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Happy for New York Adoptees

Adoptees from New York now have the right to their original birth certificates; in the first 48 hours 3600 online applications were made. There’s an estimated 650,000 adoptees from New York per this article: New York Adoptees Rush to Request Birth Certificates, After Years of Blocked Access. Adoptee Rights Law has details on how the new law works: Updated Info on New York’s New Law

Congratulations to everyone who has fought to change the law in the last 40 odd years and to all adoptees from New York. Now the challenge is to get the changes made to the NY Law known by adoptees from NY, seems easy but there are still adoptees from states who have changed the law regarding their original birth certificate, who have no idea they can order theirs. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Loss in adoption

I’m thankful that more people involved in adoption have started recognising that there is loss with adoption and being adopted, how or when it affects the one adopted is individual, but loss there is. Yet, I’m also wary when I hear people acknowledge that, people who aren’t adopted but adopting can’t really understand what that loss truly is if they have only seen it, but haven’t lived it. It makes me worry that their acknowledgement will just become a trite expected thing to say, rather than any deep understanding what it is. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2020 in Adoption

 

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The New Year and Rambling Thoughts

Happy New Year my friends! Hoping you all had holidays that left you feeling happy and refreshed for the New Year filled with goals and dreams galore. I’m still shocked we are 20 years into the new century, seems like just the other day we went to bed wondering what would happen at midnight re computers and Y2K. Damn, somehow that makes me feel even older and more reflective than normal, if that’s possible, and reflective in a way that goes off in strange tangents. (you’ve been warned) Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Holidays and Rabbit Holes…

December and the holidays are a mixed bag for me. I have wonderful memories of Christmas past and present, traditions kept, the carols, love the carols and memories of going caroling as a child, the frozen fingers and toes and the hot chocolate after. December is also filled with deeply personal losses that haunt me every year, and some years, I fall down the rabbit hole of loss. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Open Holiday Thread

Holidays can be hard.

Holidays can be good.

Holidays can also be both hard and good at the same time.

Whatever your Holiday ends up being like you are welcome to drop a note of joy, be sad here, be on top of the world one minute and sad the next, or over-the-top happy and filled with joy.

We celebrate Christmas so I’m spending Christmas Eve listening to Christmas Carols and just being, then a quiet Christmas Day with just me and my man. We both crave solitude away from the hustle and bustle and commercialization that this holiday brings. We’ll spend time together and time doing our own things and then top it off with Christmas Dinner.

Share with each other in the comments, but please, be kind.

Be Safe.

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2019 in Adoption

 

From 2014: Good grief, this gets so tiring…

[2014] Earlier this week the Today Show included a segment on a daughter meeting her mother for the first time.  A daughter that resorted to using Facebook to try to find her by putting her personal information out on the internet (risky), but it paid off, and a reunion happened.  So what happens in the comments on the Today Facebook page after the segment aired?  (Be warned that I am using adoptive parents repeatedly throughout because that is what was used.)

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 22, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Would Both/And Allow for Honest Conversations in Adoption?

Both/And allows a person to be free to acknowledge and hold more than one truth even though it seems counterintuitive or contrary. In adoption I think it is a badly needed mindset to allow for more honesty and respect – both between the three groups and within each group.

Grab a coffee to go with the imaginary chocolate chip cookies pictured and read through the scenarios. Tell me which ones you agree with, which you don’t, whether it’s possible to move people in adoption in this direction. Cheers  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 17, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Hidden feelings

Not sure if it’s the holiday season causing memories to randomly appear in my mind, or the unrest inside me still reverberating from the viral adoption video/story, or because this season is always so very hard for me now. Whatever it is, it sparked the post below and I don’t know whether I’ve ever talked about this here before.. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 10, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Adoption Stories…

Today, I want to talk about the latest adoption viral story to hit the internet and TV shows. It did the rounds on facebook pages and hit the adoption groups on Facebook, instantly. Pretty much, most of the adoptive parents were all aflutter loving it, the adoptees, not so much, with some loving it, some thought it wasn’t bad, some didn’t like it at all. And of course, there were those adoptive parents who knew an adoptee (or three) who all loved it, but, I don’t think any adoptee weighing in thought the destruction of that little boy’s privacy was right, or good. And it’s not good because you don’t know the future on any of his feelings; but the feel good need so many had, removed any consideration of protecting his story and that it should be sacred for just his family and close friends. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 7, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What I lost

I was having a conversation about reunion and how it can create havoc in your soul. The conversation evolved and moved into more specifics, specifically, the areas of loss an adoptee may feel. That digging deep triggered this post. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 3, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Adoption Awareness Month – Pop Quiz

We all know that having an updated and robust Family Health History is invaluable, that the older we get, the more important it becomes. Long-time readers of this blog know that I was that adoptee who was too busy living my best life to focus on adoption and being an adoptee, until I wasn’t. Until the lack of any family health history changed my life, completely, a life I never could get back. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Adoption Awareness Month – The Good and the Hard

I’ve never been someone who is comfortable sharing my deepest feelings about adoption; being adopted, or of any of the more personal experiences and feelings I’ve gone through over the years. I also know that deep reserve didn’t help me be open with mom and dad about my feelings growing up; that it was also complicated by the sibling troubles and not wanting to cause them more worries. That resulted in who I am now, someone with deep unspoken stories and feelings about everything that has happened to me throughout my life. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 29, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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