I’m thrilled to see so many adoptees talking on facebook and twitter, every year there are more and more finding their voices. Adoptees demanding space in adoption. Demanding to be heard instead of silenced. Not taking being told to sit down and be quiet from people who came into the world of adoption as adults, instead finding their community and voice, it all bodes well for the future of adoption.
For any younger adoptees just venturing in to find an adoption community on social media:
Being adopted is a journey, how you feel now may become more complicated or even change completely over the years, it may never change, be open to however you feel at the time – it’s the right way for you.
No one has the right to tell you how you should feel about your family, neither your relationship or feelings for them, or about the fact that they chose to adopt you. Trust yourself.
None of us feel the same way about being adopted, it’s specific to the journey we’ve travelled.
You are part of the history of adoption, just like we all are. Learn about adoption history, don’t just accept throw-away statements by others as fact. Do your own research, learn the good, the bad, the downright ugly that’s part of adoption history. Learn it as it applies to each group in adoption, understand how the hierarchy in adoption plays out today, how it played out in the past. Adoption will always need improvement, understand the practices of today and be aware of what still needs to be done better, and if you’re so inclined, speak up.
Above all, listen to many voices, voices from all groups in adoption. Find voices that offer you inclusion without requiring you to change who you are, what you feel, to be accepted by them. They will be the community that will be there to walk with you if you need them. They will be your best support when you need someone to just be there.
I say the above because if I didn’t have both long-time and new friends in the adoption community to be with, talk with, it would lessen the quality of my life, they get me in a way others don’t. So this is also a shout out to all those who have become part of my community – thank you, you’ve made a difference for me.