Funny thing about triggers…

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I’m scanning in old photo’s, taken long before I was born and posting them on FB hoping to have family name the people in the pictures I can’t name.  I’ve barely scratched the surface of all the pictures I’ve brought home, thankfully, for most, I’ll know whose, who, based on who else is in the photo (their kids/spouse) otherwise, I’d be lost because they all look so similar to each other.

Seeing them mirror each other doesn’t trigger me, I grew up seeing them mirror each other, looks, mannerisms, even their personalities were the same with slight variations.

This morning, I was triggered just opening up Facebook…

First up in my newsfeed, a friend’s picture of herself with her siblings.  A completely innocent picture posted on FB showing sisters together, mirroring each other. A beautiful picture, you could see the joy they were feeling…

It triggered me…the feeling is still there…knowing I will never have that…

But then, why doesn’t seeing my family mirror each other, trigger me?

This picture above was taken in the 1930’s, during the depression when one didn’t waste money, but dad, apparently couldn’t resist taking this picture of kittens drinking milk. 




Posted by on July 26, 2016 in Adoption


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The push and pull – again

Oklahoma City teen blows away audience, wins over Internet with America’s Got Talent performance

Listen to, not just the song, but the complicated and contradictory feelings in his words of living life adopted…listen only to his feelings, both spoken and given voice by the song he chose.  Not anything else, this is about him, only him.


Posted by on July 21, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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The push and pull…

I’ve done lots of thinking during the last few months.  Mostly about family, the good, the bad, and sometimes – downright ugly.  Funny thing happened just now when I typed that last sentence, I imagined some readers making assumptions about what I meant just then, what ‘type’ of adoptee I am, having just written that.  Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on July 18, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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OT: Just reflecting…

I’m finally done.  Done with the heavy project of deciding what to do with all mom’s personal possessions, and making sure her home was left the way she’d want it left for the new owners.  It’s taken so long, months due to the travel time each way, my lack of stamina, the need to recuperate before going again.  Thankfully, I wasn’t under a time-limit imposed by anyone else.  I’d never agree to do this for anyone again, I only agreed because mom asked because I was the only one who could do it, that she’d trust to do it.  I’d caution anyone who thinks they can do it on their own, even if they are healthy, just the emotional toll is pretty heavy. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on July 16, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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You can’t change the definition of adoptee rights…

I’m exhausted today, so I’m reading pages on Facebook to whittle away the day.  And my wanderings took me to looking at posts with the hashtag #AdopteeRights, one correct, the other one – not so much.. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on July 14, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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There’s an oft repeated saying in the adoption community…

When we know better, we do better…

That saying relates to the progress made in many areas of adoption, and yes, it has happened.

So, why, can’t we apply that to race, attitudes, prejudices, biases, racism, that still exists everywhere?  Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on July 7, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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