First Mother Forum posted about the latest adoption letter to the Ethicist at the New York Times here. I read both the letter from the adoptive mom and the response to her letter by the Ethicist, but what I really want to talk about is this… Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: adopted
We are the adopted children of our parents, we (nor them) have any say in that, it’s the legal definition.
We now have a new qualifier being attached to adoptees – we are a first mom’s birth child.
Can we please stop adding qualifiers to adoptees, last time I checked, there was nothing wrong with just being called their child. Why add a qualifier, we didn’t disqualify you, we had no say or choice in the matter. And really, it stings that you can’t even claim your child is your child. And if it is the professionals in adoption telling you to call your child that, here’s a thought, they’re wrong. Tell them that, and that perhaps, they should talk to adoptees about what we want to be called.
Ugh, just ugh.
Adoptees, do feel free to weigh in on what you think of being called your mother’s birth child.
Everyone will be challenged by losses in their lifetime, some more than others. How we cope, adjust, is uniquely based on our personality, learned coping skills, lived experiences, and our support system. I’m ever thankful for the many adoptee communities that abound today, they are making a difference for many who were alone, who wondered if it was just them that felt that way, or couldn’t figure out why they reacted to things differently. Adoptees finding their communities is beautiful to behold. What is still lacking is an understanding from some (perhaps even many) in the other two sectors in adoption, as well as adoption professionals, even if it is better, it is not good enough, and in some ways deeply lacking. Read the rest of this entry »
I often search for quotes on a topic, find one that resonates and then read about the person who said it. It’s an interesting and enlightening way to learn about people. This morning, I started with Origins, then Wisdom, then decided I’d try to find an Adoption quote that didn’t try to make adoption better than biological families, wasn’t wrapped up in destiny, wasn’t magical, pre-ordained, or mystical, just something you’d expect from a normal conversation from someone in adoption. Read the rest of this entry »
I worked on one of my family trees yesterday trying to figure out if I had the details for one generation right. A generation I have no problem figuring out on my dad’s tree, but I’m stumped on whether I’m right on this tree, my tree, my family of birth. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m used to the mishmash of terms used by some families who’ve adopted and celebrate the day. It works for them, hopefully if they see it doesn’t work for their child they’ll stop. Still detest the term “Gotcha Day” for many reasons that should be obvious. Read the rest of this entry »
I saw the tweet below and had several different thoughts about Bethany holding a live video event about search and reunion. I’m always suspicious when an adoption agency wants to teach adoptees about search and reunion. Always.
Perhaps things are changing and I need to give more grace. Read the rest of this entry »
Asking for some outsider common sense advice to a conundrum I’m too close to. I can’t say I’ll take it, but it will give me food for thought that might help. Read the rest of this entry »
When we know better, we do better…
That saying relates to the progress made in many areas of adoption, and yes, it has happened.
So, why, can’t we apply that to race, attitudes, prejudices, biases, racism, that still exists everywhere? Read the rest of this entry »
Despite that abortion is a pregnancy decision, and adoption is a parenting decision, it seems that in the minds of people, they are indelibly linked, intertwined, if you will. The rhetoric keeps ramping up trying to make the one adopted, the poster child to stop abortion. Just the mere thought sends chills down my spine, to be used for a cause, when you are still a child. This post is about abortion… Read the rest of this entry »
Just read a blog post about how someone who isn’t adopted, but has always assumed, that if you are adopted – that the love you have for your adoptive parents is greater than the love that a non-adopted child would have for their mom and dad. Reasons cited is that the child was chosen, money was paid, and sacrifices made. I’m not linking to the post – but it was also a religious post musing about being adopted by God and comparing the two – which doesn’t work for me.