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Tag Archives: birthfather

Didn’t know him

Yesterday, I googled the name of my father by birth to see if he was still alive. He isn’t, he passed not very long ago, his obit held information that helped me in his family tree which is most welcome, other than that, nothing has changed with his death, I didn’t know him, his choice from the start to the end. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on November 22, 2018 in Adoption

 

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In the land where adoption is win-win-win

An article was posted that had Tummy Mommy in the title, I knew I should avoid it, the title told me it would make me upset. I clicked anyway. Dumb, dumb idea.

I read it. I read it right to the bitter end. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 21, 2018 in Adoption

 

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How much does ‘fit’ have to do with the adoptee experience

I read an article on the results of a study on friends and what I call ‘fit’ and want to talk about how it relates to being adopted and how we experienced being adopted.  I am not saying fit is all there is, it isn’t, I’m saying I think it is a big component in adoption for the adoptee.  I have two life-long friends where there is no work required to maintain the relationship, whether a day or several years pass without talking, we just fit effortlessly and it’s always like we talked yesterday.  I had that same fit with dad, less so with mom. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I don’t think it’s either/or

Two posts I’ve read recently that may be good to discuss, mull on, agree or disagree.  And a third post I go back to time after time, it seems to give good advice for many situations in adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 10, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Simple primer for reading this blog…

The other day an Adoptive Parent left a comment on a post detailing that I had enormous problems bonding with my adoptive parents and how I demonize adoption as the source of all my pain and woes.  Say what?  Funny thing happened though, it didn’t upset me like it would have in the past, whether that’s because it’s become old hat, or because I’ve come to the conclusion that most folks can’t separate “adoption” from “being adopted” from “family” from “feelings” and get upset that I don’t use “disclaimers”, which I believe may have been part of the reason the comment was left. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Family tree and adoption collide

First off, thank you all for reading the guest post by Tiffany, the shares and number of visitors tell me how much everyone appreciated the story told, the comments were also appreciated and the conversation good.  If you missed it, read it here.  My hope is that Tiffany will write other posts here as well.

This last week I’ve filled in gaps in Dad’s family tree by researching the siblings lines of dad’s direct line ancestors, there’s plenty when you go back 400 years and I’ve been hit or miss in this area because they all seem to have had 10+ kids, who then had 10+ kids.  Having said that, until now, I thought us kids were the only adopted ones in the family, but it turns out there was another adoptee.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 15, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Similar and different…

Dear Adoptive Parents and those waiting to adopt,

I just had a thought on something adoptive parents and adoptees have in common, and it’s something I don’t think people get, but lets back-up and start with the basics.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Pity Party for one…

Thankful that Thanksgiving is done, now to just get through Christmas and New Years.  And yes, that all sounds like I’m nothing more than a Grinch singing Bah-Humbug.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2017 in Adoption

 

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The reason why, the reason why it is different

Some, perhaps even many adoptees grumble about hopeful and adoptive parents grabbing onto the latest happy domestic infant adoption story, sharing it widely, making sappy comments, and I know for me, it always triggers an immediate reaction that starts with ugh. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Could it simply be overwhelming feelings…

One of the never-ending conversations adoptive parents have is when the child’s mother of birth cancels, or just doesn’t show for an arranged get-together, despite having promised to be there.  I can’t say with any certainty, but I do wonder if it’s more the overwhelming feelings that keeps them from keeping the commitment. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Words and adoption

Platitudes, knee-jerk reactions followed by gas-lighting were topics on my Twitter-feed this morning, the latter two were words from MerriamWebster (follow them, they’re great).  All three happen to be part of the landscape of adoption-land that each person faces happening to them at some point. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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More thoughts on screening for adoptees

Still mulling on, fuming on the audacity of The National Council for Adoption Advocate suggesting that DTC genetic companies should screen for adoptees by asking them if they’re adopted and then providing “adoption professionals” to contact for help so it’s “adoption-supportive and sensitive”.  In my effort to consider whether they have a point re the “adoption professionals”, I googled adoption agencies+reunion advice. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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