Judging crediblity and worth in adoption circles

Mixed adoption conversations, whether it is another adoptee, a first mom or adoptive mom that bluntly asks, or hints at wanting to know if: a) you’re grateful, b) if you love your parents, c) if you’d choose to be adopted, d) who you consider to be your real parents.  Now, most aren’t that blunt, but it seems like most want to know the answers to those questions.  Almost as though, how you answer those questions / tell your story determines whether they will listen to what you have to say, or write you off, there is no middle of the road, it’s either/or, and it’s wrong.

 

Archives 2015 – Dear pro-life would be adopter…

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there.  I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt.  I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her.  Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

 

When those wanting to adopt, forget that morals matter in how you adopt

Last night I got stressed out by what occurred when an expectant mom made a post on an adoption page asking for information.  What happened robbed me of sleep for several hours as I just kept thinking about it, this morning, it was the first thing on my mind and it’s still there now.  So here I am trying hard to come up with a way to frame this that can be heard, needs to be heard, while the cynic in me is saying, those who need to hear and understand, aren’t going to read a post telling them they’re wrong.  I still have to try.

 

The E word

It seems bringing up the E word in adoption is wrong, silencing, makes some want to runaway as fast as possible.  I’d even say it’s close to a swear word to some in adoption. 

 

Food for thought, if you still needed more…

I read a lot.  I try to read voices from all sides of a subject but I don’t do the extremes, I just can’t go there.  As I’ve watched the news over the last year, specifically politics, while dealing with all the emotions knowing mom was nearing the end of her life, and then, the everything that happens after someone passes, has allowed for lots of looking backwards.

 

Pop Quiz…

What is the first thing that you think of when you hear the term: Outreach

 

When did this become acceptable?

By TAO

I checked my email this morning and one of the emails had a link to a blog post.  If anyone wants to understand why some of us do not like how adoption is practiced today – this is a perfect example of why.

 

It’s time for change…

By TAO

My search was done via a Confidential Intermediary (also called a CI).  That was never the way I had imagined my search going throughout the years, but I couldn’t physically search, nor was my brain competent enough to do it either.  So, I was left with putting my search in the hands of strangers – not something I would have chosen before, but at the time, I felt I had no choice because it was important to share with them what happened to me, just in case, it could protect them.

 

Networking in adoption…

By TAO

I’m going to attempt this post to get people to dig deep and think seriously about this topic, and then consider speaking to your adoption service providers about it whether they are lawyers, agencies, facilitator, or whoever else I missed.  Gauge their reaction and ask yourself whether they are truly in it to help, or something else.

 

Finding common ground, it is possible…

By TAO

A comment was left here yesterday, that I declined to approve.  On the scale of some comments I have seen, it wasn’t the worst by any means.  It was though, derogatory to an entire segment of people in adoption, no exceptions, painting all with the same brush.  There is nothing to be gained by such comments except a further widening of the chasm between groups.  We can choose to come together, and agree to disagree on some points, and then, focus on points we do agree with…

 

If this is anything like reality…

By TAO

I’ve never seen the show “I’m Having Their Baby” and was looking for info about the comedy show “Mom” that apparently has an adoption theme…anyway, there was a clip from “I’m Having Their Baby” that intrigued me, so I went there…

 

Must read post…

By TAO

For all the Christians who should have acted better…especially those who say they are concerned for orphans and vulnerable children…

“A Response to World Vision Bullies” or “On the Backs of Children”