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Tag Archives: adoption

Thoughts for Adoptive Parents to Mull On

What would you say if I said I wasn’t thankful I was adopted?

Would you say that I must have had a bad experience and you’re sorry?

Would you also tell me that you know other adoptees who are thankful they were adopted? That they love being adopted? That they are thankful they weren’t aborted? Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 20, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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#NAAM2020 – This Happened Four Years Ago

Four years ago Adam Crasper was deported back to South Korea. Mr. Crasper was adopted by US Citizens as a three year old from South Korea. Please watch the segment done on November 17th, 2016 telling his story on Seattle Station KIRO 7. Hear what happened to him.

You can lend your support in finally getting Citizenship for All Adoptees whose adoptive parents failed to get them naturalized before they turned 18. Please go to Citizenship For All Adoptees on FB.

 

 

 
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Posted by on November 18, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Being Honest as an Adoptee

Is there any way an adoptee can truly be fully honest to others about their deepest feelings about being adopted? To me, it doesn’t seem possible, at least for many of us who feel the weight of loyalty to protect one or both families over our truths. Or because we want to protect a fragile or new relationship with a member of our family by birth. It silences us. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just that many of us never will be able to, instead, we ignore our needs to give voice to the harder experiences and deep dark feelings we’ve been through – even in relatively anonymous spaces. Invisible strings seem to hold us back from telling our stories in-depth, a needed telling to finally find release and maybe even some peace. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 9, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Feeling Thankful And Hopeful

Yesterday was good, oh so good, historic, restoring. This morning I woke up thinking it’s a new dawn, new day.

Now hopefully good can happen, people can come together and change hearts and minds. And right now during National Adoption Awareness Month may the Adoptee Citizenship Act pass. I can’t think of anything more important in the adoption world than that. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 8, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Looking back, looking forward.

The start of #NAAM brings up so many mixed emotions, including where I see myself now with such a mix of amazingly brilliant adoptees now speaking up; their digging deep and being far more open and real than my personality allows me to be. I’m thankful for every one of them, you should be too. Find them, follow them, learn from them. Amplify their voices, share their posts, listen to their lived experiences and the wisdom they’ve gained. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 2, 2020 in Adoption

 

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What’s your favorite song?

Lori sent me on a never-ending quest to see if I could come up with a list of 5 songs I couldn’t live without in my life. It was the rabbit-hole that never ended; it was also good hitting all the old bands and singers and just listening to the music created in my youth, the music that stirs something deep inside of me.

Music was my saving grace during my teen years when I was struggling so very much with being adopted, doing things I now regret and often wonder how I made it through alive. I didn’t think I’d survive and sometimes I didn’t want to. Music got me through the angry, the hurt, and the pain most of all. Songs written during an era of deep unrest and upset.

That music has gotten me through every rough period of my life.

I gave up my quest to whittle down my favorite songs to a list of just 5 songs. I can’t because so many helped me survive those years and again later in my life each time when I needed them again. Listening to them again during everything going on right now has helped, a fragile time if there ever was one, while at the same time – one after the other pulled me back in time to all those feelings, and at times, it felt like I was watching a home movie in my mind. Damn. I came to the conclusion I can’t create a numerical list of all time favorites because each one is special and connected to memories. If I had to pick just one song to have, it would be Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. I can’t tell you why, but every time I hear even a few notes of the song, I am pulled in and everything else recedes.

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2020 in Adoption

 

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#NAAM

With National Adoption Awareness Month mere days away, I have a challenge for you. Don’t worry, it’s an easy challenge. The challenge is to be aware of both your own instinctual bias in regards to adoption, but also in the different roles (Adoptive parents, Adoptees, First Mothers) whatever that may be, and to be aware of the bias in articles, posts, memes being put out during NAAM.

Instead of trying to explain what I mean I’m linking to this post about stereotypes, hierarchy and bias in adoption. Give it a read through (and the comments) and then actively see where the stereotypes, hierarchy and bias lands in NAAM this year. Which triad position in adoption is seen, heard, believed, held up as good, why it is, where did the credibility come from, which role is pushed back on, things like that. Talk about what you see this year in the comments of this post if you’d like.

Adoption hierarchy and stereotypes

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Dear pro-life would be adopter…from 2015

(Lots of online discussion on adopting due to the recent SC nominee so it seems timely to re-up this post and hopefully make some think)

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

She’s not ready to adopt…

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Musing on Adoption and More

When did it become okay to treat Adoptive Parents as the enemy? Yes, they benefit from how adoption is currently practiced and many of the practices are wrong anyway you look at it, but the question remains – when did it become okay to be nasty for the sake of being nasty?

Maybe I’m just too old to understand.

Maybe the other Adoptees are right and I’m wrong.

Maybe I’m right and they are the ones who can’t see that being nasty doesn’t work.

Maybe the world changed; people changed and shaming is the only way to change anything. If that is true then we are all in a heap of trouble with no way to move into a kinder, gentler world. I hope not. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Adoptees need your help for a Virtual Rally

Please tell me you’re in this time? That you take this egregious mess seriously? That you don’t want one more adoptee who was brought to the US, legally, complete with a path to citizenship, by their new Adoptive Parents (US Citizens) to be deported because their parents failed to follow through and get their child naturalized. Parents, who for whatever reason, lack of understanding all the way to just putting it off till it was too late and the immigration paperwork expired when the child turned 18 failed to take this last step. There are thousands of adoptees in the US who live in dread they will be sent back to the countries they were taken from as babies and toddlers and it’s just not right, or just.

This post gives you more details on the whole back story mess with the CCA of 2000 with sections quoted from the National Council for Adoption – Adoption Advocates publication. It should give you a better understanding of why this needs fixing, and why the time is now.

This time I’m hoping for Adoption Agencies to also climb on board promoting getting the Adoptee Citizenship Act HR2731 passed, and to show up on twitter and support the adoptees, regardless if your agency did international adoptions, or not, an adoptee is an adoptee and every adoptee matters.

On Twitter, you’ll find all the information you need to know, even retweeting adoptee posts with the hashtag #Citizenship4Adoptees helps. It’s happening Wednesday, September 23, 2020, between 11am PST and 2 pm EST. If you can’t make it then, go later and retweet (quote retweet) and include the hashtag #Citizenship4Adoptees

 

 

 
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Posted by on September 22, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Getting personal in regards to being adopted.

I’ve been pondering on a conversation my husband and I had the other night, sparked by a question on a game show of all things. Something about how long is too long for your in-laws to visit. Long story short, he didn’t like how mom treated me, how she always seemed to find a way to put me down. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Muddling two different adoption subjects into one?

No, Adoptee Rights Legislation passed in a particular state through the hard work of adoptees does not mean the state is an “open adoption state”. Is there no editor at adoption.com?

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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