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Tag Archives: biological family

Thoughts for Adoptive Parents to Mull On

What would you say if I said I wasn’t thankful I was adopted?

Would you say that I must have had a bad experience and you’re sorry?

Would you also tell me that you know other adoptees who are thankful they were adopted? That they love being adopted? That they are thankful they weren’t aborted? Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 20, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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National Adoption Awareness Month – Pop Quiz 2020

The post below is a slightly edited post from 2019 there is no pop quiz and with the covid-19 pandemic happening I’m hoping that people have become both more aware and motivated to know their family health histories; to document them, to know them, especially for their children they adopted who won’t have grown up in their biological family. Please comment and talk about ensuring this Thanksgiving you will do it, or update it. It’s important.

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We all know that having an updated and robust Family Health History is invaluable, that the older we get, the more important it becomes. Long-time readers of this blog know that I was that adoptee who was too busy living my best life to focus on adoption and being an adoptee, until I wasn’t. Until the lack of any family health history changed my life, completely, a life I never could get back. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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#NAAM

With National Adoption Awareness Month mere days away, I have a challenge for you. Don’t worry, it’s an easy challenge. The challenge is to be aware of both your own instinctual bias in regards to adoption, but also in the different roles (Adoptive parents, Adoptees, First Mothers) whatever that may be, and to be aware of the bias in articles, posts, memes being put out during NAAM.

Instead of trying to explain what I mean I’m linking to this post about stereotypes, hierarchy and bias in adoption. Give it a read through (and the comments) and then actively see where the stereotypes, hierarchy and bias lands in NAAM this year. Which triad position in adoption is seen, heard, believed, held up as good, why it is, where did the credibility come from, which role is pushed back on, things like that. Talk about what you see this year in the comments of this post if you’d like.

Adoption hierarchy and stereotypes

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Dear pro-life would be adopter…from 2015

(Lots of online discussion on adopting due to the recent SC nominee so it seems timely to re-up this post and hopefully make some think)

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

She’s not ready to adopt…

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Musing on Adoption and More

When did it become okay to treat Adoptive Parents as the enemy? Yes, they benefit from how adoption is currently practiced and many of the practices are wrong anyway you look at it, but the question remains – when did it become okay to be nasty for the sake of being nasty?

Maybe I’m just too old to understand.

Maybe the other Adoptees are right and I’m wrong.

Maybe I’m right and they are the ones who can’t see that being nasty doesn’t work.

Maybe the world changed; people changed and shaming is the only way to change anything. If that is true then we are all in a heap of trouble with no way to move into a kinder, gentler world. I hope not. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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The Name on the Original Birth Certificate

I’ve been thinking about naming and how it seems to be done today in DIA (Domestic Infant Adoption), and why one aspect bothers me, both personally and ethically. That is what has been bouncing around in my thoughts lately, so I thought I’d try to make sense in a post. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2020 in Adoption

 

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It’s the little things that create connections

Not long ago I was told that a flower I grew and loved, was also a flower grown and loved by my grandmother.

A grandmother I never met. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2020 in Adoption

 

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From 2016: Adoptee loyalty…

The feelings of loyalty that I feel (and expect others feel in varying degrees) can play a significant role in how we talk about our adoption experience; both to our parents throughout our lives and as adults to others. I’ve wanted to talk on this subject for a while, but worried, I couldn’t tease out a cohesive post explaining why I think it happens. This is my attempt to explain many of the different factors playing into it that I see around me.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Happy for New York Adoptees

Adoptees from New York now have the right to their original birth certificates; in the first 48 hours 3600 online applications were made. There’s an estimated 650,000 adoptees from New York per this article: New York Adoptees Rush to Request Birth Certificates, After Years of Blocked Access. Adoptee Rights Law has details on how the new law works: Updated Info on New York’s New Law

Congratulations to everyone who has fought to change the law in the last 40 odd years and to all adoptees from New York. Now the challenge is to get the changes made to the NY Law known by adoptees from NY, seems easy but there are still adoptees from states who have changed the law regarding their original birth certificate, who have no idea they can order theirs. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2020 in Adoption

 

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Adoption Awareness Month – Pop Quiz

We all know that having an updated and robust Family Health History is invaluable, that the older we get, the more important it becomes. Long-time readers of this blog know that I was that adoptee who was too busy living my best life to focus on adoption and being an adoptee, until I wasn’t. Until the lack of any family health history changed my life, completely, a life I never could get back. Read the rest of this entry »

 
12 Comments

Posted by on November 30, 2019 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Adoption Awareness Month – Quote and Thread

My friend Beth left this quote in a comment under my other AAM post with a quote. I loved it. Still love it. It has nothing, and yet, it has everything to do with how adoption discourse happens today between members in the adoption ‘triad’.

This morning’s twitter thread by WordyRamblings talks about this in the context of being the one adopted. And with that said, I’ll leave the discussion to her.

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2019 in Adoption

 

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Adoption Awareness Month – Changes

Domestic Infant Adoption has changed over the years. It had to because of the demand for babies and the lack of babies available to fill the demand. It had to because expectant parents were no longer dealing with a society that shamed white middle-class single mothers. It had to change, so it did, openness and instead of the expectant mother or her family paying expenses, laws were changed to allow the prospective parents to pay expenses, expectant mothers were held up as hero’s, not hidden away and expected to never speak of it again. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 18, 2019 in Adoption

 

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