In June 2018 I did a post on a recent first mom study of mothers who’d relinquished their parental rights within the last 25 years. I talked about what I took out of it, I also copied the recommendations from the study, who knows if any adoption service providers read the study or considered those recommendations. If any agency did, I’d love to hear about it, if they’d already practiced that way, I’d love to hear that too. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: birthmother
 Earlier this week the Today Show included a segment on a daughter meeting her mother for the first time. A daughter that resorted to using Facebook to try to find her by putting her personal information out on the internet (risky), but it paid off, and a reunion happened. So what happens in the comments on the Today Facebook page after the segment aired? (Be warned that I am using adoptive parents repeatedly throughout because that is what was used.)
We all know that having an updated and robust Family Health History is invaluable, that the older we get, the more important it becomes. Long-time readers of this blog know that I was that adoptee who was too busy living my best life to focus on adoption and being an adoptee, until I wasn’t. Until the lack of any family health history changed my life, completely, a life I never could get back. Read the rest of this entry »
My friend Beth left this quote in a comment under my other AAM post with a quote. I loved it. Still love it. It has nothing, and yet, it has everything to do with how adoption discourse happens today between members in the adoption ‘triad’.
As adoptees we have two different families; the family that adopted us, the family that we were born into. Both families shape who we are, what our family histories tell us also comes into play for many of us. Read the rest of this entry »
I think sometimes prospective and adoptive parents don’t realize that how they say something – tells the reader the person’s feelings of privilege and entitlement to adopt someone else’s baby. The quote below is in response to a comment about how birthparents should be allowed to spend time in hospital without the adopting parents there: Read the rest of this entry »
You may have been told to put yourself out there, pass along your adoption profile, get friends and family to pass on the message that you want to adopt. This has been a standard for a long time.
Adoptive mother breastfeeding is a controversial subject both in adoptee circles and within wider adoption circles. When the topic is posed the response by adoptees is swift with most responses being a hard no. It’s a hard no for me too. This is my attempt at explaining this immediate and instinctual hard no from me, because I finally found the word that explained why. Read the rest of this entry »
The post below was created in 2013, and yet, it’s still relevent today because people are still being cheerleaders for an adoption they know nothing about, except it’s an adoption. Minor edits done.
I’ve lost faith that most private adoption (DIA and DYI/DIA) will ever change to be child centered. Based on what I see, there seems to be little to no rigor in requiring people wanting to adopt be of a certain caliber, or have the ability to step outside of their wants, as long as they can tick specific boxes they get their homestudy approved, regardless if they are AP material or not. And when that happens only the industry wins, the child surely doesn’t. Read the rest of this entry »
And if what I’m saying below doesn’t apply to you, your choices, your adoption, then it doesn’t apply to you and yours, no need for a #notall. And if you can’t tell from the title and opening statement; I’m right pissed off and deeply saddened and disappointed at the same time. Read the rest of this entry »
I got myself twisted into knots this week. Why I allowed myself to be triggered probably comes down to the fact I’ve been on a strict no-stress diet for what seems like forever. Positive Adoption Language or PAL was the cause of my lapse of living stress free. First, for those reading, I don’t take issue with all the language listed, but my word, some (or most) of the “rules” about adoptees needs to change, and the change needs to led by adoptees; adoptive parents, birth parents, adoption professionals can weigh in, but it’s ultimately the adoptees who should decide the language used about them. Read the rest of this entry »