Tag Archives: adoptive parent

Dear Columnist

I read your article posted a few days ago: 3 Reasons To NOT Find Your Birth Parents with the tag line “It’s your life; it’s your choice.” and just wanted to lay out some statements of facts before getting into a nuanced rebuttal.

  • You are an adoptive parent
  • You have written another ‘instructive’ article to adoptees before (title below)
  • You are not an adoptee, at least you don’t claim to be

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Posted by on March 23, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Discussing ‘This is Us’ (not this blog)

Back in October I did a post about This Is Us, curious about what other adoptees felt about the new series, what they thought, how triggering it was.  You can read that brief post here and read the comments if you’re interested. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on January 24, 2017 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Outside looking in and inside looking out on grief…

Why is it such a shock that a mother (and father) who chose adoption would grieve for what they lost?  I see posts about the birthmother is grieving, and the one I just read – not grieving appropriately, as if, for your comfort, she needs to grieve in a defined way, in a defined linear line, oh, and it can’t make you uncomfortable. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on October 29, 2016 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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If I had a magic wand…

I’d wave it and magically remove the insecurity *some* adoptive parents have over commonly used terms that offend them, every time.  Terms that aren’t going to magically disappear from the lexicon.  Terms like ‘real’ in reference to a biological family.  I’d also bestow on you the ability to take the power away from terms like ‘real’.  Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on August 11, 2016 in Uncategorized


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Dear pro-life would be adopter…

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there.  I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt.  I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good.  Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her.  Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know… Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on September 21, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Good conversations happen in the comments…


One of the reasons I’ve kept this blog going is that I can see people start to understand a different view, not so much from the blog posts, but the comments and conversations by many different people.  I love the conversations that happen in the comments, whether they stay on topic, or wander completely away.  I struggle sometimes to write posts in a fully authentic voice, because I worry too much about whether it will be heard by those who can gain understanding, if they can only hear it.  So, I temper my words too much to make them softer, when I am a plain speaker at heart.  Comments though are different, it’s easier to talk one on one.  I was reading an old post and the comments it sparked, and thought I’d put a comment and response into a post to show that often the best part of this blog – is in the conversations that happen after.

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Posted by on October 16, 2014 in Adoption


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