“Adult adoptees now aren’t the products of the resources (support) we have now. In 10+ years, we will be able to ask adult transracially adopted people how we did. And it is so case by case. Each adoptee and adoptive parent is different. This is why it’s so important and more and more resources are written and made available to adoptive families. Education is the start, action is the progress.”
While I don’t necessarily disagree with the last part of the comment by an adoptive parent on Facebook in a discussion about transracial adoption, I vehemently disagree with the first two sentences of the statement. Not to mention that finding out after the fact is probably not what you really want to do when parenting. I have been part of the online adoption community for the past six or seven years. That was, and still is, the automatic default answer to reject listening to adult adoptees. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: adoptee, adoptees, adoption, adoption impact, Adoption law, adoptive family, biological family, considering adoption, expectations, loss
By TAO
Many of you may wonder why I am so adamant that a father is just as important as the mother, and why I get so upset that a father faces laws that seem void of common sense, dignity, and fair play. Why should I care so much when my father didn’t give a damn when I was born, and still to this day doesn’t give a damn. I am in the enviable position to know for fact that he had a choice back then, despite the laws at the time that specifically excluded him from having any rights. He made his choice both when I was born, and when I was an adult, whether or not to be part of my life.
I am thankful that my story turned out that he had choices, even if the ending of our story isn’t what I would like it to have been. My father had choices, and chose to ignore the fact that I existed, shouldn’t that make me care less about fathers? So why do I care so much? Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: adoptee, adoptees, adoption, adoption impact, Adoption law, adoptive family, biological family, birthfather, birthmother, considering adoption, dad, denial, Ethics and morals
By TAO
Hopefully the title has warned you that my thoughts are all over the place. Below is one of the Ted Talks I listened to today…
While you listen to the talk given in Wellington, New Zealand by a member of OXFAM, think about how adoption is consumer driven, although a much more arduous process then simply a trip to the grocery store, prospective and adoptive parents are the consumers in adoption. They (the AP’s) hold the power to make the adoption agencies change their practices when found to be questionable ethically. They make the choice of who they take their business too, and, what they require the process to be. They also have the ability to speak up, or not. Their voices have more power to effect change, than any other voice in the adoption community. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: adoptee, adoptees, adoption, adoption impact, Adoption law, adoptive family, biological family, birthfather, birthmother, considering adoption, denial, Ethics and morals, expectations, heritage, Labels, loss, stories, truth
By TAO
I recorded the episode of “Who Do You Think You Are?” that told the story of Chris O’Donnell tracing his paternal ancestors. I watched the episode this morning, sipping my coffee in the pre-dawn hours (yes, hours), while waking up to what would be another beautiful August morning. His story was fascinating and he said something similar to “the need for connection” to his ancestors, that is what I have always felt, that wasn’t within mom and dads power to give me. Why I have spent countless hours researching my ancestors on Ancestry. I do find it ironic that Ancestry is linked somehow to LDS, and they focus so much on family lines, yet at the same time seem to glorify and celebrate the severing of family lines for adoptees, and, if you look at the state of Utah with their restrictive laws for adoptees…but I will stop myself here instead of ranting further because I am getting off topic, again… Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: adoptee, adoptees, adoption, adoption impact, Adoption law, adoptive family, biological family, closed records, denial, fathers, loss
By TAO
Although this talk is on another subject, it provides very good food for thought for those who don’t speak up and demand accountability when you see something done wrong in adoption.
Tags: adoptee, adoption, adoption impact, Adoption law, adoptive family, biological family, birthfather, birthmother, communication, Ethics and morals, fathers, heritage, loss, mothers
By TAO
With several recent public cases in the news, and others within the last couple of years involving adopting or adoptive parents, what better time than now to start conversations and make a difference for the future.
Are you, as adoptive parents tired of people thinking (or saying) that adoptive parents are baby stealers or abusers? Then stand up and get angry when you see adopting or adoptive parents or agencies behaving badly… Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Abuse, adoptee, adoptees, adoption, adoption impact, Adoption law, adoptive family, biological family, communication, considering adoption, denial, Ethics and morals, fathers, loss, truth
By TAO
Oxymoron sentence I saw on an adoption forum…
paraphrased: “Looking for examples of adoption flyers I can make to put up because our adoption agency hasn’t found any expectant moms in good situations.”
Methinks she doesn’t quite grasp the concept of why most expectant mothers would consider adoption for their baby.
Tags: adoption, birthmother, communication, considering adoption, denial
By TAO
I can’t stop thinking about Baby Veronica, and neither can many other adult adoptees.
Absolutely moving post by Peach at “Neither Here Nor There”…
From Julie at Life, Adopted who nailed so many points…
Round Table at Lost Daughters…
From The Warrior Princess Diaries who adds her thoughts in a post called…
From Trace A DeMeyer over at American Indian Adoptees…
You all know my views on the case, and what was triggered in me reading the Transition Plan in the post Everyone Leaves. If you know of other adoptee blog posts – please link to them in the comments.
Tags: adoptee, adoptees, adoption impact, adoptive family, biological family, birthfather, birthmother, considering adoption, Ethics and morals, fathers, loss, mothers, truth
“Adult adoptees now aren’t the products of the resources (support) we have now. In 10+ years, we will be able to ask adult transracially adopted people how we did. And it is so case by case. Each adoptee and adoptive parent is different. This is why it’s so important and more and more resources are written and made available to adoptive families. Education is the start, action is the progress.”
The adopted ones blog 