched the episode this morning, sipping my coffee in the pre-dawn hours (yes, hours), while waking up to what would be another beautiful August morning.  His story was fascinating and he said something similar to “the need for connection” to his ancestors, that is what I have always felt, that wasn’t within mom and dads power to give me.  Why I have spent countless hours researching my ancestors on Ancestry.  I do find it ironic that Ancestry is linked somehow to LDS, and they focus so much on family lines, yet at the same time seem to glorify and celebrate the severing of family lines for adoptees, and, if you look at the state of Utah with their restrictive laws for adoptees…but I will stop myself here instead of ranting further because I am getting off topic, againRead the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 23, 2013 in Adoption


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Several times in the past few weeks the following question has popped into my head:

Is acceptance of what life throws at us easier for adoptees because we are adopted?  Simply because we learned at an early age that we will never know our family of birth, never know answers to so many questions, never know who we were born to be? Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 21, 2013 in Adoption


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While it is easy to get caught up in the ongoing saga of Veronica which now has the new addition a Reality TV star in to the fray…sigh…lets not forget about another adoptee, Hana. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 16, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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Willful blindness…


Although this talk is on another subject, it provides very good food for thought for those who don’t speak up and demand accountability when you see something done wrong in adoption. 

You don’t need to watch, just listen.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on August 14, 2013 in Adoption


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Dear Adoptive Parent Community…


With several recent public cases in the news, and others within the last couple of years involving adopting or adoptive parents, what better time than now to start conversations and make a difference for the future.

Are you, as adoptive parents tired of people thinking (or saying) that adoptive parents are baby stealers or abusers?  Then stand up and get angry when you see adopting or adoptive parents or agencies behaving badly… Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 10, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


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Monday morning snarky moment…


Oxymoron sentence I saw on an adoption forum…

paraphrased:                                                                                                                                  “Looking for examples of adoption flyers I can make to put up because our adoption agency hasn’t found any expectant moms in good situations.”

Methinks she doesn’t quite grasp the concept of why most expectant mothers would consider adoption for their baby. 


Posted by on August 5, 2013 in Adoption


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Adoptee voices on Veronica…


I can’t stop thinking about Baby Veronica, and neither can many other adult adoptees.

Absolutely moving post by Peach at “Neither Here Nor There”… 

Baby Veronica…another “Trail of Tears”?

From Julie at Life, Adopted who nailed so many points…

A Girl Loses Her Father: Baby Veronica Adoption Finalized by South Carolina

Round Table at Lost Daughters…

With Sad Hearts, the Lost Daughters Welcome Baby Girl Veronica to the Sisterhood

From The Warrior Princess Diaries who adds her thoughts in a post called…

Lost Daughters Welcomes Baby Veronica to the Tribe

From Trace A DeMeyer over at American Indian Adoptees…

My heartbreak for Lost Bird Veronica: but I know she will find her dad again

You all know my views on the case, and what was triggered in me reading the Transition Plan in the post Everyone Leaves.  If you know of other adoptee blog posts – please link to them in the comments.  


Posted by on August 3, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics


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Who is Shadow?


A few days back I found an article on a new device that was developed in Israel for the visually impaired called OrCam.

I had to read it because of Shadow. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 2, 2013 in Adoption


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