It’s time for adoption to stop being a marketplace and to return to it’s roots where it was an option of last resort, but only after every other option had failed. And yes, I can see people get upset with the term marketplace, so lets talk about it, because, it is the reality today.Read the rest of this entry »
Category Archives: Ethics
Platitudes, knee-jerk reactions followed by gas-lighting were topics on my Twitter-feed this morning, the latter two were words from MerriamWebster (follow them, they’re great). All three happen to be part of the landscape of adoption-land that each person faces happening to them at some point.Read the rest of this entry »
“Modern adoption is not what it was many years ago. It is no longer a secretive subject. Most children who were adopted now know about their adoption story. In fact, most adoptions today are open or semi-open adoptions, meaning they know their biological parent(s) in some capacity. About 90 percent of children in an open adoption report having positive feelings about their circumstance. Their parents are encouraged by adoption professionals to speak about adoption, share age-appropriate information, and celebrate their child’s unique story of being loved by two families instead of one.” sourceRead the rest of this entry »
Originally posted 21 Sept 2015
Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good. Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…
She’s not ready to adopt…
It takes a lot of empathy, being able, and willing, to see all the different sides in adoption. To see the trauma the other sides go through, so you get what you want most, a baby. Some people never get there, and that’s okay, provided they don’t adopt.
To me, to be ready to be adoptive parents, it takes…Read the rest of this entry »
Woke up in a mood you could politely say was cranky, that mood was because yesterday was a terrible day for women in the USA, a day foretelling the very real possibility of Roe v. Wade being struck down. And yes, I understand that the states could enact their own laws re abortion, but even if some states do, other states won’t and it will leave many without recourse, let alone a real choice, and yes, many women will have no choice but adoption.Read the rest of this entry »
Adoption can be hard and ugly for fathers and their families who want nothing to do with domestic infant adoption. Those fathers and their families are struggling with the loss of a family member to adoption, an adoption that is not wanted, desired, or needed. The same fathers who face expensive up-hill legal battles to parent their own child in a system that can take years for any resolution.
Please go to Rileys in Uganda link below and read the Q&A post with David Smolin It’s about his session with Jedd Meddefind at CAFO conference.
Beautiful post on #BuildFamiliesNotBoxes and the movie The Drop Box. The way she writes is amazing. She shows there are more options, work to be done, and the impact on the children by just accepting the status quo. This quote from the article clearly sums it up: “adoption is far more complicated than a drop-off”. Take the time to read it.
Build Families Not Baby Boxes by Melanie Springer Mock
Have a good week…
I’m going to attempt this post to get people to dig deep and think seriously about this topic, and then consider speaking to your adoption service providers about it whether they are lawyers, agencies, facilitator, or whoever else I missed. Gauge their reaction and ask yourself whether they are truly in it to help, or something else.
A comment was left here yesterday, that I declined to approve. On the scale of some comments I have seen, it wasn’t the worst by any means. It was though, derogatory to an entire segment of people in adoption, no exceptions, painting all with the same brush. There is nothing to be gained by such comments except a further widening of the chasm between groups. We can choose to come together, and agree to disagree on some points, and then, focus on points we do agree with… Read the rest of this entry »