RSS

Category Archives: adoptive parents

The journey so far being an adoptive mom

This post is by Tiffany one of my friends I met on an adoption forum years ago.  She’s fierce about what’s right, what’s wrong, she’s also an adoptive mom.  A while ago, I asked her to write a post that might help others understand the complexity and challenges of adoption.  She said she’d tell her story and see if that helped.  This is a long-read so grab a beverage before digging in.  This is a must read.  Thank you my friend.

************** Read the rest of this entry »

Advertisements
 
32 Comments

Posted by on December 7, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Similar and different…

Dear Adoptive Parents and those waiting to adopt,

I just had a thought on something adoptive parents and adoptees have in common, and it’s something I don’t think people get, but lets back-up and start with the basics.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
6 Comments

Posted by on December 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

The reason why, the reason why it is different

Some, perhaps even many adoptees grumble about hopeful and adoptive parents grabbing onto the latest happy domestic infant adoption story, sharing it widely, making sappy comments, and I know for me, it always triggers an immediate reaction that starts with ugh. Read the rest of this entry »

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Feeling worthy of being loved…

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I ran across this quote and others by Stephen Chbosky and they spoke to me about adoption feelings, despite not having anything to do with adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
16 Comments

Posted by on November 4, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , ,

A memoir I want to read, have you read it?

I’m compiling a list of books I want to try to read this winter.

Review: Ghost of Sangju: A Memoir of Reconciliation from Harlow’s Monkey back in 2015 Read the rest of this entry »

 
3 Comments

Posted by on November 1, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , ,

Could it simply be overwhelming feelings…

One of the never-ending conversations adoptive parents have is when the child’s mother of birth cancels, or just doesn’t show for an arranged get-together, despite having promised to be there.  I can’t say with any certainty, but I do wonder if it’s more the overwhelming feelings that keeps them from keeping the commitment. Read the rest of this entry »

 
18 Comments

Posted by on October 27, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Words and adoption

Platitudes, knee-jerk reactions followed by gas-lighting were topics on my Twitter-feed this morning, the latter two were words from MerriamWebster (follow them, they’re great).  All three happen to be part of the landscape of adoption-land that each person faces happening to them at some point. Read the rest of this entry »

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 20, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

More thoughts on screening for adoptees

Still mulling on, fuming on the audacity of The National Council for Adoption Advocate suggesting that DTC genetic companies should screen for adoptees by asking them if they’re adopted and then providing “adoption professionals” to contact for help so it’s “adoption-supportive and sensitive”.  In my effort to consider whether they have a point re the “adoption professionals”, I googled adoption agencies+reunion advice. Read the rest of this entry »

 
2 Comments

Posted by on October 12, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Just a wee bit late…

The National Council for Adoption has concerns on adoptees using DNA tests to find their families of birth and get health information.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
16 Comments

Posted by on October 8, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

A quote and a couple of good reads with a twist…

I started this post looking for a quote on identity.  A quote that would describe something so fundamental as needing to know your family of origin, the why’s, the who am I, the missing part of who we are.  Let me know if the quote below resonates with you.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
1 Comment

Posted by on October 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Question to ponder

We are the adopted children of our parents, we (nor them) have any say in that, it’s the legal definition.

We now have a new qualifier being attached to adoptees – we are a first mom’s birth child.

Can we please stop adding qualifiers to adoptees, last time I checked, there was nothing wrong with just being called their child.  Why add a qualifier, we didn’t disqualify you, we had no say or choice in the matter.  And really, it stings that you can’t even claim your child is your child.  And if it is the professionals in adoption telling you to call your child that, here’s a thought, they’re wrong.  Tell them that, and that perhaps, they should talk to adoptees about what we want to be called.

Ugh, just ugh.

Adoptees, do feel free to weigh in on what you think of being called your mother’s birth child.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on September 18, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Hey, that’s how I’ve always felt…

Thought for the day:

I can’t tell you how many adoptees start off processing the hard parts of being adopted, once they start talking with and getting to know other adoptees.  Then they start talking about feelings, feelings they’ve never been comfortable sharing with others.  Then once they hear others that were triggered the same way, in the same circumstances, the pennies start dropping that their reaction to (perceived rejection, insecurities relationship wise, not feeling good enough, anxiety, aloneness, different) centered around being adopted and is all part of the adoptee experience. Read the rest of this entry »

 
8 Comments

Posted by on September 14, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , ,