Evolving adoption language…

For the last while I’ve seen some first mom’s refer to the child they placed as their birthchild, one word.  I haven’t said anything, not my place, just hope it didn’t come about because their SW said that is how they should refer to them.  I also recognise I don’t like the use of birth in adoption terminology because it is reductive to me, so my reaction, may be over-inflated.

 

Penny dropping on privilege, my privilege…

The other day, Mimi wrote a tweet that caused me to think, deeply, and to recognise that the first question that popped in my head happened for no other reason than my own white privilege.

 

Memories…

When I was two, I fell down the stairs and landed face down on the cement floor of the basement.  I lost a front tooth.  I screamed, cried, and carried on until dad picked me up and carried me back up stairs.  I have flash memories of falling down the stairs, hitting the floor, dad carrying me back up holding me on his left side.  What dad was wearing is also part of that memory.

 

Starting to emerge…

Yesterday I had my hair cut short.  Very short.  Three different times during the cut the woman came over to sweep up the hair because there was so much, even though it wasn’t all that long this time, I have very thick hair, now.  I’d stubbornly refused to cut it short again, even though I’ve cut it shorter many times in the last 10 years or so, I refused to go back to my short, short hair.

 

That cute set of pictures you set to public?

Being on wordpress, I have a wordpress reader that shows me the blog posts of those I follow, or I can see blog posts based on the tag they’ve added to their post.  I’ve discovered some excellent blogs through tags, it also allows me to read views I don’t share.  It’s a great way to pass time drinking my coffee in the morning.

 

Family trees…

I’d made progress on my family tree on my father-by-birth’s side after the 1940 census was released, but then, I’d hit a brick wall and put it aside in sheer annoyance because without family stories, you don’t have any clues. 

 

Good reads

Olympian Simone Biles Reminds Us: We Do Need to Get ‘Real’ About Adoption

Hey America, Simone Biles Doesn’t Need to be Our “Cinderella Story”

 

 

If I had a magic wand…

I’d wave it and magically remove the insecurity *some* adoptive parents have over commonly used terms that offend them, every time.  Terms that aren’t going to magically disappear from the lexicon.  Terms like ‘real’ in reference to a biological family.  I’d also bestow on you the ability to take the power away from terms like ‘real’. 

 

If only the adoption community could get this riled up over something important…

I get that people are upset over the comment by the commentator stating that Simone’s mom and dad might be her mom and dad but they weren’t her parents.  Numerous articles from the media, many threads on FB about it, even a petition to get him fired exists.  Perhaps he has no place being a commentator, I don’t know, don’t particularly care, and I do acknowledge I might be in the minority on this one…

 

OT: the power of observation

(Taken from Grandpa’s journal of a letter he wrote to “Dear Old Timers” in 1954.  They must have asked what type of winter had been forecast for where he lived.  The way he described the weatherman’s forecast is priceless and maybe I’ll transcribe it one day. He told the “Dear Old Timers” he was now leaving the guessing to the weatherman, but then explains what he’d observed in nature back in 1913 (he was logging then, cross-cut saws, double-headed axes).)

“There is a sign which seems to prove true: the activity of squirrels.  If my memory is working right the fall of 1913 we were working at Brittain River BC.  The squirrels were laying around sunning themselves with a satisfied smile on their mugs, a very mild winter followed.  The following fall we were located in the same place, but the squirrels were not slumbering.  They were hot footing it from place to place gathering any wee bits of food they could find to store for winter rations.  The following winter was severe and long with 4 or 5 feet of snow which took its time in melting.”

Observation is a powerful tool, even today, not just for the weather, you can learn just about everything you need to know about another by just observing them…

What’s up with you? Anything you want to say?  Wisdom to share?

 

 

Food for thought, if you still needed more…

I read a lot.  I try to read voices from all sides of a subject but I don’t do the extremes, I just can’t go there.  As I’ve watched the news over the last year, specifically politics, while dealing with all the emotions knowing mom was nearing the end of her life, and then, the everything that happens after someone passes, has allowed for lots of looking backwards.