Get out of your predominant adoptive parent only groups. Gingerly step into many different spaces with non-adoptive parent voices, sit on your hands instead of talking. Instead, just listen for a while, really listen when you’re the most uncomfortable, after a while you’ll start to hear what the underlying message is saying, some easier to hear than others. And when you go into spaces that make you uncomfortable, stop yourself each time you want to contradict in your mind (or in words) what you are hearing with protestations about how beautiful adoption is. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adoption impact
I’ve been pretty hard on the choices some adoptive parent have made lately and will be hard on them in the future. I’ve also held other adoptive parents up as doing it right and will do so in the future. What I won’t do is stay silent when I see something I feel is wrong that has the potential to harm adoptees; whether it’s a law, policy, a stupid meme or adoptive parents acting badly. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m not the first adoptee to speak up against adoptive parents oversharing their child’s adoption story, nor will I be the last. We routinely speak up on this issue and have for years. This is a Do Better subject dear to many of us. This is also a Respect Your Child subject we think you should care about. We have lived a lifetime of being adopted and know all too well the consequences for the one adopted, and by extension, all adoptees when adoptive parents overshare their child’s private stories. (do feel free to assume a #not-all-adoptees-feel-that-way.)
This post is courtesy of the latest rendition of oversharing an adoptee’s story on-line, the most recent adoptee video that’s gone viral. Read the rest of this entry »
On a post on WSBS FB page talking about the TLC show Taken At Birth series is this comment:
Yes just finished. Was such a crazy story! Goes to show how much education and knowledge around adoption has improved in the last 70 years but still a horrific story.
I’ve decided to add a new tag: Adoptive Parents say the darndest things. Read the rest of this entry »
When the name of the site is adoptees dot org – would you assume the posts on it would be authored by adoptees? I would. I’d expect it to be an adoptee-centric space with adoptee’s in charge, which would be great.
“Here at Adoptee.org, we answer questions regarding adoptee trauma, DNA testing, how to communicate with birth parents, how to find your birth parents, and anything else related to adoptees. We hope our site helps you.”
Spin-off and continuation of the last post “Family trees and whatnot…” because Beth’s comment left on the post both answers my questions, and then, spins the conversation further into the generational affect of adoption, plus so much more. Beth and I have been online friends for years, she’s funny and so much wiser than I’ll ever be. Below is Beth’s comment and tale I loved, she always tells the best stories. Read the rest of this entry »
This is likely going to be fairly muddled because I don’t like to publicly call people out by name, rather just talk about why I found something problematic. So there was a blog post recently by an adoption agency that ruffled feathers (pissed off) many in the adoption community, raising my hand as one of them. The outcome, I lost the respect I’d previously held for them. Read the rest of this entry »
Adoptive mother breastfeeding is a controversial subject both in adoptee circles and within wider adoption circles. When the topic is posed the response by adoptees is swift with most responses being a hard no. It’s a hard no for me too. This is my attempt at explaining this immediate and instinctual hard no from me, because I finally found the word that explained why. Read the rest of this entry »
You know a friend who has always loved being adopted, suffered no ill effects from being adopted, the one you always hold up as a positive adoptee with a good experience? Read the rest of this entry »
And if what I’m saying below doesn’t apply to you, your choices, your adoption, then it doesn’t apply to you and yours, no need for a #notall. And if you can’t tell from the title and opening statement; I’m right pissed off and deeply saddened and disappointed at the same time. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been an emotionally draining few weeks with all the new legislation being raced into law. It just seems so wrong, for so many reasons, reasons that will become excruciatingly real if any of the laws stand. There’s a reason doctors spoke up both pre and post Roe v. Wade, they witnessed the result when a woman could not obtain a safe, legal abortion and they had to try to save her life. But seeing as this is an adoption blog, that’s not the focus on this post. Read the rest of this entry »