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Tag Archives: adoption

From 2014: Every single day…

My mother was asked by someone fairly close to her, if she still thought about me after all this time.  The title was the immediate answer.  Stop and think about what that means to a mother.  To me, it means that not only did she think about me, she would have wondered if I was okay, healthy, happy, sad, even if I was alive. I can only begin to imagine the level of pain she lived with, because without knowledge, I doubt that she would think only good thoughts, not have any worries about the life I was living, rather, they would include if I was living, what my new family was like, was I loved, was I okay. I compare her words with the length of time I thought of my son every single day – before I had days, and then, weeks go by without thinking about my son after he passed. That transition happened long before the first decade had passed and having lived through that, I can’t imagine the pain that stretched decades, day in, day out, no relief, no forgetting. It’s incomprehensible, and makes tears roll down my face just thinking about it. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Shifting feelings over time about being adopted

Thought I’d take this time to thank all those who take the time to leave a comment, spark a conversation, drop a memory or a story. All of you make this little blog what it is, a community of friends, who most likely will never meet in person, but understand the other on a fairly deep level. Thank you, I appreciate all of you, whether you leave a comment or just pop in and read a post now and then, you make my life better. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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2018 – What the first mom study said to me

In June 2018 I did a post on a recent first mom study of mothers who’d relinquished their parental rights within the last 25 years. I talked about what I took out of it, I also copied the recommendations from the study, who knows if any adoption service providers read the study or considered those recommendations. If any agency did, I’d love to hear about it, if they’d already practiced that way, I’d love to hear that too. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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A story told in 65 words.

 

 

 

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Posted by on February 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Note to Adoptive Parents

This post is wandering into a place that makes me uncomfortable and maybe it will be for naught as those who need to hear it, will likely not hear or understand the reason why I’m going there. Do understand #NotAll applies without me needing to say it each time.

It’s a fact that infertility plays an oversize reason why people turn to adoption, and specifically, to domestic infant adoption (DIA). It’s also a fact that many of those have suffered through multiple losses first, and for that, I’m sorry. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Couple of questions for adoptees

Adoptee’s do you think your parents skewed their parenting in ways suggested in the quote below. If yes, in what way? Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 12, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Was adopted or Is adopted – which is right?

Since I came on-line I’ve read countless comments by adoptive parents who don’t want their child defined by adoption and being adopted (oh the horrors). Positive Adoption Language supports that being defined by being adopted is a very bad thing with Is Adopted being bad and Was Adopted being good or positive, it was just an event after all. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2020 in Adoption

 

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From 2014: Question I’ve been asked.

Lightly edited.

This post is going to focus on the opposite of what people have asked adoptees like myself who are vocal, that really ignorant question that means; “what did your parents do wrong so we won’t make those same mistakes your parents did”. How’s that for a slap in the face to your parents and to you all at the same time…

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Posted by on January 30, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Morning Thoughts

Adoptee’s speak of the trauma they’ve lived through and adoptive parents respond with I’m sorry you’ve had a bad experience, not all adoptee’s feel that way. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Happy for New York Adoptees

Adoptees from New York now have the right to their original birth certificates; in the first 48 hours 3600 online applications were made. There’s an estimated 650,000 adoptees from New York per this article: New York Adoptees Rush to Request Birth Certificates, After Years of Blocked Access. Adoptee Rights Law has details on how the new law works: Updated Info on New York’s New Law

Congratulations to everyone who has fought to change the law in the last 40 odd years and to all adoptees from New York. Now the challenge is to get the changes made to the NY Law known by adoptees from NY, seems easy but there are still adoptees from states who have changed the law regarding their original birth certificate, who have no idea they can order theirs. Read the rest of this entry »

 
21 Comments

Posted by on January 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Loss in adoption

I’m thankful that more people involved in adoption have started recognising that there is loss with adoption and being adopted, how or when it affects the one adopted is individual, but loss there is. Yet, I’m also wary when I hear people acknowledge that, people who aren’t adopted but adopting can’t really understand what that loss truly is if they have only seen it, but haven’t lived it. It makes me worry that their acknowledgement will just become a trite expected thing to say, rather than any deep understanding what it is. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2020 in Adoption

 

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The New Year and Rambling Thoughts

Happy New Year my friends! Hoping you all had holidays that left you feeling happy and refreshed for the New Year filled with goals and dreams galore. I’m still shocked we are 20 years into the new century, seems like just the other day we went to bed wondering what would happen at midnight re computers and Y2K. Damn, somehow that makes me feel even older and more reflective than normal, if that’s possible, and reflective in a way that goes off in strange tangents. (you’ve been warned) Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2020 in Adoption

 

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