Category Archives: Ethics
Another Adoption Service Provider seems to not know Adoption History.
“Once upon a time–we’re talking about the years up to the early ’80s-–secrecy and lies was the name of the game in adoption.”
“This is how it worked: Expectant parents who had “out-of-wedlock” babies were forced to give them away and then told to go on with their lives without knowing what became of their children.”
“Adoptive parents were expected to raise the children “as their own” without ever mentioning where they came from. And the children themselves had no idea about anything until the truth would accidentally slip out. Sometimes it would come directly from the adoption record. Other times it would come out as part of their parents’ deathbed confession.”
“Finally, they would have answers to the questions that gnawed at them their entire lives:”
- “Why don’t I look like my parents?”
- “Why am I so different from the rest of my family?”
- “Why are my parents so uncomfortable about talking about my birth?”
The above is from an Adoption Service Provider…America Adopts
Read the rest of this entry »The Year 2022 is almost done and 2023 almost here.
We had the Christmas we wanted, very quiet just the two of us plus the two cats. We also didn’t decorate because of the two cats. Tonight we are going to order Chinese food and pick it up, same thing we used to do before the pandemic happened for New Years. We’d do it to get me out of my memories that come to the forefront at this time of year, it has always worked well to have a change of pace.
Read the rest of this entry »Right to end your adoption?
Adoptive Parents have the right to annual the adoption, so why don’t Adult Adoptees have the same right?
Gregory Luce @adopteerights is the author of the article below that made me start musing on the subject:
Adoptee Rights And Adoption Annulment
Read the rest of this entry »This is wrong any way you look at it.
Yesterday, I ventured onto a FB Adoption Group, one that seems both moderate and helpful to people asking questions. And no, I’m not linking to it, cuz you know I’m not into shaming and naming, nor was it the fault of the group, the fault rests solely on the individuals (yes, there was more than one) that chose to say what they said.
Read the rest of this entry »In Adoption, Loss Never Truly Ends.
This morning I woke up to a tweet by @adopteerights.com
A tweet that chilled my soul.
A tweet that foretold the desire by some to make many more babies available for adoption.
Read the rest of this entry »Missing Pieces
I think one of the hardest aspects to accept is knowing my missing pieces, will always be missing.
Where was I before I was adopted?
Did I stay in hospital the whole time?
Or was I moved to a foster home as I was told?
How was I treated, wherever I was?
Who cared for me?
Was I just left in a crib to cry it out?
Or was I given something to keep me quiet?
And if yes, is that why I cried non-stop for months if not held?
Why did the state not have a non-identifying report for me?
Why did the story given to mom and dad not match the story my aunt told me decades later?
Why does it all matter so much to me many decades later now that I’m on the downhill side of life?
Revisiting the post Revolving cradles
Seeing as Safe Haven has become a point of interest to many, thought it time to repost this post (below) on Revolving Cradles. Skim parts of this post if you must, but pay attention to what they figured out worked better than Revolving Cradles (now called Save Haven Boxes) across Europe in the mid 1800’s.
Adoption Agencies Must Do Better Than This
I’m struggling writing this in anything close to a cohesive post so you have my apologies in advance and if I get anything wrong, I’ll fix it and apologize again. According to the article linked below, my reading is that adoption may be the best thing ever for a child because adoption agencies and a adoption law firm say as much when you only look at the quotes the author pulled from one of their articles on their website. And only one of the linked articles speaks to any of the challenges adoptees have to process, adjust to, and hopefully move through (or not), and that post I read in full came from a website called aptparenting.com. I read it because I’d never heard of them.
The rest of the quotes in the article linked below came from posts from Adoption Agencies and a Law Firm that also does adoptions. I have chosen to link to the posts the quotes come from, but not use the words quoted in the article.
And as you read the article linked below, notice that not a single Adoptee Voice was to be heard in an article about Adoptees.
Read the rest of this entry »1977 – Congressional Hearing
Apparently, babies were in short supply for people wanting to adopt post abortion becoming legal in 1973. Which, according to the testimony in the Congressional Hearing linked below brought on a new version of Black Market Adoption. I don’t have the time or energy to type up quotes other than the opening statement by Mr. Hyde, maybe I’ll do another post later. Link to the Congressional Hearing below.
Read the rest of this entry »No, We are fully human.
“WHAT ARE THE PROS AND CONS OF A CLOSED ADOPTION?”
“You have a lot to consider when deciding between a closed and open adoption. So, it’s important that you understand the pros and cons of choosing a closed adoption.”
“If you are leaning toward this type of adoption, here are some benefits that you may experience when working with closed adoption agencies.”
“A closed adoption may create more privacy in your life. The adoptive family and child will agree not to reach out to the prospective birth mother unless she allows it (and vice versa).” (bolding mine)
Read the rest of this entry »
The adopted ones blog 