I don’t have a problem with the article at all, just one statement that is factually incorrect and something I’ve seen happening far too often; this desire to pretend that knowledge about what adoptees need didn’t exist until now, and that it is news.
“We are discovering that information about a child’s past is so incredibly important to them and that purposely withholding information about their origin can be incredibly damaging; it can create a void they may spend a lifetime trying to fill.”
I stumbled on an interesting study from 2011 on Adoptees and how our “Adoption Entrance Narratives” may shape how we view our adoption. It’s relatively short and starts off on how adoption researchers rely heavily on minute differences between the adopted and non-adopted children, and how they need to take a more nuanced understanding of the self-concept variables in the adopted population. (Ya think…)
It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the the topic “Is Adopted” or “Was Adopted” discussed on an Adoptive Parent Facebook Page. It amused me after a quick scan of Adoptive Parent replies using “Was Adopted” and how being adopted didn’t define their child, with a few who had more nuanced answers to give. The irony of Adoptive Parents being on an Adoptive Parent Facebook page talking mainly about all things Adoption and Adoptive Parenting seems to have escaped them; as most say they use “Was Adopted” and some expanded that it happened in the past and doesn’t define their child or their family.
I’m one of the “lucky” adoptees from the era referred to as the Baby Scoop Era (BSE). I’m lucky for all the reasons listed below and more. I also wish I never needed to be “lucky” in the first place.
And my use of the term Lucky is not giving any non-adopted person permission to use it in regards to an adopted person.
There was an article posted that garnered lots of comments in a closed FB group I’m in, none of the comments were good that I remember. The post was pulled down from the site it was published on. You can read about the specifics on Lori’s post, see link below.
I wrote this post about 10 years ago? I reposted it in 2015, not much has changed, so I’m reposting the 2015 post, again. Do take the time to read the comments from the 2015 post below.
And a quick shout-out to everyone who comments, you make my day when you add to the conversation, a thank you to those stopping by to read, plus an invite to add your voice too.
First comment by Allison close to top of the comments, the comment that spurred all the comments below, I’m sure I missed some but how ignorant it is to spoil what was a story about a reunion between mother and son.
Allison “Put up”?? Like a case of bottled peaches? What an antiquated phrase! “Placed for adoption” or “placed with a family” are much more loving.”
John to Allison “I agree 100%. I also hate it when people say “gave it up for adoption.”
The post below is from 2018 and a lot has happened in the intervening years, especially the last couple of years. I think a refresher on this subject is necessary because I’m seeing this happen more frequently online, minor edits and formatting have changed from the original.
I was browsing through Adoption posts this morning with similar PAL phrasing and was struck by how awkward “my child, who was adopted” sounds. To me, it highlights the child’s adoption status in a look at me, look at him way, that “my adopted child” doesn’t.
So I’m asking you my friends (or strangers) to weigh in on such an important question of the day. 🙂
Feel free to tell me I’m wrong, right, or what you think it should be assuming adoption is relevant to the statement being made.
Post is from 2014 about a reunion, wedding, adoptive parents weighing in on facebook. I just checked and that FB post is still up on the Today Show page if you want to get the fuller understanding of the angst in the adoptive parent community just click the link in the original post.
After you read the 2014 post above, scroll down and read the comments on the blog post, you won’t regret it.
Argh, words aren’t working today, hope the above makes sense.
“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough”
― Walt Whitman
Commenting
Oct 2014: You may speak freely, but please try to use words that everyone can hear about your individual story or view. If you don't, those who can actually benefit won't hear it, I want to see change in my lifetime. I may refuse to approve certain comments.
Elvis Presley ( 1960 ) Elvis Presley completes his two-year stint is discharged from the US Army. Bank Holiday to Save Banks 5th March ( 1933 ) : To help stop the run on US banks U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt announced a four-day "bank holiday" . All U.S. banks would close effective March 6 to help stop Americans from withdrawing their money […]
