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#NAAM2020 – This Happened Four Years Ago

Four years ago Adam Crasper was deported back to South Korea. Mr. Crasper was adopted by US Citizens as a three year old from South Korea. Please watch the segment done on November 17th, 2016 telling his story on Seattle Station KIRO 7. Hear what happened to him.

You can lend your support in finally getting Citizenship for All Adoptees whose adoptive parents failed to get them naturalized before they turned 18. Please go to Citizenship For All Adoptees on FB.

 

 

 
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Posted by on November 18, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Being Honest as an Adoptee

Is there any way an adoptee can truly be fully honest to others about their deepest feelings about being adopted? To me, it doesn’t seem possible, at least for many of us who feel the weight of loyalty to protect one or both families over our truths. Or because we want to protect a fragile or new relationship with a member of our family by birth. It silences us. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just that many of us never will be able to, instead, we ignore our needs to give voice to the harder experiences and deep dark feelings we’ve been through – even in relatively anonymous spaces. Invisible strings seem to hold us back from telling our stories in-depth, a needed telling to finally find release and maybe even some peace. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 9, 2020 in Adoption

 

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What’s your favorite song?

Lori sent me on a never-ending quest to see if I could come up with a list of 5 songs I couldn’t live without in my life. It was the rabbit-hole that never ended; it was also good hitting all the old bands and singers and just listening to the music created in my youth, the music that stirs something deep inside of me.

Music was my saving grace during my teen years when I was struggling so very much with being adopted, doing things I now regret and often wonder how I made it through alive. I didn’t think I’d survive and sometimes I didn’t want to. Music got me through the angry, the hurt, and the pain most of all. Songs written during an era of deep unrest and upset.

That music has gotten me through every rough period of my life.

I gave up my quest to whittle down my favorite songs to a list of just 5 songs. I can’t because so many helped me survive those years and again later in my life each time when I needed them again. Listening to them again during everything going on right now has helped, a fragile time if there ever was one, while at the same time – one after the other pulled me back in time to all those feelings, and at times, it felt like I was watching a home movie in my mind. Damn. I came to the conclusion I can’t create a numerical list of all time favorites because each one is special and connected to memories. If I had to pick just one song to have, it would be Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. I can’t tell you why, but every time I hear even a few notes of the song, I am pulled in and everything else recedes.

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Getting personal in regards to being adopted.

I’ve been pondering on a conversation my husband and I had the other night, sparked by a question on a game show of all things. Something about how long is too long for your in-laws to visit. Long story short, he didn’t like how mom treated me, how she always seemed to find a way to put me down. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Get Involved, It’s Important

Adoptees for Justice is asking for your help. They are asking you contact your congressman and ask them to support HR2731 before it expires. HR2731 will fix the gaps left after the passage of the CCA of 2000 once and for all. (CCA = Child Citizenship Act).

It’s important to get this fixed, International adoptee’s have been deported and will be deported back to the countries they were adopted from, despite having legally entered the US with the proper paperwork with their adoptive parents. For whatever reason their parents never ensured they were naturalized before they turned 18. It’s a huge problem, it needs fixed. So please consider following the links, learn about what needs to be done and how you can help.

Please help, read the twitter thread linked below, or you can just go to Adoptees For Justice to help.

 
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Posted by on September 3, 2020 in Adoption

 

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It’s the little things that create connections

Not long ago I was told that a flower I grew and loved, was also a flower grown and loved by my grandmother.

A grandmother I never met. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Shifting feelings over time about being adopted

Thought I’d take this time to thank all those who take the time to leave a comment, spark a conversation, drop a memory or a story. All of you make this little blog what it is, a community of friends, who most likely will never meet in person, but understand the other on a fairly deep level. Thank you, I appreciate all of you, whether you leave a comment or just pop in and read a post now and then, you make my life better. Read the rest of this entry »

 
11 Comments

Posted by on March 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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A story told in 65 words.

 

 

 

Read the rest of this entry »

 
38 Comments

Posted by on February 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Loss in adoption

I’m thankful that more people involved in adoption have started recognising that there is loss with adoption and being adopted, how or when it affects the one adopted is individual, but loss there is. Yet, I’m also wary when I hear people acknowledge that, people who aren’t adopted but adopting can’t really understand what that loss truly is if they have only seen it, but haven’t lived it. It makes me worry that their acknowledgement will just become a trite expected thing to say, rather than any deep understanding what it is. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Holidays and Rabbit Holes…

December and the holidays are a mixed bag for me. I have wonderful memories of Christmas past and present, traditions kept, the carols, love the carols and memories of going caroling as a child, the frozen fingers and toes and the hot chocolate after. December is also filled with deeply personal losses that haunt me every year, and some years, I fall down the rabbit hole of loss. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Adoption Awareness Month – Family History

As adoptees we have two different families; the family that adopted us, the family that we were born into. Both families shape who we are, what our family histories tell us also comes into play for many of us. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 6, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I’m hard on adoptive parents for a reason

I’ve been pretty hard on the choices some adoptive parent have made lately and will be hard on them in the future. I’ve also held other adoptive parents up as doing it right and will do so in the future. What I won’t do is stay silent when I see something I feel is wrong that has the potential to harm adoptees; whether it’s a law, policy, a stupid meme or adoptive parents acting badly. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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