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Author Archives: TAO

About TAO

Just someone who likes to talk about what interests me.

Empty Spaces

Sipping coffee my pre-dawn musings were reflecting on what informs us of who a person truly is deep inside. That set off a cascade of ruminations which culminated with a distinctly unsettled feeling about the adoptees growing up in what passes as an open adoption these days. Read the rest of this entry »

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22 Comments

Posted by on March 16, 2019 in Adoption

 

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I know an adoptee who is just fine being adopted….

The title being the default response by at least one person when any challenges and feelings an adoptee has faced, or is dealing with, is brought into a conversation. It is the response we expect and the non-adopted seldom let us down. This post is about a non-adoption conversation I had recently, hopefully it will be one that will allow non-adoptees to understand better and shift their requirements from adoptees making everyone else feel better, to accepting all facets of the adoptee experience as valid and real. Read the rest of this entry »

 
5 Comments

Posted by on February 26, 2019 in Adoption

 

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You need to respect the gravity of all that adoption is

You know what? This isn’t cute. This isn’t funny.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
8 Comments

Posted by on February 12, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Hard birthday thoughts and feelings…

Fair warning, swear words and pain included…

Trauma. We all have trauma at points throughout our life and there is nothing we can do to escape that, but I’m getting tired of having that visitor keep visiting, especially on the day I was born, a day meant to celebrate, a day that also happened recently. Another birthday that never fails to reminds me that I’m different, special in an ugly way of unworthy of even being acknowledged by some family members from both sides. Pain from the realty of what happened the day I was born, left, and all that has happened since that fateful day another bastard was born. Read the rest of this entry »

 
24 Comments

Posted by on February 6, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Knowledge we all deserve

Snippet from a post written back in 2014 Read the rest of this entry »

 
1 Comment

Posted by on February 2, 2019 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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Thoughts after watching Three Identical Strangers

I just watched Three Identical Strangers. I’ve known about the study for years, talked about it on this blog. Reading vs. watching the film, there is no comparison in the sheer magnitude of emotions churning inside me right now versus reading about it in a series of dry words put on paper. This isn’t a review of the film. Read the rest of this entry »

 
19 Comments

Posted by on January 28, 2019 in Adoption

 

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2014 Archive: Closure…is it what people think it is?

I’ve been thinking about what closure is for a long time. Can you actually close the door on your past, or event, and walk into your future unscathed? I can’t. Every single event in my life that touched me so deeply that one would seek closure for – has molded and shaped me into who I am today.
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8 Comments

Posted by on January 25, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Sisters separated

I’ve posted this story elsewhere of sisters who were separated and adopted into different homes; the response was typical, shallow best describes the reaction and that’s the problem I see within the adoption community when it comes to the adoptee. Whatever the back story is for the one adopted, even if egregious, people in the adoption world typically only offer how lucky they were to find each other. Read the rest of this entry »

 
3 Comments

Posted by on January 17, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Things haven’t changed since my era…

So, a meme posted on an open FB page about an adopted child is “touched” by the loss of their primary attachment so they aren’t lucky, sparks these two comments by two different adoptive parents. Read the rest of this entry »

 
13 Comments

Posted by on January 1, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Difference between open adoption and open records

I read a question to an adoptee who was just venturing outside of her own adoption about her view on open records, as if, every adoptee comes complete with unlimited knowledge about all things adoption. The adoptee responded by talking about their feelings and concerns on open adoption. I’m not sure why some adoptive parents still need to ask every adoptee they meet about how they feel about ‘open records’, and of course, they didn’t clear up the confusion the adoptee had between the subject asked and the subject of her answer given, hence this post. Read the rest of this entry »

 
15 Comments

Posted by on December 27, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Christmas open thread…

It’s just the two of us this Christmas and I’m thankful it’s just us. We value spending quiet time together, doing things together, perhaps we’ve just reached that point in our lives where being together is what matters the most. Read the rest of this entry »

 
17 Comments

Posted by on December 21, 2018 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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Can both positive and negative exist in adoption?

I love how comments spur more thoughts, reflections, or a penny or two dropping (myself included). I’m talking about the comments in my last post, a post that started off more as a why vent than anything else, and then, naturally morphed into more. I’ve pulled a few snippets from the comments, and yes, context is lost with just a snippet from a larger thought, but you’re welcome to read the post and comments in full. Read the rest of this entry »

 
8 Comments

Posted by on December 11, 2018 in Adoption

 

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