I’ve posted this story elsewhere of sisters who were separated and adopted into different homes; the response was typical, shallow best describes the reaction and that’s the problem I see within the adoption community when it comes to the adoptee. Whatever the back story is for the one adopted, even if egregious, people in the adoption world typically only offer how lucky they were to find each other. Read the rest of this entry »
Author Archives: TAO
So, a meme posted on an open FB page about an adopted child is “touched” by the loss of their primary attachment so they aren’t lucky, sparks these two comments by two different adoptive parents. Read the rest of this entry »
I read a question to an adoptee who was just venturing outside of her own adoption about her view on open records, as if, every adoptee comes complete with unlimited knowledge about all things adoption. The adoptee responded by talking about their feelings and concerns on open adoption. I’m not sure why some adoptive parents still need to ask every adoptee they meet about how they feel about ‘open records’, and of course, they didn’t clear up the confusion the adoptee had between the subject asked and the subject of her answer given, hence this post. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s just the two of us this Christmas and I’m thankful it’s just us. We value spending quiet time together, doing things together, perhaps we’ve just reached that point in our lives where being together is what matters the most. Read the rest of this entry »
I love how comments spur more thoughts, reflections, or a penny or two dropping (myself included). I’m talking about the comments in my last post, a post that started off more as a why vent than anything else, and then, naturally morphed into more. I’ve pulled a few snippets from the comments, and yes, context is lost with just a snippet from a larger thought, but you’re welcome to read the post and comments in full. Read the rest of this entry »
When you write books on adoption, adopting, have a website, facebook, instagram, twitter, all of which focus primarily on adoption, adopting, you being an adoptive parent raising adopted children, isn’t it a wee bit hypocritical to be worrying about whether children are adopted or were adopted? And what if your children decide they were adopted, will they get gold stars? Or, alternatively, they decide they are adopted, will they get lectured on allowing adoption to define them? Read the rest of this entry »
Scattered thoughts today wondering why I react the way I do.
When something serious relates to me, I’m all business, I ask specific questions without any thread of emotion in my voice, or held within my body. I listen. I ask follow-up questions. I don’t cry, I don’t even feel emotional, nor scared, I just am.
Read the rest of this entry »
Yesterday, I googled the name of my father by birth to see if he was still alive. He isn’t, he passed not very long ago, his obit held information that helped me in his family tree which is most welcome, other than that, nothing has changed with his death, I didn’t know him, his choice from the start to the end. Read the rest of this entry »
An article was posted that had Tummy Mommy in the title, I knew I should avoid it, the title told me it would make me upset. I clicked anyway. Dumb, dumb idea.
I read it. I read it right to the bitter end. Read the rest of this entry »
Thankful for how willing adoptees are to not just talk about adoption, being adopted, but to also have the grace, strength and power inside them to tell their stories in ways that makes you feel them, instead of just reading them. Stories unique to each, and yet, weaving similar themes that run through their stories. It’s a gift for both prospective and adoptive parents that I hope they willingly accept, think deeply on, and challenge themselves to dig deep to understand. Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Friends, how are you doing this month? Were you dreading it as much as I was? I’ve been disconnected in many ways, specifically in not feeling in the mood to venture into the fray this month creates, staying in small trusted circles until now…
I know I’m always talking about how you adopt matters, I’m hoping that today’s post offers you a chance to consider how the long-term impact your choices in adopting can play out and even be generational. Choosing the way to get that baby fastest, easiest, the shortest time post birth to relinquishment, or no revocation period, shouldn’t be what guides the choices you make, your ethics and morals should. Read the rest of this entry »