I love and hate the Christmas Holidays. Some years we decorate, some, I can’t be bothered to start pulling out all the boxes, sorting through and picking out what to display. This year, we decorated. I had to force myself from putting it off until it was too late, but I’m glad I pushed through and it’s done. Read the rest of this entry »
Asking for some outsider common sense advice to a conundrum I’m too close to. I can’t say I’ll take it, but it will give me food for thought that might help. Read the rest of this entry »
My mother was asked by someone fairly close to her, if she still thought about me after all this time. The title was the immediate answer. Stop and think about what that means to a mother. To me, it means that not only did she think about me, she would have wondered if I was okay, healthy, happy, sad, alive. I can only begin to imagine the level of pain she lived with because without knowledge, I doubt that she would think only good thoughts, not have any worries about the life I was living, rather, they would include if I was living, what my new family was like, was I loved, was I okay. I compare her words with the length of time I thought of my son every single day – before I had days, and then weeks go by – without thinking about my son. That transition happened long before the first decade had passed, and having lived through that, I can’t imagine the pain that stretched decades, day in, day out, no relief, no forgetting. It’s incomprehensible, and makes tears roll down my face just thinking about it. Read the rest of this entry »
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