RSS

Tag Archives: adoption impact

Dear Expectant Moms considering adoption (aka Birthmothers)

I don’t know how many adoptees have found once they receive their Original Birth Certificate (OBC) that their mother didn’t name them.  I know there are many of us out there, hoping against hope our OBC will show we were named.  Instead, for many of us we are Baby Girl and our mother’s surname, Baby Boy, Unnamed Infant, whatever choice of words the officials decided to use at the time.  Each time I take part in (or read) conversations about that happening to yet another adoptee, I silently scream the following. Read the rest of this entry »

 
18 Comments

Posted by on August 8, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Dealing with loss

Everyone will be challenged by losses in their lifetime, some more than others.  How we cope, adjust, is uniquely based on our personality, learned coping skills, lived experiences, and our support system.  I’m ever thankful for the many adoptee communities that abound today, they are making a difference for many who were alone, who wondered if it was just them that felt that way, or couldn’t figure out why they reacted to things differently.  Adoptees finding their communities is beautiful to behold.  What is still lacking is an understanding from some (perhaps even many) in the other two sectors in adoption, as well as adoption professionals, even if it is better, it is not good enough, and in some ways deeply lacking. Read the rest of this entry »

 
7 Comments

Posted by on August 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Requesting adoptees help

I’m trying to explain the shifting feelings that happen over the course of a lifetime about being adopted.  Would you share how your feelings shifted and became more complex with time (if they did)?  I think it’s important for parents to understand how feelings and your emotions can change over time re your adoption, how maturity, understanding of the larger society impacts those feelings good or bad.  I just want them to realize that feelings about being adopted, the impact it has on you is not something static, more that it is fluid and ever-changing. Read the rest of this entry »

 
18 Comments

Posted by on August 3, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , ,

I don’t have an answer, I don’t think there is one.

I’ve struggled lately to put one cohesive theme into a post, anything more than a paragraph just isn’t working, I get off-track like I’ve done in this post, because, somehow, they are all inter-connected.  And, I’ve come to the conclusion that even in my writing, I’m struggling with that old familiar feeling that waits in the shadow to pounce in a moment of weakness, or when you let your guard down for a minute, fear.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
25 Comments

Posted by on July 23, 2017 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Judging crediblity and worth in adoption circles

Mixed adoption conversations, whether it is another adoptee, a first mom or adoptive mom that bluntly asks, or hints at wanting to know if: a) you’re grateful, b) if you love your parents, c) if you’d choose to be adopted, d) who you consider to be your real parents.  Now, most aren’t that blunt, but it seems like most want to know the answers to those questions.  Almost as though, how you answer those questions / tell your story determines whether they will listen to what you have to say, or write you off, there is no middle of the road, it’s either/or, and it’s wrong. Read the rest of this entry »

 
32 Comments

Posted by on July 16, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Archives 2015 – Dear pro-life would be adopter…

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there.  I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt.  I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her.  Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know… Read the rest of this entry »

 
8 Comments

Posted by on July 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Worth the time…

Talking Adoption, Identity and Independence with Darryl McDaniels, DMC of RUN DMC by April Dinwoodie

Covers so much…let it sink in…

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on July 2, 2017 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , ,

That whole Meant To Be thing…

From my understanding this may be part of someone’s faith and I’m not trying to disrespect that, but delve respectfully into how problematic that can be in adoption.  Nor am I trying to disrespect parents who feel that way down the road that their family was what their family was supposed to be, that seems different somehow. Read the rest of this entry »

 
29 Comments

Posted by on June 25, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Who knew she was adopted.

I often search for quotes on a topic, find one that resonates and then read about the person who said it.  It’s an interesting and enlightening way to learn about people.  This morning, I started with Origins, then Wisdom, then decided I’d try to find an Adoption quote that didn’t try to make adoption better than biological families, wasn’t wrapped up in destiny, wasn’t magical, pre-ordained, or mystical, just something you’d expect from a normal conversation from someone in adoption.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
5 Comments

Posted by on June 23, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Trying to get back on track and talk about what’s important…

I’ve had a hard time this year being able to focus on writing a post about any one subject, I can write snippets, but being able to shut off all the distractions in today’s world has often proven beyond my ability.  One thought that keeps repeating itself every time I see what’s happening in the world is “I’m glad mom and dad aren’t here to see what is happening”.  A thought I never imagined I’d ever have, let alone being willing to say out loud, but I am glad they aren’t here to see the bizarre, ugly, mean-spirited happenings in this world.  It’s ugly out there and I don’t know if it can be fixed.  Yet, the other day I reached out to you, and you responded that proved there are still good people willing to reach back.  Thank you my friends, those that commented, those that took the time to read, you ground me, all of you, you make sure I don’t feel alone in a world that has overnight become very foreign.  Now, enough of me blathering, lets talk about something else… Read the rest of this entry »

 
6 Comments

Posted by on June 2, 2017 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Two different voices, two different subjects, both important.

Adoptive parents need to read to understand, hear what is being said, educate themselves on the hard…

It’s all inter-connected, being adopted adds additional layers…

Adoption, Sex, And The Pursuit Of Love: Why Adoptive Parents Need To Talk To Their Kids About Sex

We must be able to talk about suicide and adoption, being adopted, I know of three that happened this month…

Today I went to a Funeral

There’s more to being adopted than rainbows and sunshine, pretending otherwise does a disservice to adoptees.

 

 
14 Comments

Posted by on May 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , ,

It’s That Day Again…

We didn’t do Mother’s Day per se, at least not like it’s done today. We’d say Happy Mother’s Day at the breakfast table while eating the breakfast mom cooked.  All Sunday breakfasts were special, we weren’t having oatmeal (or ‘mush’) and fruit for starters, like we had weekday mornings, and it was better than Saturday when we’d get non-sweetened cold cereal (that we saw as a weekly treat) and fruit.  Sunday’s, we’d have either pancakes or waffles (sometimes with hot blueberry sauce for syrup), or eggs and toast and fruit, sometimes even hot fruit on toast (you probably have no idea what that is, or how yummy that was). Read the rest of this entry »

 
12 Comments

Posted by on May 13, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , ,