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Tag Archives: truth

Triggers in adoption

I think everyone has triggers that can immediately set you off. I have them, although the older I get, the less I seem to care about the ones that intrude on daily life, more of a it is what it is and move on. Yet, I still can’t do that with adoption triggers, they sit with me, sometimes I’m not aware they are still there until the next time they show themselves. This post is mainly about one adoption trigger; and it’s a ridiculously ignorant adoption meme going around on general and adoption FB pages. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on October 5, 2019 in Adoption

 

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#AdoptionRocks

I hated this hashtag from the first time I saw it several years ago. I hated it because the people using it, whatever role they held or hoped to hold in adoption, had no real knowledge of all that adoption is; what it means to be adopted and the different struggles adoptees face over the course of their lives. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2019 in Adoption

 

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The lie always finds the light in the end

The road to this post is sort of long, please bear with me. Mom’s parents immigrated from England to Canada back in the early 1900’s, if memory serves they knew each other in England before they immigrated. They married in Canada and lived out their lives there; this story takes place after they were all gone. Back then, trips home to England were few because you had to go via ship, but they stayed in touch with family through regular letters written in ultra-small script filling every inch of the page. So, mom grew up knowing her cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents though letters and stories told. When travel got easier (airplanes), mom visited several times over the decades, she would spend several days with each family, they also kept up the letters so everyone knew what was happening in the family.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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From 2012: Long rambling post about life and dealing with ambiguous loss…

(this post is not about adoption, other than I’m adopted – Judy’s us)

Judy Miller has an interesting post on ambiguous loss and some good points regarding adoption and how the ambiguous loss can be felt at different times (ebbs and flows) over an adoptee’s lifetime.  I have heard the term but had never taken the time to understand the parameters of what was included in the term. It was interesting to read and one of the links goes to a book by Pauline Boss.  I may put it on my list of books to read. The Amazon page has this to say about the book:  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 21, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Connection and family trees

Yesterday I was musing on an article written about genealogy that rubbed me the wrong way, perhaps just my take, but it seemed like it was attempting to downplay or dismiss the value of genealogy and family trees.  It reminded me of the same way an adoptive parent comes off trying to downplay the importance of a family of birth to the one adopted.  Later, as I was tidying up around the house waiting for a service technician to arrive, it struck me, at it’s core, what I heard was the deflection of connection, the act of being connected to another person in a personnel and interconnected way, that bothered me and struck such a discordant note in me. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2018 in Adoption

 

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The Book: Being Adopted – The Lifelong Search for Self

(a post from 2011 I’ve rewritten).  I have so much praise for this book, the way it explains the different phases an adoptee may go through, and the triggers that can happen along the way.  How the cognitive developmental stages work with understanding adoption, to different stressors, losses, the different phases of life. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 6, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Why are AP’s waiting to tell their child they’re adopted?

More and more adoptive parents are openly admitting that they haven’t told their child they are adopted and intend to wait to tell till the child is old enough to understand.  I know I’ve brought this up many times over the years, but this comment left under an article written by an adoptee about the hard truths in adoption (loss, abandonment, grief) sparked this post.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Archives 2015 – Dear pro-life would be adopter…

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there.  I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt.  I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her.  Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Trying to get back on track and talk about what’s important…

I’ve had a hard time this year being able to focus on writing a post about any one subject, I can write snippets, but being able to shut off all the distractions in today’s world has often proven beyond my ability.  One thought that keeps repeating itself every time I see what’s happening in the world is “I’m glad mom and dad aren’t here to see what is happening”.  A thought I never imagined I’d ever have, let alone being willing to say out loud, but I am glad they aren’t here to see the bizarre, ugly, mean-spirited happenings in this world.  It’s ugly out there and I don’t know if it can be fixed.  Yet, the other day I reached out to you, and you responded that proved there are still good people willing to reach back.  Thank you my friends, those that commented, those that took the time to read, you ground me, all of you, you make sure I don’t feel alone in a world that has overnight become very foreign.  Now, enough of me blathering, lets talk about something else… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 2, 2017 in Adoption

 

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Two different voices, two different subjects, both important.

Adoptive parents need to read to understand, hear what is being said, educate themselves on the hard…

It’s all inter-connected, being adopted adds additional layers…

Adoption, Sex, And The Pursuit Of Love: Why Adoptive Parents Need To Talk To Their Kids About Sex

We must be able to talk about suicide and adoption, being adopted, I know of three that happened this month…

Today I went to a Funeral

There’s more to being adopted than rainbows and sunshine, pretending otherwise does a disservice to adoptees.

 

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Betwixt And Between

Definition of Betwixt And Between

1:  in a midway position :  neither one thing nor the other

That’s often how I feel being adopted, now more than ever before. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 5, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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It’s over…

It’s over, finally over, it’s also just beginning.  I wish them well.

Dad given custody of daughter secretly adopted 9 years ago

The post below was titled Father’s Day posted last June and delves into the back story with links…

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Posted by on May 4, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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