More and more adoptive parents are openly admitting that they haven’t told their child they are adopted and intend to wait to tell till the child is old enough to understand. I know I’ve brought this up many times over the years, but this comment left under an article written by an adoptee about the hard truths in adoption (loss, abandonment, grief) sparked this post. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: truth
Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good. Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know… Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve had a hard time this year being able to focus on writing a post about any one subject, I can write snippets, but being able to shut off all the distractions in today’s world has often proven beyond my ability. One thought that keeps repeating itself every time I see what’s happening in the world is “I’m glad mom and dad aren’t here to see what is happening”. A thought I never imagined I’d ever have, let alone being willing to say out loud, but I am glad they aren’t here to see the bizarre, ugly, mean-spirited happenings in this world. It’s ugly out there and I don’t know if it can be fixed. Yet, the other day I reached out to you, and you responded that proved there are still good people willing to reach back. Thank you my friends, those that commented, those that took the time to read, you ground me, all of you, you make sure I don’t feel alone in a world that has overnight become very foreign. Now, enough of me blathering, lets talk about something else… Read the rest of this entry »
Adoptive parents need to read to understand, hear what is being said, educate themselves on the hard…
It’s all inter-connected, being adopted adds additional layers…
We must be able to talk about suicide and adoption, being adopted, I know of three that happened this month…
There’s more to being adopted than rainbows and sunshine, pretending otherwise does a disservice to adoptees.
It’s over, finally over, it’s also just beginning. I wish them well.
The post below was titled Father’s Day posted last June and delves into the back story with links…
I can’t tell you how many posts and articles I’ve read over the years talking about adopting because all children need families. That adoption has always been part of the plan, or has been laid on their hearts. That giving a home to a child in need is what they’ve always wanted to do since they were young, and that adopting now is the plan seeing as your quest to have one of your own didn’t work. (fair warning this isn’t warm and fuzzy) Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve posted The Danger Of A Single Story by Chimanda Ngozi Adichie every year in November since I first posted it in 2010. Listening to her talk never gets old, rather, it seems, I get something new from it every time. Perhaps why it stays relevant is that it applies to so many different areas in life for different people. Perhaps, because it’s filled with wisdom that always has value, adds value every time you hear it.
Recently, I became interested to know why people who use donor eggs or sperm don’t want their children to ever know, so I started searching for the reasons, and started listening to the why’s, the fears, the antics used to make sure their child will never know. I must confess not one excuse/reason was valid to me. The lengths they go to cover it up shocks me more. And it seems to boil down to fear they won’t be seen as real more than any other reason. Read the rest of this entry »
The other day, Mimi wrote a tweet that caused me to think, deeply, and to recognise that the first question that popped in my head happened for no other reason than my own white privilege. Read the rest of this entry »
I’d wave it and magically remove the insecurity *some* adoptive parents have over commonly used terms that offend them, every time. Terms that aren’t going to magically disappear from the lexicon. Terms like ‘real’ in reference to a biological family. I’d also bestow on you the ability to take the power away from terms like ‘real’. Read the rest of this entry »
There’s a father whose been fighting for 8 years to parent his daughter. He’s had to fight in both Utah and Colorado courts. Can you imagine the heartache? The devastation? All the time lost? Every first he will never witness? The memories they should have made together? The emotional toll? And he’s still fighting.
This is a Father… Read the rest of this entry »