The feelings of loyalty that I feel (and expect others feel in varying degrees) can play a significant role in how we talk about our adoption experience; both to our parents throughout our lives and as adults to others. I’ve wanted to talk on this subject for a while, but worried, I couldn’t tease out a cohesive post explaining why I think it happens. This is my attempt to explain many of the different factors playing into it that I see around me. Read the rest of this entry »
I have a suggestion for an addition to Positive Adoptive Language (PAL). Yes, me, the one who dislikes most of the required language, but maybe this request will spur an update and be inclusive of all parties to adoption (excluding adoption service providers), who knows, but it needs a good overhaul and what better time to start the conversation than now. Read the rest of this entry »
We make choices every day, but the values that drives those choices is what is important. I shopped at the same grocery chain for decades, even after their ownership changed, I resisted trying their competitor for more than a year. During that year I noticed older employees disappearing, new employees so young I wondered if they’d ever shopped for groceries before. Name brands disappearing, replaced with no-name products I’d never heard of before, or knew what company produced. Read the rest of this entry »
Apparently, I’m done with my mellow phase… Read the rest of this entry »
This is my interpretation of what an adoptee can experience delving into being adopted. As per normal, include #notall as you need too. Read the rest of this entry »
How are you doing?
I’ve been puttering in the garden a bit, reading a lot and listening too. One series of interviews I listened to the other day were seniors about the health crisis’s they’d lived though, they were all interesting but two have stuck in my mind. The first person interviewed was a 107 man who had lived through the 1918 pandemic. The other interview that really made an impression was a 72 year old woman whose parents were both confined due to TB, she’d never met or lived with her parents until she was six. Her story is what sparked me to come and post today. Read the rest of this entry »
Talk is going round the online adoption world about an expected influx of expectant mothers to adoption. I’m not in the know so I can’t say if that is correct, yet it wouldn’t be surprising if it was true, with all the lost jobs, the panic over not being able to pay your rent or groceries for starters, let alone no idea how long this will last, how long before normal returns. Read the rest of this entry »
My mother was asked by someone fairly close to her, if she still thought about me after all this time. The title was the immediate answer. Stop and think about what that means to a mother. To me, it means that not only did she think about me, she would have wondered if I was okay, healthy, happy, sad, even if I was alive. I can only begin to imagine the level of pain she lived with, because without knowledge, I doubt that she would think only good thoughts, not have any worries about the life I was living, rather, they would include if I was living, what my new family was like, was I loved, was I okay. I compare her words with the length of time I thought of my son every single day – before I had days, and then, weeks go by without thinking about my son after he passed. That transition happened long before the first decade had passed and having lived through that, I can’t imagine the pain that stretched decades, day in, day out, no relief, no forgetting. It’s incomprehensible, and makes tears roll down my face just thinking about it. Read the rest of this entry »
Thought I’d take this time to thank all those who take the time to leave a comment, spark a conversation, drop a memory or a story. All of you make this little blog what it is, a community of friends, who most likely will never meet in person, but understand the other on a fairly deep level. Thank you, I appreciate all of you, whether you leave a comment or just pop in and read a post now and then, you make my life better. Read the rest of this entry »
Right now life can feel really heavy so be kind to yourself.
Remember to lift others up when possible and push back when someone is being ugly to another when you can.
I’ll leave you with an article about Alan Alda that suits the mood I’ve been in lately. Also, I’m sure I’ve watched every episode of MASH at least a half-dozen times over the years, right now it’s on every night on a channel we get so the article below was timely.
What are your favorite old shows you can watch again and again?
Stay safe, stay kind, feel free to chat with each other in the comment section, drop a link to a story you liked and think others will too.
Reading this post on Adoptive Families Facebook page is the reason I’m talking about this again. Maybe I’ll be able to change some hearts and minds and, maybe no one has explained well enough so it makes sense. What likeminded people in adoption are trying to do is to get you to take the time to see and set a line on what’s okay to share and what’s private (not secret, just private) of your families adoption story, especially your child’s story. Read the rest of this entry »
In June 2018 I did a post on a recent first mom study of mothers who’d relinquished their parental rights within the last 25 years. I talked about what I took out of it, I also copied the recommendations from the study, who knows if any adoption service providers read the study or considered those recommendations. If any agency did, I’d love to hear about it, if they’d already practiced that way, I’d love to hear that too. Read the rest of this entry »