For the last three days I keep going back to a post on AFC but couldn’t find the words, so I’m bringing it here to talk about. It’s a post by a Former Foster Youth (FFY) that is in no way problematic and, was meant to help foster parents and foster adoptive parents understand what may be in the child’s mind. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adoptee
Two posts I’ve read recently that may be good to discuss, mull on, agree or disagree. And a third post I go back to time after time, it seems to give good advice for many situations in adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
The question I keep asking myself is how to get some adoptive parents to step outside of their bubble of ‘how beautiful adoption is’ long enough to see the full picture of what adoption can be like for the one adopted over the course of their life. From the parent who said that their 2.5 year old won’t have a “primal wound” because they are just so filled with joy, to the parent of a tween who hears only what they want to hear from their child, never stopping to ask themselves if they pre-conditioned their child to only tell them what they want to hear, or that what they say can be part of how they feel, not all of what they feel. Read the rest of this entry »
I left a comment on THE ETHICIST post What if I Don’t Want to See the Child I Gave Up for Adoption? I seldom respond in comment sections as I don’t have the luxury of time to walk away, return, re-read and see obvious errors (not that I ever see them all) – but I strongly disagreed with the response given and left the following comment in response. Read the rest of this entry »
I can, so, relate to this Twitter post and thread, make sure you read the comments. Read the rest of this entry »
If you know me well, the title tells you this is a post where I’m going to vent a little, blow off steam that’s been percolating for nigh onto a week. Read the rest of this entry »
Daily contradictions in a life filled with complicated realities. Painful memories have been triggered by the news that push to intrude into my mind instead of staying firmly in the past. Simple welcome memories that pop into my head that bring me joy in the middle of a mundane task in one moment, to fear of what lies ahead, to sheer awe at what someone did, sometimes even for me. Days when I’m caught unaware by a rush of nostalgia that washes over me sparked by a simple object or picture that caught my eye, quickly dampened by the collision of other memories and knowledge of that time intruding to remind me that life really wasn’t that simple, or good. Read the rest of this entry »
There is no one single story of adoption. What there is, is a powerful collection of many stories from the ones adopted, each unique, each their own, that together weaves a portrait of what adoption is, and specifically, what it isn’t. Each story powerful in not just what is written, but in what was left unsaid, listen to what isn’t said.
This story is one that I hope you will read, it touched me deeply. Read the rest of this entry »
I woke this morning and the clock told me it was 4:36 am, about the time I usually get up. While I was waiting for my coffee to be ready, I stood at the sink and looked out the kitchen window into the darkness filled with shadows that I know are the massive trees in my neighborhood, highlighted by the warm glow from the street lights. It’s beautiful and peaceful and I don’t like sleeping in and missing this time of day, nor later watching as the day begins to dawn, and later still watching the fog roll in. Read the rest of this entry »
The other day an Adoptive Parent left a comment on a post detailing that I had enormous problems bonding with my adoptive parents and how I demonize adoption as the source of all my pain and woes. Say what? Funny thing happened though, it didn’t upset me like it would have in the past, whether that’s because it’s become old hat, or because I’ve come to the conclusion that most folks can’t separate “adoption” from “being adopted” from “family” from “feelings” and get upset that I don’t use “disclaimers”, which I believe may have been part of the reason the comment was left. Read the rest of this entry »
First off, thank you all for reading the guest post by Tiffany, the shares and number of visitors tell me how much everyone appreciated the story told, the comments were also appreciated and the conversation good. If you missed it, read it here. My hope is that Tiffany will write other posts here as well.
This last week I’ve filled in gaps in Dad’s family tree by researching the siblings lines of dad’s direct line ancestors, there’s plenty when you go back 400 years and I’ve been hit or miss in this area because they all seem to have had 10+ kids, who then had 10+ kids. Having said that, until now, I thought us kids were the only adopted ones in the family, but it turns out there was another adoptee. Read the rest of this entry »