RSS

Category Archives: adoptive parents

If you don’t know adoption history…

I don’t have a problem with the article at all, just one statement that is factually incorrect and something I’ve seen happening far too often; this desire to pretend that knowledge about what adoptees need didn’t exist until now, and that it is news.

“We are discovering that information about a child’s past is so incredibly important to them and that purposely withholding information about their origin can be incredibly damaging; it can create a void they may spend a lifetime trying to fill.”

Read the rest of this entry »
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 18, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , ,

Adoption Narratives

I stumbled on an interesting study from 2011 on Adoptees and how our “Adoption Entrance Narratives” may shape how we view our adoption. It’s relatively short and starts off on how adoption researchers rely heavily on minute differences between the adopted and non-adopted children, and how they need to take a more nuanced understanding of the self-concept variables in the adopted population. (Ya think…)

Read the rest of this entry »

 
8 Comments

Posted by on September 11, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , ,

Moving past Positive Adoptive Language

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the the topic “Is Adopted” or “Was Adopted” discussed on an Adoptive Parent Facebook Page. It amused me after a quick scan of Adoptive Parent replies using “Was Adopted” and how being adopted didn’t define their child, with a few who had more nuanced answers to give. The irony of Adoptive Parents being on an Adoptive Parent Facebook page talking mainly about all things Adoption and Adoptive Parenting seems to have escaped them; as most say they use “Was Adopted” and some expanded that it happened in the past and doesn’t define their child or their family.

Read the rest of this entry »
 
6 Comments

Posted by on September 3, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Lucky

I’m one of the “lucky” adoptees from the era referred to as the Baby Scoop Era (BSE). I’m lucky for all the reasons listed below and more. I also wish I never needed to be “lucky” in the first place.

And my use of the term Lucky is not giving any non-adopted person permission to use it in regards to an adopted person.

Read the rest of this entry »
 
22 Comments

Posted by on September 1, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Who is the client in adoption? Who should be?

There was an article posted that garnered lots of comments in a closed FB group I’m in, none of the comments were good that I remember. The post was pulled down from the site it was published on. You can read about the specifics on Lori’s post, see link below.

Read the rest of this entry »
 
20 Comments

Posted by on August 24, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , ,

From the archives: The Art of Dismissing the adoptees voice

I wrote this post about 10 years ago? I reposted it in 2015, not much has changed, so I’m reposting the 2015 post, again. Do take the time to read the comments from the 2015 post below.

The Art of Dismissing the adoptee’s voice…

And a quick shout-out to everyone who comments, you make my day when you add to the conversation, a thank you to those stopping by to read, plus an invite to add your voice too.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on August 17, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Dear Adoptive Parents – Just Stop

FB post by Fox 13 News Ohio woman finds son she put up for adoptee 33 years ago through 23andMe

First comment by Allison close to top of the comments, the comment that spurred all the comments below, I’m sure I missed some but how ignorant it is to spoil what was a story about a reunion between mother and son.

Allison “Put up”?? Like a case of bottled peaches? What an antiquated phrase! “Placed for adoption” or “placed with a family” are much more loving.”

John to Allison “I agree 100%. I also hate it when people say “gave it up for adoption.”

Read the rest of this entry »
 
24 Comments

Posted by on August 15, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Nip it in the bud if someone says it.

It isn’t okay to say “family has come out of the woodwork” when you are hoping to adopt the child you’ve been fostering.

It just isn’t.

Read the rest of this entry »
 
6 Comments

Posted by on July 3, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Adoption needs to do better

We come from different generations.

Both lived in the same geographical area.

Each brought up in different religions.

Each raised with different cultural traditions and stories.

Read the rest of this entry »
 
13 Comments

Posted by on June 26, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Othering Adoptees

The post below is from 2018 and a lot has happened in the intervening years, especially the last couple of years. I think a refresher on this subject is necessary because I’m seeing this happen more frequently online, minor edits and formatting have changed from the original.

Read the rest of this entry »
 
12 Comments

Posted by on June 18, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

PAL Question

I was browsing through Adoption posts this morning with similar PAL phrasing and was struck by how awkward “my child, who was adopted” sounds. To me, it highlights the child’s adoption status in a look at me, look at him way, that “my adopted child” doesn’t.

So I’m asking you my friends (or strangers) to weigh in on such an important question of the day. 🙂

Feel free to tell me I’m wrong, right, or what you think it should be assuming adoption is relevant to the statement being made.

Wishing all a good day.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on June 14, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , ,

From 2014 – Good grief, this gets so tiring…

Good grief, this gets so tiring…

Post is from 2014 about a reunion, wedding, adoptive parents weighing in on facebook. I just checked and that FB post is still up on the Today Show page if you want to get the fuller understanding of the angst in the adoptive parent community just click the link in the original post.

After you read the 2014 post above, scroll down and read the comments on the blog post, you won’t regret it.

Argh, words aren’t working today, hope the above makes sense.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on June 11, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , ,