I got myself twisted into knots this week. Why I allowed myself to be triggered probably comes down to the fact I’ve been on a strict no-stress diet for what seems like forever. Positive Adoption Language or PAL was the cause of my lapse of living stress free. First, for those reading, I don’t take issue with all the language listed, but my word, some (or most) of the “rules” about adoptees needs to change, and the change needs to led by adoptees; adoptive parents, birth parents, adoption professionals can weigh in, but it’s ultimately the adoptees who should decide the language used about them. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: birthmother
An article was posted that had Tummy Mommy in the title, I knew I should avoid it, the title told me it would make me upset. I clicked anyway. Dumb, dumb idea.
I read it. I read it right to the bitter end. Read the rest of this entry »
Those of you who are friends of mine on facebook know I’m getting to the stage of life where memories of times past seem important to remember. Whether it’s my age, because I love genealogy that has stories to create whispers of who that person was, what they stood for, so who they were wasn’t lost in a sea of time, or just a personality quirk that’s always been there – I’m now officially that person who muses on the past. Read the rest of this entry »
Just a quick note to Prospective Adoptive Parents, Read the rest of this entry »
Yes, every adoptee’s story is unique. There are also similarities found in all adoption stories for the one adopted, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what to tell you on how to get there, but I do know you need to get there. Read the rest of this entry »
I didn’t have time to delve deeply into the first mom study in my last post. Today I want to talk about what it said to me, but before that, I want to reiterate some of my feelings on first moms and domestic infant adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
If an adoptee offers anything online that could be considered less than positive about adoption there is a common reactionary statement that goes something like this: Most happy adoptees are out living their lives and aren’t on adoption forums (often littered with I’m sorry you had a bad experience, bitter, ungrateful, the I know an adoptee, etc.). I haven’t met an adoptee online who hasn’t had that said to them at least once, if not multiple times.
The same is offered to first moms online – different but similar to what is offered to an adoptee. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m in a few adoption groups on facebook, closed groups. Groups that lean-to opposite sides of adoption, i.e. adoptive parent heavy or first parent heavy. The message promoted in each group is often weighted on based on the predominant voices in the group. I hear a very different message presented in each, two sides of the same coin where the scales tip to the side of the prominent voices in the group. Read the rest of this entry »
I read an article on the results of a study on friends and what I call ‘fit’ and want to talk about how it relates to being adopted and how we experienced being adopted. I am not saying fit is all there is, it isn’t, I’m saying I think it is a big component in adoption for the adoptee. I have two life-long friends where there is no work required to maintain the relationship, whether a day or several years pass without talking, we just fit effortlessly and it’s always like we talked yesterday. I had that same fit with dad, less so with mom. Read the rest of this entry »
You may have been told to put yourself out there, pass along your adoption profile, get friends and family to pass on the message that you want to adopt. This has been a standard for a long time
You may have also been told to reach out to expectant mothers, especially those who have joined an adoption group on FB or an adoption forum seeing support. Read the rest of this entry »