We didn’t do Mother’s Day per se, at least not like it’s done today. We’d say Happy Mother’s Day at the breakfast table while eating the breakfast mom cooked. All Sunday breakfasts were special, we weren’t having oatmeal (or ‘mush’) and fruit for starters, like we had weekday mornings, and it was better than Saturday when we’d get non-sweetened cold cereal (that we saw as a weekly treat) and fruit. Sunday’s, we’d have either pancakes or waffles (sometimes with hot blueberry sauce for syrup), or eggs and toast and fruit, sometimes even hot fruit on toast (you probably have no idea what that is, or how yummy that was).
Mother’s Day, mom would make the breakfast she wanted, not what we’d clamoured for. Then Sunday would continue as normal, usually I’d go with Dad to the hospital if he had any patients that needed visiting, then, depending on whether something needed done, we’d all do that, or we’d go to the beach or hiking if the weather was good.
Now, I see the fuss being made about Mother’s Day, and I can’t understand why people get so caught up in a day that has morphed into such a caricature of a day that was originally designed to honor your mother, now just a day to make sure the cut-flower industry survives, the card makers, gift stores, and restaurants too.
Nor do I remember doing any projects in school for it, it was just a day to set aside where you thanked your mom again for what she’d done all-year-long, while still thanking her each time she did something. I think it’s a multi-generational difference at play. Having parents who were born before and grew into adulthood during the Depression, they didn’t want or need grandiose monetary acknowledgements of how wonderful they were, they just wanted us to be polite, behave, do our chores and help out.
Watching from the outside looking in on today’s world of Mother’s Day hysteria, I don’t see the attraction. Seems like it is now simply a day meant to show off we are the best family on the block, group, internet. A day that also hurts many, for many different reasons, and I’m sorry if you are hurting. Be kind to yourself tomorrow.
In the adoption world, it’s worse, it’s the ultimate Mommy War, who is the Mommy, and the ridiculous two different days makes it even worse. And perhaps that’s another reason why mom didn’t want a big deal on Mother’s Day because she had so much empathy for how that day would impact our other Mothers, that she just couldn’t find joy in it and wanted it low-keyed. Who knows.
Both my mothers have passed away now, but tomorrow, I’ll still say Happy Mother’s Day Mom, and Happy Mother’s Day to my other Mother I never met.
Happy Mother’s Day to All Mothers reading this.