November 2nd prompt…You, the Personal, & the Professional
We talk a lot about our personal lives but many of us also have professional lives. Let’s assume that our personal and professional lives cross at some point (for some people this happens more than others).
Has adoption also affected your professional life? If so, how?
Yesterday, I noted I thrived in my professional life, and I did. It was also the first time being adopted was not part of who I was – to others. That was freeing.
Yet I believe adoption affected my professional life, while also being absent.
It took me a long time to form my thoughts on this, and am still unsure how to frame them, so here goes. I have a strong belief in traits being hereditary, yet, I also believe they can be enhanced, or downplayed, based on life experiences. While I believe my need for perfection is a positive trait I inherited – I also believe trait was enhanced by my feelings of insecurity, and not being good enough, that stems from my feelings about me and why I was adopted that I could never shake. Combined they put too much pressure on my need for perfection, to the point of being sure (despite knowing the work product was right), that I couldn’t have done it right and there was a glaring error somewhere. I spent far too many hours – not just double checking – it went way past that, but also waking in the middle of the night terrified I had made a mistake. That insecurity also resulted in my inability to ever get past speaking in front of people, which goes back into my belief of how stress of the mother – impacts the baby in the womb – throughout life.
I say the above knowing I cannot prove any of it is related to adoption, yet when I look back to try to find some parenting mistake, or treatment by anyone in my life to explain it – there is nothing. The only thing I can point to is my feelings about adoption. Accept the explanation, or not, as you will.
While I was gathering my thoughts yesterday on the prompt question, I was listening to this ted talk that actually explains very well how all experiences in our life become who we are – not just a part of us. It’s a short talk just around 12 minutes.
Julian Baggini: Is there a real you?
What makes you, you? Is it how you think of yourself, how others think of you, or something else entirely? In this talk, Julian Baggini draws from philosophy and neuroscience to give a surprising answer.
Julian Baggini is a journalist and philosopher who studies the complexities of personal identity. He is currently the editor-in-chief of the Philosophers’ Magazine.
See Shadow’s thoughts on this November 2nd prompt