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Tag Archives: birthmother

Similar and different…

Dear Adoptive Parents and those waiting to adopt,

I just had a thought on something adoptive parents and adoptees have in common, and it’s something I don’t think people get, but lets back-up and start with the basics.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on December 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Pity Party for one…

Thankful that Thanksgiving is done, now to just get through Christmas and New Years.  And yes, that all sounds like I’m nothing more than a Grinch singing Bah-Humbug.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2017 in Adoption

 

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Trust should go both ways in domestic infant adoption

I watched a discussion play out early this week on an adoption board on BabyCenter, one of the few boards I still enjoy reading because they normally don’t deal in fluff, are adamant that you can’t be shady, and face the reality that adoption is hard, but sometimes it’s needed. I popped in this week and one caught my eye, I read it, and it’s still in my mind today; an expectant mother wanted to learn about the adoption and the process.  She asked whether people adopted for charity or because they wanted to be parents and other good questions.  Before I get to the question that tipped a few over, I want to note that it was just a few that seem to be aghast with what she wanted, and others offered solid advice and support. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 26, 2017 in Adoption

 

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The reason why, the reason why it is different

Some, perhaps even many adoptees grumble about hopeful and adoptive parents grabbing onto the latest happy domestic infant adoption story, sharing it widely, making sappy comments, and I know for me, it always triggers an immediate reaction that starts with ugh. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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A What I’m thankful for, What I’m not thankful for related to adoption post…

I’m thankful for having parents who stood up and said no this is wrong when they saw it.  I’m not saying they were perfect, they were strong in what they believed in, strong in speaking their minds.  They taught us that it was good to stand up for what is right and push back when you saw something wrong.  I wish I was as strong as they were, I’m not, and I’m not thankful for that lack of strength, moral character, clarity that made them who they were, but I try to speak up when I see something I find egregious happening in adoption.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 22, 2017 in Adoption

 

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Could it simply be overwhelming feelings…

One of the never-ending conversations adoptive parents have is when the child’s mother of birth cancels, or just doesn’t show for an arranged get-together, despite having promised to be there.  I can’t say with any certainty, but I do wonder if it’s more the overwhelming feelings that keeps them from keeping the commitment. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Words and adoption

Platitudes, knee-jerk reactions followed by gas-lighting were topics on my Twitter-feed this morning, the latter two were words from MerriamWebster (follow them, they’re great).  All three happen to be part of the landscape of adoption-land that each person faces happening to them at some point. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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More thoughts on screening for adoptees

Still mulling on, fuming on the audacity of The National Council for Adoption Advocate suggesting that DTC genetic companies should screen for adoptees by asking them if they’re adopted and then providing “adoption professionals” to contact for help so it’s “adoption-supportive and sensitive”.  In my effort to consider whether they have a point re the “adoption professionals”, I googled adoption agencies+reunion advice. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Just a wee bit late…

The National Council for Adoption has concerns on adoptees using DNA tests to find their families of birth and get health information.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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A quote and a couple of good reads with a twist…

I started this post looking for a quote on identity.  A quote that would describe something so fundamental as needing to know your family of origin, the why’s, the who am I, the missing part of who we are.  Let me know if the quote below resonates with you.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Question to ponder

We are the adopted children of our parents, we (nor them) have any say in that, it’s the legal definition.

We now have a new qualifier being attached to adoptees – we are a first mom’s birth child.

Can we please stop adding qualifiers to adoptees, last time I checked, there was nothing wrong with just being called their child.  Why add a qualifier, we didn’t disqualify you, we had no say or choice in the matter.  And really, it stings that you can’t even claim your child is your child.  And if it is the professionals in adoption telling you to call your child that, here’s a thought, they’re wrong.  Tell them that, and that perhaps, they should talk to adoptees about what we want to be called.

Ugh, just ugh.

Adoptees, do feel free to weigh in on what you think of being called your mother’s birth child.

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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So, there was this guy on twitter…

Last July, there was a guy on twitter that sparked this post.  And no, not even a few months later am I a fan of naming folks, would rather just talk about the attitude.  He blocked me 🙂 and checking later, he’d deleted at least one of his tweets, I also double checked to make sure I’ve portrayed it accurately.  This guy, Billy, was upset that adoptees in New York want the same right others born in New York have; access to, and the right to receive a copy of their original birth certificate (OBC), he also seems upset that any adoptee anywhere could have that right. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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