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Tag Archives: adoptive family

Do you really need to share your adoption story to all?

Dear people adopting or even have already adopted – I watched one of the thousands of adoption video’s this morning. This is how I feel after watching it. Please listen to my words and consider them.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on September 20, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Is it really that hard to accept that your child has another family?

 

Dear people who adopt, want to adopt,

Your child’s “birthmom’s” mom is your child’s grandma, not “birthmom’s” mom (well, she is that too). I get that you may desperately want to be your child’s only family, but that isn’t how it works when you adopt (and you know me well enough to know my answer is if you can’t accept that and haven’t adopted yet, then don’t adopt). Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 3, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Regrets are prefectly normal

Just a quick note to Prospective Adoptive Parents,  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 29, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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My child’s story is different…

Yes, every adoptee’s story is unique. There are also similarities found in all adoption stories for the one adopted, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what to tell you on how to get there, but I do know you need to get there. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I was silent over Mother’s Day

I couldn’t find any words over the last week to talk about Mother’s Day that could form a cohesive post, I tried, I failed.  Instead, I read old posts and it’s surprising how many reference mom and/or dad.  Then I found a post written in 2011 about what it means to be a family, I also read the comments including the following comment: Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Microaggressions and Adoptees

The first time I heard about microagressions in adoption was from ABM on Adoptive Black Mom, this post specifically.  Yesterday, I was skimming through an annual report by Rudd that talked about a study on microaggressions and adoptees.   Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 19, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Need to be better, do better…

I want to talk about the reaction in the adoption community when the news broke about the Hart family and the reaction by some vocal adoptive parents in the community.  I don’t want to talk about what happened because it serves no purpose.  I want to speak carefully, but I have my own lived experience that applies a filter and bias to my words. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Twitter thread

Sigh…

Before you dive in, read the definition of legal fiction that happens in adoption which is pertinent to the thread. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 13, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Connection and family trees

Yesterday I was musing on an article written about genealogy that rubbed me the wrong way, perhaps just my take, but it seemed like it was attempting to downplay or dismiss the value of genealogy and family trees.  It reminded me of the same way an adoptive parent comes off trying to downplay the importance of a family of birth to the one adopted.  Later, as I was tidying up around the house waiting for a service technician to arrive, it struck me, at it’s core, what I heard was the deflection of connection, the act of being connected to another person in a personnel and interconnected way, that bothered me and struck such a discordant note in me. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2018 in Adoption

 

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What made you the expert on which adoptees can be heard?

If you know me well, the title tells you this is a post where I’m going to vent a little, blow off steam that’s been percolating for nigh onto a week.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Life can be complicated and overwhelming at times

Daily contradictions in a life filled with complicated realities.  Painful memories have been triggered by the news that push to intrude into my mind instead of staying firmly in the past.  Simple welcome memories that pop into my head that bring me joy in the middle of a mundane task in one moment, to  fear of what lies ahead, to sheer awe at what someone did, sometimes even for me.  Days when I’m caught unaware by a rush of nostalgia that washes over me sparked by a simple object or picture that caught my eye, quickly dampened by the collision of other memories and knowledge of that time intruding to remind me that life really wasn’t that simple, or good. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Twas the day before Christmas Eve…

And I think an open thread might be a good idea for those who just want a space to chat, whether it’s about the holidays past or present, or you just want to hang out with friends who get it.  Talk about joy, sadness, hope, memories, favorite movies, what you’re doing, things that went right this year, even if you’re just feeling Bah Humbug or want to just say Hi and Merry Christmas to all.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 23, 2017 in Adoption

 

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