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Tag Archives: adoptive family

Simple primer for reading this blog…

Written in 2017

The other day an Adoptive Parent left a comment on a post detailing that I had enormous problems bonding with my adoptive parents and how I demonize adoption as the source of all my pain and woes. Say what? Funny thing happened though, it didn’t upset me like it would have in the past, whether that’s because it’s become old hat, or because I’ve come to the conclusion that most folks can’t separate “adoption” from “being adopted” from “family” from “feelings” and get upset that I don’t use “disclaimers”, which I believe may have been part of the reason the comment was left.

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Posted by on October 4, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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Endless cycle of non-adopted knowing all.

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen these types of comments shown below in italics that are made in response to someone talking about the hard parts of being adopted, and that, the feelings are not necessarily once and done. I thought we’d been there, done that, and had entered the new age of not using a single adoptee as the voice of all adoptees and all things being adopted. Instead, it’s me choosing to avoid people who speak to what they don’t know, haven’t experienced.

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Posted by on September 24, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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If you don’t know adoption history…

I don’t have a problem with the article at all, just one statement that is factually incorrect and something I’ve seen happening far too often; this desire to pretend that knowledge about what adoptees need didn’t exist until now, and that it is news.

“We are discovering that information about a child’s past is so incredibly important to them and that purposely withholding information about their origin can be incredibly damaging; it can create a void they may spend a lifetime trying to fill.”

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Posted by on September 18, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Adoption Narratives

I stumbled on an interesting study from 2011 on Adoptees and how our “Adoption Entrance Narratives” may shape how we view our adoption. It’s relatively short and starts off on how adoption researchers rely heavily on minute differences between the adopted and non-adopted children, and how they need to take a more nuanced understanding of the self-concept variables in the adopted population. (Ya think…)

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Posted by on September 11, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Moving past Positive Adoptive Language

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the the topic “Is Adopted” or “Was Adopted” discussed on an Adoptive Parent Facebook Page. It amused me after a quick scan of Adoptive Parent replies using “Was Adopted” and how being adopted didn’t define their child, with a few who had more nuanced answers to give. The irony of Adoptive Parents being on an Adoptive Parent Facebook page talking mainly about all things Adoption and Adoptive Parenting seems to have escaped them; as most say they use “Was Adopted” and some expanded that it happened in the past and doesn’t define their child or their family.

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Posted by on September 3, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Who is the client in adoption? Who should be?

There was an article posted that garnered lots of comments in a closed FB group I’m in, none of the comments were good that I remember. The post was pulled down from the site it was published on. You can read about the specifics on Lori’s post, see link below.

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Posted by on August 24, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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From the archives: The Art of Dismissing the adoptees voice

I wrote this post about 10 years ago? I reposted it in 2015, not much has changed, so I’m reposting the 2015 post, again. Do take the time to read the comments from the 2015 post below.

The Art of Dismissing the adoptee’s voice…

And a quick shout-out to everyone who comments, you make my day when you add to the conversation, a thank you to those stopping by to read, plus an invite to add your voice too.

 
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Posted by on August 17, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Dear Adoptive Parents – Just Stop

FB post by Fox 13 News Ohio woman finds son she put up for adoptee 33 years ago through 23andMe

First comment by Allison close to top of the comments, the comment that spurred all the comments below, I’m sure I missed some but how ignorant it is to spoil what was a story about a reunion between mother and son.

Allison “Put up”?? Like a case of bottled peaches? What an antiquated phrase! “Placed for adoption” or “placed with a family” are much more loving.”

John to Allison “I agree 100%. I also hate it when people say “gave it up for adoption.”

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Posted by on August 15, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Rambling thoughts after reading an article.

I stumbled across the article linked at the end of the post when I was looking for something else, so I saved the link to do a post on it that I never got around to doing, until today, and yes, I’m rambling and letting my mind go where it will. The article is from 1990, and it’s about adoption and a time before Facebook existed, it talks about how people advertised for expectant mothers to pick them.

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Posted by on July 27, 2021 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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“I know an adoptee who is just fine with being adopted”

I was on twitter this weekend and an adoptive parent (or intends to be an adoptive parent someday) – started mixing it up with adoptees chatting amongst themselves. The title above was her go to response to explain her pushback. Which got me to thinking about the post from 2019 linked below.

I know an adoptee who is just fine being adopted….

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Posted by on July 19, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Family Tree

I’ve been working on my paternal family tree, the tree that has given me the most angst because I’ve been doing it without anything more than the name of my father by birth, where he grew up, his approximate age. I’d pick it up and try to make sense of it, get confused, give up and swear I was done with it and mean it. Well, in the last couple of weeks I picked it back up because it was too hot to do anything else, and pennies started dropping all over the place and it makes sense, finally. I can plot and document my ancestral timeline, add dates, places, names, what they did, what wars they fought in and survived, the impact those wars had on them personally, and more.

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Posted by on July 8, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Nip it in the bud if someone says it.

It isn’t okay to say “family has come out of the woodwork” when you are hoping to adopt the child you’ve been fostering.

It just isn’t.

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Posted by on July 3, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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