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Tag Archives: adoptee

Both/And vs. Either/Or

It’s a rare adoptee who would fit into the Either/Or category people like to paint us as, instead try seeing us as Both/And. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on October 21, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Processing adoption over the years – input requested

The intent of this post is similar to this post Looking for adoptee input on searching as the response was amazing and I thank each one of you who took the time to contribute. This time, it’s to offer a space for any adoptees who wish to describe the different times in their lives when they processed being adopted and how their feelings and views changed. What life events that triggered reflection, changes based on life stages/ages, understanding of adoption practices, or… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Words, obscure words…

I follow Merriam-Webster on twitter, it’s pretty funny and educational at the same time.  Today is Noah Webster’s birthday and they’re celebrating by offering up obscure words in exchange for likes. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 16, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Triggers

I’d be interested in hearing from other adoptees what triggers a reminder you’re adopted, or triggers deeper reflections of being adopted.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Reunion doesn’t make it all better

Before I reunited with my maternal family of birth – I loved every reunion story I read, watched. Now these many years later I’m more likely than not to pass them by because of the emotions that bubble up inside of me, that normally, sit just under the surface. Emotions that run the gamut of happy they finally met, to sad for all those years missed, years when they should have built a lifetime of memories to sustain them throughout life. Anger at all the reasons why because of adoption that they don’t have those memories. Emotions from my lived reality. And often, a healthy dose of disdain (not the right word) for the reactions of adoptive and birth parents of being happy for them, because they can never, ever, understand how little reuniting fixes anything unless they too, have lived it.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2018 in Adoption

 

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The well-adjusted adoptee…

The other day a conversation took place between an adoptive parent and adoptee, things got somewhat heated. Days later it’s still bothering me and it took me a while to figure out why that was.
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Posted by on October 3, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Do you really need to share your adoption story to all?

Dear people adopting or even have already adopted – I watched one of the thousands of adoption video’s this morning. This is how I feel after watching it. Please listen to my words and consider them.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 20, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Oversharing

We’ve been watching AGT for the last few years, can’t say I’m particularly a fan, but I don’t mind it most of the time. Except for the sob stories used to garner votes. I don’t mind hearing their back story of how they got to where they are, I just don’t want to hear a blatant pull-on-your-heart-strings sob story.
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Posted by on September 12, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Grumpy rant

I’m old and most days can easily become grumpy at the drop of a hat. That happened yesterday on a comment thread on NYT’s FB post of an article. My grumpiness wasn’t over the article, it was good, it was because the PAL crowd got terribly upset in a how dare you way and we demand you fix it, and fix it now (which the NYT did)

Their issue in the headline: Given up for adoption…  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Can we stop being so shallow in the adoption community?

I’ve tried every which way to help people, specifically adoptive parents in the adoption community to move on from labelling an adoptee as having either a positive or negative adoption experience. I’ve failed in all previous attempts and I don’t like admitting defeat, so here’s one more try…
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Posted by on August 12, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Looking for adoptee input on searching

I’m looking for adoptees willing to weigh in on:

  1. reasons why you could and did tell your parents you were searching for your family of birth.
  2. reasons why you couldn’t and wouldn’t tell your parents you were searching for your family of birth.
  3. reasons why you chose not to search until your parents passed.
  4. reasons why you chose not to search.
  5. reason why you searched
  6. reason I haven’t listed

And if you could refer to all numbers that corresponds to what you did that’d be helpful so I don’t assume incorrectly.  Also, if you care to share, about what age you started to actively search. Feel free to wander farther afield than the above choices if you’d like, you have the floor.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on August 9, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Is it really that hard to accept that your child has another family?

 

Dear people who adopt, want to adopt,

Your child’s “birthmom’s” mom is your child’s grandma, not “birthmom’s” mom (well, she is that too). I get that you may desperately want to be your child’s only family, but that isn’t how it works when you adopt (and you know me well enough to know my answer is if you can’t accept that and haven’t adopted yet, then don’t adopt). Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 3, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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