I’ve been pretty hard on the choices some adoptive parent have made lately and will be hard on them in the future. I’ve also held other adoptive parents up as doing it right and will do so in the future. What I won’t do is stay silent when I see something I feel is wrong that has the potential to harm adoptees; whether it’s a law, policy, a stupid meme or adoptive parents acting badly. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adoption
I’m not the first adoptee to speak up against adoptive parents oversharing their child’s adoption story, nor will I be the last. We routinely speak up on this issue and have for years. This is a Do Better subject dear to many of us. This is also a Respect Your Child subject we think you should care about. We have lived a lifetime of being adopted and know all too well the consequences for the one adopted, and by extension, all adoptees when adoptive parents overshare their child’s private stories. (do feel free to assume a #not-all-adoptees-feel-that-way.)
This post is courtesy of the latest rendition of oversharing an adoptee’s story on-line, the most recent adoptee video that’s gone viral. Read the rest of this entry »
On a post on WSBS FB page talking about the TLC show Taken At Birth series is this comment:
Yes just finished. Was such a crazy story! Goes to show how much education and knowledge around adoption has improved in the last 70 years but still a horrific story.
I think sometimes prospective and adoptive parents don’t realize that how they say something – tells the reader the person’s feelings of privilege and entitlement to adopt someone else’s baby. The quote below is in response to a comment about how birthparents should be allowed to spend time in hospital without the adopting parents there: Read the rest of this entry »
There’s no lack of conversations on naming and changing a child’s name in the online world of adoption. There’s also no lack of *reasons* why a child’s name should (or must) be changed. Here’s what I’ve learned reading those conversations about how I view names. Read the rest of this entry »
I think everyone has triggers that can immediately set you off. I have them, although the older I get, the less I seem to care about the ones that intrude on daily life, more of a it is what it is and move on. Yet, I still can’t do that with adoption triggers, they sit with me, sometimes I’m not aware they are still there until the next time they show themselves. This post is mainly about one adoption trigger; and it’s a ridiculously ignorant adoption meme going around on general and adoption FB pages. Read the rest of this entry »
When the name of the site is adoptees dot org – would you assume the posts on it would be authored by adoptees? I would. I’d expect it to be an adoptee-centric space with adoptee’s in charge, which would be great.
“Here at Adoptee.org, we answer questions regarding adoptee trauma, DNA testing, how to communicate with birth parents, how to find your birth parents, and anything else related to adoptees. We hope our site helps you.”
I hated this hashtag from the first time I saw it several years ago. I hated it because the people using it, whatever role they held or hoped to hold in adoption, had no real knowledge of all that adoption is; what it means to be adopted and the different struggles adoptees face over the course of their lives. Read the rest of this entry »
You may have been told to put yourself out there, pass along your adoption profile, get friends and family to pass on the message that you want to adopt. This has been a standard for a long time.
I was mulling this morning on how I shift my language surrounding the family members in mom and dad’s family trees. I know, just a weird thought that popped into my head, but it got me thinking. Read the rest of this entry »
Adoptive mother breastfeeding is a controversial subject both in adoptee circles and within wider adoption circles. When the topic is posed the response by adoptees is swift with most responses being a hard no. It’s a hard no for me too. This is my attempt at explaining this immediate and instinctual hard no from me, because I finally found the word that explained why. Read the rest of this entry »
The post below was created in 2013, and yet, it’s still relevent today because people are still being cheerleaders for an adoption they know nothing about, except it’s an adoption. Minor edits done.