Friday night I went to turn off the computer, but first I checked twitter. Horrified isn’t too strong a word for what I felt seeing the tweets and the glaring images of what was happening in Charlottesville filling my screen. I don’t know how long I sat in silence reading, watching, before I finally turned it off and went to bed with deep fear in my heart for what Saturday would bring. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adoptive family
I don’t know how many adoptees have found once they receive their Original Birth Certificate (OBC) that their mother didn’t name them. I know there are many of us out there, hoping against hope our OBC will show we were named. Instead, for many of us we are Baby Girl and our mother’s surname, Baby Boy, Unnamed Infant, whatever choice of words the officials decided to use at the time. Each time I take part in (or read) conversations about that happening to yet another adoptee, I silently scream the following. Read the rest of this entry »
Everyone will be challenged by losses in their lifetime, some more than others. How we cope, adjust, is uniquely based on our personality, learned coping skills, lived experiences, and our support system. I’m ever thankful for the many adoptee communities that abound today, they are making a difference for many who were alone, who wondered if it was just them that felt that way, or couldn’t figure out why they reacted to things differently. Adoptees finding their communities is beautiful to behold. What is still lacking is an understanding from some (perhaps even many) in the other two sectors in adoption, as well as adoption professionals, even if it is better, it is not good enough, and in some ways deeply lacking. Read the rest of this entry »
Mixed adoption conversations, whether it is another adoptee, a first mom or adoptive mom that bluntly asks, or hints at wanting to know if: a) you’re grateful, b) if you love your parents, c) if you’d choose to be adopted, d) who you consider to be your real parents. Now, most aren’t that blunt, but it seems like most want to know the answers to those questions. Almost as though, how you answer those questions / tell your story determines whether they will listen to what you have to say, or write you off, there is no middle of the road, it’s either/or, and it’s wrong. Read the rest of this entry »
From my understanding this may be part of someone’s faith and I’m not trying to disrespect that, but delve respectfully into how problematic that can be in adoption. Nor am I trying to disrespect parents who feel that way down the road that their family was what their family was supposed to be, that seems different somehow. Read the rest of this entry »
I often search for quotes on a topic, find one that resonates and then read about the person who said it. It’s an interesting and enlightening way to learn about people. This morning, I started with Origins, then Wisdom, then decided I’d try to find an Adoption quote that didn’t try to make adoption better than biological families, wasn’t wrapped up in destiny, wasn’t magical, pre-ordained, or mystical, just something you’d expect from a normal conversation from someone in adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
I just got home from my weekly grocery shop. When I left the grocery store I was a wee bit grumpy, the cashier wasn’t happy and ensured we all felt it. Grumpy is contagious, so I was in a mood putting my groceries into the car and then going to put the cart back.
And then, everything changed… Read the rest of this entry »
Argh, another article. Today, my role as Adoptive Mom is to school all you adoptees about what really happens when you reunite, despite not having reunited myself because I’m not adopted. Read the rest of this entry »
I read an adoption agency post on Family Health History, left a comment, went back to read it again and realized the post is from 2016. My comment is still there pending approval, which I expected as I commented on the weekend. The post was on what the adoption agency does with any family medical updates, note what they do seems pretty standard across agencies, something I’ve talked about before. Adoption agencies can also charge an adoptee to pull their file.
Is the standard good enough is the question I’m asking you my friends.
If you answer in the comments:
- Include your role in adoption (first parent, adoptive parent, adoptee).
- Answer whether it is good enough to you, and why, if it’s not good enough, what should be done instead.
- Include whether you’d have known to check with the adoption agency regularly for updated family health history.
Here is the post: Adoptees and Updated Medical Information
My comment is below, but please don’t click the ‘Read the rest of this entry’ until you’ve read the above post linked, so it’s read without my bias good or bad. If you are going to comment, it would also be good to do that before you read my comment. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve been re-watching the series Newsroom and the last episode I watched was where Will is in jail for contempt and is having a conversation with an imaginary cell mate. The conversation ended with Will saying McKenzie was smarter than he is, and I started thinking about gender stereotypes, marriage, biases, and how we’ve been conditioned by society that woman are the weaker sex, not as strong, brave, or smart. How I’ve dealt with that in my personal life, and yes, I’ve bought into the stereotypes and biases from time to time, or ensured I framed my words to keep ego’s intact, other times, not so much. I am still a work in progress. Read the rest of this entry »
Dad is often in my mind and this week has been no different. He didn’t suffer fools easily, had few words, but gave far more of himself to his family and community than he ever received in return. Now days, I think of him often when I read about the grief of infertility and how it is hard to go to baby showers, and see others create families without any apparent struggle.
I think of the grace and strength that dad had every single day, because you see, he was the man who delivered babies, many babies, over many decades, some at home, some in hospital.