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Tag Archives: adoptee

What the first mom study said to me

I didn’t have time to delve deeply into the first mom study in my last post.  Today I want to talk about what it said to me, but before that, I want to reiterate some of my feelings on first moms and domestic infant adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on June 14, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I read a study on first moms that sparked this question…

If an adoptee offers anything online that could be considered less than positive about adoption there is a common reactionary statement that goes something like this: Most happy adoptees are out living their lives and aren’t on adoption forums (often littered with I’m sorry you had a bad experience, bitter, ungrateful, the I know an adoptee,  etc.).  I haven’t met an adoptee online who hasn’t had that said to them at least once, if not multiple times.

The same is offered to first moms online – different but similar to what is offered to an adoptee. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Being adopted and finding your community

I’m thrilled to see so many adoptees talking on facebook and twitter, every year there are more and more finding their voices.  Adoptees demanding space in adoption.  Demanding to be heard instead of silenced.  Not taking being told to sit down and be quiet from people who came into the world of adoption as adults, instead finding their community and voice, it all bodes well for the future of adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 2, 2018 in Adoption

 

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When the one adopted is stuck in the middle

I’m in a few adoption groups on facebook, closed groups.  Groups that lean-to opposite sides of adoption, i.e. adoptive parent heavy or first parent heavy.  The message promoted in each group is often weighted on based on the predominant voices in the group.  I hear a very different message presented in each, two sides of the same coin where the scales tip to the side of the prominent voices in the group. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Words…

Still pondering the rhetoric and sayings commonly used in adoption that sparked a memory of a conversation a while ago.  It started something like this: Adoption proponent asked adoptees on an adoption forum if they were proud to be adopted.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2018 in Adoption

 

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You must have options to choose from to be a choice

We make choices everyday throughout our lives, big or small, knowingly or not.  There are also times a conscious choice is made because you believe it is the right choice to make, a moral choice.  Sometimes there isn’t a choice to be made though it’s just something we wouldn’t ever consider doing.  Other times we don’t have any other option and then it really isn’t a choice. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2018 in Adoption

 

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I was silent over Mother’s Day

I couldn’t find any words over the last week to talk about Mother’s Day that could form a cohesive post, I tried, I failed.  Instead, I read old posts and it’s surprising how many reference mom and/or dad.  Then I found a post written in 2011 about what it means to be a family, I also read the comments including the following comment: Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Insecurity and adoption

First Mother Forum posted about the latest adoption letter to the Ethicist at the New York Times here.  I read both the letter from the adoptive mom and the response to her letter by the Ethicist, but what I really want to talk about is this… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 7, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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How much does ‘fit’ have to do with the adoptee experience

I read an article on the results of a study on friends and what I call ‘fit’ and want to talk about how it relates to being adopted and how we experienced being adopted.  I am not saying fit is all there is, it isn’t, I’m saying I think it is a big component in adoption for the adoptee.  I have two life-long friends where there is no work required to maintain the relationship, whether a day or several years pass without talking, we just fit effortlessly and it’s always like we talked yesterday.  I had that same fit with dad, less so with mom. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Two thoughts intersected this morning…

Reading a post on naming your child (adoption) and one commenter shared she has two close adopted relatives who weren’t named at birth.  A second commenter brought up that the mother of their child named her child, but somehow, the original birth certificate only said Baby Girl Surname.  The response by the first commenter was that maybe mistakes happened, but neither of her adopted relatives wanted to know anything about their birth families.

The above conversation collided with the article I read after…

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 27, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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For Prospective/Hopeful Adoptive Parents

You may have been told to put yourself out there, pass along your adoption profile, get friends and family to pass on the message that you want to adopt.  This has been a standard for a long time

You may have also been told to reach out to expectant mothers, especially those who have joined an adoption group on FB or an adoption forum seeing support.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 23, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Microaggressions and Adoptees

The first time I heard about microagressions in adoption was from ABM on Adoptive Black Mom, this post specifically.  Yesterday, I was skimming through an annual report by Rudd that talked about a study on microaggressions and adoptees.   Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 19, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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