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Tag Archives: adoption impact

Thoughts for Adoptive Parents to Mull On

What would you say if I said I wasn’t thankful I was adopted?

Would you say that I must have had a bad experience and you’re sorry?

Would you also tell me that you know other adoptees who are thankful they were adopted? That they love being adopted? That they are thankful they weren’t aborted? Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 20, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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#NAAM2020 – This Happened Four Years Ago

Four years ago Adam Crasper was deported back to South Korea. Mr. Crasper was adopted by US Citizens as a three year old from South Korea. Please watch the segment done on November 17th, 2016 telling his story on Seattle Station KIRO 7. Hear what happened to him.

You can lend your support in finally getting Citizenship for All Adoptees whose adoptive parents failed to get them naturalized before they turned 18. Please go to Citizenship For All Adoptees on FB.

 

 

 
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Posted by on November 18, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Being Honest as an Adoptee

Is there any way an adoptee can truly be fully honest to others about their deepest feelings about being adopted? To me, it doesn’t seem possible, at least for many of us who feel the weight of loyalty to protect one or both families over our truths. Or because we want to protect a fragile or new relationship with a member of our family by birth. It silences us. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just that many of us never will be able to, instead, we ignore our needs to give voice to the harder experiences and deep dark feelings we’ve been through – even in relatively anonymous spaces. Invisible strings seem to hold us back from telling our stories in-depth, a needed telling to finally find release and maybe even some peace. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 9, 2020 in Adoption

 

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What’s your favorite song?

Lori sent me on a never-ending quest to see if I could come up with a list of 5 songs I couldn’t live without in my life. It was the rabbit-hole that never ended; it was also good hitting all the old bands and singers and just listening to the music created in my youth, the music that stirs something deep inside of me.

Music was my saving grace during my teen years when I was struggling so very much with being adopted, doing things I now regret and often wonder how I made it through alive. I didn’t think I’d survive and sometimes I didn’t want to. Music got me through the angry, the hurt, and the pain most of all. Songs written during an era of deep unrest and upset.

That music has gotten me through every rough period of my life.

I gave up my quest to whittle down my favorite songs to a list of just 5 songs. I can’t because so many helped me survive those years and again later in my life each time when I needed them again. Listening to them again during everything going on right now has helped, a fragile time if there ever was one, while at the same time – one after the other pulled me back in time to all those feelings, and at times, it felt like I was watching a home movie in my mind. Damn. I came to the conclusion I can’t create a numerical list of all time favorites because each one is special and connected to memories. If I had to pick just one song to have, it would be Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. I can’t tell you why, but every time I hear even a few notes of the song, I am pulled in and everything else recedes.

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Dear pro-life would be adopter…from 2015

(Lots of online discussion on adopting due to the recent SC nominee so it seems timely to re-up this post and hopefully make some think)

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

She’s not ready to adopt…

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Musing on Adoption and More

When did it become okay to treat Adoptive Parents as the enemy? Yes, they benefit from how adoption is currently practiced and many of the practices are wrong anyway you look at it, but the question remains – when did it become okay to be nasty for the sake of being nasty?

Maybe I’m just too old to understand.

Maybe the other Adoptees are right and I’m wrong.

Maybe I’m right and they are the ones who can’t see that being nasty doesn’t work.

Maybe the world changed; people changed and shaming is the only way to change anything. If that is true then we are all in a heap of trouble with no way to move into a kinder, gentler world. I hope not. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Positive or Negative Stories in Adoption

I want to see a concerted shift in how the adoption community talks about adoptee stories, specifically, the labelling adoptee stories as positive or negative. Stay with me a minute while I explain. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 8, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Get Involved, It’s Important

Adoptees for Justice is asking for your help. They are asking you contact your congressman and ask them to support HR2731 before it expires. HR2731 will fix the gaps left after the passage of the CCA of 2000 once and for all. (CCA = Child Citizenship Act).

It’s important to get this fixed, International adoptee’s have been deported and will be deported back to the countries they were adopted from, despite having legally entered the US with the proper paperwork with their adoptive parents. For whatever reason their parents never ensured they were naturalized before they turned 18. It’s a huge problem, it needs fixed. So please consider following the links, learn about what needs to be done and how you can help.

Please help, read the twitter thread linked below, or you can just go to Adoptees For Justice to help.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on September 3, 2020 in Adoption

 

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The Name on the Original Birth Certificate

I’ve been thinking about naming and how it seems to be done today in DIA (Domestic Infant Adoption), and why one aspect bothers me, both personally and ethically. That is what has been bouncing around in my thoughts lately, so I thought I’d try to make sense in a post. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Adoption professionals

Once in a while I’ll check out adoption provider websites to see what’s changed; what’s new, what way the industry is trending towards. Agency / adoption provider websites used to spell things out on their websites detailing all the steps an expectant mother would need to know about. It was good. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I know the type of man he was.

Of all things, I’ve been sitting here staring at a picture of my father by birth I’d never seen before, and wondering, again, why he was such a coward. And why was he so callous that he couldn’t even take the time to answer a few questions and give me my family health history. I really wasn’t asking much, I didn’t ask to meet him, just to tell me his side of the story and give me my paternal family health history, and we could call it a day. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 27, 2020 in Adoption

 

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What adoption shouldn’t be.

Long-time adoption agencies and lawyers have been dealing with adoption for decades, nothing new there, except they now compete, co-exist with an ever expanding list of *new and improved* so-called adoption service providers who call themselves consultants, whose goal is to get you (a hopeful adoptive parent) a baby, and fast. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2020 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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