We make choices everyday throughout our lives, big or small, knowingly or not. There are also times a conscious choice is made because you believe it is the right choice to make, a moral choice. Sometimes there isn’t a choice to be made though it’s just something we wouldn’t ever consider doing. Other times we don’t have any other option and then it really isn’t a choice. Read the rest of this entry »
Platitudes, knee-jerk reactions followed by gas-lighting were topics on my Twitter-feed this morning, the latter two were words from MerriamWebster (follow them, they’re great). All three happen to be part of the landscape of adoption-land that each person faces happening to them at some point. Read the rest of this entry »
Since my last post I’ve spent time reading other voices from all sides of the aisle on what happened in Charlottesville, as well as the larger picture of race relations. I’ve tried hard to hear the underlying and competing views, but like must of us, our lived experiences feed into how we see anything, what side we find ourselves firmly planted on. Read the rest of this entry »
Mixed adoption conversations, whether it is another adoptee, a first mom or adoptive mom that bluntly asks, or hints at wanting to know if: a) you’re grateful, b) if you love your parents, c) if you’d choose to be adopted, d) who you consider to be your real parents. Now, most aren’t that blunt, but it seems like most want to know the answers to those questions. Almost as though, how you answer those questions / tell your story determines whether they will listen to what you have to say, or write you off, there is no middle of the road, it’s either/or, and it’s wrong. Read the rest of this entry »
Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good. Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know… Read the rest of this entry »
Last night I got stressed out by what occurred when an expectant mom made a post on an adoption page asking for information. What happened robbed me of sleep for several hours as I just kept thinking about it, this morning, it was the first thing on my mind and it’s still there now. So here I am trying hard to come up with a way to frame this that can be heard, needs to be heard, while the cynic in me is saying, those who need to hear and understand, aren’t going to read a post telling them they’re wrong. I still have to try. Read the rest of this entry »
It seems bringing up the E word in adoption is wrong, silencing, makes some want to runaway as fast as possible. I’d even say it’s close to a swear word to some in adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
I read a lot. I try to read voices from all sides of a subject but I don’t do the extremes, I just can’t go there. As I’ve watched the news over the last year, specifically politics, while dealing with all the emotions knowing mom was nearing the end of her life, and then, the everything that happens after someone passes, has allowed for lots of looking backwards. Read the rest of this entry »
What is the first thing that you think of when you hear the term: Outreach Read the rest of this entry »
My search was done via a Confidential Intermediary (also called a CI). That was never the way I had imagined my search going throughout the years, but I couldn’t physically search, nor was my brain competent enough to do it either. So, I was left with putting my search in the hands of strangers – not something I would have chosen before, but at the time, I felt I had no choice because it was important to share with them what happened to me, just in case, it could protect them. Read the rest of this entry »
This Day in History
