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I’m hard on adoptive parents for a reason

I’ve been pretty hard on the choices some adoptive parent have made lately and will be hard on them in the future. I’ve also held other adoptive parents up as doing it right and will do so in the future. What I won’t do is stay silent when I see something I feel is wrong that has the potential to harm adoptees; whether it’s a law, policy, a stupid meme or adoptive parents acting badly. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on October 20, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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When Will Adoptive Parents Learn?

I’m not the first adoptee to speak up against adoptive parents oversharing their child’s adoption story, nor will I be the last. We routinely speak up on this issue and have for years. This is a Do Better subject dear to many of us. This is also a Respect Your Child subject we think you should care about. We have lived a lifetime of being adopted and know all too well the consequences for the one adopted, and by extension, all adoptees when adoptive parents overshare their child’s private stories. (do feel free to assume a #not-all-adoptees-feel-that-way.)

This post is courtesy of the latest rendition of oversharing an adoptee’s story on-line, the most recent adoptee video that’s gone viral. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 18, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Another adoptive parents say the darnest things post

On a post on WSBS FB page talking about the TLC show Taken At Birth series is this comment:

Yes just finished. Was such a crazy story! Goes to show how much education and knowledge around adoption has improved in the last 70 years but still a horrific story.

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Posted by on October 16, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Because adoptive parents say adoption is so different today…

I’ve decided to add a new tag: Adoptive Parents say the darndest things.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Quick thought

I think sometimes prospective and adoptive parents don’t realize that how they say something – tells the reader the person’s feelings of privilege and entitlement to adopt someone else’s baby. The quote below is in response to a comment about how birthparents should be allowed to spend time in hospital without the adopting parents there: Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Naming in adoption

There’s no lack of conversations on naming and changing a child’s name in the online world of adoption. There’s also no lack of *reasons* why a child’s name should (or must) be changed. Here’s what I’ve learned reading those conversations about how I view names. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 7, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Triggers in adoption

I think everyone has triggers that can immediately set you off. I have them, although the older I get, the less I seem to care about the ones that intrude on daily life, more of a it is what it is and move on. Yet, I still can’t do that with adoption triggers, they sit with me, sometimes I’m not aware they are still there until the next time they show themselves. This post is mainly about one adoption trigger; and it’s a ridiculously ignorant adoption meme going around on general and adoption FB pages. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 5, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Whose voice do you want to hear?

When the name of the site is adoptees dot org – would you assume the posts on it would be authored by adoptees? I would. I’d expect it to be an adoptee-centric space with adoptee’s in charge, which would be great.

“Here at Adoptee.org, we answer questions regarding adoptee trauma, DNA testing, how to communicate with birth parents, how to find your birth parents, and anything else related to adoptees. We hope our site helps you.”

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Posted by on September 28, 2019 in Adoption

 

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#AdoptionRocks

I hated this hashtag from the first time I saw it several years ago. I hated it because the people using it, whatever role they held or hoped to hold in adoption, had no real knowledge of all that adoption is; what it means to be adopted and the different struggles adoptees face over the course of their lives. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2019 in Adoption

 

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From 2018: For Prospective/Hopeful Adoptive Parents

You may have been told to put yourself out there, pass along your adoption profile, get friends and family to pass on the message that you want to adopt. This has been a standard for a long time.

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Posted by on September 15, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Spin-off from “Family trees and whatnot…

Spin-off and continuation of the last post “Family trees and whatnot…” because Beth’s comment left on the post both answers my questions, and then, spins the conversation further into the generational affect of adoption, plus so much more. Beth and I have been online friends for years, she’s funny and so much wiser than I’ll ever be. Below is Beth’s comment and tale I loved, she always tells the best stories. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 12, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Family trees and whatnot…

I was mulling this morning on how I shift my language surrounding the family members in mom and dad’s family trees. I know, just a weird thought that popped into my head, but it got me thinking. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 29, 2019 in Adoption

 

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