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Tag Archives: adoptees

Finding common ground, it is possible…

By TAO

Red Flower by TAO 2014A comment was left here yesterday, that I declined to approve.  On the scale of some comments I have seen, it wasn’t the worst by any means.  It was though, derogatory to an entire segment of people in adoption, no exceptions, painting all with the same brush.  There is nothing to be gained by such comments except a further widening of the chasm between groups.  We can choose to come together, and agree to disagree on some points, and then, focus on points we do agree with… Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2014 in Adoption, Ethics

 

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Tired and angry…

By TAO

I’m angry and I am having a hard time getting past that.  It’s starting to spill over into my life and I’m not seeing the beauty in the world around me.  I don’t want that to be my norm.  Part of the reason is that I am so angry that I can’t find the words to release it, and tired that so few in adoption speak up loudly when things are not right, combined with the fact there doesn’t seem to be an end of cases that involve adoptions not being done right. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics

 

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Because she gave me life…

By TAO

If your mom, cousin, friend, the random person on the street – said she loved her mom because she gave me life, you probably wouldn’t think anything of it other than she was explaining the most basic of all concepts – of course I love my mom – she gave me life… Read the rest of this entry »

 
18 Comments

Posted by on March 1, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Different story, same response…

By TAO

Please excuse the double posting of some of the tweets – first time trying this…

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Posted by on February 19, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Still don’t understand what Adoptee Rights is about?

By TAO

The short version: Not all Adult Adoptees born in the USA are allowed as adults to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate (OBC) that non-adopted have the right to receive.

Which Adoptees are denied the right:  If they were born in a state that still has sealed records laws on the books.

You think your child is exempt because you have an open adoption: No, they still are denied the right by the state of their birth to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate if that state that still has sealed records laws on the books covering the year your child was born.

You made sure you got a copy of your child’s Original Birth Certificate before it was sealed:  Thank you for doing that on behalf of your child.  Your child is still denied the same right as non-adopted to request, and receive, their Original Birth Certificate if the state they were born in is a sealed records state covering the year they were born. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents

 

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Running into adoption, yet again…

By TAO

The other day, I was chatting with one of the guys in my class, talking about our stories, and I explained one of the reasons I’m there is because of being adopted, the lack of family health history that I wasn’t allowed to know, because by law I couldn’t know my family of birth.

Well, it turns out he had a couple of cousins who were adopted…  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2014 in Adoption

 

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Why is adoption still mired in secrecy?

By TAO

Bird in SnowIf you are on Facebook, then I’m sure you have seen pictures of adoptees holding up signs detailing their search to know who they were born to be, or posts seeking information.  Adoptees reduced to putting their personal information, and private story out there for any, and all, to see – only because they were adopted, and being adopted took away the most basic human right of all – to know who you were born to be. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics

 

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No one seems to want to find common ground anymore

By TAO

I’m the type of person who strikes up conversations in check-out lines and most any other public area.  Usually, I can find a common ground with someone, and also know there are areas we will disagree on, that works in life and on-line.  I don’t expect everyone, or even anyone to agree with me on all things, I do expect to be treated with common courtesy, and, do my best to treat others the same.  We all fail in that by the way.  So, where am going with this? Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 23, 2013 in Adoption

 

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Back in 1955 – Hearings related to Black Market Adoptions

By TAO,

I’m back to reading the subcommittee hearings on Juvenile Delinquency headed by Senator Kefauver, this time in Chicago.  I believe these subcommittee hearings put to rest whether Black Market adoptions happened, whether mothers were coerced or exploited, and, whether there really was an unlimited supply of adoptable babies.  Interestingly, they also seem to explain in detail why ICPC and other legislation exists today, and what drove that legislation.  Be warned this is a very long post…  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 14, 2013 in Adoption, Ethics

 

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Terms that trigger deep dark feelings of unworthiness…

By TAO

It’s funny how we all have our trigger words, words that punch us in the gut and make us feel bad.  With adoptive parents it seems for many that “real” is that trigger word, for first mothers there are many words that make them seem invisible, or worse, just a means to an end.  For some adopted, illegitimate bothers them, where bastard doesn’t and they wear it proudly.  Others don’t like either term.  Some like myself, prefer to use the term illegitimate because it is an accurate legal term that describes the fact that I was born to a mother who was unmarried.  To me it carries no stigma or unworthiness, just a definition.  I don’t like the term bastard, it brings up bad connotations about the person, it becomes personal. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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Shadow’s Spin Off From The Post “Double Standards In Adoption”

By Shadow The Adoptee

I first began this to be a comment in response to TAO’s post, “Double Standards In Adoption”. This is one of those things that, as an adoptee, I struggle with when the subject comes up, because, for me, it is such a slap in the face, dished out by the powers that be of adoption. These powers that be, who are financed, and encouraged, by adoption agencies, use the excuse of “protecting a birth mother’s right to privacy” to prevent adoptees from what is their birth right as a human being; the knowledge of their biology. Instead of posting it as a comment, I wanted it to stand alone. I am the less vocal one on this blog, I felt the need to speak up on this subject, and my words can stand on their own. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Double Standards in Adoption…

By TAO

I’ve been silent for a while trying to put these thoughts on paper, which has turned into more of a challenge than I imagined it would.  Having said that, these thoughts have sat in the back of my mind since I read an article on changing law to allow adult adoptees their original birth certificate, that’s not what my thoughts are about – just what triggered them.  There are so many ways standards only apply when it benefits adoption, and are completely ignored when it favors the family of birth.  Apologies in advance for mistakes I still don’t see.  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on November 6, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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