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Tag Archives: adoption

Can we stop being so shallow in the adoption community?

I’ve tried every which way to help people, specifically adoptive parents in the adoption community to move on from labelling an adoptee as having either a positive or negative adoption experience. I’ve failed in all previous attempts and I don’t like admitting defeat, so here’s one more try…
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Posted by on August 12, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Looking for adoptee input on searching

I’m looking for adoptees willing to weigh in on:

  1. reasons why you could and did tell your parents you were searching for your family of birth.
  2. reasons why you couldn’t and wouldn’t tell your parents you were searching for your family of birth.
  3. reasons why you chose not to search until your parents passed.
  4. reasons why you chose not to search.
  5. reason why you searched
  6. reason I haven’t listed

And if you could refer to all numbers that corresponds to what you did that’d be helpful so I don’t assume incorrectly.  Also, if you care to share, about what age you started to actively search. Feel free to wander farther afield than the above choices if you’d like, you have the floor.

 
15 Comments

Posted by on August 9, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Is it really that hard to accept that your child has another family?

 

Dear people who adopt, want to adopt,

Your child’s “birthmom’s” mom is your child’s grandma, not “birthmom’s” mom (well, she is that too). I get that you may desperately want to be your child’s only family, but that isn’t how it works when you adopt (and you know me well enough to know my answer is if you can’t accept that and haven’t adopted yet, then don’t adopt). Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 3, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What adoption is…

Those of you who are friends of mine on facebook know I’m getting to the stage of life where memories of times past seem important to remember. Whether it’s my age, because I love genealogy that has stories to create whispers of who that person was, what they stood for, so who they were wasn’t lost in a sea of time, or just a personality quirk that’s always been there – I’m now officially that person who muses on the past.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 1, 2018 in Adoption

 

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My child’s story is different…

Yes, every adoptee’s story is unique. There are also similarities found in all adoption stories for the one adopted, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what to tell you on how to get there, but I do know you need to get there. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Broken

I’ve tried multiple times to collect my thoughts enough to talk about all the feelings that have erupted inside of me, unnameable, but there while I’ve watched the coverage of the separation of children from their mothers.  Other adoptees are feeling strong feelings over this as well.  Their feelings may be different than mine, feelings filtered through their own personal story. Read the rest of this entry »

 
27 Comments

Posted by on June 23, 2018 in Adoption

 

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What the first mom study said to me

I didn’t have time to delve deeply into the first mom study in my last post.  Today I want to talk about what it said to me, but before that, I want to reiterate some of my feelings on first moms and domestic infant adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I read a study on first moms that sparked this question…

If an adoptee offers anything online that could be considered less than positive about adoption there is a common reactionary statement that goes something like this: Most happy adoptees are out living their lives and aren’t on adoption forums (often littered with I’m sorry you had a bad experience, bitter, ungrateful, the I know an adoptee,  etc.).  I haven’t met an adoptee online who hasn’t had that said to them at least once, if not multiple times.

The same is offered to first moms online – different but similar to what is offered to an adoptee. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Being adopted and finding your community

I’m thrilled to see so many adoptees talking on facebook and twitter, every year there are more and more finding their voices.  Adoptees demanding space in adoption.  Demanding to be heard instead of silenced.  Not taking being told to sit down and be quiet from people who came into the world of adoption as adults, instead finding their community and voice, it all bodes well for the future of adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
14 Comments

Posted by on June 2, 2018 in Adoption

 

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When the one adopted is stuck in the middle

I’m in a few adoption groups on facebook, closed groups.  Groups that lean-to opposite sides of adoption, i.e. adoptive parent heavy or first parent heavy.  The message promoted in each group is often weighted on based on the predominant voices in the group.  I hear a very different message presented in each, two sides of the same coin where the scales tip to the side of the prominent voices in the group. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Words…

Still pondering the rhetoric and sayings commonly used in adoption that sparked a memory of a conversation a while ago.  It started something like this: Adoption proponent asked adoptees on an adoption forum if they were proud to be adopted.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2018 in Adoption

 

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From 2012: Long rambling post about life and dealing with ambiguous loss…

(this post is not about adoption, other than I’m adopted – Judy’s us)

Judy Miller has an interesting post on ambiguous loss and some good points regarding adoption and how the ambiguous loss can be felt at different times (ebbs and flows) over an adoptee’s lifetime.  I have heard the term but had never taken the time to understand the parameters of what was included in the term. It was interesting to read and one of the links goes to a book by Pauline Boss.  I may put it on my list of books to read. The Amazon page has this to say about the book:  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 21, 2018 in Adoption

 

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