“Once upon a time–we’re talking about the years up to the early ’80s-–secrecy and lies was the name of the game in adoption.”
“This is how it worked: Expectant parents who had “out-of-wedlock” babies were forced to give them away and then told to go on with their lives without knowing what became of their children.”
“Adoptive parents were expected to raise the children “as their own” without ever mentioning where they came from. And the children themselves had no idea about anything until the truth would accidentally slip out. Sometimes it would come directly from the adoption record. Other times it would come out as part of their parents’ deathbed confession.”
“Finally, they would have answers to the questions that gnawed at them their entire lives:”
- “Why don’t I look like my parents?”
- “Why am I so different from the rest of my family?”
- “Why are my parents so uncomfortable about talking about my birth?”
The above is from an Adoption Service Provider…America Adopts
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Tags: adoptee, adoption, adoption impact, adoptive family, considering adoption, Ethics and morals, telling, truth
Also known as Odds and Ends on this side of the pond.
First Up: The other day I went on Ancestry to see if there was any new hints in my main trees; ended up deciding I’d finally try to do Mom’s tree again. I’d obviously forgotten why I’d given up doing that tree in-depth, and I soon realized the error of trying to do a tree based in England, that also included branches in the USA, Canada and Australia. Nonetheless, I decided it was now or never, also, I needed it done to show someone on ancestry they were wrong with who they listed as the Matriarch of mom’s family.
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Tags: adoption, adoption impact, Ethics and morals, loss, truth
Having a hard time making any of my thoughts translate to a post, so here’s yet another try.
Just heard a middle-aged adoptee who was asked to introduce himself, who, after stating his name included “I’m adopted and I hit the Jackpot.” He was speaking in a situation where being adopted (or not) had no bearing on anything, they just wanted his name for the record.
It was bizarre to say the least.
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Tags: adoptee, adoption, adoption impact, adoptive family, biological family, considering adoption, Ethics and morals, loss
Yesterday, my old post on “The Chosen Child” showed up in the stats, a post from way back in 2011, one that was a 5 video series from the 1960’s in NY on adoption and adopting that I’d found on YouTube. YouTube isn’t a place I go to except for music, but thought maybe there were videos worth sharing. So I went to look and landed on a page with a video by an Adoptive Mother about 5 Things She Didn’t Know About Adoption before she’d adopted that she wanted to share. She seemed pleasant enough, so I sat through her discussing the 5 things she’d wished she’d known before adopting. Below isn’t what she said, just my scribbled one-liners of each point she talked about. I’m not linking to it as it appears she’s written a book all about it, which seems to be the reason for the video…
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Tags: adoptee, adoption, adoption impact, adoptive family, biological family, considering adoption, Ethics and morals, loss, truth
Two posts, two years apart, similar and different, or both/and, both with the same title.
2019 post here
2021 post here
It’s odd I titled both posts the same, I don’t think I realized it until I decided to do this post, it’s also not odd because my brain glitches more than I like.
Cheers
Tags: adoptee, adoption, adoption impact, adoptive family, biological family, considering adoption, Ethics and morals, loss, truth
I’m struggling writing this in anything close to a cohesive post so you have my apologies in advance and if I get anything wrong, I’ll fix it and apologize again. According to the article linked below, my reading is that adoption may be the best thing ever for a child because adoption agencies and a adoption law firm say as much when you only look at the quotes the author pulled from one of their articles on their website. And only one of the linked articles speaks to any of the challenges adoptees have to process, adjust to, and hopefully move through (or not), and that post I read in full came from a website called aptparenting.com. I read it because I’d never heard of them.
The rest of the quotes in the article linked below came from posts from Adoption Agencies and a Law Firm that also does adoptions. I have chosen to link to the posts the quotes come from, but not use the words quoted in the article.
And as you read the article linked below, notice that not a single Adoptee Voice was to be heard in an article about Adoptees.
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Tags: adoptee, adoption, Ethics and morals, Seven Core Issues
Post from 2013 that was very personal for me to write, and one that I think is worth reposting now so people adopting today, and in the future, will try to walk in the shoes of the first family too. Also, read the comments on the post linked below, because they complete the picture I tried to paint.
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Tags: adoptee, adoption, adoption impact, adoptive family, biological family, considering adoption, Ethics and morals, loss, truth
Adoptees who publicly support Roe targeted by anti-abortion activists: ‘What if you were aborted?’
Take the time to read the full article above and then we can talk about it. Personally, I’ve never met an adoptee who hasn’t been schooled on how grateful they should be to be adopted; how lucky they are because they could have been aborted, yada yada yada. You’d think by now that society would recognize the harm caused by growing up under that umbrella of should be dictates, and even as an adult, still being treated like children by random strangers once they know you’re adopted, or even worse, challenged by Adoptive Parents and wanna be Adoptive Parents…
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Tags: adoptee, adoption, adoption impact, adoptive family, biological family, Ethics and morals, loss