I’ve been unusually quiet lately because I’ve been trying to sort out the waves of feelings I’ve had over the moves by some states to install safe haven boxes; that seems to be the newest way to get babies for adoption now, it’s also a dream come true for some people wanting to adopt, no pesky birth parents to worry about, no open adoption, no updates, visits, fears about the child wanting their parents by birth over their adoptive parents.Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adoption impact
Canadian Reunion Story – 2021
Your typical story about boy meets girl, they date, she gets pregnant and they chose adoption for their son.
The difference than most is they did the adoption together, and the father also signed off on the relinquishment. They also stayed together, got married and had three more sons. To read the rest of their story, you’ll need to take the time to go read it at the link below.Read the rest of this entry »
Just A Product
I’m in a fairly angry phase right now about where adoption seems to be headed, and to me, it certainly isn’t headed in the direction to make things right or better for adoptees. I never thought I’d see the day where I seriously called myself a Product, but sadly, that day has come.Read the rest of this entry »
More Thoughts on The Baby Box Legislation
I can’t stop thinking about the safe haven baby box legislation in Indiana and how archaic and wrong-headed it seems to be. Wrong-headed that the state may not even know it has another citizen it is responsible for as babe’s guardian, as it’s optional whether or not to tell the state, or they can just contact an adoption agency when a baby is left in a safe haven box. When there is no documentation of the babe to even give to the state other than the baby was left in a safe haven box, let alone provide the merest bits of knowledge of where and who brought the babe into the world, they are just left with the fact they were left in a box to tell the child – it sure seems both archaic and dehumanizing at the same time.Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Adoption Agencies – Yes You!
Now is the time for those of you who pride yourself on being a Good Ethical Adoption Agency to stand up and say No, this isn’t how adoption should be practiced. To speak up loudly and often, not just once. To demand this is not anywhere close to how an ethical adoption is done the right way. My goodness, the adoption agency receiving the baby from the safe haven baby box doesn’t even need to report that they received a safe haven baby to the regulatory authority in Indiana. No one there to even give the mother a handout and phone numbers to call that they’d do at a Fire Station or Hospital, just put your baby in a box and walk away.
Damn and double damn.Read the rest of this entry »
From 2016: Physical and emotional scars…
The other day I stapled my finger, it caused a momentary sting, I noticed it was bleeding, put a band-aid on and went back to what I was doing. Until I sat down to write this post, I didn’t think of it because the wound was so minor I’d forgotten it in a matter of days. If I do it again, it may trigger a vague memory that I’ve done this before, then it will be gone.
Some wounds are so minor they just aren’t part of your conscious life, the above is an example that is vastly different from my next tale…Read the rest of this entry »
Novel worth reading: “Looking For Jane” by Heather Marshall
I read a review of the Novel “Looking For Jane” by Heather Marshall, a first time author I believe. It’s a book set in Ontario, Canada back when unwed parenthood just wasn’t done, abortion was illegal and girls were sent away to maternity homes. Very similar to the Baby Scoop Era in the US. Article from The Toronto Star here about what happened back before abortion was legal in Canada. Note there was also a “Sixties Scoop, where Indigenous children were removed from their reserves and families and placed into non-Indigenous homes” that is also in the link above but isn’t part of this book.Read the rest of this entry »
Adoption Then and Now
I stumbled on this paper and became curious, so I read it. It’s good, it starts at the beginning of adoption in the US circa 1850 and travels through the different periods of adoption history. It’s a must read, grab a beverage of choice and settle down to move through the many eras adoption has evolved through, while also keeping you up to date with what society was at that point in history.
It’s worth your time to stroll down the path adoption in the US has taken since the 1850’s.
David R. Papke, Pondering Past Purposes: A Critical History of American Adoption Law, 102 W. Va. L. Rev.
(1999). Available at: https://researchrepository.wvu.edu/wvlr/vol102/iss2/8
Lately, I’ve felt that there really isn’t a point of trying to make adoption more ethical, or rare. Nor of making people think about the adoptee experience – both growing up, and living a life filled with blank spaces. Blank spaces that can never be filled, questions that will always remain unanswered.Read the rest of this entry »
Another Adoption Service Provider seems to not know Adoption History.
“Once upon a time–we’re talking about the years up to the early ’80s-–secrecy and lies was the name of the game in adoption.”
“This is how it worked: Expectant parents who had “out-of-wedlock” babies were forced to give them away and then told to go on with their lives without knowing what became of their children.”
“Adoptive parents were expected to raise the children “as their own” without ever mentioning where they came from. And the children themselves had no idea about anything until the truth would accidentally slip out. Sometimes it would come directly from the adoption record. Other times it would come out as part of their parents’ deathbed confession.”
“Finally, they would have answers to the questions that gnawed at them their entire lives:”
- “Why don’t I look like my parents?”
- “Why am I so different from the rest of my family?”
- “Why are my parents so uncomfortable about talking about my birth?”
The above is from an Adoption Service Provider…America AdoptsRead the rest of this entry »
The Year 2022 is almost done and 2023 almost here.
We had the Christmas we wanted, very quiet just the two of us plus the two cats. We also didn’t decorate because of the two cats. Tonight we are going to order Chinese food and pick it up, same thing we used to do before the pandemic happened for New Years. We’d do it to get me out of my memories that come to the forefront at this time of year, it has always worked well to have a change of pace.Read the rest of this entry »