Realizing nothing changes


New school year, new rash of posts about the dreaded Family Tree assignments for adoptees (and all the variations of these types of assignments, genetics, etc.).  Questions about how they should be done, what to include, what not to include, the feelings of the children.  How to get the teacher to understand about adoption, what handouts should be given.  Not to mention the added impact on children who spent years in Foster Care, or were adopted from another country who will have noticeable gaps, or doing the assignment can make them seem different to their peers.

Every. Single. Year. This. Happens…

It’s frustrating to read the posts.  It’s even more frustrating to recognise that people are okay with this continuing to happen, not just for this generation, but the generations of adoptees yet to be.  It seems they are only worried about their own children getting through it, not fixing it.  Where is the sense of community that rallies when they want something changed in adoption?  Where is the push for this to change from the adoption professionals who lobby for easier laws to adopt, to cut a father’s rights, to shorten a mother’s time after birth before she can irrevocably sign away her rights, to get the adoption tax credit refundable, and more.  Why isn’t the adoptive parent community pushing their adoption agencies to lobby for state and national curriculum standards for these type of lessons that aren’t modelled after the two-parent biological family, rather inclusive of all types of families, including adoptive.

My question is why – if you all support adoption so much, believe adoption is so beautiful, then why can’t you rally together about something that seems like such a big deal for your adopted children every single year?  Have you ever written to your adoption agency, and asked what can be done to make school assignments more inclusive?  Have you asked them what they’ve done to make it better?


Posted by on October 1, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , ,

Did anyone stop and think of intent vs. impact on the one adopted?


The misguided #ShoutYourAdoption as a rebuttal to #ShoutYourAbortion on both Twitter and Facebook has brought out the angry in me, and deep disappointment too.  It doesn’t seem that anyone participating thought about the impact to the one adopted.  Did any say: Is this going to stereotype adoptees?  Is this damaging to them?  What is the impact on the adoptee?  Did intent vs. impact even enter their consciousness?  To me, it doesn’t seem that anyone participating thought of the potential impact on the child, only what it could do for them.

Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on September 26, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , , , ,

Dear pro-life would be adopter…


Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there.  I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt.  I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her.  Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know… Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on September 21, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , , , , ,

How did you feel…


I’m trying something new.  New is scary for me, but, it’s something I’ve thought of doing for a while on many different topics.  I decided to start with adoptee rights which means that there are two different questions for adoptees, and a third question for other voices.  Hopefully, hearing feelings of others may convince people to change their mind and support upcoming legislation.

Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on September 16, 2015 in Adoption


Tags: , , , , , ,

Apparently, I wasn’t happy…


Although I haven’t shared my adoption story here, and likely won’t ever, I have shared parts in other places, and perhaps even here that I wasn’t happy when I came home.  The reality was that for months on end, I screamed unless I was sleeping, or being rocked which helped in the moment, but one other action made me calm…

Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on September 12, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , , , ,

Shaking my head…


On a Facebook post asking if adoptees should have the right to their original birth certificate, the comments quickly devolved into the usual default opinions.  “Medical records should be available to the adopted person but birth parents deserve privacy” is the recurring sentiment reflected in many of the comments to this post on Facebook.  Those comments reflect ignorance of what medical records are, versus, what a family health history is.  It’s appalling that people do not understand the difference.

Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on September 11, 2015 in Adoption


Tags: , , , ,


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 444 other followers