I’ve lost faith that most private adoption (DIA and DYI/DIA) will ever change to be child centered. Based on what I see, there seems to be little to no rigor in requiring people wanting to adopt be of a certain caliber, or have the ability to step outside of their wants, as long as they can tick specific boxes they get their homestudy approved, regardless if they are AP material or not. And when that happens only the industry wins, the child surely doesn’t. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adoptee
And if what I’m saying below doesn’t apply to you, your choices, your adoption, then it doesn’t apply to you and yours, no need for a #notall. And if you can’t tell from the title and opening statement; I’m right pissed off and deeply saddened and disappointed at the same time. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been an emotionally draining few weeks with all the new legislation being raced into law. It just seems so wrong, for so many reasons, reasons that will become excruciatingly real if any of the laws stand. There’s a reason doctors spoke up both pre and post Roe v. Wade, they witnessed the result when a woman could not obtain a safe, legal abortion and they had to try to save her life. But seeing as this is an adoption blog, that’s not the focus on this post. Read the rest of this entry »
“People will not look forward to posterity, who never looked backward to their ancestors” ~ Edmund Burke [1729-97]
Lynne Miller is perhaps one of the sweetest and most forgiving adoptee I’ve come across in a long, long time. She found out after her parents passed away that she was adopted and is a LDA (Late discovery adoptee). Since then, Lynne has been traveling the journey of discovery in a very sensitive manner to find out what her whole story is.
And then, yesterday, this happened, and do read the whole thread where Robin doubles down, repeatedly. Read the rest of this entry »
This post is by Tiffany, her second guest post here, she’s also one of my friends. She’s fierce about what’s right, what’s wrong, she’s also an adoptive mom. A while ago, I asked her to write a post that might help others understand the complexity and challenges of adoption. She said she’d tell her story and see if that helped, it did, people loved it and it made a difference. Today’s post took me back to when I was a little one with big feelings I didn’t know how to deal with, that in this post, are dealt with wisdom and grace, please hear what she’s saying, it’s important.
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Upfront I need to say I’ve never felt this way about my adoption and we all were Plan B, but it sure seems whatever the verbiage used, that many adoptees are merely consolation prizes the adopting parents finally settled for. And I see the risk of adoptees being merely consolation prizes growing, not diminishing. Read the rest of this entry »
I want to talk about the impact for the one adopted to be subjected to the never-ending promotion of adoption in the media, the message it sends to their friends, families, professionals and even co-workers. It’s nigh impossible to avoid, regardless of how much you try to tune it out. Read the rest of this entry »
Yesterday we had a beautiful sunny afternoon which allowed me the pleasure of pulling weeds for a bit. It felt good, wish I could do more. This morning it’s rainy, and as I type this, I’m listening to old tunes that take me back to both the good times and the hard times in my life. I remember times when only tuning out everything else and cranking the volume up high and listening to music could get me through the day. Read the rest of this entry »
Seems like I’m always writing posts to adopting and adoptive parents, and yet, and here I am again on the same quest. It’s a new day and new try in finding the words you may be able to hear and understand the disconnect I see everywhere I look between adoptive parents and adoptees. Read the rest of this entry »
I got myself twisted into knots this week. Why I allowed myself to be triggered probably comes down to the fact I’ve been on a strict no-stress diet for what seems like forever. Positive Adoption Language or PAL was the cause of my lapse of living stress free. First, for those reading, I don’t take issue with all the language listed, but my word, some (or most) of the “rules” about adoptees needs to change, and the change needs to led by adoptees; adoptive parents, birth parents, adoption professionals can weigh in, but it’s ultimately the adoptees who should decide the language used about them. Read the rest of this entry »
Sipping coffee my pre-dawn musings were reflecting on what informs us of who a person truly is deep inside. That set off a cascade of ruminations which culminated with a distinctly unsettled feeling about the adoptees growing up in what passes as an open adoption these days. Read the rest of this entry »