Sometimes adoption conversations about language makes your head spin, they seldom turn out well, sometimes though, they defy logic. A discussion ensues with many adoptive parents weighing in on the term adopter, some incredibly valid reasons, some with very personal feelings and experiences, some are okay with it, some have some out-there reasoning’s too.
And sometimes – you get this from the same adoptive parent (AP) all said in the same conversation:
AP – I don’t like the term adopter.
AP – I’m an adoptive mom.
AP – I’m just a mom – adoptive not needed.
And then, you want to say – why do you think adoptees have found it way easier to name their place in adoption by the term adoptee? It’s the role held in adoption, it’s not a label like adopted child is. It defines which place you hold, not your identity.
PS. I know people don’t like the term adopter and I seldom use it without a disclaimer about why I’m using it, despite the fact that mom called herself an adopter, because that’s what she did, she adopted us, just like I’m an adoptee, because I’m adopted.
Have a good week.