I’ve wanted to write about this for a long time. I’ve danced around it, alluded to it, but haven’t been able to talk about it directly. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: loss
When an adopted child is misbehaving or acting out and the parents ask other adoptive parents why, they are often told that biological children do this too. I understand that they mean children who are raised in their biological families misbehave or act out too. That whatever is happening is typical as the child moves through the different cognitive stages to test out boundaries and have shifts in emotions. Read the rest of this entry »
I wrote this five years ago. I know this may not be the narrative of all, it is for some, perhaps many. The price they paid is too high. Read the rest of this entry »
What has helped me most with my deepest feelings about not just being adopted, but the unintended consequences that have played out in my particular story? A community of adoptees who share similar feelings, questions, loyalty conflicts. For me, nothing I’ve done has helped more than feeling I’m not alone in this journey. What made me realize this now? Recently, I saw a clip on the need to talk about mental health challenges by Howie Mandel, how talking to others going through the same journey of mental health conditions helps you not feel alone or weird. That got me thinking about how having someone to talk to who gets it, whatever the it is, that isn’t there to judge (you’ll see what I mean later) has helped so much, so, that’s what spurred this post because it made me think about all the different ways and different aspects of my life that have benefited from having a community. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve listened to adoptees who say that they never experienced trauma or felt loss. That they don’t dwell on being adopted. That they love their families (adoptive) and don’t understand why other adoptees had such a bad experience. That many have known their family of birth for years, if not decades. That’s the shortened version of the divide between adoptees online, on the same websites, adoption websites to be specific. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve posted The Danger Of A Single Story by Chimanda Ngozi Adichie every year in November since I first posted it in 2010. Listening to her talk never gets old, rather, it seems, I get something new from it every time. Perhaps why it stays relevant is that it applies to so many different areas in life for different people. Perhaps, because it’s filled with wisdom that always has value, adds value every time you hear it.