Still mulling on, fuming on the audacity of The National Council for Adoption Advocate suggesting that DTC genetic companies should screen for adoptees by asking them if they’re adopted and then providing “adoption professionals” to contact for help so it’s “adoption-supportive and sensitive”. In my effort to consider whether they have a point re the “adoption professionals”, I googled adoption agencies+reunion advice. Read the rest of this entry »
The National Council for Adoption has concerns on adoptees using DNA tests to find their families of birth and get health information. Read the rest of this entry »
I started this post looking for a quote on identity. A quote that would describe something so fundamental as needing to know your family of origin, the why’s, the who am I, the missing part of who we are. Let me know if the quote below resonates with you. Read the rest of this entry »
Yesterday, so much horror, devastation, loss happened. I was transfixed at the sheer hopeless feeling enveloping me as I heard, watched images onscreen. My solemn deep-felt condolences to everyone affected by this tragedy. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve been working on a post for about a week, it isn’t working. It was to be about Kap, the taking a knee and everything else that is woven into it. It isn’t working because all I’m doing is getting both mad and depressed, and it isn’t because NFL players are taking a knee. It’s because white people will never come together, listen, hear the plea for change, because we aren’t comfortable about talking about race, racism, the effects of racism that we aren’t affected by. Read the rest of this entry »
We are the adopted children of our parents, we (nor them) have any say in that, it’s the legal definition.
We now have a new qualifier being attached to adoptees – we are a first mom’s birth child.
Can we please stop adding qualifiers to adoptees, last time I checked, there was nothing wrong with just being called their child. Why add a qualifier, we didn’t disqualify you, we had no say or choice in the matter. And really, it stings that you can’t even claim your child is your child. And if it is the professionals in adoption telling you to call your child that, here’s a thought, they’re wrong. Tell them that, and that perhaps, they should talk to adoptees about what we want to be called.
Ugh, just ugh.
Adoptees, do feel free to weigh in on what you think of being called your mother’s birth child.
Thought for the day:
I can’t tell you how many adoptees start off processing the hard parts of being adopted, once they start talking with and getting to know other adoptees. Then they start talking about feelings, feelings they’ve never been comfortable sharing with others. Then once they hear others that were triggered the same way, in the same circumstances, the pennies start dropping that their reaction to (perceived rejection, insecurities relationship wise, not feeling good enough, anxiety, aloneness, different) centered around being adopted and is all part of the adoptee experience. Read the rest of this entry »
Last July, there was a guy on twitter that sparked this post. And no, not even a few months later am I a fan of naming folks, would rather just talk about the attitude. He blocked me 🙂 and checking later, he’d deleted at least one of his tweets, I also double checked to make sure I’ve portrayed it accurately. This guy, Billy, was upset that adoptees in New York want the same right others born in New York have; access to, and the right to receive a copy of their original birth certificate (OBC), he also seems upset that any adoptee anywhere could have that right. Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes adoption conversations about language makes your head spin, they seldom turn out well, sometimes though, they defy logic. A discussion ensues with many adoptive parents weighing in on the term adopter, some incredibly valid reasons, some with very personal feelings and experiences, some are okay with it, some have some out-there reasoning’s too. Read the rest of this entry »
More and more adoptive parents are openly admitting that they haven’t told their child they are adopted and intend to wait to tell till the child is old enough to understand. I know I’ve brought this up many times over the years, but this comment left under an article written by an adoptee about the hard truths in adoption (loss, abandonment, grief) sparked this post. Read the rest of this entry »
Lori has a post up that is a letter written by a first mom re adoptive mom not doing well with the reunion. Go read it and put in your 2 cents.
I commented already on Lori’s post under TAO.
If you will, come back and answer this question:
What is the protocol, etiquette, who should be the leader in an adoption reunion, answer below and why.