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Tag Archives: birthmother

Thoughts for Adoptive Parents to Mull On

What would you say if I said I wasn’t thankful I was adopted?

Would you say that I must have had a bad experience and you’re sorry?

Would you also tell me that you know other adoptees who are thankful they were adopted? That they love being adopted? That they are thankful they weren’t aborted? Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 20, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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National Adoption Awareness Month – Pop Quiz 2020

The post below is a slightly edited post from 2019 there is no pop quiz and with the covid-19 pandemic happening I’m hoping that people have become both more aware and motivated to know their family health histories; to document them, to know them, especially for their children they adopted who won’t have grown up in their biological family. Please comment and talk about ensuring this Thanksgiving you will do it, or update it. It’s important.

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We all know that having an updated and robust Family Health History is invaluable, that the older we get, the more important it becomes. Long-time readers of this blog know that I was that adoptee who was too busy living my best life to focus on adoption and being an adoptee, until I wasn’t. Until the lack of any family health history changed my life, completely, a life I never could get back. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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#NAAM

With National Adoption Awareness Month mere days away, I have a challenge for you. Don’t worry, it’s an easy challenge. The challenge is to be aware of both your own instinctual bias in regards to adoption, but also in the different roles (Adoptive parents, Adoptees, First Mothers) whatever that may be, and to be aware of the bias in articles, posts, memes being put out during NAAM.

Instead of trying to explain what I mean I’m linking to this post about stereotypes, hierarchy and bias in adoption. Give it a read through (and the comments) and then actively see where the stereotypes, hierarchy and bias lands in NAAM this year. Which triad position in adoption is seen, heard, believed, held up as good, why it is, where did the credibility come from, which role is pushed back on, things like that. Talk about what you see this year in the comments of this post if you’d like.

Adoption hierarchy and stereotypes

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Dear pro-life would be adopter…from 2015

(Lots of online discussion on adopting due to the recent SC nominee so it seems timely to re-up this post and hopefully make some think)

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

She’s not ready to adopt…

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Musing on Adoption and More

When did it become okay to treat Adoptive Parents as the enemy? Yes, they benefit from how adoption is currently practiced and many of the practices are wrong anyway you look at it, but the question remains – when did it become okay to be nasty for the sake of being nasty?

Maybe I’m just too old to understand.

Maybe the other Adoptees are right and I’m wrong.

Maybe I’m right and they are the ones who can’t see that being nasty doesn’t work.

Maybe the world changed; people changed and shaming is the only way to change anything. If that is true then we are all in a heap of trouble with no way to move into a kinder, gentler world. I hope not. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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The Name on the Original Birth Certificate

I’ve been thinking about naming and how it seems to be done today in DIA (Domestic Infant Adoption), and why one aspect bothers me, both personally and ethically. That is what has been bouncing around in my thoughts lately, so I thought I’d try to make sense in a post. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Adoption professionals

Once in a while I’ll check out adoption provider websites to see what’s changed; what’s new, what way the industry is trending towards. Agency / adoption provider websites used to spell things out on their websites detailing all the steps an expectant mother would need to know about. It was good. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What adoption shouldn’t be.

Long-time adoption agencies and lawyers have been dealing with adoption for decades, nothing new there, except they now compete, co-exist with an ever expanding list of *new and improved* so-called adoption service providers who call themselves consultants, whose goal is to get you (a hopeful adoptive parent) a baby, and fast. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2020 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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Are you a HAP hoping to adopt?

If yes, this post is for you. If you see yourself reflected below, do better, be better, because that’s not the moral standards an adoptive parent needs to have. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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PAL Suggestion

I have a suggestion for an addition to Positive Adoptive Language (PAL). Yes, me, the one who dislikes most of the required language, but maybe this request will spur an update and be inclusive of all parties to adoption (excluding adoption service providers), who knows, but it needs a good overhaul and what better time to start the conversation than now. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Making Choices

We make choices every day, but the values that drives those choices is what is important. I shopped at the same grocery chain for decades, even after their ownership changed, I resisted trying their competitor for more than a year. During that year I noticed older employees disappearing, new employees so young I wondered if they’d ever shopped for groceries before. Name brands disappearing, replaced with no-name products I’d never heard of before, or knew what company produced. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 21, 2020 in Adoption

 

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2018 – What the first mom study said to me

In June 2018 I did a post on a recent first mom study of mothers who’d relinquished their parental rights within the last 25 years. I talked about what I took out of it, I also copied the recommendations from the study, who knows if any adoption service providers read the study or considered those recommendations. If any agency did, I’d love to hear about it, if they’d already practiced that way, I’d love to hear that too. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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