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Tag Archives: loss

Dealing with loss

Everyone will be challenged by losses in their lifetime, some more than others.  How we cope, adjust, is uniquely based on our personality, learned coping skills, lived experiences, and our support system.  I’m ever thankful for the many adoptee communities that abound today, they are making a difference for many who were alone, who wondered if it was just them that felt that way, or couldn’t figure out why they reacted to things differently.  Adoptees finding their communities is beautiful to behold.  What is still lacking is an understanding from some (perhaps even many) in the other two sectors in adoption, as well as adoption professionals, even if it is better, it is not good enough, and in some ways deeply lacking. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I don’t have an answer, I don’t think there is one.

I’ve struggled lately to put one cohesive theme into a post, anything more than a paragraph just isn’t working, I get off-track like I’ve done in this post, because, somehow, they are all inter-connected.  And, I’ve come to the conclusion that even in my writing, I’m struggling with that old familiar feeling that waits in the shadow to pounce in a moment of weakness, or when you let your guard down for a minute, fear.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2017 in Adoption

 

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Worth the time…

Talking Adoption, Identity and Independence with Darryl McDaniels, DMC of RUN DMC by April Dinwoodie

Covers so much…let it sink in…

 
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Posted by on July 2, 2017 in Adoption

 

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Knowledge gained and knowledge lost

I worked on one of my family trees yesterday trying to figure out if I had the details for one generation right.  A generation I have no problem figuring out on my dad’s tree, but I’m stumped on whether I’m right on this tree, my tree, my family of birth. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 5, 2017 in Adoption

 

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Two different voices, two different subjects, both important.

Adoptive parents need to read to understand, hear what is being said, educate themselves on the hard…

It’s all inter-connected, being adopted adds additional layers…

Adoption, Sex, And The Pursuit Of Love: Why Adoptive Parents Need To Talk To Their Kids About Sex

We must be able to talk about suicide and adoption, being adopted, I know of three that happened this month…

Today I went to a Funeral

There’s more to being adopted than rainbows and sunshine, pretending otherwise does a disservice to adoptees.

 

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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This schooling adoptees is getting really old

Argh, another article.  Today, my role as Adoptive Mom is to school all you adoptees about what really happens when you reunite, despite not having reunited myself because I’m not adopted.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 8, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Betwixt And Between

Definition of Betwixt And Between

1:  in a midway position :  neither one thing nor the other

That’s often how I feel being adopted, now more than ever before. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 5, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Wanting to adopt a child in need

I can’t tell you how many posts and articles I’ve read over the years talking about adopting because all children need families.  That adoption has always been part of the plan, or has been laid on their hearts.  That giving a home to a child in need is what they’ve always wanted to do since they were young, and that adopting now is the plan seeing as your quest to have one of your own didn’t work. (fair warning this isn’t warm and fuzzy) Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 31, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Wondering if anyone is like me…

I’ve wanted to write about this for a long time.  I’ve danced around it, alluded to it, but haven’t been able to talk about it directly.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2017 in Adoption

 

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How words of advice can make you miss what is right in front of you

When an adopted child is misbehaving or acting out and the parents ask other adoptive parents why, they are often told that biological children do this too.  I understand that they mean children who are raised in their biological families misbehave or act out too.  That whatever is happening is typical as the child moves through the different cognitive stages to test out boundaries and have shifts in emotions. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Old post, new day…

I wrote this five years ago.  I know this may not be the narrative of all, it is for some, perhaps many.  The price they paid is too high. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2017 in Adoption

 

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Finding a community

What has helped me most with my deepest feelings about not just being adopted, but the unintended consequences that have played out in my particular story?  A community of adoptees who share similar feelings, questions, loyalty conflicts.  For me, nothing I’ve done has helped more than feeling I’m not alone in this journey.  What made me realize this now?  Recently, I saw a clip on the need to talk about mental health challenges by Howie Mandel, how talking to others going through the same journey of mental health conditions helps you not feel alone or weird.  That got me thinking about how having someone to talk to who gets it, whatever the it is, that isn’t there to judge (you’ll see what I mean later) has helped so much, so, that’s what spurred this post because it made me think about all the different ways and different aspects of my life that have benefited from having a community.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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