When you talk about finding your family by birth…

From 2016 – Read the post and then read the comments.

 

The Abortion or Orphanage Comeback

Originally written in 2010, I’ve made edits and added current happenings, including a twitter thread by USA Today. 2010 was a time when adoptees were starting to speak up online and adoptive parents weren’t liking it much, so many reacted badly. Since the Alito draft was leaked, the topic of abortion and adoption has seen a resurgence online, and the vitriol against any adoptee who speaks critically of adoption and/or is fine with abortion as a choice is swift and harsh.

 

Adoption Needs A Makeover

It’s time for adoption to stop being a marketplace and to return to it’s roots where it was an option of last resort, but only after every other option had failed. And yes, I can see people get upset with the term marketplace, so lets talk about it, because, it is the reality today.

 

The lie always finds the light in the end

From 2018 – The lie always finds the light in the end

While this post has nothing to do with adoption, it has everything to do with adoption and learning the moral of the story, that the lie always rises to the surface one day.

 

Microaggressions in Adoption

Adoption Microaggressions Parents Need to Know About podcast on Creating A Family with guest Dr. Amanda Baden, interesting and worth your time, it ends talking about Chimanda Ngozi Adichie and The Danger of the Single Story (her Ted Talk on it is linked below).

 

From 2016: Dealing with the loss of your parents

Not copying the post as I usually do as the comments would be lost.

Dealing with the loss of your parents…

 

“I know an adoptee who loves being adopted!”

And?

And yes, this is a grumpy rant thanks to people who try every possible option to get pregnant to have “one of their own”, and when it doesn’t work, suddenly think adoption is the perfect solution, and only a baby will do, and how beautiful adoption is now they can’t have their own.

 

Deep thoughts this morning

We are up every day long before dawn even thinks of showing up. This morning, after I made a cup of coffee, I stood at the kitchen sink drinking my coffee and looked out the window mesmerized by the dense fog that had rolled in, the beauty it offers in the dark, the way it obscures and also softens reality, yet doesn’t fully obscure the physical shapes present, nor cover the eerie golden glow from the street lights, or the shadows of the trees.

 

Twitter thread upset me yesterday.

As soon as an adoptee dares to disagree with the savior narrative woven into adoption, and specifically transracial adoption, the adoptees assumed lack of gratefulness becomes a target used, because, you know, we weren’t wanted and were saved and all. And sooner rather than later the old trope would you rather have been aborted bubbles up to the surface as well.

Every. Single. Time.

 

Dear pro-life would be adopter…

Originally posted 21 Sept 2015

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good. Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

She’s not ready to adopt…

It takes a lot of empathy, being able, and willing, to see all the different sides in adoption. To see the trauma the other sides go through, so you get what you want most, a baby. Some people never get there, and that’s okay, provided they don’t adopt.

To me, to be ready to be adoptive parents, it takes…

 

Dear Adoption Agencies

Please do your research before putting out inaccurate articles about adoptions that happened in the past. Trust me, there’s a wealth of adoption history just waiting to be read on the internet and it costs nothing but your willingness to delve into the history of adoption. The quote below comes from a current adoption agency website.

 

Adoption Triggers

Adoption writers, adoption meme makers, adoption agencies, facilitators, consultants, people wanting to adopt an infant, and whoever else I’ve left off that does the following.