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Tag Archives: closed records

Brilliant post by Lori….

Dear TX Senator Donna Campbell,

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Posted by on June 3, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Ancestors I can and can’t claim for different reasons

I’ve researched my paternal family tree since the 1940 census was released a couple of years ago that allowed me to know who my grandparents were.  While I’ve hit brick walls on part of the tree, other parts have become amazingly clear and well documented.  There’s a pretty big reason for how well documented it is, and yet, I want even more info than I’ve found, at the same time, I realize what a gift just having the knowledge to get this far and that makes me feel guilty, knowing others will never have theirs.  Everyday I see postings by people born in the 1940’s whose parents would have been born in the first quarter of the last century, what hope do they have of even being able to do a family tree? Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2015 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Knowledge…

By TAO

In the past I’ve talked a lot about how I was challenged by the lack of physical genetic mirroring, both growing up, and in my adult life.  I’m sure pictures help in that respect for some adoptees today, and I’m thankful they have what so many of us never had.  This post is not about genetic mirroring in that respect, because it’s only scratching the surface of the topic.

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Posted by on November 1, 2014 in Adoption

 

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Open Adoption does not mean adoption records are not sealed…

By TAO

A comment by Robyn on the last post about adoptee rights made me dig into my draft posts to find this one to revise and post.  Part of Robyn’s comment said this: “We recently had a conversation on an open adoption group about how open adoption does not have anything to do with open records. Someone thought it did – that in an open adoption, the records weren’t sealed.”

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Posted by on October 24, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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What some adoptive parents think they know about what happens to the original birth certificate…

By TAO

A question was asked on the Adoptive Families FB page on whether the adoptive parents had obtained their child’s original birth certificate before the adoption was finalized.  I have to say that while I think adoptive parents should get a copy, it also makes them less likely to recognise that their child, based on the state they were born in may not have the same right as all other citizens born there.  If they have their child’s OBC there is no incentive for some to stand up and say equality matters for all adoptees.  To me that’s a problem… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on October 20, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Asking for negative stories?

By TAO

Reading an adoption reunion story in Canada on the CBC News site.  I started reading the comments and it struck me how pleasant they all are, even the responses to comments they don’t agree with.  People commenting being civil.  Then I came to this comment and I started laughing…

“Please share some of the nightmare stories about reunions with long lost parents and children. We always hear about the happy ones and readers will sometimes write in to say that theirs was not so happy. I am sure there are a significant number of reunions which can turn nasty. However I doubt many of those would be willing to share details.”

It just struck me funny, a rallying cry for negative stories about adoption reunions.  Perhaps an insecure adoptive parent in a closed adoption?  A prospective adoptive parent?  One who uses search queries such as “positive adoption story” that leads them to this blog?  To me, the wording used in the comment does not sound like it is an adoptee speaking, if it was, the wording would be inclusive, instead of using words that speak of others in a group they aren’t part of.  Despite that rallying cry for negative adoption reunion stories, other commenters responded gently, and dare I say, politely?  Overall, it seemed most commenters felt that adult adoptees should have the right to know where they came from and that right trumped a parent by birth right to privacy.

Well done, more and more people are standing up for the rights of the adoptee to know where they came from.

N.L mom reunited with Alberta son she thought was dead

 

 
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Posted by on September 16, 2014 in Adoption

 

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Good grief, this gets so tiring…

By TAO

Earlier this week the Today Show included a segment on a daughter meeting her mother for the first time.  A daughter that resorted to using Facebook to try to find her by putting her personal information out on the internet (risky), but it paid off, and a reunion happened.  So what happens in the comments on the Today Facebook page after the segment aired?  (Be warned that I am using “adoptive parents” repeatedly throughout because that is what was used)

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Posted by on August 23, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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The problem with lists of “Famous People Who Were Adopted”…

By TAO

Because of my personality, quirks, whatever you want to call it, I like lists that are presented as factual, to actually be true.  Famous Adoptee lists generally aren’t.  I’m using this one because it’s handy (out of so many different posts with lists on this subject).  So here is my “list” of what the problem is when people use lists of Famous Adoptee Lists followed by fact checking of the list…

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Posted by on July 10, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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It’s time for change…

By TAO

Magnolia with rain dropsMy search was done via a Confidential Intermediary (also called a CI).  That was never the way I had imagined my search going throughout the years, but I couldn’t physically search, nor was my brain competent enough to do it either.  So, I was left with putting my search in the hands of strangers – not something I would have chosen before, but at the time, I felt I had no choice because it was important to share with them what happened to me, just in case, it could protect them. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 4, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Wishing the best…

By TAO

Long-time readers know one of my biggest concerns is that adoption, in particular closed adoption, denies adoptees access to knowledge of what health issues run in their family, that kept members would be aware of.  With openness that is mitigated somewhat, provided the adoption stays open and both sides of the adoptee’s family are included, not perfect, but better.

Yet, there are still closed adoptions both domestically, and internationally beyond anyone’s control.  Sometimes, it isn’t just knowledge that is needed to make the difference.  Thankfully in this story, the family had searched for their child’s family prior to the diagnosis, and had success in finding them.

I hope everything goes well, and according to plan, my thoughts are with the family.

Stratham boy finds bone marrow match

 
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Posted by on March 11, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Different perspectives…

By TAO

Time for other voices to be heard, and realistically, my voice is too angry right now.  Angry after reading a specific document this week that I can’t stop thinking about… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics

 

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Still don’t understand what Adoptee Rights is about?

By TAO

The short version: Not all Adult Adoptees born in the USA are allowed as adults to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate (OBC) that non-adopted have the right to receive.

Which Adoptees are denied the right:  If they were born in a state that still has sealed records laws on the books.

You think your child is exempt because you have an open adoption: No, they still are denied the right by the state of their birth to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate if that state that still has sealed records laws on the books covering the year your child was born.

You made sure you got a copy of your child’s Original Birth Certificate before it was sealed:  Thank you for doing that on behalf of your child.  Your child is still denied the same right as non-adopted to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate if the state they were born in is a sealed records state covering the year they were born. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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