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How was your Thanksgiving and other Q’s?

Watching the news and all the folks who travelled over this Thanksgiving amazed me. Did you travel? Or did you stay home? Were you concerned travelling with Covid still a thing?

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Posted by on November 28, 2021 in Adoption

 

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Adoption Triggers

Adoption writers, adoption meme makers, adoption agencies, facilitators, consultants, people wanting to adopt an infant, and whoever else I’ve left off that does the following.

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Posted by on November 27, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Those Pesky “Bad Experience” Adoptees

Yesterday, I was reading an interesting post on FB about listening to Adoptees written by an Adoptive Mother. I was happy to see it, most comments were supportive and in agreement, but you know by now, there’s always at least one Adoptive Parent who just needs to divide Adoptees into two camps.

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Posted by on November 20, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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The Art of Dismissing the Adoptee’s Voice…

A post from a long time ago, one that I reposted in 2015 and that’s the post you’ll see linked below. I dug it up because a conversation happened on twitter that included an adoptive mother who said her children were grateful to be adopted, not that they loved being adopted, or thankful for what they have type of comment, but grateful to be adopted, that term that has the ring of indebtedness when linked to an adoptee. A term that just needs to go away when linked in that specific way. I chose not to just copy and paste the post below because the discussion in the comments offers wisdom and understanding.

The Art of Dismissing the Adoptee’s Voice…

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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Telling Adoption Stories

Thought it might be good to talk about when your child wants to tell their adoption story to the world because it’s Adoption Month. Is it a good thing for your child to do? Only you as the parent can answer that question. But first, if you are pro-adoption, pro-building your family via adoption, or pro-adoption because this was the only way I could become a parent; I’d urge you to take off your rose colored glasses about Adoption and being Adopted, and first, do a deep dive into your reasons, your biases, your ego and how they are playing into your reaction.

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Posted by on November 8, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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What I lost

Written in December 2019

I was having a conversation about reunion and how it can create havoc in your soul. The conversation evolved and moved into more specifics, specifically, the areas of loss an adoptee may feel. That digging deep triggered this post.

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Posted by on November 4, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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Adoption Month

A month that is supposed to bring awareness of adoption and promote adoption for children whose parents have lost their parental rights. A month when those children who want to be adopted are highlighted. Right off the bat I ran into tweets about celebrating adoption month by people who had recently adopted newborns, pretty much slapping each other on the back in celebration of reducing abortions. SMDH

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Posted by on November 2, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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Two Blog Posts from 2011

One from Shannon (an AP), and my post after reading Shannon’s post (and the comments on those posts as well). As always, I am so thankful for the conversations that have evolved from posts here, you make me think, you also make my life better.

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Posted by on October 30, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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From the NYT Ethicist column

“The Son My Sister Placed for Adoption Wants to Find Her. What Should I Do?”

My youngest sister had a baby when she was an unmarried teenager. This was some decades ago, when abortion laws and misguided morality made things difficult for someone who was pregnant and unmarried. She told me she was pregnant, and though I encouraged her to tell our parents, she decided to conceal her condition by wearing larger-size clothes. When she gave birth at the hospital to a healthy boy, our mother talked her into having the baby adopted. My sister signed the adoption papers with the proviso that her identity as the mother not be revealed to the child. A few years later, she married. She and her husband have a daughter, but while her husband knows about the adopted son, I don’t believe their daughter does.

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Posted by on October 26, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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Links to posts on late discovery…

From 2015

Not that I can ever imagine what a Late Discovery Adoptee (LDA) goes through, I’m sure it would break my heart and take a long time to come to any level of peace.  I’m also sure there are many future LDA’s that will find out when their parents pass away and they deal with the estate paperwork, or decide one day to innocently take a DNA test that has become such a popular tool. Why did any parent think it was proper to lie to their child, especially, when others around them know the truth. Today there are parents of adopted children who don’t want to, or intend to tell, still. To me it’s selfishness of the worst kind, setting your child up for a heart-breaking discovery down the road, all to make you feel ‘real’ and keep your secrets. I have a hard time understanding anyone who willingly chooses not to tell – how can you parent your child with such a huge lie between you?

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Posted by on October 20, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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It’s Raining Cats and Dogs

And I’d rather have the rain than heat where you can fry an egg on the sidewalk.

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Posted by on October 16, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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Simple primer for reading this blog…

Written in 2017

The other day an Adoptive Parent left a comment on a post detailing that I had enormous problems bonding with my adoptive parents and how I demonize adoption as the source of all my pain and woes. Say what? Funny thing happened though, it didn’t upset me like it would have in the past, whether that’s because it’s become old hat, or because I’ve come to the conclusion that most folks can’t separate “adoption” from “being adopted” from “family” from “feelings” and get upset that I don’t use “disclaimers”, which I believe may have been part of the reason the comment was left.

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Posted by on October 4, 2021 in Uncategorized

 

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