I think sometimes prospective and adoptive parents don’t realize that how they say something – tells the reader the person’s feelings of privilege and entitlement to adopt someone else’s baby. The quote below is in response to a comment about how birthparents should be allowed to spend time in hospital without the adopting parents there:
We personally let our son’s birth parents decide how much alone time they wanted with their son.
And for those who don’t see privilege or entitlement in the quote above. They had no authority to “let the parents decide how much alone time they wanted”, her privilege and entitlement is believing she even had a say, she didn’t, because it wasn’t her child. A match is never a guarantee, being at the hospital isn’t either and is now the expected default in adoption, but until those papers are signed, you are a guest, nothing more.
Personally, I don’t agree with them being at the hospital, at all. It allows for the parent(s) to feel pressure, intended or not, no adoptee deserves to find out their parent(s) by birth felt pressured to follow though.