RSS

Author Archives: TAO

About TAO

Just someone who likes to talk about what interests me.

Life can be complicated and overwhelming at times

Daily contradictions in a life filled with complicated realities.  Painful memories have been triggered by the news that push to intrude into my mind instead of staying firmly in the past.  Simple welcome memories that pop into my head that bring me joy in the middle of a mundane task in one moment, to  fear of what lies ahead, to sheer awe at what someone did, sometimes even for me.  Days when I’m caught unaware by a rush of nostalgia that washes over me sparked by a simple object or picture that caught my eye, quickly dampened by the collision of other memories and knowledge of that time intruding to remind me that life really wasn’t that simple, or good. Read the rest of this entry »

Advertisements
 
9 Comments

Posted by on January 15, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

Tags: , , , , ,

The Book: Being Adopted – The Lifelong Search for Self

(a post from 2011 I’ve rewritten).  I have so much praise for this book, the way it explains the different phases an adoptee may go through, and the triggers that can happen along the way.  How the cognitive developmental stages work with understanding adoption, to different stressors, losses, the different phases of life. Read the rest of this entry »

 
17 Comments

Posted by on January 6, 2018 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , ,

More than a good read…

There is no one single story of adoption.  What there is, is a powerful collection of many stories from the ones adopted, each unique, each their own, that together weaves a portrait of what adoption is, and specifically, what it isn’t.  Each story powerful in not just what is written, but in what was left unsaid, listen to what isn’t said.

This story is one that I hope you will read, it touched me deeply. Read the rest of this entry »

 
10 Comments

Posted by on January 4, 2018 in Adoption

 

Tags: ,

New Years Eve thoughts…

I woke this morning and the clock told me it was 4:36 am, about the time I usually get up.  While I was waiting for my coffee to be ready, I stood at the sink and looked out the kitchen window into the darkness filled with shadows that I know are the massive trees in my neighborhood, highlighted by the warm glow from the street lights.  It’s beautiful and peaceful and I don’t like sleeping in and missing this time of day, nor later watching as the day begins to dawn, and later still watching the fog roll in.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
4 Comments

Posted by on December 31, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Simple primer for reading this blog…

The other day an Adoptive Parent left a comment on a post detailing that I had enormous problems bonding with my adoptive parents and how I demonize adoption as the source of all my pain and woes.  Say what?  Funny thing happened though, it didn’t upset me like it would have in the past, whether that’s because it’s become old hat, or because I’ve come to the conclusion that most folks can’t separate “adoption” from “being adopted” from “family” from “feelings” and get upset that I don’t use “disclaimers”, which I believe may have been part of the reason the comment was left. Read the rest of this entry »

 
13 Comments

Posted by on December 27, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Twas the day before Christmas Eve…

And I think an open thread might be a good idea for those who just want a space to chat, whether it’s about the holidays past or present, or you just want to hang out with friends who get it.  Talk about joy, sadness, hope, memories, favorite movies, what you’re doing, things that went right this year, even if you’re just feeling Bah Humbug or want to just say Hi and Merry Christmas to all.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
23 Comments

Posted by on December 23, 2017 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , ,

Family tree and adoption collide

First off, thank you all for reading the guest post by Tiffany, the shares and number of visitors tell me how much everyone appreciated the story told, the comments were also appreciated and the conversation good.  If you missed it, read it here.  My hope is that Tiffany will write other posts here as well.

This last week I’ve filled in gaps in Dad’s family tree by researching the siblings lines of dad’s direct line ancestors, there’s plenty when you go back 400 years and I’ve been hit or miss in this area because they all seem to have had 10+ kids, who then had 10+ kids.  Having said that, until now, I thought us kids were the only adopted ones in the family, but it turns out there was another adoptee.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
9 Comments

Posted by on December 15, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

The journey so far being an adoptive mom

This post is by Tiffany one of my friends I met on an adoption forum years ago.  She’s fierce about what’s right, what’s wrong, she’s also an adoptive mom.  A while ago, I asked her to write a post that might help others understand the complexity and challenges of adoption.  She said she’d tell her story and see if that helped.  This is a long-read so grab a beverage before digging in.  This is a must read.  Thank you my friend.

************** Read the rest of this entry »

 
52 Comments

Posted by on December 7, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Similar and different…

Dear Adoptive Parents and those waiting to adopt,

I just had a thought on something adoptive parents and adoptees have in common, and it’s something I don’t think people get, but lets back-up and start with the basics.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
6 Comments

Posted by on December 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Pity Party for one…

Thankful that Thanksgiving is done, now to just get through Christmas and New Years.  And yes, that all sounds like I’m nothing more than a Grinch singing Bah-Humbug.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
20 Comments

Posted by on November 30, 2017 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Trust should go both ways in domestic infant adoption

I watched a discussion play out early this week on an adoption board on BabyCenter, one of the few boards I still enjoy reading because they normally don’t deal in fluff, are adamant that you can’t be shady, and face the reality that adoption is hard, but sometimes it’s needed. I popped in this week and one caught my eye, I read it, and it’s still in my mind today; an expectant mother wanted to learn about the adoption and the process.  She asked whether people adopted for charity or because they wanted to be parents and other good questions.  Before I get to the question that tipped a few over, I want to note that it was just a few that seem to be aghast with what she wanted, and others offered solid advice and support. Read the rest of this entry »

 
13 Comments

Posted by on November 26, 2017 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , ,

The reason why, the reason why it is different

Some, perhaps even many adoptees grumble about hopeful and adoptive parents grabbing onto the latest happy domestic infant adoption story, sharing it widely, making sappy comments, and I know for me, it always triggers an immediate reaction that starts with ugh. Read the rest of this entry »

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,