Sometimes adoption conversations about language makes your head spin, they seldom turn out well, sometimes though, they defy logic. A discussion ensues with many adoptive parents weighing in on the term adopter, some incredibly valid reasons, some with very personal feelings and experiences, some are okay with it, some have some out-there reasoning’s too. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adoptive mother
We didn’t do Mother’s Day per se, at least not like it’s done today. We’d say Happy Mother’s Day at the breakfast table while eating the breakfast mom cooked. All Sunday breakfasts were special, we weren’t having oatmeal (or ‘mush’) and fruit for starters, like we had weekday mornings, and it was better than Saturday when we’d get non-sweetened cold cereal (that we saw as a weekly treat) and fruit. Sunday’s, we’d have either pancakes or waffles (sometimes with hot blueberry sauce for syrup), or eggs and toast and fruit, sometimes even hot fruit on toast (you probably have no idea what that is, or how yummy that was). Read the rest of this entry »
Where to start…this isn’t a feel good post, this is an angry post – don’t click the ‘see more’ expecting anything different…
This article was posted on an adoption agency facebook page. I commented a week ago asking whether they’d read it before they shared, and how much incorrect information was in it. They haven’t responded, or removed the post, hence this post. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve posted The Danger Of A Single Story by Chimanda Ngozi Adichie every year in November since I first posted it in 2010. Listening to her talk never gets old, rather, it seems, I get something new from it every time. Perhaps why it stays relevant is that it applies to so many different areas in life for different people. Perhaps, because it’s filled with wisdom that always has value, adds value every time you hear it.
Why is it such a shock that a mother (and father) who chose adoption would grieve for what they lost? I see posts about the birthmother is grieving, and the one I just read – not grieving appropriately, as if, for your comfort, she needs to grieve in a defined way, in a defined linear line, oh, and it can’t make you uncomfortable. Read the rest of this entry »
We’ve all seen the questions posed that way by prospective and adoptive parents. The intent is so this generation of adoptees grow up with mindful parents… Read the rest of this entry »
I see both prospective and adoptive parents post asking for advice on how to deal with something related to their adoption, or about adoption. This post is only for some of those posters, if you don’t recognise yourself, it’s not about you.
I just read this post The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say to Another Mom and while reading it, all I could think of was how mom reacted each time she thought about any of our mothers loosing us. Her face crumbled in anguish and tears would stream down at just the thought of what our mothers went through. So many years later, that is her same reaction.
Yes, mom is a mom…
Have a safe weekend…
Fair warning this post is snarky; but you will understand why I’ve started it this way with an analogy if you read to the end:
I’ve decided that I’m going to use the term adopter instead of adoptive parent from now on – they are synonyms of the other, so they mean the exact same thing…who cares that some adopters become enraged, others feel demeaned, or feel that it is a derogatory term. It’s easier for me, and they should just get over it, because I know other adopters who don’t care and use it themselves…
A comment was left here yesterday, that I declined to approve. On the scale of some comments I have seen, it wasn’t the worst by any means. It was though, derogatory to an entire segment of people in adoption, no exceptions, painting all with the same brush. There is nothing to be gained by such comments except a further widening of the chasm between groups. We can choose to come together, and agree to disagree on some points, and then, focus on points we do agree with… Read the rest of this entry »