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Tag Archives: adoptive family

Consolation prize?

Upfront I need to say I’ve never felt this way about my adoption and we all were Plan B, but it sure seems whatever the verbiage used, that many adoptees are merely consolation prizes the adopting parents finally settled for. And I see the risk of adoptees being merely consolation prizes growing, not diminishing. Read the rest of this entry »

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30 Comments

Posted by on April 26, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Birth Child Label

I got myself twisted into knots this week. Why I allowed myself to be triggered probably comes down to the fact I’ve been on a strict no-stress diet for what seems like forever. Positive Adoption Language or PAL was the cause of my lapse of living stress free. First, for those reading, I don’t take issue with all the language listed, but my word, some (or most) of the “rules” about adoptees needs to change, and the change needs to led by adoptees; adoptive parents, birth parents, adoption professionals can weigh in, but it’s ultimately the adoptees who should decide the language used about them. Read the rest of this entry »

 
17 Comments

Posted by on March 24, 2019 in Adoption

 

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You need to respect the gravity of all that adoption is

You know what? This isn’t cute. This isn’t funny.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
8 Comments

Posted by on February 12, 2019 in Adoption

 

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How will your adoption choices be viewed?

I know I’m always talking about how you adopt matters, I’m hoping that today’s post offers you a chance to consider how the long-term impact your choices in adopting can play out and even be generational. Choosing the way to get that baby fastest, easiest, the shortest time post birth to relinquishment, or no revocation period, shouldn’t be what guides the choices you make, your ethics and morals should. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Both/And vs. Either/Or

It’s a rare adoptee who would fit into the Either/Or category people like to paint us as, instead try seeing us as Both/And. Read the rest of this entry »

 
15 Comments

Posted by on October 21, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Processing adoption over the years – input requested

The intent of this post is similar to this post Looking for adoptee input on searching as the response was amazing and I thank each one of you who took the time to contribute. This time, it’s to offer a space for any adoptees who wish to describe the different times in their lives when they processed being adopted and how their feelings and views changed. What life events that triggered reflection, changes based on life stages/ages, understanding of adoption practices, or… Read the rest of this entry »

 
11 Comments

Posted by on October 17, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Do you really need to share your adoption story to all?

Dear people adopting or even have already adopted – I watched one of the thousands of adoption video’s this morning. This is how I feel after watching it. Please listen to my words and consider them.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
3 Comments

Posted by on September 20, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Is it really that hard to accept that your child has another family?

 

Dear people who adopt, want to adopt,

Your child’s “birthmom’s” mom is your child’s grandma, not “birthmom’s” mom (well, she is that too). I get that you may desperately want to be your child’s only family, but that isn’t how it works when you adopt (and you know me well enough to know my answer is if you can’t accept that and haven’t adopted yet, then don’t adopt). Read the rest of this entry »

 
13 Comments

Posted by on August 3, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Regrets are prefectly normal

Just a quick note to Prospective Adoptive Parents,  Read the rest of this entry »

 
12 Comments

Posted by on July 29, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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My child’s story is different…

Yes, every adoptee’s story is unique. There are also similarities found in all adoption stories for the one adopted, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what to tell you on how to get there, but I do know you need to get there. Read the rest of this entry »

 
9 Comments

Posted by on July 25, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I was silent over Mother’s Day

I couldn’t find any words over the last week to talk about Mother’s Day that could form a cohesive post, I tried, I failed.  Instead, I read old posts and it’s surprising how many reference mom and/or dad.  Then I found a post written in 2011 about what it means to be a family, I also read the comments including the following comment: Read the rest of this entry »

 
23 Comments

Posted by on May 15, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Microaggressions and Adoptees

The first time I heard about microagressions in adoption was from ABM on Adoptive Black Mom, this post specifically.  Yesterday, I was skimming through an annual report by Rudd that talked about a study on microaggressions and adoptees.   Read the rest of this entry »

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 19, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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