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Revisiting the post Revolving cradles

Seeing as Safe Haven has become a point of interest to many, thought it time to repost this post (below) on Revolving Cradles. Skim parts of this post if you must, but pay attention to what they figured out worked better than Revolving Cradles (now called Save Haven Boxes) across Europe in the mid 1800’s.

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics

 

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Adoption Agencies Must Do Better Than This

I’m struggling writing this in anything close to a cohesive post so you have my apologies in advance and if I get anything wrong, I’ll fix it and apologize again. According to the article linked below, my reading is that adoption may be the best thing ever for a child because adoption agencies and a adoption law firm say as much when you only look at the quotes the author pulled from one of their articles on their website. And only one of the linked articles speaks to any of the challenges adoptees have to process, adjust to, and hopefully move through (or not), and that post I read in full came from a website called aptparenting.com. I read it because I’d never heard of them.

The rest of the quotes in the article linked below came from posts from Adoption Agencies and a Law Firm that also does adoptions. I have chosen to link to the posts the quotes come from, but not use the words quoted in the article.

And as you read the article linked below, notice that not a single Adoptee Voice was to be heard in an article about Adoptees.

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Posted by on August 2, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics

 

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From the archives…

Post from 2013 that was very personal for me to write, and one that I think is worth reposting now so people adopting today, and in the future, will try to walk in the shoes of the first family too. Also, read the comments on the post linked below, because they complete the picture I tried to paint.

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Posted by on July 29, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Must Read Article and More

Adoptees who publicly support Roe targeted by anti-abortion activists: ‘What if you were aborted?’

Take the time to read the full article above and then we can talk about it. Personally, I’ve never met an adoptee who hasn’t been schooled on how grateful they should be to be adopted; how lucky they are because they could have been aborted, yada yada yada. You’d think by now that society would recognize the harm caused by growing up under that umbrella of should be dictates, and even as an adult, still being treated like children by random strangers once they know you’re adopted, or even worse, challenged by Adoptive Parents and wanna be Adoptive Parents…

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Posted by on July 10, 2022 in Adoption

 

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Adoption is Complicated

Today on the FB posting of the Washington Post – Dear Carolyn.

“Dear Carolyn: Hi Carolyn, I am 45 and recently found the daughter whom I gave up for adoption when I was 16. My childhood was very traumatic and dysfunctional, therefore I knew that I couldn’t raise her properly or provide the best for her.

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Posted by on July 7, 2022 in Uncategorized

 

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1977 – Congressional Hearing

Apparently, babies were in short supply for people wanting to adopt post abortion becoming legal in 1973. Which, according to the testimony in the Congressional Hearing linked below brought on a new version of Black Market Adoption. I don’t have the time or energy to type up quotes other than the opening statement by Mr. Hyde, maybe I’ll do another post later. Link to the Congressional Hearing below.

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The More I Interact in Adoptee Circles…

The more I learn from other Adoptees lived experiences, the more I realize that my folks were the anomalies, rather than, the norm. And it makes me ever so sad other Adoptees had to deal with all they did on top of all that being adopted brings to their doorstep. Some of the differences are minor, some are so much bigger.

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Posted by on July 3, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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More Post Roe – A Mix of Articles

The Editors of The New England Journal of Medicine have weighed in “Lawmakers v. The Scientific Realities of Human Reproduction

“The just-announced U.S. Supreme Court decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization represents a stunning reversal of precedent that inserts government into the personal lives and health care of Americans. Yet it was not unexpected. In the long, painful prelude to the decision, many states have severely limited access to reproductive health care. The fig-leaf justification behind these restrictions was that induced abortion was a dangerous procedure that required tighter regulation to protect the health of persons seeking that care. Facts belie this disingenuous rhetoric.1,2 The latest available U.S. data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Center for Health Statistics are that maternal mortality due to legal induced abortion is 0.41 per 100,000 procedures, as compared with the overall maternal mortality rate of 23.8 per 100,000 live births.3,4

Go read the full post linked above.

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Posted by on June 27, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Knowing it was coming didn’t make it easier.

Adoption is a man-made institution that was designed to ensure children aren’t left homeless and/or parentless. What it isn’t, is an institution that magically creates ever-lasting bonds between a child and parent, if it was, rehoming would not occur, dissolutions would not happen, all types of abuse (including the rare death) would never happen.

But all of those things do happen and so much more that isn’t talked about outside of adoptee circles.

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Posted by on June 26, 2022 in Adoption

 

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Grateful

Just writing the word Grateful sets my teeth on edge; it’s one of the few words that trigger an emotion that raises my blood pressure which isn’t good. That and the term Lucky, although I don’t have the same visceral reaction to Lucky that I do with the term Grateful, (or any iteration of Grateful).

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Posted by on June 23, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Reaching Out

My Auntie reached out to me this morning via email; it matters to me more than I can say. We aren’t in contact regularly, but enough that it’s an Auntie/Niece relationship that is not just friendly, but warm and inviting, despite it being mainly via email. She sees me as part of the family, as the elder she makes sure I’m not left out and includes me in any family news. She’s also keenly aware I don’t know many family members so she makes sure I know who she’s talking about when she has some news about someone in the family.

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Posted by on June 20, 2022 in Adoption

 

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My musings on what needs changing in adoption

The longer I’m around the adoption community, specifically, in domestic infant adoption, the more I see the need for so much change. Below are my views and ideas only. One of the most fundamental of changes I’ve come to agree could be better is federal regulation/laws for when an adoption happens vs state laws. I think it would be better than the hodge-podge mess of each state creating their own adoption laws. I thank Robyn for bringing that idea up on a regular basis and I do think she’s right. I also think with the pending decision from the Supreme Court on Roe v. Wade, that if it is ever going to happen, the sooner, the better.

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Posted by on June 15, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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