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Tag Archives: mothers

Safe Haven Boxes

I’ve written in the past about Safe Haven Boxes, and no, I don’t support them, I believe education and supportive services should be front and center. Do a public education campaign about adoption and other options available, options available at the hospital, the doctor, your church, options that give you time to think things through, rather than a decision you may regret with no recourse. When Safe Haven Baby Boxes became a thing again a while ago I was flabbergasted. I’ve written a couple of posts over the years, but the first post I’m linking to is from The Daily Bastardette, she’s brilliant and knowledgable. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Adoptive Parents Missing the Obivous

I copied many of the replies from this post on the FB Adoptive Families Page a couple hours after it had linked to this post: “AFTER DECADES OF PAIN, MOTHER REUNITES WITH SON GIVEN UP FOR ADOPTION IN WYOMING 51-YEARS AGO”

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Posted by on February 28, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Birthdays & Names

If you are adopted…

And adopted shortly after birth… Read the rest of this entry »

 
3 Comments

Posted by on February 2, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Heaviness

Heaviness

There’s a heaviness to everything right now that weaves itself into every aspect of my life. A heaviness I haven’t felt for years. There are times when I find myself just sitting in my chair and watch my thoughts shuffle through my mind, none sticking, rather, they are gone the instant my mind randomly shuffles to the next thought. All I know is this isn’t my normal, my normal is boringly normal, not heavy, not carrying a level of fear like it is now, I haven’t had this level of fear simmering just below the surface of every waking moment since I had my health events. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Adopt A …

Tis the Christmas Season and every year there’s a flurry of posts on different Adoption Facebook pages and groups about all those Adopt A Family, Pet, Highway, programs – what have you. By far, it seems the most common is the Adopt A Pet that a fair amount of people in the adoption seem to get upset about, others don’t see the problem, and those that just say Meh, whatever. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 13, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Dear pro-life would be adopter…from 2015

(Lots of online discussion on adopting due to the recent SC nominee so it seems timely to re-up this post and hopefully make some think)

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

She’s not ready to adopt…

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Posted by on October 15, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Getting personal in regards to being adopted.

I’ve been pondering on a conversation my husband and I had the other night, sparked by a question on a game show of all things. Something about how long is too long for your in-laws to visit. Long story short, he didn’t like how mom treated me, how she always seemed to find a way to put me down. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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The Name on the Original Birth Certificate

I’ve been thinking about naming and how it seems to be done today in DIA (Domestic Infant Adoption), and why one aspect bothers me, both personally and ethically. That is what has been bouncing around in my thoughts lately, so I thought I’d try to make sense in a post. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Making Choices

We make choices every day, but the values that drives those choices is what is important. I shopped at the same grocery chain for decades, even after their ownership changed, I resisted trying their competitor for more than a year. During that year I noticed older employees disappearing, new employees so young I wondered if they’d ever shopped for groceries before. Name brands disappearing, replaced with no-name products I’d never heard of before, or knew what company produced. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 21, 2020 in Adoption

 

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From 2014: Every single day…

My mother was asked by someone fairly close to her, if she still thought about me after all this time.  The title was the immediate answer.  Stop and think about what that means to a mother.  To me, it means that not only did she think about me, she would have wondered if I was okay, healthy, happy, sad, even if I was alive. I can only begin to imagine the level of pain she lived with, because without knowledge, I doubt that she would think only good thoughts, not have any worries about the life I was living, rather, they would include if I was living, what my new family was like, was I loved, was I okay. I compare her words with the length of time I thought of my son every single day – before I had days, and then, weeks go by without thinking about my son after he passed. That transition happened long before the first decade had passed and having lived through that, I can’t imagine the pain that stretched decades, day in, day out, no relief, no forgetting. It’s incomprehensible, and makes tears roll down my face just thinking about it. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Quick thought

I think sometimes prospective and adoptive parents don’t realize that how they say something – tells the reader the person’s feelings of privilege and entitlement to adopt someone else’s baby. The quote below is in response to a comment about how birthparents should be allowed to spend time in hospital without the adopting parents there: Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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On being heard…

This is likely going to be fairly muddled because I don’t like to publicly call people out by name, rather just talk about why I found something problematic. So there was a blog post recently by an adoption agency that ruffled feathers (pissed off) many in the adoption community, raising my hand as one of them. The outcome, I lost the respect I’d previously held for them. Read the rest of this entry »

 
10 Comments

Posted by on August 13, 2019 in Adoption

 

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