Sipping coffee my pre-dawn musings were reflecting on what informs us of who a person truly is deep inside. That set off a cascade of ruminations which culminated with a distinctly unsettled feeling about the adoptees growing up in what passes as an open adoption these days. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: loss
The title being the default response by at least one person when any challenges and feelings an adoptee has faced, or is dealing with, is brought into a conversation. It is the response we expect and the non-adopted seldom let us down. This post is about a non-adoption conversation I had recently, hopefully it will be one that will allow non-adoptees to understand better and shift their requirements from adoptees making everyone else feel better, to accepting all facets of the adoptee experience as valid and real. Read the rest of this entry »
You know what? This isn’t cute. This isn’t funny. Read the rest of this entry »
Fair warning, swear words and pain included…
Trauma. We all have trauma at points throughout our life and there is nothing we can do to escape that, but I’m getting tired of having that visitor keep visiting, especially on the day I was born, a day meant to celebrate, a day that also happened recently. Another birthday that never fails to reminds me that I’m different, special in an ugly way of unworthy of even being acknowledged by some family members from both sides. Pain from the realty of what happened the day I was born, left, and all that has happened since that fateful day another bastard was born. Read the rest of this entry »
I just watched Three Identical Strangers. I’ve known about the study for years, talked about it on this blog. Reading vs. watching the film, there is no comparison in the sheer magnitude of emotions churning inside me right now versus reading about it in a series of dry words put on paper. This isn’t a review of the film. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve been thinking about what closure is for a long time. Can you actually close the door on your past, or event, and walk into your future unscathed? I can’t. Every single event in my life that touched me so deeply that one would seek closure for – has molded and shaped me into who I am today.
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I’ve posted this story elsewhere of sisters who were separated and adopted into different homes; the response was typical, shallow best describes the reaction and that’s the problem I see within the adoption community when it comes to the adoptee. Whatever the back story is for the one adopted, even if egregious, people in the adoption world typically only offer how lucky they were to find each other. Read the rest of this entry »
So, a meme posted on an open FB page about an adopted child is “touched” by the loss of their primary attachment so they aren’t lucky, sparks these two comments by two different adoptive parents. Read the rest of this entry »
I love how comments spur more thoughts, reflections, or a penny or two dropping (myself included). I’m talking about the comments in my last post, a post that started off more as a why vent than anything else, and then, naturally morphed into more. I’ve pulled a few snippets from the comments, and yes, context is lost with just a snippet from a larger thought, but you’re welcome to read the post and comments in full. Read the rest of this entry »
Yesterday, I googled the name of my father by birth to see if he was still alive. He isn’t, he passed not very long ago, his obit held information that helped me in his family tree which is most welcome, other than that, nothing has changed with his death, I didn’t know him, his choice from the start to the end. Read the rest of this entry »
An article was posted that had Tummy Mommy in the title, I knew I should avoid it, the title told me it would make me upset. I clicked anyway. Dumb, dumb idea.
I read it. I read it right to the bitter end. Read the rest of this entry »
I know I’m always talking about how you adopt matters, I’m hoping that today’s post offers you a chance to consider how the long-term impact your choices in adopting can play out and even be generational. Choosing the way to get that baby fastest, easiest, the shortest time post birth to relinquishment, or no revocation period, shouldn’t be what guides the choices you make, your ethics and morals should. Read the rest of this entry »