RSS

Tag Archives: biological family

Archives 2011: It’s natural to want to know where you came from…

“People will not look forward to posterity, who never looked backward to their ancestors” ~ Edmund Burke [1729-97]

Read the rest of this entry »

Advertisements
 
3 Comments

Posted by on May 21, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

You won’t gain wisdom from yes or no questions

Seems like I’m always writing posts to adopting and adoptive parents, and yet, and here I am again on the same quest. It’s a new day and new try in finding the words you may be able to hear and understand the disconnect I see everywhere I look between adoptive parents and adoptees. Read the rest of this entry »

 
10 Comments

Posted by on April 10, 2019 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , ,

Birth Child Label

I got myself twisted into knots this week. Why I allowed myself to be triggered probably comes down to the fact I’ve been on a strict no-stress diet for what seems like forever. Positive Adoption Language or PAL was the cause of my lapse of living stress free. First, for those reading, I don’t take issue with all the language listed, but my word, some (or most) of the “rules” about adoptees needs to change, and the change needs to led by adoptees; adoptive parents, birth parents, adoption professionals can weigh in, but it’s ultimately the adoptees who should decide the language used about them. Read the rest of this entry »

 
17 Comments

Posted by on March 24, 2019 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Hard birthday thoughts and feelings…

Fair warning, swear words and pain included…

Trauma. We all have trauma at points throughout our life and there is nothing we can do to escape that, but I’m getting tired of having that visitor keep visiting, especially on the day I was born, a day meant to celebrate, a day that also happened recently. Another birthday that never fails to reminds me that I’m different, special in an ugly way of unworthy of even being acknowledged by some family members from both sides. Pain from the realty of what happened the day I was born, left, and all that has happened since that fateful day another bastard was born. Read the rest of this entry »

 
24 Comments

Posted by on February 6, 2019 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , ,

2014 Archive: Closure…is it what people think it is?

I’ve been thinking about what closure is for a long time. Can you actually close the door on your past, or event, and walk into your future unscathed? I can’t. Every single event in my life that touched me so deeply that one would seek closure for – has molded and shaped me into who I am today.
Read the rest of this entry »

 
8 Comments

Posted by on January 25, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Sisters separated

I’ve posted this story elsewhere of sisters who were separated and adopted into different homes; the response was typical, shallow best describes the reaction and that’s the problem I see within the adoption community when it comes to the adoptee. Whatever the back story is for the one adopted, even if egregious, people in the adoption world typically only offer how lucky they were to find each other. Read the rest of this entry »

 
3 Comments

Posted by on January 17, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

In the land where adoption is win-win-win

An article was posted that had Tummy Mommy in the title, I knew I should avoid it, the title told me it would make me upset. I clicked anyway. Dumb, dumb idea.

I read it. I read it right to the bitter end. Read the rest of this entry »

 
10 Comments

Posted by on November 21, 2018 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Processing adoption over the years – input requested

The intent of this post is similar to this post Looking for adoptee input on searching as the response was amazing and I thank each one of you who took the time to contribute. This time, it’s to offer a space for any adoptees who wish to describe the different times in their lives when they processed being adopted and how their feelings and views changed. What life events that triggered reflection, changes based on life stages/ages, understanding of adoption practices, or… Read the rest of this entry »

 
11 Comments

Posted by on October 17, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Do you really need to share your adoption story to all?

Dear people adopting or even have already adopted – I watched one of the thousands of adoption video’s this morning. This is how I feel after watching it. Please listen to my words and consider them.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
3 Comments

Posted by on September 20, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Regrets are prefectly normal

Just a quick note to Prospective Adoptive Parents,  Read the rest of this entry »

 
12 Comments

Posted by on July 29, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

My child’s story is different…

Yes, every adoptee’s story is unique. There are also similarities found in all adoption stories for the one adopted, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what to tell you on how to get there, but I do know you need to get there. Read the rest of this entry »

 
9 Comments

Posted by on July 25, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

When the one adopted is stuck in the middle

I’m in a few adoption groups on facebook, closed groups.  Groups that lean-to opposite sides of adoption, i.e. adoptive parent heavy or first parent heavy.  The message promoted in each group is often weighted on based on the predominant voices in the group.  I hear a very different message presented in each, two sides of the same coin where the scales tip to the side of the prominent voices in the group. Read the rest of this entry »

 
10 Comments

Posted by on May 29, 2018 in Adoption

 

Tags: , , , , , ,