If you know me well, the title tells you this is a post where I’m going to vent a little, blow off steam that’s been percolating for nigh onto a week. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: considering adoption
Daily contradictions in a life filled with complicated realities. Painful memories have been triggered by the news that push to intrude into my mind instead of staying firmly in the past. Simple welcome memories that pop into my head that bring me joy in the middle of a mundane task in one moment, to fear of what lies ahead, to sheer awe at what someone did, sometimes even for me. Days when I’m caught unaware by a rush of nostalgia that washes over me sparked by a simple object or picture that caught my eye, quickly dampened by the collision of other memories and knowledge of that time intruding to remind me that life really wasn’t that simple, or good. Read the rest of this entry »
I woke this morning and the clock told me it was 4:36 am, about the time I usually get up. While I was waiting for my coffee to be ready, I stood at the sink and looked out the kitchen window into the darkness filled with shadows that I know are the massive trees in my neighborhood, highlighted by the warm glow from the street lights. It’s beautiful and peaceful and I don’t like sleeping in and missing this time of day, nor later watching as the day begins to dawn, and later still watching the fog roll in. Read the rest of this entry »
I watched a discussion play out early this week on an adoption board on BabyCenter, one of the few boards I still enjoy reading because they normally don’t deal in fluff, are adamant that you can’t be shady, and face the reality that adoption is hard, but sometimes it’s needed. I popped in this week and one caught my eye, I read it, and it’s still in my mind today; an expectant mother wanted to learn about the adoption and the process. She asked whether people adopted for charity or because they wanted to be parents and other good questions. Before I get to the question that tipped a few over, I want to note that it was just a few that seem to be aghast with what she wanted, and others offered solid advice and support. Read the rest of this entry »
Some, perhaps even many adoptees grumble about hopeful and adoptive parents grabbing onto the latest happy domestic infant adoption story, sharing it widely, making sappy comments, and I know for me, it always triggers an immediate reaction that starts with ugh. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m thankful for having parents who stood up and said no this is wrong when they saw it. I’m not saying they were perfect, they were strong in what they believed in, strong in speaking their minds. They taught us that it was good to stand up for what is right and push back when you saw something wrong. I wish I was as strong as they were, I’m not, and I’m not thankful for that lack of strength, moral character, clarity that made them who they were, but I try to speak up when I see something I find egregious happening in adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
One of the never-ending conversations adoptive parents have is when the child’s mother of birth cancels, or just doesn’t show for an arranged get-together, despite having promised to be there. I can’t say with any certainty, but I do wonder if it’s more the overwhelming feelings that keeps them from keeping the commitment. Read the rest of this entry »
The National Council for Adoption has concerns on adoptees using DNA tests to find their families of birth and get health information. Read the rest of this entry »
I started this post looking for a quote on identity. A quote that would describe something so fundamental as needing to know your family of origin, the why’s, the who am I, the missing part of who we are. Let me know if the quote below resonates with you. Read the rest of this entry »
Last July, there was a guy on twitter that sparked this post. And no, not even a few months later am I a fan of naming folks, would rather just talk about the attitude. He blocked me 🙂 and checking later, he’d deleted at least one of his tweets, I also double checked to make sure I’ve portrayed it accurately. This guy, Billy, was upset that adoptees in New York want the same right others born in New York have; access to, and the right to receive a copy of their original birth certificate (OBC), he also seems upset that any adoptee anywhere could have that right. Read the rest of this entry »
Lori has a post up that is a letter written by a first mom re adoptive mom not doing well with the reunion. Go read it and put in your 2 cents.
I commented already on Lori’s post under TAO.
If you will, come back and answer this question:
What is the protocol, etiquette, who should be the leader in an adoption reunion, answer below and why.
I don’t know how many adoptees have found once they receive their Original Birth Certificate (OBC) that their mother didn’t name them. I know there are many of us out there, hoping against hope our OBC will show we were named. Instead, for many of us we are Baby Girl and our mother’s surname, Baby Boy, Unnamed Infant, whatever choice of words the officials decided to use at the time. Each time I take part in (or read) conversations about that happening to yet another adoptee, I silently scream the following. Read the rest of this entry »