No words left

12 Dec

Just read a blog post that detailed everything you need to know and do when you are adopting.

Everything that is, except learning how that baby or child you adopt will feel, what they will think about, what pops up at what age. What an adopted child needs to not just grow and thrive, but needs from you to feel free to process their emotions, to not feel the need to protect you, instead of them being supported by you, they’ll learn they need to take care of you.

It’s the adoption way, it’s all about you and your needs mama.

I give up. 


Posted by on December 12, 2020 in Adoption, adoptive parents


Tags: , , , , ,

11 responses to “No words left

  1. swiftabc

    December 12, 2020 at 6:29 pm

    So much education is still needed…


    • TAO

      December 12, 2020 at 6:32 pm

      It is, until then, I’d like people to stop saying today’s adoption is “modern adoption” and that they know better than parents during the BSE, they don’t, they also lack the empathy to recognize that.

      Bad mood.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. juliemcgue

    December 12, 2020 at 7:25 pm

    Can you provide the link to the article you read about everything you need to know about adoption?


    • TAO

      December 12, 2020 at 8:21 pm

      No, I don’t do that, When I don’t link to something it’s because it’s my thoughts I’m sharing, not the article. I also refuse to put targets on people.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Lara/Trace

    December 13, 2020 at 12:16 am

    I hear you Tao. I hear you in my heart!


  4. cb

    December 13, 2020 at 12:57 am

    I often feel like the adoptee themsleve is just an incidental “bit player” in many “adoption stories”, we are talked about only in our value to the person adopting rather than as humans in our own right.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Heather

      December 13, 2020 at 8:26 am

      Exactly what cb wrote. I’m sorry TAO. I had much better expectations for humanity. Where is the compassion, the empathy, the understanding? It’s so frustrating to be constantly hurt and disappointed.


      • TAO

        December 13, 2020 at 3:28 pm

        No idea why you went to moderation.


  5. BOOKS: Sexual Assault, Loss

    December 14, 2020 at 7:25 pm

    Sadly, the adopted person soon learns to stuff their emotions. I sometimes think this becomes a lifelong pattern. Not healthy for anyone to do that. Protection of the adoptive parents becomes very ingrained. Many attempts at reunion often fail due to the perceived need to protect. Extreme loyalty to adoptive parents translates to the need to reject biology, which is actually a rejection of self. How can the self not feel divided? Repression and denial must be a core part of the adopted person’s personality. Survival is the driving force. (A perception of the need for self-protection and survival is also strong for many first mothers, resulting in many defense mechanisms.)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Paige Adams Strickland

    December 16, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    Hitting the “like” button to acknowledge since there is no WTF button or puke button, which would be more fitting. So one-sided. Did you leave a comment or 2? I don’t even bother with those types of blogs.


    • TAO

      December 16, 2020 at 2:39 pm

      No, really couldn’t be bothered because with some, they’ll never change.



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