Why do adoptees often say to their first parent (or parents) some version of: you did the right thing?
How do they know this?
How can anyone know this?
I can’t say the decision made was the right thing, any more than I can say it was the wrong thing, for me or for them. Do adoptees say it based on the relationship they have/had with the parents who adopted them? Where their adopted life lead them? Neither reason seems logical because without knowing who they’d be, where they’d be if they hadn’t been adopted, makes any comparison moot. Even if you had everything you needed and your life was filled with love, you don’t know how your other life would have turned out, whether your first family would be like they are today if they’d made a different choice(s) when you were born, both for you, and for them.
Or do adoptees say this because of the loyalty factor that comes into play when you are adopted; when you have two families and there’s a societal need to know adoption is a good.
Or does it simply boil down to it’s expected of adoptees.