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Tag Archives: truth

Simple truths

I believe it is a tragedy that I will never meet my mother or father and know our story.

I could not have asked for a better mom and dad who have/were always there for me.

The above two statements are my truths, neither statement detracts, devalues, or compensates for the other.  Each belief exists separate from the other inside me, to me, this is what being adopted is.

 
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Posted by on November 27, 2015 in Adoption

 

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Challenge for parents about adoptee rights…

For anyone opposed to the adoptee having the right to their original birth certificate, a historical document created by those who witnessed the birth.  A factual, unaltered birth certificate.  I invite you to consider what feelings and thoughts would run through your mind if this was your child, as an adult, posting on Facebook.  Superimpose your child’s picture and details over the picture in the article below of the adoptee sharing personal, intimate details about himself to the world.  Dig deep, really imagine how you would feel seeing your child doing what they feel is the only way they can ever find the answers they seek, sharing the private personal details of their story to the world.  Would it spark anger that they feel they have no other option but to put themselves out there like that?  That the only reason they have to do this is because they are adopted, that you, adopted them.  Every adoptee who does this also has parents just like you…

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Posted by on June 13, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Question for many in the adoption community…

I’m sure we are all guilty of this to a certain extent, but is it really necessary to point out when an adoptee speaks – that not all adoptees are the same, think the same, have the same experience?

If you think it is necessary, then may I ask why?

Is it because you didn’t like that adoptee’s views on adoption, because it doesn’t match your view?

Is it some bias, or internalized belief you have about adoptees, that makes us different from you?  If yes, please, do explain how we are different.

Do you fear that other people listening, don’t have the level of intelligence that you have, to know that everyone is unique, and has their own feelings based on their lived experience?

Please tell me why you need to point that out in the comments every time an adoptee speaks…

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Family Tree and All About Me assignments…

By TAO

I don’t follow Jen Hatmaker, but from time to time I have read her posts, such as her three posts on ethics after Kathryn Joyce’s “The Child Catchers” came out, which caused the people in the Orphan Adoption Movement (or whatever they call themselves) to get so upset.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Definition of openness is changing…

By TAO

Within the last six months, I have read several posts on the difference between open adoption, what defines openness, and what closed adoption means.  I’m seeing this explained on personal blogs, FB pages, and elsewhere.

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Posted by on July 13, 2014 in Adoption

 

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The problem with lists of “Famous People Who Were Adopted”…

By TAO

Because of my personality, quirks, whatever you want to call it, I like lists that are presented as factual, to actually be true.  Famous Adoptee lists generally aren’t.  I’m using this one because it’s handy (out of so many different posts with lists on this subject).  So here is my “list” of what the problem is when people use lists of Famous Adoptee Lists followed by fact checking of the list…

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Posted by on July 10, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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I obviously didn’t get that memo…

Apparently, times have changed and no one sent me the memo…that the statement below is hurtful and ignorant…according to those on Adoption: Share the Love Facebook page.

“Adoption is a great option…but only in cases where there are no capable and willing biological parents.”

What I take from that, is that if that saying is hurtful, or ignorant, some actually think it’s perfectly fine to give your baby away…even though you are capable (ability and means to raise a baby) and willing (want to parent to that child)…

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Posted by on May 8, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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It’s time for change…

By TAO

Magnolia with rain dropsMy search was done via a Confidential Intermediary (also called a CI).  That was never the way I had imagined my search going throughout the years, but I couldn’t physically search, nor was my brain competent enough to do it either.  So, I was left with putting my search in the hands of strangers – not something I would have chosen before, but at the time, I felt I had no choice because it was important to share with them what happened to me, just in case, it could protect them. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 4, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Because she gave me life…

By TAO

If your mom, cousin, friend, the random person on the street – said she loved her mom because she gave me life, you probably wouldn’t think anything of it other than she was explaining the most basic of all concepts – of course I love my mom – she gave me life… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 1, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Different perspectives…

By TAO

Time for other voices to be heard, and realistically, my voice is too angry right now.  Angry after reading a specific document this week that I can’t stop thinking about… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics

 

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Different story, same response…

By TAO

Please excuse the double posting of some of the tweets – first time trying this…

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Posted by on February 19, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Unconscious bias in the adoption community

By TAO

I like a good adoption reunion story as much as anyone else.  People post the stories (myself included) on their blogs, facebook pages, twitter, with words like heartwarming, beautiful, wonderful.  One of the current ones making the rounds that is accepted by everyone in the adoption community; fifty years later siblings meet each other.  The other story is about twins separated at birth (unknown to them) – finding each other twenty some years later.  That one is also universally accepted because of that instinctive feelings of repugnance at the thought of separating twins. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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