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Grumpy rant

I’m old and most days can easily become grumpy at the drop of a hat. That happened yesterday on a comment thread on NYT’s FB post of an article. My grumpiness wasn’t over the article, it was good, it was because the PAL crowd got terribly upset in a how dare you way and we demand you fix it, and fix it now (which the NYT did)

Their issue in the headline: Given up for adoption…  Read the rest of this entry »

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20 Comments

Posted by on September 2, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Deep thoughts

The word melancholy came into my mind this morning that seemed to explain how I’m feeling. When I looked up the definition to make sure it fit, the last definition does: a pensive mood. That’s how I feel, pensive. I’ve been pondering lately on what’s happening to this world, to humanity. I’ve mulled on both the current and the past, and then, with Senator John McCain’s passing all my feelings coalesced into this feeling of pensiveness. Read the rest of this entry »

 
6 Comments

Posted by on August 26, 2018 in Adoption

 

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The lie always finds the light in the end

The road to this post is sort of long, please bear with me. Mom’s parents immigrated from England to Canada back in the early 1900’s, if memory serves they knew each other in England before they immigrated. They married in Canada and lived out their lives there; this story takes place after they were all gone. Back then, trips home to England were few because you had to go via ship, but they stayed in touch with family through regular letters written in ultra-small script filling every inch of the page. So, mom grew up knowing her cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents though letters and stories told. When travel got easier (airplanes), mom visited several times over the decades, she would spend several days with each family, they also kept up the letters so everyone knew what was happening in the family.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
11 Comments

Posted by on August 20, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Can we stop being so shallow in the adoption community?

I’ve tried every which way to help people, specifically adoptive parents in the adoption community to move on from labelling an adoptee as having either a positive or negative adoption experience. I’ve failed in all previous attempts and I don’t like admitting defeat, so here’s one more try…
Read the rest of this entry »

 
15 Comments

Posted by on August 12, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Looking for adoptee input on searching

I’m looking for adoptees willing to weigh in on:

  1. reasons why you could and did tell your parents you were searching for your family of birth.
  2. reasons why you couldn’t and wouldn’t tell your parents you were searching for your family of birth.
  3. reasons why you chose not to search until your parents passed.
  4. reasons why you chose not to search.
  5. reason why you searched
  6. reason I haven’t listed

And if you could refer to all numbers that corresponds to what you did that’d be helpful so I don’t assume incorrectly.  Also, if you care to share, about what age you started to actively search. Feel free to wander farther afield than the above choices if you’d like, you have the floor.

 
18 Comments

Posted by on August 9, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Is it really that hard to accept that your child has another family?

 

Dear people who adopt, want to adopt,

Your child’s “birthmom’s” mom is your child’s grandma, not “birthmom’s” mom (well, she is that too). I get that you may desperately want to be your child’s only family, but that isn’t how it works when you adopt (and you know me well enough to know my answer is if you can’t accept that and haven’t adopted yet, then don’t adopt). Read the rest of this entry »

 
13 Comments

Posted by on August 3, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What adoption is…

Those of you who are friends of mine on facebook know I’m getting to the stage of life where memories of times past seem important to remember. Whether it’s my age, because I love genealogy that has stories to create whispers of who that person was, what they stood for, so who they were wasn’t lost in a sea of time, or just a personality quirk that’s always been there – I’m now officially that person who muses on the past.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
9 Comments

Posted by on August 1, 2018 in Adoption

 

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Regrets are prefectly normal

Just a quick note to Prospective Adoptive Parents,  Read the rest of this entry »

 
12 Comments

Posted by on July 29, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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My child’s story is different…

Yes, every adoptee’s story is unique. There are also similarities found in all adoption stories for the one adopted, and if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what to tell you on how to get there, but I do know you need to get there. Read the rest of this entry »

 
9 Comments

Posted by on July 25, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Broken

I’ve tried multiple times to collect my thoughts enough to talk about all the feelings that have erupted inside of me, unnameable, but there while I’ve watched the coverage of the separation of children from their mothers.  Other adoptees are feeling strong feelings over this as well.  Their feelings may be different than mine, feelings filtered through their own personal story. Read the rest of this entry »

 
27 Comments

Posted by on June 23, 2018 in Adoption

 

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What the first mom study said to me

I didn’t have time to delve deeply into the first mom study in my last post.  Today I want to talk about what it said to me, but before that, I want to reiterate some of my feelings on first moms and domestic infant adoption. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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I read a study on first moms that sparked this question…

If an adoptee offers anything online that could be considered less than positive about adoption there is a common reactionary statement that goes something like this: Most happy adoptees are out living their lives and aren’t on adoption forums (often littered with I’m sorry you had a bad experience, bitter, ungrateful, the I know an adoptee,  etc.).  I haven’t met an adoptee online who hasn’t had that said to them at least once, if not multiple times.

The same is offered to first moms online – different but similar to what is offered to an adoptee. Read the rest of this entry »

 
18 Comments

Posted by on June 7, 2018 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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