Just a wee bit late…

The National Council for Adoption has concerns on adoptees using DNA tests to find their families of birth and get health information. 

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A quote and a couple of good reads with a twist…

I started this post looking for a quote on identity.  A quote that would describe something so fundamental as needing to know your family of origin, the why’s, the who am I, the missing part of who we are.  Let me know if the quote below resonates with you. 

 

So, there was this guy on twitter…

Last July, there was a guy on twitter that sparked this post.  And no, not even a few months later am I a fan of naming folks, would rather just talk about the attitude.  He blocked me 🙂 and checking later, he’d deleted at least one of his tweets, I also double checked to make sure I’ve portrayed it accurately.  This guy, Billy, was upset that adoptees in New York want the same right others born in New York have; access to, and the right to receive a copy of their original birth certificate (OBC), he also seems upset that any adoptee anywhere could have that right.

 

Which role is in charge of the reunion, or does it matter?

Lori has a post up that is a letter written by a first mom re adoptive mom not doing well with the reunion.  Go read it and put in your 2 cents.

Birth Mom: Help Me Write Letter to Son’s Adoptive Mom

I commented already on Lori’s post under TAO.

If you will, come back and answer this question:

What is the protocol, etiquette, who should be the leader in an adoption reunion, answer below and why.

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Dear Expectant Moms considering adoption (aka Birthmothers)

I don’t know how many adoptees have found once they receive their Original Birth Certificate (OBC) that their mother didn’t name them.  I know there are many of us out there, hoping against hope our OBC will show we were named.  Instead, for many of us we are Baby Girl and our mother’s surname, Baby Boy, Unnamed Infant, whatever choice of words the officials decided to use at the time.  Each time I take part in (or read) conversations about that happening to yet another adoptee, I silently scream the following.

 

Judging crediblity and worth in adoption circles

Mixed adoption conversations, whether it is another adoptee, a first mom or adoptive mom that bluntly asks, or hints at wanting to know if: a) you’re grateful, b) if you love your parents, c) if you’d choose to be adopted, d) who you consider to be your real parents.  Now, most aren’t that blunt, but it seems like most want to know the answers to those questions.  Almost as though, how you answer those questions / tell your story determines whether they will listen to what you have to say, or write you off, there is no middle of the road, it’s either/or, and it’s wrong.

 

Archives 2015 – Dear pro-life would be adopter…

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there.  I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt.  I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her.  Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

 

Worth the time…

Talking Adoption, Identity and Independence with Darryl McDaniels, DMC of RUN DMC by April Dinwoodie

Covers so much…let it sink in…

 

That whole Meant To Be thing…

From my understanding this may be part of someone’s faith and I’m not trying to disrespect that, but delve respectfully into how problematic that can be in adoption.  Nor am I trying to disrespect parents who feel that way down the road that their family was what their family was supposed to be, that seems different somehow.

 

Who knew she was adopted.

I often search for quotes on a topic, find one that resonates and then read about the person who said it.  It’s an interesting and enlightening way to learn about people.  This morning, I started with Origins, then Wisdom, then decided I’d try to find an Adoption quote that didn’t try to make adoption better than biological families, wasn’t wrapped up in destiny, wasn’t magical, pre-ordained, or mystical, just something you’d expect from a normal conversation from someone in adoption. 

 

Trying to get back on track and talk about what’s important…

I’ve had a hard time this year being able to focus on writing a post about any one subject, I can write snippets, but being able to shut off all the distractions in today’s world has often proven beyond my ability.  One thought that keeps repeating itself every time I see what’s happening in the world is “I’m glad mom and dad aren’t here to see what is happening”.  A thought I never imagined I’d ever have, let alone being willing to say out loud, but I am glad they aren’t here to see the bizarre, ugly, mean-spirited happenings in this world.  It’s ugly out there and I don’t know if it can be fixed.  Yet, the other day I reached out to you, and you responded that proved there are still good people willing to reach back.  Thank you my friends, those that commented, those that took the time to read, you ground me, all of you, you make sure I don’t feel alone in a world that has overnight become very foreign.  Now, enough of me blathering, lets talk about something else…

 

Two different voices, two different subjects, both important.

Adoptive parents need to read to understand, hear what is being said, educate themselves on the hard…

It’s all inter-connected, being adopted adds additional layers…

Adoption, Sex, And The Pursuit Of Love: Why Adoptive Parents Need To Talk To Their Kids About Sex

We must be able to talk about suicide and adoption, being adopted, I know of three that happened this month…

Today I went to a Funeral

There’s more to being adopted than rainbows and sunshine, pretending otherwise does a disservice to adoptees.