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Tag Archives: considering adoption

Trust should go both ways in domestic infant adoption

I watched a discussion play out early this week on an adoption board on BabyCenter, one of the few boards I still enjoy reading because they normally don’t deal in fluff, are adamant that you can’t be shady, and face the reality that adoption is hard, but sometimes it’s needed. I popped in this week and one caught my eye, I read it, and it’s still in my mind today; an expectant mother wanted to learn about the adoption and the process.  She asked whether people adopted for charity or because they wanted to be parents and other good questions.  Before I get to the question that tipped a few over, I want to note that it was just a few that seem to be aghast with what she wanted, and others offered solid advice and support. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on November 26, 2017 in Adoption

 

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The reason why, the reason why it is different

Some, perhaps even many adoptees grumble about hopeful and adoptive parents grabbing onto the latest happy domestic infant adoption story, sharing it widely, making sappy comments, and I know for me, it always triggers an immediate reaction that starts with ugh. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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A What I’m thankful for, What I’m not thankful for related to adoption post…

I’m thankful for having parents who stood up and said no this is wrong when they saw it.  I’m not saying they were perfect, they were strong in what they believed in, strong in speaking their minds.  They taught us that it was good to stand up for what is right and push back when you saw something wrong.  I wish I was as strong as they were, I’m not, and I’m not thankful for that lack of strength, moral character, clarity that made them who they were, but I try to speak up when I see something I find egregious happening in adoption.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 22, 2017 in Adoption

 

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Could it simply be overwhelming feelings…

One of the never-ending conversations adoptive parents have is when the child’s mother of birth cancels, or just doesn’t show for an arranged get-together, despite having promised to be there.  I can’t say with any certainty, but I do wonder if it’s more the overwhelming feelings that keeps them from keeping the commitment. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Just a wee bit late…

The National Council for Adoption has concerns on adoptees using DNA tests to find their families of birth and get health information.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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A quote and a couple of good reads with a twist…

I started this post looking for a quote on identity.  A quote that would describe something so fundamental as needing to know your family of origin, the why’s, the who am I, the missing part of who we are.  Let me know if the quote below resonates with you.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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So, there was this guy on twitter…

Last July, there was a guy on twitter that sparked this post.  And no, not even a few months later am I a fan of naming folks, would rather just talk about the attitude.  He blocked me 🙂 and checking later, he’d deleted at least one of his tweets, I also double checked to make sure I’ve portrayed it accurately.  This guy, Billy, was upset that adoptees in New York want the same right others born in New York have; access to, and the right to receive a copy of their original birth certificate (OBC), he also seems upset that any adoptee anywhere could have that right. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Which role is in charge of the reunion, or does it matter?

Lori has a post up that is a letter written by a first mom re adoptive mom not doing well with the reunion.  Go read it and put in your 2 cents.

Birth Mom: Help Me Write Letter to Son’s Adoptive Mom

I commented already on Lori’s post under TAO.

If you will, come back and answer this question:

What is the protocol, etiquette, who should be the leader in an adoption reunion, answer below and why.

Cheers!

 

 

 

 
6 Comments

Posted by on August 23, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Dear Expectant Moms considering adoption (aka Birthmothers)

I don’t know how many adoptees have found once they receive their Original Birth Certificate (OBC) that their mother didn’t name them.  I know there are many of us out there, hoping against hope our OBC will show we were named.  Instead, for many of us we are Baby Girl and our mother’s surname, Baby Boy, Unnamed Infant, whatever choice of words the officials decided to use at the time.  Each time I take part in (or read) conversations about that happening to yet another adoptee, I silently scream the following. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Judging crediblity and worth in adoption circles

Mixed adoption conversations, whether it is another adoptee, a first mom or adoptive mom that bluntly asks, or hints at wanting to know if: a) you’re grateful, b) if you love your parents, c) if you’d choose to be adopted, d) who you consider to be your real parents.  Now, most aren’t that blunt, but it seems like most want to know the answers to those questions.  Almost as though, how you answer those questions / tell your story determines whether they will listen to what you have to say, or write you off, there is no middle of the road, it’s either/or, and it’s wrong. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Archives 2015 – Dear pro-life would be adopter…

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there.  I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt.  I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her.  Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 6, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Worth the time…

Talking Adoption, Identity and Independence with Darryl McDaniels, DMC of RUN DMC by April Dinwoodie

Covers so much…let it sink in…

 
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Posted by on July 2, 2017 in Adoption

 

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