How many generations between your parents and you…

01 Jan

I grew up with parents who were old enough to be my friends grandparents.  Come to find out decades later they were about the same age as my biological grandparents.

Just wanted to see how many other adoptees had parents the same age of their peers grandparents, or their biological grandparents? 

I and curious if it could be considered the norm? 

Did you feel the two-generation gap between what your friends parents were okay with vs your parents?

Just curious…


Posted by on January 1, 2012 in Adoption, adoptive parents


9 responses to “How many generations between your parents and you…

  1. cb

    January 1, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    My mum and dad were 8 and 12 years older than bmother respectively, so they were in their 30s. I think as soon as they were ready to adopt, they were able to – they didn’t have to wait long.


  2. joy21

    January 1, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    I had young aparents, not much older than my nparents.


  3. The adopted ones

    January 1, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    So maybe I am the odd one out – dad was more than old enough to be a grandpa and mom was within a couple of years.


  4. BLyman

    January 1, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    When I was out with my amom, I was often asked as a child if I was “spending the day with grandma”

    My maternal grandparents were probably slightly older than my aparents, but only because my first mom and her twin brother were the youngest.

    My amom was 43 when I was adopted my first mom was 22. So yes, old enough to be my grandmother. My adad was 10 years younger than my amom though.

    All my first cousins in my afamily were old enough to be my parents.

    I so wish I could have reunited with my birth family earlier. Having older parents affected my life adversely among other things.


    • The adopted ones

      January 1, 2012 at 10:46 pm

      Welcome BLyman – Lyman is a great unique name. I never had the grandma question because small town everyone knew everyone – but I found distinct differences in how much more lenient my peers parents were compared to mine and it seemed to boil down to a generational thing.


      • Dannie

        January 2, 2012 at 8:07 am

        Really? I find that it’s usually the other way around. My Dad and Aunt were raised rather strictly and when their half brother came along (6 months younger than me…so my grandpa was a dad and a grandpa the same year) they were much more lenient in a lot of things that my dad and aunt would have never gotten away with.

        I feel like an older mom compared to my parents (they were parents in early 20s vs. me in early 30s) but rather normal compared to other friends or acquaintences….don’t know if it’s a better balance or not. Time will tell.

        My mother was also born to my grandparents that were in their 40s (but she was the youngest of 2….my aunt is 7 years older than her)….yet both of them passed away in their mid-90s with their minds intact so my mom was already in her 50s….and I in my late 20s.

        So I think all in all it’s a gamble that could go well or not.


  5. jeannette4175

    January 2, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    My daughter’s adoptive parents are almost 20 years older than me. They are old enough to be her grandparents. They are about 8 years younger than my mom (I am child number 4).

    My husband’s aunt just adopted a baby last February. She is in her eary fifties. She is the close to the same age as her son’s grandparents.

    The woman that adopted my grandson is 4 years older than I am. And close to the same age as the grandparents on the dad’s side.

    In my experience the age gap in adoption is almost 2 generations.


  6. Rebecca Hawkes

    January 5, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    My bmom was 17 when I was born and my aparents were in their late 20s. They may have been a little older than my friends’ parents, but not much.

    I have this situation more with my adopted daughter. My husband and I are closer to her grandmother’s age than to her mother’s. But when I’m with Erica (the first mom) I’m not conscious of a big age difference. We’ve actually talked about this. She thinks of us as younger than we are and we think of her as older – LOL.


    • The adopted ones

      January 5, 2012 at 7:26 pm

      Rebecca – I don’t think the age difference will stand out as much today as it did back then. When I was born the pill had JUST become available, and mothers had their babies within a year or two of marriage which seemed to happen well be for the age of 25 (on the shelf/old maid by then). Today many are delaying marriage and childbirth compared to back then ,so the mix won’t be as extreme – kwim?



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