Last night I got stressed out by what occurred when an expectant mom made a post on an adoption page asking for information. What happened robbed me of sleep for several hours as I just kept thinking about it, this morning, it was the first thing on my mind and it’s still there now. So here I am trying hard to come up with a way to frame this that can be heard, needs to be heard, while the cynic in me is saying, those who need to hear and understand, aren’t going to read a post telling them they’re wrong. I still have to try. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: mothers
I wrote this five years ago. I know this may not be the narrative of all, it is for some, perhaps many. The price they paid is too high. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve posted The Danger Of A Single Story by Chimanda Ngozi Adichie every year in November since I first posted it in 2010. Listening to her talk never gets old, rather, it seems, I get something new from it every time. Perhaps why it stays relevant is that it applies to so many different areas in life for different people. Perhaps, because it’s filled with wisdom that always has value, adds value every time you hear it.
Why do people look for stories from first mothers that are positive stories of choosing adoption? Is it more about their need for someone to say it wasn’t traumatic and absolve them from any feelings of guilt for participating? Is it because it reinforces that there are some who choose adoption because they truly don’t wish to mother their child? Those are the only reasons I can think of, I’m sure there are others reasons, but stay with me as I try to explain what I mean. Read the rest of this entry »
Most connected to adoption know that white mothers from the BSE (1947-1973) were shamed for being unwed and pregnant. That, community knowledge of the pregnancy brought shame down upon the entire family, and why, mothers were often sent away to maternity homes, or to relatives elsewhere, until after the birth and surrender of their baby for adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
Although I haven’t shared my adoption story here, and likely won’t ever, I have shared parts in other places, and perhaps even here that I wasn’t happy when I came home. The reality was that for months on end, I screamed unless I was sleeping, or being rocked which helped in the moment, but one other action made me calm…