When you write books on adoption, adopting, have a website, facebook, instagram, twitter, all of which focus primarily on adoption, adopting, you being an adoptive parent raising adopted children, isn’t it a wee bit hypocritical to be worrying about whether children are adopted or were adopted? And what if your children decide they were adopted, will they get gold stars? Or, alternatively, they decide they are adopted, will they get lectured on allowing adoption to define them? Read the rest of this entry »
Scattered thoughts today wondering why I react the way I do.
When something serious relates to me, I’m all business, I ask specific questions without any thread of emotion in my voice, or held within my body. I listen. I ask follow-up questions. I don’t cry, I don’t even feel emotional, nor scared, I just am.
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Yesterday, I googled the name of my father by birth to see if he was still alive. He isn’t, he passed not very long ago, his obit held information that helped me in his family tree which is most welcome, other than that, nothing has changed with his death, I didn’t know him, his choice from the start to the end. Read the rest of this entry »
An article was posted that had Tummy Mommy in the title, I knew I should avoid it, the title told me it would make me upset. I clicked anyway. Dumb, dumb idea.
I read it. I read it right to the bitter end. Read the rest of this entry »
Thankful for how willing adoptees are to not just talk about adoption, being adopted, but to also have the grace, strength and power inside them to tell their stories in ways that makes you feel them, instead of just reading them. Stories unique to each, and yet, weaving similar themes that run through their stories. It’s a gift for both prospective and adoptive parents that I hope they willingly accept, think deeply on, and challenge themselves to dig deep to understand. Read the rest of this entry »
Dear Friends, how are you doing this month? Were you dreading it as much as I was? I’ve been disconnected in many ways, specifically in not feeling in the mood to venture into the fray this month creates, staying in small trusted circles until now…
I know I’m always talking about how you adopt matters, I’m hoping that today’s post offers you a chance to consider how the long-term impact your choices in adopting can play out and even be generational. Choosing the way to get that baby fastest, easiest, the shortest time post birth to relinquishment, or no revocation period, shouldn’t be what guides the choices you make, your ethics and morals should. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s a rare adoptee who would fit into the Either/Or category people like to paint us as, instead try seeing us as Both/And. Read the rest of this entry »
The intent of this post is similar to this post Looking for adoptee input on searching as the response was amazing and I thank each one of you who took the time to contribute. This time, it’s to offer a space for any adoptees who wish to describe the different times in their lives when they processed being adopted and how their feelings and views changed. What life events that triggered reflection, changes based on life stages/ages, understanding of adoption practices, or… Read the rest of this entry »
I follow Merriam-Webster on twitter, it’s pretty funny and educational at the same time. Today is Noah Webster’s birthday and they’re celebrating by offering up obscure words in exchange for likes. Read the rest of this entry »
I’d be interested in hearing from other adoptees what triggers a reminder you’re adopted, or triggers deeper reflections of being adopted. Read the rest of this entry »
Before I reunited with my maternal family of birth – I loved every reunion story I read, watched. Now these many years later I’m more likely than not to pass them by because of the emotions that bubble up inside of me, that normally, sit just under the surface. Emotions that run the gamut of happy they finally met, to sad for all those years missed, years when they should have built a lifetime of memories to sustain them throughout life. Anger at all the reasons why because of adoption that they don’t have those memories. Emotions from my lived reality. And often, a healthy dose of disdain (not the right word) for the reactions of adoptive and birth parents of being happy for them, because they can never, ever, understand how little reuniting fixes anything unless they too, have lived it. Read the rest of this entry »