Because adoptive parents say adoption is so different today…

I’ve decided to add a new tag: Adoptive Parents say the darndest things. 

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Naming in adoption

There’s no lack of conversations on naming and changing a child’s name in the online world of adoption. There’s also no lack of *reasons* why a child’s name should (or must) be changed. Here’s what I’ve learned reading those conversations about how I view names.

 

Triggers in adoption

I think everyone has triggers that can immediately set you off. I have them, although the older I get, the less I seem to care about the ones that intrude on daily life, more of a it is what it is and move on. Yet, I still can’t do that with adoption triggers, they sit with me, sometimes I’m not aware they are still there until the next time they show themselves. This post is mainly about one adoption trigger; and it’s a ridiculously ignorant adoption meme going around on general and adoption FB pages.

 

From 2018: For Prospective/Hopeful Adoptive Parents

You may have been told to put yourself out there, pass along your adoption profile, get friends and family to pass on the message that you want to adopt. This has been a standard for a long time.

 

From 2013: Adoption is always wonderful to some and never to be questioned

The post below was created in 2013, and yet, it’s still relevent today because people are still being cheerleaders for an adoption they know nothing about, except it’s an adoption. Minor edits done.

 

I’m tired, but I’ll keep trying…

I’ve lost faith that most private adoption (DIA and DYI/DIA) will ever change to be child centered. Based on what I see, there seems to be little to no rigor in requiring people wanting to adopt be of a certain caliber, or have the ability to step outside of their wants, as long as they can tick specific boxes they get their homestudy approved, regardless if they are AP material or not. And when that happens only the industry wins, the child surely doesn’t.

 

In a mood…

And if what I’m saying below doesn’t apply to you, your choices, your adoption, then it doesn’t apply to you and yours, no need for a #notall. And if you can’t tell from the title and opening statement; I’m right pissed off and deeply saddened and disappointed at the same time.

 

Archives 2011: It’s natural to want to know where you came from…

“People will not look forward to posterity, who never looked backward to their ancestors” ~ Edmund Burke [1729-97]

 

Consolation prize?

Upfront I need to say I’ve never felt this way about my adoption and we all were Plan B, but it sure seems whatever the verbiage used, that many adoptees are merely consolation prizes the adopting parents finally settled for. And I see the risk of adoptees being merely consolation prizes growing, not diminishing.

 

Click-bait adoption stories

I want to talk about the impact for the one adopted to be subjected to the never-ending promotion of adoption in the media, the message it sends to their friends, families, professionals and even co-workers. It’s nigh impossible to avoid, regardless of how much you try to tune it out.

 

2014 Archive: Closure…is it what people think it is?

I’ve been thinking about what closure is for a long time. Can you actually close the door on your past, or event, and walk into your future unscathed? I can’t. Every single event in my life that touched me so deeply that one would seek closure for – has molded and shaped me into who I am today.

 

Yep, it’s that month again…

Dear Friends, how are you doing this month? Were you dreading it as much as I was? I’ve been disconnected in many ways, specifically in not feeling in the mood to venture into the fray this month creates, staying in small trusted circles until now…