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Tag Archives: truth

Lucky

I’m one of the “lucky” adoptees from the era referred to as the Baby Scoop Era (BSE). I’m lucky for all the reasons listed below and more. I also wish I never needed to be “lucky” in the first place.

And my use of the term Lucky is not giving any non-adopted person permission to use it in regards to an adopted person.

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Posted by on September 1, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Dear Adoptive Parents – Just Stop

FB post by Fox 13 News Ohio woman finds son she put up for adoptee 33 years ago through 23andMe

First comment by Allison close to top of the comments, the comment that spurred all the comments below, I’m sure I missed some but how ignorant it is to spoil what was a story about a reunion between mother and son.

Allison “Put up”?? Like a case of bottled peaches? What an antiquated phrase! “Placed for adoption” or “placed with a family” are much more loving.”

John to Allison “I agree 100%. I also hate it when people say “gave it up for adoption.”

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Posted by on August 15, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Do Better

Some folks are appalled an adoptee and former foster care child has an opinion. An opinion they don’t like. I strolled through some FB posts and comments and articles in magazines of people who seem to think they have the right to take her to task for her personal views.

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Posted by on August 12, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Family Tree

I’ve been working on my paternal family tree, the tree that has given me the most angst because I’ve been doing it without anything more than the name of my father by birth, where he grew up, his approximate age. I’d pick it up and try to make sense of it, get confused, give up and swear I was done with it and mean it. Well, in the last couple of weeks I picked it back up because it was too hot to do anything else, and pennies started dropping all over the place and it makes sense, finally. I can plot and document my ancestral timeline, add dates, places, names, what they did, what wars they fought in and survived, the impact those wars had on them personally, and more.

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Posted by on July 8, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Nip it in the bud if someone says it.

It isn’t okay to say “family has come out of the woodwork” when you are hoping to adopt the child you’ve been fostering.

It just isn’t.

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Posted by on July 3, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Adoption needs to do better

We come from different generations.

Both lived in the same geographical area.

Each brought up in different religions.

Each raised with different cultural traditions and stories.

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Posted by on June 26, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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When the now outsider is the family historian…

The other day I received a message asking me to help them fill in the blanks in their family tree. They were wanting me to tell them who their ancestors were, provide any pictures I had, fill in the blanks in the family story. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What’s your favorite song?

Lori sent me on a never-ending quest to see if I could come up with a list of 5 songs I couldn’t live without in my life. It was the rabbit-hole that never ended; it was also good hitting all the old bands and singers and just listening to the music created in my youth, the music that stirs something deep inside of me.

Music was my saving grace during my teen years when I was struggling so very much with being adopted, doing things I now regret and often wonder how I made it through alive. I didn’t think I’d survive and sometimes I didn’t want to. Music got me through the angry, the hurt, and the pain most of all. Songs written during an era of deep unrest and upset.

That music has gotten me through every rough period of my life.

I gave up my quest to whittle down my favorite songs to a list of just 5 songs. I can’t because so many helped me survive those years and again later in my life each time when I needed them again. Listening to them again during everything going on right now has helped, a fragile time if there ever was one, while at the same time – one after the other pulled me back in time to all those feelings, and at times, it felt like I was watching a home movie in my mind. Damn. I came to the conclusion I can’t create a numerical list of all time favorites because each one is special and connected to memories. If I had to pick just one song to have, it would be Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. I can’t tell you why, but every time I hear even a few notes of the song, I am pulled in and everything else recedes.

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Told Not To Tell The Child They Are Adopted?

There seems to be a persistent myth that adoptive parents of my era (the BSE) were told by adoption professionals not to tell their child they were adopted. That just isn’t true and the sheer number of adoptees from my era who know they were adopted disprove it. Were there parents who didn’t tell their child? Yes. But that wasn’t because they were told by adoption agencies not to tell; they made a decision not to tell on their own, or they just kept putting off telling because it wasn’t the right time and the right time never came. Telling was the standard and widely practiced or there would be far more LDA’s (Late Discovery Adoptee) with the sheer number who do DNA tests now. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 8, 2020 in Adoption

 

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It’s Always The Adoptee’s Fault

Apparently, I’m done with my mellow phase… Read the rest of this entry »

 
10 Comments

Posted by on April 16, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Was adopted or Is adopted – which is right?

Since I came on-line I’ve read countless comments by adoptive parents who don’t want their child defined by adoption and being adopted (oh the horrors). Positive Adoption Language supports that being defined by being adopted is a very bad thing with Is Adopted being bad and Was Adopted being good or positive, it was just an event after all. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Triggers in adoption

I think everyone has triggers that can immediately set you off. I have them, although the older I get, the less I seem to care about the ones that intrude on daily life, more of a it is what it is and move on. Yet, I still can’t do that with adoption triggers, they sit with me, sometimes I’m not aware they are still there until the next time they show themselves. This post is mainly about one adoption trigger; and it’s a ridiculously ignorant adoption meme going around on general and adoption FB pages. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 5, 2019 in Adoption

 

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