Tag Archives: family medical history

Why are AP’s waiting to tell their child they’re adopted?

More and more adoptive parents are openly admitting that they haven’t told their child they are adopted and intend to wait to tell till the child is old enough to understand.  I know I’ve brought this up many times over the years, but this comment left under an article written by an adoptee about the hard truths in adoption (loss, abandonment, grief) sparked this post.  Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 26, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Family Health History Updates and Adoption

I read an adoption agency post on Family Health History, left a comment, went back to read it again and realized the post is from 2016.  My comment is still there pending approval, which I expected as I commented on the weekend.  The post was on what the adoption agency does with any family medical updates, note what they do seems pretty standard across agencies, something I’ve talked about before.  Adoption agencies can also charge an adoptee to pull their file.

Is the standard good enough is the question I’m asking you my friends.

If you answer in the comments:

  1. Include your role in adoption (first parent, adoptive parent, adoptee).
  2. Answer whether it is good enough to you, and why, if it’s not good enough, what should be done instead.
  3. Include whether you’d have known to check with the adoption agency regularly for updated family health history.

Here is the post: Adoptees and Updated Medical Information

My comment is below, but please don’t click the ‘Read the rest of this entry’ until you’ve read the above post linked, so it’s read without my bias good or bad.  If you are going to comment, it would also be good to do that before you read my comment. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on May 1, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Dr. Donna Campbell, a Texas legislator has written a preemptive letter against Texas changing the law that seals an adult adoptee’s original birth certificates away from them.  As I read the letter, it made me feel like adoptees aren’t part of families who adopt and birth parents who place.  No room at the table for adult adoptees.  She does state accommodations can be made to provide medical history, and notes there is already a way for an adoptee to get their original birth certificate, I.e. if they know the name of the parent(s) on the original birth certificate… Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on December 10, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Just wow…

7 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Adopting

“6. The lack of medical information and social history is awkward, embarrassing, and frustrating.”

“Right now, forms are an annoyance. The amount of blanks I have to leave is frustrating. At some point, the gaps between what we know and what we don’t might be a source of embarrassment for my kids. I can say we have to accept unknowns (because we do), but it’s hard.”

Do you have any idea the number of adoptees out there who can only wish that the lack of FHH was just awkward, embarrassing, and frustrating…

…might be a source of embarrassment for your kids.  Embarrassment?  Try life-altering, life-threatening…

I’m going to stop here before I get really upset at the glibness displayed…


Posted by on February 3, 2016 in Adoption


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Shaking my head…

On a Facebook post asking if adoptees should have the right to their original birth certificate, the comments quickly devolved into the usual default opinions.  “Medical records should be available to the adopted person but birth parents deserve privacy” is the recurring sentiment reflected in many of the comments to this post on Facebook.  Those comments reflect ignorance of what medical records are, versus, what a family health history is.  It’s appalling that people do not understand the difference.

Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on September 11, 2015 in Adoption


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Wishing the best…


Long-time readers know one of my biggest concerns is that adoption, in particular closed adoption, denies adoptees access to knowledge of what health issues run in their family, that kept members would be aware of.  With openness that is mitigated somewhat, provided the adoption stays open and both sides of the adoptee’s family are included, not perfect, but better.

Yet, there are still closed adoptions both domestically, and internationally beyond anyone’s control.  Sometimes, it isn’t just knowledge that is needed to make the difference.  Thankfully in this story, the family had searched for their child’s family prior to the diagnosis, and had success in finding them.

I hope everything goes well, and according to plan, my thoughts are with the family.

Stratham boy finds bone marrow match


Posted by on March 11, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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Running into adoption, yet again…


The other day, I was chatting with one of the guys in my class, talking about our stories, and I explained one of the reasons I’m there is because of being adopted, the lack of family health history that I wasn’t allowed to know, because by law I couldn’t know my family of birth.

Well, it turns out he had a couple of cousins who were adopted…  Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on January 22, 2014 in Adoption


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It’s so reassuring – or not…


A couple of days ago I made chocolate chip cookies, hubs favorite cookie, providing I make it from his mom’s recipe.  Never mind that the recipe is pretty much identical to every other chocolate chip cookie recipe – they taste better if I follow the handwritten recipe his mom sent him before she passed away.  So I use that recipe because I understand they taste better because of that memory of being a child eating chocolate chip cookies his mom had just made.

So where am I going with this touching story you may be thinking… Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on July 29, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


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Adoption history and the lasting impact of not doing it right…


I know – two posts in one day.  I over-did it yesterday and have done my best not to go lay-down and sleep because that will mess up my sleep tonight.  This morning I followed a link from twitter and ended up reading the first link.  I don’t know who provided the link, but reading it made me incredibly sad – not just the lies, but the mis-information that made it so much harder for Michael.  It’s from 1999 and long to be published in the NY Times – about the era when I was adopted. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on May 10, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


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Dear Adoption Agency Person…


You are the first person to have commented on this blog from an identified adoption agency – thanks for being honest – do you know I actually look at who is commenting for the first time?  Just one of my quirks.  I know another agency follows this blog, but they don’t comment.  Just in case you are wondering, here are the reasons why I am not approving your comment.  Trust me, it is long so you may want to grab a coffee (or your choice of beverage). Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on May 8, 2013 in Adoption


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Safe Haven…


I’m not against the intention behind creating Safe Haven laws.  Really, I’m not.  It’s the belief that mothers would only use them if they can remain anonymous, that I disagree with. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on May 7, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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Ted Talk – Ernesto Sirolli: Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!


I loved the Ted Talk below when I first heard it, and intended to do a post on it.  A couple of days ago, I went back and listened to it again, and still wanted to post it,  but not only for the message Ernesto Sirolli has to say, but because it applies to how adoption is now practiced as well.

The entire adoption community, and specifically the ones in positions of power, would be well served to listen to what adoptees have to say, and then make it better.  From understanding that PAL (positive adoption language) does not help the 7 year old who has been told that her “”birthmother” loved her so much she made an adoption plan” who translates that narrative into “being loved means you are given away” or any other variation – all the way to how adult adoptees are treated, and everything in-between including the professionals, who have studies and papers that adoptees struggle in a variety of ways with being adopted.

Ernesto Sirolli: Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!

When most well-intentioned aid workers hear of a problem they think they can fix, they go to work. This, Ernesto Sirolli suggests, is naïve. In this funny and impassioned talk, he proposes that the first step is to listen to the people you’re trying to help, and tap into their own entrepreneurial spirit. His advice on what works will help any entrepreneur.

Ernesto Sirolli got his start doing aid work in Africa in the 70’s — and quickly realised how ineffective it was.


It appears though, that in the case of foster care alumni at least a few people are listening to adult foster alumni – and that makes me incredibly happy.  I do hope they explore every recommendation in Maurissa’s report below.

I want to give a hat-tip to wackyadorablefamily because I might  otherwise have missed the post and report linked below, and that would be a shame (going straight to the link, because I want to highlight the report below as well). 

The post on CCAI Senator Kerry Introduces Bill Based on Recommendation from CCAI Foster Youth Intern is well worth the time to read, but Maurissa’s full report linked at the end of the post is detailed specifically on what can be done to help youth in foster care, and I hope you grab a coffee, and read it to the end.

Both those in foster and adoption would be well served to practice what Ernesto Sirolli learned…


Posted by on December 9, 2012 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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