I’m back – did you miss me?

I’ve been unusually quiet lately because I’ve been trying to sort out the waves of feelings I’ve had over the moves by some states to install safe haven boxes; that seems to be the newest way to get babies for adoption now, it’s also a dream come true for some people wanting to adopt, no pesky birth parents to worry about, no open adoption, no updates, visits, fears about the child wanting their parents by birth over their adoptive parents.

 

Dear Adoption Agencies – Yes You!

Now is the time for those of you who pride yourself on being a Good Ethical Adoption Agency to stand up and say No, this isn’t how adoption should be practiced. To speak up loudly and often, not just once. To demand this is not anywhere close to how an ethical adoption is done the right way. My goodness, the adoption agency receiving the baby from the safe haven baby box doesn’t even need to report that they received a safe haven baby to the regulatory authority in Indiana. No one there to even give the mother a handout and phone numbers to call that they’d do at a Fire Station or Hospital, just put your baby in a box and walk away.

Damn and double damn.

 

Adoptee Rights Legislation 2023

Hoping for people in adoption and other allies to support Adoptee Rights Legislation this year, both for the International Adoptees who lack US citizenship through no fault of their own, and the bills put forward in State legislatures around the US. Typically what is asked is to add your voice to get legislation passed (or pulled).

Every voice matters, this year there is also a state specific Safe Haven Babies legislation added, and it’s important to pay attention to the that legislation (it isn’t good to put it kindly). I am by no means an expert so I’m asking you to read the following post on Safe Haven bill -> Indiana SB345: A Recipe for Corruption and lend your voice in support any requests from Adoptee Rights Law Center and Gregory D. Luce.

Follow Gregory on twitter https://twitter.com/adopteelaw to support any requests he makes to help move legislation.

My words aren’t working today, so will leave it at that. Thank you.

 

Novel worth reading: “Looking For Jane” by Heather Marshall

I read a review of the Novel “Looking For Jane” by Heather Marshall, a first time author I believe. It’s a book set in Ontario, Canada back when unwed parenthood just wasn’t done, abortion was illegal and girls were sent away to maternity homes. Very similar to the Baby Scoop Era in the US. Article from The Toronto Star here about what happened back before abortion was legal in Canada. Note there was also a “Sixties Scoop, where Indigenous children were removed from their reserves and families and placed into non-Indigenous homes” that is also in the link above but isn’t part of this book.

 

Another Adoption Service Provider seems to not know Adoption History.

“Once upon a time–we’re talking about the years up to the early ’80s-–secrecy and lies was the name of the game in adoption.”

“This is how it worked: Expectant parents who had “out-of-wedlock” babies were forced to give them away and then told to go on with their lives without knowing what became of their children.”

“Adoptive parents were expected to raise the children “as their own” without ever mentioning where they came from. And the children themselves had no idea about anything until the truth would accidentally slip out. Sometimes it would come directly from the adoption record. Other times it would come out as part of their parents’ deathbed confession.”

“Finally, they would have answers to the questions that gnawed at them their entire lives:”

• “Why don’t I look like my parents?”
• “Why am I so different from the rest of my family?”
• “Why are my parents so uncomfortable about talking about my birth?”

The above is from an Adoption Service Provider…America Adopts

 

The Year 2022 is almost done and 2023 almost here.

We had the Christmas we wanted, very quiet just the two of us plus the two cats. We also didn’t decorate because of the two cats. Tonight we are going to order Chinese food and pick it up, same thing we used to do before the pandemic happened for New Years. We’d do it to get me out of my memories that come to the forefront at this time of year, it has always worked well to have a change of pace.

 

Right to end your adoption?

Adoptive Parents have the right to annual the adoption, so why don’t Adult Adoptees have the same right?

Gregory Luce @adopteerights is the author of the article below that made me start musing on the subject:

Adoptee Rights And Adoption Annulment

 

Bits and Bobs

Also known as Odds and Ends on this side of the pond.

First Up: The other day I went on Ancestry to see if there was any new hints in my main trees; ended up deciding I’d finally try to do Mom’s tree again. I’d obviously forgotten why I’d given up doing that tree in-depth, and I soon realized the error of trying to do a tree based in England, that also included branches in the USA, Canada and Australia. Nonetheless, I decided it was now or never, also, I needed it done to show someone on ancestry they were wrong with who they listed as the Matriarch of mom’s family.

 

I’m still here

Having a hard time making any of my thoughts translate to a post, so here’s yet another try.

Just heard a middle-aged adoptee who was asked to introduce himself, who, after stating his name included “I’m adopted and I hit the Jackpot.” He was speaking in a situation where being adopted (or not) had no bearing on anything, they just wanted his name for the record.

It was bizarre to say the least.

 

In Adoption, Loss Never Truly Ends.

This morning I woke up to a tweet by @adopteerights.com

A tweet that chilled my soul.

A tweet that foretold the desire by some to make many more babies available for adoption.

 

AP’s need to be educated before they adopt.

Yesterday, my old post on “The Chosen Child” showed up in the stats, a post from way back in 2011, one that was a 5 video series from the 1960’s in NY on adoption and adopting that I’d found on YouTube. YouTube isn’t a place I go to except for music, but thought maybe there were videos worth sharing. So I went to look and landed on a page with a video by an Adoptive Mother about 5 Things She Didn’t Know About Adoption before she’d adopted that she wanted to share. She seemed pleasant enough, so I sat through her discussing the 5 things she’d wished she’d known before adopting. Below isn’t what she said, just my scribbled one-liners of each point she talked about. I’m not linking to it as it appears she’s written a book all about it, which seems to be the reason for the video…

 

From 2019 and 2021: I know an adoptee who is just fine being adopted….

Two posts, two years apart, similar and different, or both/and, both with the same title.

2019 post here

2021 post here

It’s odd I titled both posts the same, I don’t think I realized it until I decided to do this post, it’s also not odd because my brain glitches more than I like.

Cheers