Sunday morning read…


Everything you ever wanted to know about adoptees can be found in this one article.  Not really.  But it is the perfect article to show how:

  • why telling is a must (yes, some still don’t),
  • not knowing leaves a hole that gnaws at your soul,
  • that despite that hole – adoptees live lives just like you,
  • that the wanting to know, is often generational…
  • utterly ridiculous sealed records laws are, as if an 84-year-old doesn’t deserve the respect to know where he comes from, if he has family, and have answers to the mystery that has sat with him for well over half a century…

It’s a wonderful story to read over a cup of coffee…it really is: At long last, a family tree for Eugene adoptee


Posted by on April 26, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Question for many in the adoption community…


I’m sure we are all guilty of this to a certain extent, but is it really necessary to point out when an adoptee speaks – that not all adoptees are the same, think the same, have the same experience?

If you think it is necessary, then may I ask why?

Is it because you didn’t like that adoptee’s views on adoption, because it doesn’t match your view?

Is it some bias, or internalized belief you have about adoptees, that makes us different from you?  If yes, please, do explain how we are different.

Do you fear that other people listening, don’t have the level of intelligence that you have, to know that everyone is unique, and has their own feelings based on their lived experience?

Please tell me why you need to point that out in the comments every time an adoptee speaks…






Posted by on April 24, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Reunion stories and feelings of loss


An adoption reunion story generally creates comments that run the gamut…

  • so happy for you,
  • how sweet,
  • warnings about not liking what you find,
  • the grass isn’t always greener,
  • not all reunions work out.
  • how do your parents feel about you finding your birth parents,
  • don’t forget who your real parents are.

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Posted by on April 15, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Expectations of greater love…


Just read a blog post about how someone who isn’t adopted, but has always assumed, that if you are adopted – that the love you have for your adoptive parents is greater than the love that a non-adopted child would have for their mom and dad.  Reasons cited is that the child was chosen, money was paid, and sacrifices made.  I’m not linking to the post – but it was also a religious post musing about being adopted by God and comparing the two – which doesn’t work for me.

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Posted by on April 9, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Why I can’t celebrate adoption…


This post has brewed in my mind for a long time, and yet, still comes out choppy.  It’s the best I can do.  I’d imagine some adoptees will agree, others won’t.  I’d guess some parents by adoption (and even by birth) may disagree.  I’ve only written one post here on a new adoption, someone I knew personally – and even then, I chose my words carefully.

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Posted by on March 29, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Yet again – the belief that adoption was a secret way back when…


Seeing a post on titled “The New Wave of Adoptees” with a tag line of “Growing up in the age of openness.”  I clicked the link.

Written by the Adoptive Mother…pertinent snippets below…

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Posted by on March 28, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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