Yesterday I had my hair cut short. Very short. Three different times during the cut the woman came over to sweep up the hair because there was so much, even though it wasn’t all that long this time, I have very thick hair, now. I’d stubbornly refused to cut it short again, even though I’ve cut it shorter many times in the last 10 years or so, I refused to go back to my short, short hair.
Not sure why, I think it was somewhat a rebellion against everything that had happened to me within the last 15 years and acceptance of defeat all rolled into one. That if I couldn’t have my life I’d mapped out, I’d wear my hair any damn way I pleased, and I wouldn’t cave to what other people wanted me to be, look like, wear.
This last year has been the year that took me down farther than I knew I could go due to sheer physical and emotional exhaustion rolled into one.
And, I think the renewal is happening.
I feel free.
I feel like I’m emerging.
Music is speaking to me again.
I may even pull out my dusty old violin.
My desire to engage in life – reawakening.
What that will look like only time will tell.
But I am engaged again…
Something that’s been absent in me for a while.
Watching, well listening really, to this right now. Classic Hip at their best, you may have never of heard of them. Google it. “The Tragically Hip – Full Concert – 10/24/00 – Fillmore Auditorium (OFFICIAL)”