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Othering Adoptees

The post below is from 2018 and a lot has happened in the intervening years, especially the last couple of years. I think a refresher on this subject is necessary because I’m seeing this happen more frequently online, minor edits and formatting have changed from the original.

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Posted by on June 18, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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PAL Question

I was browsing through Adoption posts this morning with similar PAL phrasing and was struck by how awkward “my child, who was adopted” sounds. To me, it highlights the child’s adoption status in a look at me, look at him way, that “my adopted child” doesn’t.

So I’m asking you my friends (or strangers) to weigh in on such an important question of the day. 🙂

Feel free to tell me I’m wrong, right, or what you think it should be assuming adoption is relevant to the statement being made.

Wishing all a good day.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on June 14, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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From 2014 – Good grief, this gets so tiring…

Good grief, this gets so tiring…

Post is from 2014 about a reunion, wedding, adoptive parents weighing in on facebook. I just checked and that FB post is still up on the Today Show page if you want to get the fuller understanding of the angst in the adoptive parent community just click the link in the original post.

After you read the 2014 post above, scroll down and read the comments on the blog post, you won’t regret it.

Argh, words aren’t working today, hope the above makes sense.

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Uncategorized

 

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Best Interest in Adoption is about the Child

I read an article published by an Adoption Agency in 2019. Trying to find the words to describe what I think an adoption should be, if an adoption must happen. Note the text in quotes below are taken directly from the article.

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Posted by on June 1, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Will you please lend a hand to help Adoptees?

I’m asking you to take a few minutes out of your busy day to either call or email your US Senators and urge them to Support the Adoptee Citizenship Act of 2021.

This is so important.

Below are links to both the Call to Action and a FAQ of the Adoptee Citizenship Act of 2021. The Call to Action link has both phone number and email address of your Senators. The FAQ offers information on the bill and why it needs to pass and should answer any questions you have.

Adoptee Citizenship Act Call to Action

FAQ: The Adoptee Citizenship Act of 2021

Thank you!

 
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Posted by on May 27, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Marketplace

The quote below is the last paragraph in an old post of mine from 2013, I was going to post it as it’s own blog post, but of course, it started me down another rabbit hole altogether.

“People like to show that even in the animal kingdom adoption happens. It does. It’s also rare. It only happens because of a tragedy. Perhaps humans should take its cues from the animal kingdom and return adoption to what it should be – a rarely needed response to a tragedy.”

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Posted by on May 25, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Just a quick thought

Anyone else tired of the terms ‘Adoption Triad’, ‘Adoption Constellation’ and any other term that escapes my mind at the moment?

Why is it important to add a name at all?

I do my best to never use any of the collective terms because they all seem so redundant. We have terms to describe every role in adoption, the processes, the events, the people in it.

Why do we need an umbrella term in the first place?

What am I missing?

Tell me what you think in the comments, feel free to go off topic as well.

 
25 Comments

Posted by on May 21, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Talking about Adoptee Rights

I had an exchange with a friend the other day. A friend who is an ally of adoptees and believes in the adoptee’s right to the original birth certificate. But sometimes we forget to explain why a non-discriminatory bill should be the only end goal. I’m not an expert in this area. Nor have I done the hard work that is required to achieve that goal state by state. I haven’t been actively involved in the process, nor would I know when to fold your cards and try again another year. My only role is to encourage others to support clean adoptee rights bills, amplify their message, talk to people and urge them to contact their legislator in support of its passage.

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Posted by on May 15, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Unintended Reminder

Do you remember word games people would use to pass the time on long drives? Word games about if you could talk to a famous person from the past, who would you want to meet and why?

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Posted by on May 12, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What’s Changed?

So, I unfriended my adoptive cousin, the one who has been ghosting me on facebook and beyond for awhile. It felt good, like a strong wind swept cross my soul and made everything better, lighter. That’s a lesson that I need to keep in mind for the future; that any relationship can become toxic and harmful and with my people-pleaser personality I need to see it when it starts, I need to toughen up, not just put up with it.

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Posted by on May 4, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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Magical thinking doesn’t belong in adoption

Read an interview with a first mother, wasn’t anything special, boy meets girl, girl gets pregnant, adoption happened and everything worked out. She ends with the fact that she was just a vessel.

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Posted by on April 27, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Adoptive Mom Asks for Advice

An adoption question was sent to an advice columnist. The usual happened, the adoption community weighed in. The background: Adoptive mom found out her daughter (age 17) has been talking to her mother by birth online, and now, her daughter wants to meet her mother by birth and asked her mom to go with her. Adoptive mother writes to the advice columnist for advice because *she* did a closed adoption and now this *woman* has appeared in her daughter’s life because her daughter searched for her other mother. This is not what she wants. 

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Posted by on April 13, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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