AP’s need to be educated before they adopt.

Yesterday, my old post on “The Chosen Child” showed up in the stats, a post from way back in 2011, one that was a 5 video series from the 1960’s in NY on adoption and adopting that I’d found on YouTube. YouTube isn’t a place I go to except for music, but thought maybe there were videos worth sharing. So I went to look and landed on a page with a video by an Adoptive Mother about 5 Things She Didn’t Know About Adoption before she’d adopted that she wanted to share. She seemed pleasant enough, so I sat through her discussing the 5 things she’d wished she’d known before adopting. Below isn’t what she said, just my scribbled one-liners of each point she talked about. I’m not linking to it as it appears she’s written a book all about it, which seems to be the reason for the video…

 

From 2019 and 2021: I know an adoptee who is just fine being adopted….

Two posts, two years apart, similar and different, or both/and, both with the same title.

2019 post here

2021 post here

It’s odd I titled both posts the same, I don’t think I realized it until I decided to do this post, it’s also not odd because my brain glitches more than I like.

Cheers

 

Adoption Agencies Must Do Better Than This

I’m struggling writing this in anything close to a cohesive post so you have my apologies in advance and if I get anything wrong, I’ll fix it and apologize again. According to the article linked below, my reading is that adoption may be the best thing ever for a child because adoption agencies and a adoption law firm say as much when you only look at the quotes the author pulled from one of their articles on their website. And only one of the linked articles speaks to any of the challenges adoptees have to process, adjust to, and hopefully move through (or not), and that post I read in full came from a website called aptparenting.com. I read it because I’d never heard of them.

The rest of the quotes in the article linked below came from posts from Adoption Agencies and a Law Firm that also does adoptions. I have chosen to link to the posts the quotes come from, but not use the words quoted in the article.

And as you read the article linked below, notice that not a single Adoptee Voice was to be heard in an article about Adoptees.

 

From the archives…

Post from 2013 that was very personal for me to write, and one that I think is worth reposting now so people adopting today, and in the future, will try to walk in the shoes of the first family too. Also, read the comments on the post linked below, because they complete the picture I tried to paint.

 

Must Read Article and More

Adoptees who publicly support Roe targeted by anti-abortion activists: ‘What if you were aborted?’

Take the time to read the full article above and then we can talk about it. Personally, I’ve never met an adoptee who hasn’t been schooled on how grateful they should be to be adopted; how lucky they are because they could have been aborted, yada yada yada. You’d think by now that society would recognize the harm caused by growing up under that umbrella of should be dictates, and even as an adult, still being treated like children by random strangers once they know you’re adopted, or even worse, challenged by Adoptive Parents and wanna be Adoptive Parents…

 

1977 – Congressional Hearing

Apparently, babies were in short supply for people wanting to adopt post abortion becoming legal in 1973. Which, according to the testimony in the Congressional Hearing linked below brought on a new version of Black Market Adoption. I don’t have the time or energy to type up quotes other than the opening statement by Mr. Hyde, maybe I’ll do another post later. Link to the Congressional Hearing below.

 

Knowing it was coming didn’t make it easier.

Adoption is a man-made institution that was designed to ensure children aren’t left homeless and/or parentless. What it isn’t, is an institution that magically creates ever-lasting bonds between a child and parent, if it was, rehoming would not occur, dissolutions would not happen, all types of abuse (including the rare death) would never happen.

But all of those things do happen and so much more that isn’t talked about outside of adoptee circles.

 

My musings on what needs changing in adoption

The longer I’m around the adoption community, specifically, in domestic infant adoption, the more I see the need for so much change. Below are my views and ideas only. One of the most fundamental of changes I’ve come to agree could be better is federal regulation/laws for when an adoption happens vs state laws. I think it would be better than the hodge-podge mess of each state creating their own adoption laws. I thank Robyn for bringing that idea up on a regular basis and I do think she’s right. I also think with the pending decision from the Supreme Court on Roe v. Wade, that if it is ever going to happen, the sooner, the better.

 

No, We are fully human.

“WHAT ARE THE PROS AND CONS OF A CLOSED ADOPTION?”

“You have a lot to consider when deciding between a closed and open adoption. So, it’s important that you understand the pros and cons of choosing a closed adoption.”

“If you are leaning toward this type of adoption, here are some benefits that you may experience when working with closed adoption agencies.”

“A closed adoption may create more privacy in your life. The adoptive family and child will agree not to reach out to the prospective birth mother unless she allows it (and vice versa).” (bolding mine)

 

Adoption Needs A Makeover

It’s time for adoption to stop being a marketplace and to return to it’s roots where it was an option of last resort, but only after every other option had failed. And yes, I can see people get upset with the term marketplace, so lets talk about it, because, it is the reality today.

 

Fathers must have rights…

Supreme Court hears case of birth father seeking custody of boy adopted 3 years ago

“GRAND RAPIDS, MI – The attorney for a couple whose adopted 3-year-old son is at the center of a legal fight told state Supreme Court justices that the family is the only one he knows.

 

Reunion story and more…

Stumbled on a newspaper reunion article from 2018. The Adoptee was a Cole Baby adoption.