Yesterday I was musing on an article written about genealogy that rubbed me the wrong way, perhaps just my take, but it seemed like it was attempting to downplay or dismiss the value of genealogy and family trees. It reminded me of the same way an adoptive parent comes off trying to downplay the importance of a family of birth to the one adopted. Later, as I was tidying up around the house waiting for a service technician to arrive, it struck me, at it’s core, what I heard was the deflection of connection, the act of being connected to another person in a personnel and interconnected way, that bothered me and struck such a discordant note in me. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: stories
And I think an open thread might be a good idea for those who just want a space to chat, whether it’s about the holidays past or present, or you just want to hang out with friends who get it. Talk about joy, sadness, hope, memories, favorite movies, what you’re doing, things that went right this year, even if you’re just feeling Bah Humbug or want to just say Hi and Merry Christmas to all. Read the rest of this entry »
This post is by Tiffany one of my friends I met on an adoption forum years ago. She’s fierce about what’s right, what’s wrong, she’s also an adoptive mom. A while ago, I asked her to write a post that might help others understand the complexity and challenges of adoption. She said she’d tell her story and see if that helped. This is a long-read so grab a beverage before digging in. This is a must read. Thank you my friend.
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I’m compiling a list of books I want to try to read this winter.
Review: Ghost of Sangju: A Memoir of Reconciliation from Harlow’s Monkey back in 2015 Read the rest of this entry »
I started this post looking for a quote on identity. A quote that would describe something so fundamental as needing to know your family of origin, the why’s, the who am I, the missing part of who we are. Let me know if the quote below resonates with you. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m trying to explain the shifting feelings that happen over the course of a lifetime about being adopted. Would you share how your feelings shifted and became more complex with time (if they did)? I think it’s important for parents to understand how feelings and your emotions can change over time re your adoption, how maturity, understanding of the larger society impacts those feelings good or bad. I just want them to realize that feelings about being adopted, the impact it has on you is not something static, more that it is fluid and ever-changing. Read the rest of this entry »
Covers so much…let it sink in…
I just got home from my weekly grocery shop. When I left the grocery store I was a wee bit grumpy, the cashier wasn’t happy and ensured we all felt it. Grumpy is contagious, so I was in a mood putting my groceries into the car and then going to put the cart back.
And then, everything changed… Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve had a hard time this year being able to focus on writing a post about any one subject, I can write snippets, but being able to shut off all the distractions in today’s world has often proven beyond my ability. One thought that keeps repeating itself every time I see what’s happening in the world is “I’m glad mom and dad aren’t here to see what is happening”. A thought I never imagined I’d ever have, let alone being willing to say out loud, but I am glad they aren’t here to see the bizarre, ugly, mean-spirited happenings in this world. It’s ugly out there and I don’t know if it can be fixed. Yet, the other day I reached out to you, and you responded that proved there are still good people willing to reach back. Thank you my friends, those that commented, those that took the time to read, you ground me, all of you, you make sure I don’t feel alone in a world that has overnight become very foreign. Now, enough of me blathering, lets talk about something else… Read the rest of this entry »
Dad is often in my mind and this week has been no different. He didn’t suffer fools easily, had few words, but gave far more of himself to his family and community than he ever received in return. Now days, I think of him often when I read about the grief of infertility and how it is hard to go to baby showers, and see others create families without any apparent struggle.
I think of the grace and strength that dad had every single day, because you see, he was the man who delivered babies, many babies, over many decades, some at home, some in hospital.
I’d been lulled into complacency thinking that adoptive parents had finally understood that sharing all the gory details of their child’s story to the world, wasn’t in the best interests of the child. Then I stepped out of my self-selected adoptive parent blogs and groups I follow, and with one click, that complacency evaporated… Read the rest of this entry »
Specifically, the birthday of my mother by birth. The morning before, I had this thought that there was a birthday I was missing, but I had no idea whose, or even when, just that it was someone’s birthday soon, perhaps that day. Seeing as I couldn’t figure it out I went to check my family trees to see if it was a direct line ancestor’s birthday. I checked dad’s tree first because it’s the one I know best, nothing, so then I moved to my maternal birth family tree, and there it was, my mother’s birthday was the next day. Read the rest of this entry »