Not the best question to ask an adoptee

05 Apr
About 10 years ago I went for surgery and as the doctor was getting ready to put me under general anesthesia he asked me if I had a family history of anyone not waking up…
That question brought on a panic attack and it took him about 20 minutes of reassurances on how rare it was to calm me down enough to proceed…
Then apparently I set off the alarms as I was waking up and opened my eyes to about a dozen people clustered around my bed including the anesthesiologist.
Sucks to be an adoptee, sometimes more than others…I wonder if that question is on the medical history forms the agencies have to be filled out…

Posted by on April 5, 2011 in Adoption, Uncategorized


Tags: , ,

5 responses to “Not the best question to ask an adoptee

  1. Sunday Koffron Taylor

    April 5, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Yes, it sucks! For generation after generation. When I see those news stories about how this family of that had 7 or 8 deaths from breast cancer or heart disease over several generations I think my children and I will never have that kind of fair-warning because my mother at almost 70 is not allowed a copy of her birth certificate or any information about where she/we came from. In our case it is worse because we know very little of my dad’s father either. We just know that his mother and her sisters and now some of my cousins died young from heart problems. So for all I know my heart problems could be from both or all sides. I also think that all of the stress and trauma of my childhood has something to do with it too. Either way, I’d like to be her for my kids, and I can’t help but the more information I had the more likely that would be.


  2. Von

    April 5, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    Sucks and it wasn’t on the form I filled in only yesterday!


  3. The adopted ones

    April 5, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    Sunday – you’re right about it being generations impacted. Especially recessive diseases that can be passed without it showing up in a generation because you need a mate with the same recessive gene to cause the issue.

    I just cannot understand why this aspect has not been at least a focus…the it will never happen to me/us mentality works until it doesn’t…


  4. Fran Whelan

    April 6, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    It’s a problem that is never considered at the time of hand over (or wasn’t) – nobody had access to anything which indicated that hereditary conditions could skip generation, or lie hidden, so long as the BM was healthy, that was all that matters. I know that my BM has to take daily medication, but nobody will tell me what it is or what it’s for – it’s like having the sword of Damocles hanging over my head – do I have a condition which I should be getting treatment for?


  5. The adopted ones

    April 6, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Very sad indeed Fran – I do not see what people fear about revealing health conditions to family.



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