Daily contradictions in a life filled with complicated realities. Painful memories have been triggered by the news that push to intrude into my mind instead of staying firmly in the past. Simple welcome memories that pop into my head that bring me joy in the middle of a mundane task in one moment, to fear of what lies ahead, to sheer awe at what someone did, sometimes even for me. Days when I’m caught unaware by a rush of nostalgia that washes over me sparked by a simple object or picture that caught my eye, quickly dampened by the collision of other memories and knowledge of that time intruding to remind me that life really wasn’t that simple, or good. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adoptee
There is no one single story of adoption. What there is, is a powerful collection of many stories from the ones adopted, each unique, each their own, that together weaves a portrait of what adoption is, and specifically, what it isn’t. Each story powerful in not just what is written, but in what was left unsaid, listen to what isn’t said.
This story is one that I hope you will read, it touched me deeply. Read the rest of this entry »
I woke this morning and the clock told me it was 4:36 am, about the time I usually get up. While I was waiting for my coffee to be ready, I stood at the sink and looked out the kitchen window into the darkness filled with shadows that I know are the massive trees in my neighborhood, highlighted by the warm glow from the street lights. It’s beautiful and peaceful and I don’t like sleeping in and missing this time of day, nor later watching as the day begins to dawn, and later still watching the fog roll in. Read the rest of this entry »
The other day an Adoptive Parent left a comment on a post detailing that I had enormous problems bonding with my adoptive parents and how I demonize adoption as the source of all my pain and woes. Say what? Funny thing happened though, it didn’t upset me like it would have in the past, whether that’s because it’s become old hat, or because I’ve come to the conclusion that most folks can’t separate “adoption” from “being adopted” from “family” from “feelings” and get upset that I don’t use “disclaimers”, which I believe may have been part of the reason the comment was left. Read the rest of this entry »
First off, thank you all for reading the guest post by Tiffany, the shares and number of visitors tell me how much everyone appreciated the story told, the comments were also appreciated and the conversation good. If you missed it, read it here. My hope is that Tiffany will write other posts here as well.
This last week I’ve filled in gaps in Dad’s family tree by researching the siblings lines of dad’s direct line ancestors, there’s plenty when you go back 400 years and I’ve been hit or miss in this area because they all seem to have had 10+ kids, who then had 10+ kids. Having said that, until now, I thought us kids were the only adopted ones in the family, but it turns out there was another adoptee. Read the rest of this entry »
Thankful that Thanksgiving is done, now to just get through Christmas and New Years. And yes, that all sounds like I’m nothing more than a Grinch singing Bah-Humbug. Read the rest of this entry »
Some, perhaps even many adoptees grumble about hopeful and adoptive parents grabbing onto the latest happy domestic infant adoption story, sharing it widely, making sappy comments, and I know for me, it always triggers an immediate reaction that starts with ugh. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m thankful for having parents who stood up and said no this is wrong when they saw it. I’m not saying they were perfect, they were strong in what they believed in, strong in speaking their minds. They taught us that it was good to stand up for what is right and push back when you saw something wrong. I wish I was as strong as they were, I’m not, and I’m not thankful for that lack of strength, moral character, clarity that made them who they were, but I try to speak up when I see something I find egregious happening in adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
When I first came online there was only a handful of sites where you could reach out and find information on how to search for your birth family. There were members on those sites that would guide you to adoption registries, explain how to get your non-identifying information from the agency or state, or if you were lucky, you were born in one of the handful of states you could order your original birth certificate (OBC). I knew nothing about the Adoptee Rights fight to get our rights back. I didn’t even know I could get my non-id information, nor that I even had an original birth certificate somewhere. I’ve learned a lot since then about clean vs. compromise Adoptee Rights legislation. Lately, two things have become exceedingly clear to me: Read the rest of this entry »
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I ran across this quote and others by Stephen Chbosky and they spoke to me about adoption feelings, despite not having anything to do with adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m compiling a list of books I want to try to read this winter.
Review: Ghost of Sangju: A Memoir of Reconciliation from Harlow’s Monkey back in 2015 Read the rest of this entry »
One of the never-ending conversations adoptive parents have is when the child’s mother of birth cancels, or just doesn’t show for an arranged get-together, despite having promised to be there. I can’t say with any certainty, but I do wonder if it’s more the overwhelming feelings that keeps them from keeping the commitment. Read the rest of this entry »