Tag Archives: adoptee

Adoption Then and Now

I stumbled on this paper and became curious, so I read it. It’s good, it starts at the beginning of adoption in the US circa 1850 and travels through the different periods of adoption history. It’s a must read, grab a beverage of choice and settle down to move through the many eras adoption has evolved through, while also keeping you up to date with what society was at that point in history.

It’s worth your time to stroll down the path adoption in the US has taken since the 1850’s.

David R. Papke, Pondering Past Purposes: A Critical History of American Adoption Law, 102 W. Va. L. Rev.
(1999). Available at:

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Posted by on February 4, 2023 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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From 2016: My Story…

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Posted by on January 31, 2023 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


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Ancestry and so much more…

I was going to do a post on Identity, but then, I stumbled on the story below that is more fascinating than anything I’d have to say.

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Posted by on January 20, 2023 in Adoption, Ethics


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Lately, I’ve felt that there really isn’t a point of trying to make adoption more ethical, or rare. Nor of making people think about the adoptee experience – both growing up, and living a life filled with blank spaces. Blank spaces that can never be filled, questions that will always remain unanswered.

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Posted by on January 13, 2023 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Happy New Year!

I don’t believe I’ve ever done NY Resolutions, although with my creaky old brain, who knows. The two of us did have a lovely Christmas and New Years, one worth repeating. For Christmas Dinner husband had a Pot Roast with all the trimmings. I had the potatoes, vegies, Yorkshire pudding and gravy from the Pot Roast, then we consumed far too many chocolates.

New Years Eve we splurged and picked up Chinese Food, something we usually did every year, but haven’t done since the pandemic started and it was so good, and now I’ve done it once, I’ll probably do take-out again.

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Posted by on January 11, 2023 in Adoption, Uncategorized


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Another Adoption Service Provider seems to not know Adoption History.

“Once upon a time–we’re talking about the years up to the early ’80s-–secrecy and lies was the name of the game in adoption.”

“This is how it worked: Expectant parents who had “out-of-wedlock” babies were forced to give them away and then told to go on with their lives without knowing what became of their children.”

“Adoptive parents were expected to raise the children “as their own” without ever mentioning where they came from. And the children themselves had no idea about anything until the truth would accidentally slip out. Sometimes it would come directly from the adoption record. Other times it would come out as part of their parents’ deathbed confession.”

Finally, they would have answers to the questions that gnawed at them their entire lives:”

  • “Why don’t I look like my parents?”
  • “Why am I so different from the rest of my family?”
  • “Why are my parents so uncomfortable about talking about my birth?”

The above is from an Adoption Service Provider…America Adopts

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Posted by on January 1, 2023 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


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The Year 2022 is almost done and 2023 almost here.

We had the Christmas we wanted, very quiet just the two of us plus the two cats. We also didn’t decorate because of the two cats. Tonight we are going to order Chinese food and pick it up, same thing we used to do before the pandemic happened for New Years. We’d do it to get me out of my memories that come to the forefront at this time of year, it has always worked well to have a change of pace.

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Posted by on December 31, 2022 in Adoption, Ethics, Uncategorized


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Right to end your adoption?

Adoptive Parents have the right to annual the adoption, so why don’t Adult Adoptees have the same right?

Gregory Luce @adopteerights is the author of the article below that made me start musing on the subject:

Adoptee Rights And Adoption Annulment

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Posted by on December 17, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


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Secrets Part Two

Most who have been here for awhile know CB, she made a comment on the post Secrets. A comment that expands on different comments made on the WAPO article that I wrote about in the above post, and one in particular from an AP. (that was hard to explain without me ending up confused.) Anyway…

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Posted by on December 2, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Christine McVie of Fleetwood Mac passed away yesterday, another great from the era of Rock & Roll. Memories were instantly evoked of long gone yesterdays. Days when I was struggling so hard with all those adoption feelings that were never spoken aloud, the angst felt, the anger of what was and the feelings of abandonment so strong. The drives I went on after getting off work at night, just driving with the tunes cranked and the windows down helped kept me alive.

I still have those feelings of abandonment at times and expect I always will.

I still have trust issues when it’s personal.

I still doubt I’m worthy of being loved.

Adoption has it’s place but it should be exceedingly rare, and only when every other option has been fully explored, because the price paid over a lifetime is too high.

Rest in Peace Christine McVie.


Posted by on December 1, 2022 in Adoption


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Every once in a while I read the advice columns on Washington Post or in the New York Times. Today, I’m doing laundry so I went and scrolled through the columns and found this one in WAPO Ask Amy.

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Posted by on November 27, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Loved this article by an adoptee

“Here we go again.

Those four words pop into my mind every November, like an annual calendar reminder set to go off with a cartoon “boing.”

November is National Adoption Month, and as an adopted person you might think we’re all a bundle of anticipatory excitement, planning the kegger and booking the cover band.”

Mardi Link: Happy National Adoption Month


Posted by on November 22, 2022 in Adoption


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