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Category Archives: adoptive parents

Now is not the time

I often use this blog as a way to vent, join my disjointed thoughts into something cohesive.  Most of these will sit in my drafts and never be published.  Yesterday I wrote one of those posts never intended to be published, today someone brought the discussion back to front of mind, and sure enough, what upset me yesterday, is still happening today, so I’m going to publish my thoughts from yesterday.

Advice to *some* adoptive parents, please stop with the me, me, what about me, regarding the title adoptive mom being used in news reports about the horrific tragedy that occurred in Florida.  Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on February 18, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What made you the expert on which adoptees can be heard?

If you know me well, the title tells you this is a post where I’m going to vent a little, blow off steam that’s been percolating for nigh onto a week.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Life can be complicated and overwhelming at times

Daily contradictions in a life filled with complicated realities.  Painful memories have been triggered by the news that push to intrude into my mind instead of staying firmly in the past.  Simple welcome memories that pop into my head that bring me joy in the middle of a mundane task in one moment, to  fear of what lies ahead, to sheer awe at what someone did, sometimes even for me.  Days when I’m caught unaware by a rush of nostalgia that washes over me sparked by a simple object or picture that caught my eye, quickly dampened by the collision of other memories and knowledge of that time intruding to remind me that life really wasn’t that simple, or good. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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New Years Eve thoughts…

I woke this morning and the clock told me it was 4:36 am, about the time I usually get up.  While I was waiting for my coffee to be ready, I stood at the sink and looked out the kitchen window into the darkness filled with shadows that I know are the massive trees in my neighborhood, highlighted by the warm glow from the street lights.  It’s beautiful and peaceful and I don’t like sleeping in and missing this time of day, nor later watching as the day begins to dawn, and later still watching the fog roll in.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Simple primer for reading this blog…

The other day an Adoptive Parent left a comment on a post detailing that I had enormous problems bonding with my adoptive parents and how I demonize adoption as the source of all my pain and woes.  Say what?  Funny thing happened though, it didn’t upset me like it would have in the past, whether that’s because it’s become old hat, or because I’ve come to the conclusion that most folks can’t separate “adoption” from “being adopted” from “family” from “feelings” and get upset that I don’t use “disclaimers”, which I believe may have been part of the reason the comment was left. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Family tree and adoption collide

First off, thank you all for reading the guest post by Tiffany, the shares and number of visitors tell me how much everyone appreciated the story told, the comments were also appreciated and the conversation good.  If you missed it, read it here.  My hope is that Tiffany will write other posts here as well.

This last week I’ve filled in gaps in Dad’s family tree by researching the siblings lines of dad’s direct line ancestors, there’s plenty when you go back 400 years and I’ve been hit or miss in this area because they all seem to have had 10+ kids, who then had 10+ kids.  Having said that, until now, I thought us kids were the only adopted ones in the family, but it turns out there was another adoptee.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 15, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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The journey so far being an adoptive mom

This post is by Tiffany one of my friends I met on an adoption forum years ago.  She’s fierce about what’s right, what’s wrong, she’s also an adoptive mom.  A while ago, I asked her to write a post that might help others understand the complexity and challenges of adoption.  She said she’d tell her story and see if that helped.  This is a long-read so grab a beverage before digging in.  This is a must read.  Thank you my friend.

************** Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 7, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Similar and different…

Dear Adoptive Parents and those waiting to adopt,

I just had a thought on something adoptive parents and adoptees have in common, and it’s something I don’t think people get, but lets back-up and start with the basics.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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The reason why, the reason why it is different

Some, perhaps even many adoptees grumble about hopeful and adoptive parents grabbing onto the latest happy domestic infant adoption story, sharing it widely, making sappy comments, and I know for me, it always triggers an immediate reaction that starts with ugh. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Feeling worthy of being loved…

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I ran across this quote and others by Stephen Chbosky and they spoke to me about adoption feelings, despite not having anything to do with adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 4, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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A memoir I want to read, have you read it?

I’m compiling a list of books I want to try to read this winter.

Review: Ghost of Sangju: A Memoir of Reconciliation from Harlow’s Monkey back in 2015 Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Could it simply be overwhelming feelings…

One of the never-ending conversations adoptive parents have is when the child’s mother of birth cancels, or just doesn’t show for an arranged get-together, despite having promised to be there.  I can’t say with any certainty, but I do wonder if it’s more the overwhelming feelings that keeps them from keeping the commitment. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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