The other day, Mimi wrote a tweet that caused me to think, deeply, and to recognise that the first question that popped in my head happened for no other reason than my own white privilege. Read the rest of this entry »
Tag Archives: truth
I’d wave it and magically remove the insecurity *some* adoptive parents have over commonly used terms that offend them, every time. Terms that aren’t going to magically disappear from the lexicon. Terms like ‘real’ in reference to a biological family. I’d also bestow on you the ability to take the power away from terms like ‘real’. Read the rest of this entry »
There’s a father whose been fighting for 8 years to parent his daughter. He’s had to fight in both Utah and Colorado courts. Can you imagine the heartache? The devastation? All the time lost? Every first he will never witness? The memories they should have made together? The emotional toll? And he’s still fighting.
This is a Father… Read the rest of this entry »
You are not adopting an ‘orphan’…
It’s impossible to be an orphan before you are born…
It’s impossible to be an orphan when you are delivered by a living mother… Read the rest of this entry »
I believe it is a tragedy that I will never meet my mother or father and know our story.
I could not have asked for a better mom and dad who have/were always there for me.
The above two statements are my truths, neither statement detracts, devalues, or compensates for the other. Each belief exists separate from the other inside me, to me, this is what being adopted is.
For anyone opposed to the adoptee having the right to their original birth certificate, a historical document created by those who witnessed the birth. A factual, unaltered birth certificate. I invite you to consider what feelings and thoughts would run through your mind if this was your child, as an adult, posting on Facebook. Superimpose your child’s picture and details over the picture in the article below of the adoptee sharing personal, intimate details about himself to the world. Dig deep, really imagine how you would feel seeing your child doing what they feel is the only way they can ever find the answers they seek, sharing the private personal details of their story to the world. Would it spark anger that they feel they have no other option but to put themselves out there like that? That the only reason they have to do this is because they are adopted, that you, adopted them. Every adoptee who does this also has parents just like you…
I’m sure we are all guilty of this to a certain extent, but is it really necessary to point out when an adoptee speaks – that not all adoptees are the same, think the same, have the same experience?
If you think it is necessary, then may I ask why?
Is it because you didn’t like that adoptee’s views on adoption, because it doesn’t match your view?
Is it some bias, or internalized belief you have about adoptees, that makes us different from you? If yes, please, do explain how we are different.
Do you fear that other people listening, don’t have the level of intelligence that you have, to know that everyone is unique, and has their own feelings based on their lived experience?
Please tell me why you need to point that out in the comments every time an adoptee speaks…
I don’t follow Jen Hatmaker, but from time to time I have read her posts, such as her three posts on ethics after Kathryn Joyce’s “The Child Catchers” came out, which caused the people in the Orphan Adoption Movement (or whatever they call themselves) to get so upset. Read the rest of this entry »
Within the last six months, I have read several posts on the difference between open adoption, what defines openness, and what closed adoption means. I’m seeing this explained on personal blogs, FB pages, and elsewhere.
Because of my personality, quirks, whatever you want to call it, I like lists that are presented as factual, to actually be true. Famous Adoptee lists generally aren’t. I’m using this one because it’s handy (out of so many different posts with lists on this subject). So here is my “list” of what the problem is when people use lists of Famous Adoptee Lists followed by fact checking of the list…
Apparently, times have changed and no one sent me the memo…that the statement below is hurtful and ignorant…according to those on Adoption: Share the Love Facebook page.
“Adoption is a great option…but only in cases where there are no capable and willing biological parents.”
What I take from that, is that if that saying is hurtful, or ignorant, some actually think it’s perfectly fine to give your baby away…even though you are capable (ability and means to raise a baby) and willing (want to parent to that child)…