An Adoptee on twitter made an observation that summed up the reality for many adoptees and I can’t find the tweet. Argh.
Read the rest of this entry »Revolving Cradles
The post in the box below was originally posted January 24, 2011
The growth in Safe Haven Boxes today, troubles me deeply. I’m troubled most by what I see as the outcome for the child that won’t be able to be fixed unless they get lucky from dna testing as an adult, and even if they do connect, it’s very hard to create relationships with people you should have always known, but couldn’t know. I’m still shaking my head that anyone would have deliberately created and promote a system that strips the child of all their heritage, nationality, no records, no names, not even a factual date of birth, just an estimate given.
The child’s only story is they were abandoned.
No story of why they needed to have a new home found for them, or who their family is by birth is. Hopefully, some children will get an adoptive family with deep compassion, one that has dug as deep as a kept person possibly can to understand what it must be like to have a blank page as the opening story of your life.
It’s still not enough in my view, children don’t deserve to be tossed away, and then seen and treated as blank slates without recourse to gain any knowledge of who they are and when they come from. They become just another baby for adoption, and I’m sure the line up is long of adoptive parents wanting that blank slate baby.
Something else I don’t understand is how someone thinks it’s okay because the baby will be adopted, yet the question still remains, better for who?
The legislation needs to be changed back to what it was before with designated places a mother could take her baby and resources to help her with the ability to reclaim her child within a window of time and get social supports.
Lies in adoption are wrong
Adoption has a history of cutting fathers out of the picture and anyone in adoption reading this post knows it’s been fairly common in infant adoption throughout the years. I haven’t been keeping up on what’s happening in adoption lately, at least not until yesterday that is. In a group that I’d previously believed ensured ethics were front and center and maybe yesterday was just an anomaly, fingers crossed, but cutting the father out by the expectant mother was okay with most commenters. And no, I’m not naming the group.
Read the rest of this entry »Adoption Month – November 2nd, 2023
Many people in adoption have heard the term Seven Core Issues, I’ve written about them multiple times, but, until today, I don’t think I’ve ever read the original article written by by Deborah N. Silverstein and Sharon Kaplan titled Lifelong Issues in Adoption.
Read the rest of this entry »“I’m sorry you had a bad experience”
A few days ago I was intrigued by a thread in an adoption group and started reading the different points of view from members of all sides. And, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by the title, an AP didn’t like what she was hearing from an adoptee, and said:
“I’m sorry you had a bad experience.”
I have to say I was completely gobsmacked that any AP today wouldn’t have a clue how shallow, insincere, and downright ignorant saying that to an adoptee truly is. And if you don’t understand why I’m being so harsh, lets talk about that below.
Read the rest of this entry »Not Right in my book…
Yesterday, I read the article linked below, today, I can’t get it out of my mind. Thoughts?
Read the rest of this entry »“The role of the nurse in relinquishments and adoptions in Colorado”. 1961
Adoption history of the role of the Public Health Nurse interests me, I also had an Auntie who was a Public Health Visiting Nurse. This booklet describes both the different ways the Public Health Nurse worked back then in Colorado, and the ways people got around the rules. Per usual, I am only highlighting some of the info in the booklet, it’s worth reading in full if you are interested in adoption history. I am bolding direct quotes from the book, link to the booklet here.
Read the rest of this entry »There’s Always That One Adoptive Parent…
Surprise – An Adoptive Parent on twitter has a problem with Adult Adoptees…
From 2014 – I finally know
I started a draft post on my birthday and intended to post it a couple of weeks later, then I forgot until the other day, and now, it has morphed into a very long post because I’ve incorporated new thoughts into the post.
Read the rest of this entry »Different thoughts running through my head
A friend called to talk the other day.
A long-time friend called me the other day, a friend I met when I was recovering from getting sick all those years ago; we’d bonded because she’d been sick at the same time and we met at the rehab exercise classes. We’d go grab lunch about once a week after a class, we didn’t have a lot in common other than our similar experience and ages, but they were enough to create an unbreakable bond. They moved away, but she’d always call me if they came to visit the area and we’d grab lunch and catch up, sometimes she’d call, just because. It’s one of those rare friendships that survives both time and distance without contact. She’d called me because her mom had passed away that morning, a passing that was expected, and was also a blessing in many ways, but, of course, she needed someone to talk to, so talk we did. We must have talked for well over an hour, talked about her mom, talked about my mom when she was at her end. I think it helped her to be distracted for a bit, it also allowed her to be able to rest easy about her mom’s passing, even though she knew it was only a matter of time, the actual event is still hard, even if you’ve known it was going to happen soon.
Read the rest of this entry »*Open Adoption Today*
I saw a post on reddit posted by a birth mother who said this:
“Going to meet my birth son who I gave up at birth 18 years ago.”
“He is very excited to meet me and his bio siblings. His mother had reached out asking if we could meet. We’ve been in an open adoption all these years so I’ve seen pictures and talk to his mom etc… But have not met him.”
Read the rest of this entry »
The adopted ones blog 