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Tunes

Yesterday we had a beautiful sunny afternoon which allowed me the pleasure of pulling weeds for a bit. It felt good, wish I could do more. This morning it’s rainy, and as I type this, I’m listening to old tunes that take me back to both the good times and the hard times in my life. I remember times when only tuning out everything else and cranking the volume up high and listening to music could get me through the day. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on April 13, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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You won’t gain wisdom from yes or no questions

Seems like I’m always writing posts to adopting and adoptive parents, and yet, and here I am again on the same quest. It’s a new day and new try in finding the words you may be able to hear and understand the disconnect I see everywhere I look between adoptive parents and adoptees. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 10, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Birth Child Label

I got myself twisted into knots this week. Why I allowed myself to be triggered probably comes down to the fact I’ve been on a strict no-stress diet for what seems like forever. Positive Adoption Language or PAL was the cause of my lapse of living stress free. First, for those reading, I don’t take issue with all the language listed, but my word, some (or most) of the “rules” about adoptees needs to change, and the change needs to led by adoptees; adoptive parents, birth parents, adoption professionals can weigh in, but it’s ultimately the adoptees who should decide the language used about them. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Empty Spaces

Sipping coffee my pre-dawn musings were reflecting on what informs us of who a person truly is deep inside. That set off a cascade of ruminations which culminated with a distinctly unsettled feeling about the adoptees growing up in what passes as an open adoption these days. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2019 in Adoption

 

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I know an adoptee who is just fine being adopted….

The title being the default response by at least one person when any challenges and feelings an adoptee has faced, or is dealing with, is brought into a conversation. It is the response we expect and the non-adopted seldom let us down. This post is about a non-adoption conversation I had recently, hopefully it will be one that will allow non-adoptees to understand better and shift their requirements from adoptees making everyone else feel better, to accepting all facets of the adoptee experience as valid and real. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2019 in Adoption

 

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You need to respect the gravity of all that adoption is

You know what? This isn’t cute. This isn’t funny.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 12, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Hard birthday thoughts and feelings…

Fair warning, swear words and pain included…

Trauma. We all have trauma at points throughout our life and there is nothing we can do to escape that, but I’m getting tired of having that visitor keep visiting, especially on the day I was born, a day meant to celebrate, a day that also happened recently. Another birthday that never fails to reminds me that I’m different, special in an ugly way of unworthy of even being acknowledged by some family members from both sides. Pain from the realty of what happened the day I was born, left, and all that has happened since that fateful day another bastard was born. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Knowledge we all deserve

Snippet from a post written back in 2014 Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2019 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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Thoughts after watching Three Identical Strangers

I just watched Three Identical Strangers. I’ve known about the study for years, talked about it on this blog. Reading vs. watching the film, there is no comparison in the sheer magnitude of emotions churning inside me right now versus reading about it in a series of dry words put on paper. This isn’t a review of the film. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 28, 2019 in Adoption

 

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2014 Archive: Closure…is it what people think it is?

I’ve been thinking about what closure is for a long time. Can you actually close the door on your past, or event, and walk into your future unscathed? I can’t. Every single event in my life that touched me so deeply that one would seek closure for – has molded and shaped me into who I am today.
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Posted by on January 25, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Sisters separated

I’ve posted this story elsewhere of sisters who were separated and adopted into different homes; the response was typical, shallow best describes the reaction and that’s the problem I see within the adoption community when it comes to the adoptee. Whatever the back story is for the one adopted, even if egregious, people in the adoption world typically only offer how lucky they were to find each other. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Things haven’t changed since my era…

So, a meme posted on an open FB page about an adopted child is “touched” by the loss of their primary attachment so they aren’t lucky, sparks these two comments by two different adoptive parents. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 1, 2019 in Adoption

 

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