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Tag Archives: adoptive family

Rambling thoughts after reading an article.

I stumbled across the article linked at the end of the post when I was looking for something else, so I saved the link to do a post on it that I never got around to doing, until today, and yes, I’m rambling and letting my mind go where it will. The article is from 1990, and it’s about adoption and a time before Facebook existed, it talks about how people advertised for expectant mothers to pick them.

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Posted by on July 27, 2021 in Adoption, Uncategorized

 

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“I know an adoptee who is just fine with being adopted”

I was on twitter this weekend and an adoptive parent (or intends to be an adoptive parent someday) – started mixing it up with adoptees chatting amongst themselves. The title above was her go to response to explain her pushback. Which got me to thinking about the post from 2019 linked below.

I know an adoptee who is just fine being adopted….

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Posted by on July 19, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Family Tree

I’ve been working on my paternal family tree, the tree that has given me the most angst because I’ve been doing it without anything more than the name of my father by birth, where he grew up, his approximate age. I’d pick it up and try to make sense of it, get confused, give up and swear I was done with it and mean it. Well, in the last couple of weeks I picked it back up because it was too hot to do anything else, and pennies started dropping all over the place and it makes sense, finally. I can plot and document my ancestral timeline, add dates, places, names, what they did, what wars they fought in and survived, the impact those wars had on them personally, and more.

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Posted by on July 8, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Nip it in the bud if someone says it.

It isn’t okay to say “family has come out of the woodwork” when you are hoping to adopt the child you’ve been fostering.

It just isn’t.

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Posted by on July 3, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Adoption needs to do better

We come from different generations.

Both lived in the same geographical area.

Each brought up in different religions.

Each raised with different cultural traditions and stories.

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Posted by on June 26, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Othering Adoptees

The post below is from 2018 and a lot has happened in the intervening years, especially the last couple of years. I think a refresher on this subject is necessary because I’m seeing this happen more frequently online, minor edits and formatting have changed from the original.

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Posted by on June 18, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What’s Changed?

So, I unfriended my adoptive cousin, the one who has been ghosting me on facebook and beyond for awhile. It felt good, like a strong wind swept cross my soul and made everything better, lighter. That’s a lesson that I need to keep in mind for the future; that any relationship can become toxic and harmful and with my people-pleaser personality I need to see it when it starts, I need to toughen up, not just put up with it.

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Posted by on May 4, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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It’s Personal

It’s Personal

Last year and the start of this year has been a journey for me. A time when big emotions from yesteryears rose to the surface time and time again. A time filled to overflowing with so much loss for so many. It’s also a time of so much ugliness and I hope it is never repeated, and that we come out the other side more aware, more kind, and definitely far less racist with a goal to keep being better to each other.

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Posted by on March 26, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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Adoptee loyalty…(from 2016)

The feelings of loyalty that I feel (and expect others feel in varying degrees) can play a significant role in how we talk about our adoption experience, both to our parents throughout our lives, and as adults to others. I’ve wanted to talk on this subject for a while, but worried, I couldn’t tease out a cohesive post explaining why I think it happens. This is my attempt to explain many of the different factors playing into it that I see around me. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2021 in Adoption

 

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What were they thinking?

They are creating a pilot for a new comedy, I’m sure it will be swell seeing as it’s about a family that adopts a child. Apparently, it’s based on a true life story told by one of the older biological children in the family. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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#WhyILoveAdoptionChallenge

Probably a sweet idea created with the best of intentions by an agency. Probably something those who are adoptive parents would want to do, it might even lift spirits in this hard time we are all struggling through. So, I get it, I truly do, I hope it helps those who need a lift up. It’s also incredibly simplistic and unrealistic, not to mention disenfranchising to many in adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Random thoughts on ‘you did the right thing’…

Why do adoptees often say to their first parent (or parents) some version of: you did the right thing?

How do they know this?

How can anyone know this? Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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