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Tag Archives: expectations

This schooling adoptees is getting really old

Argh, another article.  Today, my role as Adoptive Mom is to school all you adoptees about what really happens when you reunite, despite not having reunited myself because I’m not adopted.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
22 Comments

Posted by on May 8, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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The E word

It seems bringing up the E word in adoption is wrong, silencing, makes some want to runaway as fast as possible.  I’d even say it’s close to a swear word to some in adoption.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What if “the vocal adoptees” are right?

The theory: That most adoptees are just living their lives and those who are vocal are not the norm…aka angry adoptees, had a bad experience, ungrateful, mal-adjusted, anti-adoption, etc.,… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on July 31, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Expectations of gratitude…

“Hi there, how are you?”  “I’m good, thanks, how are you all doing?”Not bad, busy with work and the kids”… Does this sound fairly typical to you when you meet up with an acquaintance you haven’t seen for a while?  Polite chit-chat that seems to be a ritual of putting on a good face that says nothing to see here, carry on…

Read the rest of this entry »

 
25 Comments

Posted by on August 1, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Cut the umbilical cord…

By TAO

Every adoption story whether it’s an adoption that goes through, or a contested adoption, seems to need to include details about who “cut the umbilical cord”.  Almost as if it grants automatic rights of some sort.  It has even worked its way into court cases, transcripts, and rulings for some reason I can’t fathom.  Something that seems to be held out as proof that the baby was meant to be theirs and the bond they have.

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Perhaps I just don’t get it…

By TAO

A comment by an adult adoptee on this Huff Post article on CNN Michaela Pereira Opens Up About Her Adoption…

I watched the segment yesterday, and thought she did a great job describing her feelings about both sides of her. The pull to know where she came from – regardless of how wonderful her family is.  No digs in either direction, just honest heartfelt feelings of an adult adoptee. Read the rest of this entry »

 
22 Comments

Posted by on February 12, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Scholarships for Birthmothers…

By TAO

I have deep concerns on this concept, and have since I first read about it.  It would be one thing if all expectant mothers who went to a specific agency for help were entitled to apply for the scholarship, regardless if they chose adoption or parenting.  The concern I see is that the requirement to apply for the scholarship is that you had to have chosen, and placed, your baby for adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
20 Comments

Posted by on January 27, 2014 in Adoption, Ethics

 

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One reason conversations between Adoptive Parents and Adoptees fail…

By TAO

A discussion was/is happening on Creating A Family post that featured an adult adoptee comment on another post.  Confused?  Dawn received a comment by an adult adoptee from a closed adoption on whether open adoption was a good thing.  I think many adoptees have thought about it, I certainly did.  I joined the conversation and yet it took a while, and many comments later – for some to understand what I was saying.  Of course, that is one of the reasons I blog is to get my complicated, contradictory thoughts to make sense to others and that takes time, reflection, revision…  Anyway… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Adoptees and donor conceived seem to have much in common…

By TAO

Insomnia struck again, so, I just watched the last two episodes of Generation Cryo.  I didn’t watch the series, just the last two episodes.  What I don’t know, is, if they realize that there could indeed be more than just the 15 who signed up on the donor sibling registry – and whether that was part of the discussion earlier in the series, because realistically, with the number of parents who tell vs don’t tell – the likelihood of more siblings is there, unless, the cryo bank knows those were the only families, and, know they were the only source. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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My Positive Adoption Story

By Shadow

By request, from a commenter, on another post, we’ve been asked to write about positive adoption stories. The request and the question asked by many potential adoptive parents, as well as, adoptive parents, for positive adoption stories always puzzles me. Why does adoption have to be either negative, or positive? I don’t understand, so I have to ask, “What, exactly, is a positive adoption story?” Read the rest of this entry »

 
 

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Ted Talk “The Danger of the Single Story”

I have done four posts about this Ted Talk over the years – and I can’t seem to stop myself from posting it again for November Adoption Awareness Month…

I don’t think it matters if you are in an open-domestic adoption – right through to a closed international adoption – what you know about the family of birth is limited to what you have been told.  (video at the end of the post.)

Chimanda Ngozi Adichie – “The Danger of the Single Story” Read the rest of this entry »

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 1, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Feelings…

By TAO

I really enjoyed this post Free-Falling Into the Baby Rage Zone: Another Adoptee Epiphany by Rebecca at Lost Daughters, reading Christine Murphy’s memoir Taking Down the Wall and being triggered by the words written.  Words or feelings that mirror in one way or another – what so many adoptees speak of – feelings of abandonment, betrayal, rejection, rage, anger, loss.  It all relates back to the separation of mother and child, and, the belief that mothers are supposed to fight for, and, protect their children whatever the cost.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
15 Comments

Posted by on October 19, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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