Tag Archives: adoptees

Why is adoption still mired in secrecy?


Bird in SnowIf you are on Facebook, then I’m sure you have seen pictures of adoptees holding up signs detailing their search to know who they were born to be, or posts seeking information.  Adoptees reduced to putting their personal information, and private story out there for any, and all, to see – only because they were adopted, and being adopted took away the most basic human right of all – to know who you were born to be. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on December 28, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics


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No one seems to want to find common ground anymore


I’m the type of person who strikes up conversations in check-out lines and most any other public area.  Usually, I can find a common ground with someone, and also know there are areas we will disagree on, that works in life and on-line.  I don’t expect everyone, or even anyone to agree with me on all things, I do expect to be treated with common courtesy, and, do my best to treat others the same.  We all fail in that by the way.  So, where am going with this? Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on December 23, 2013 in Adoption


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Back in 1955 – Hearings related to Black Market Adoptions


I’m back to reading the subcommittee hearings on Juvenile Delinquency headed by Senator Kefauver, this time in Chicago.  I believe these subcommittee hearings put to rest whether Black Market adoptions happened, whether mothers were coerced or exploited, and, whether there really was an unlimited supply of adoptable babies.  Interestingly, they also seem to explain in detail why ICPC and other legislation exists today, and what drove that legislation.  Be warned this is a very long post…  Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on December 14, 2013 in Adoption, Ethics


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Terms that trigger deep dark feelings of unworthiness…


It’s funny how we all have our trigger words, words that punch us in the gut and make us feel bad.  With adoptive parents it seems for many that “real” is that trigger word, for first mothers there are many words that make them seem invisible, or worse, just a means to an end.  For some adopted, illegitimate bothers them, where bastard doesn’t and they wear it proudly.  Others don’t like either term.  Some like myself, prefer to use the term illegitimate because it is an accurate legal term that describes the fact that I was born to a mother who was unmarried.  To me it carries no stigma or unworthiness, just a definition.  I don’t like the term bastard, it brings up bad connotations about the person, it becomes personal. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on December 5, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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Shadow’s Spin Off From The Post “Double Standards In Adoption”

By Shadow The Adoptee

I first began this to be a comment in response to TAO’s post, “Double Standards In Adoption”. This is one of those things that, as an adoptee, I struggle with when the subject comes up, because, for me, it is such a slap in the face, dished out by the powers that be of adoption. These powers that be, who are financed, and encouraged, by adoption agencies, use the excuse of “protecting a birth mother’s right to privacy” to prevent adoptees from what is their birth right as a human being; the knowledge of their biology. Instead of posting it as a comment, I wanted it to stand alone. I am the less vocal one on this blog, I felt the need to speak up on this subject, and my words can stand on their own. Read the rest of this entry »


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Double Standards in Adoption…


I’ve been silent for a while trying to put these thoughts on paper, which has turned into more of a challenge than I imagined it would.  Having said that, these thoughts have sat in the back of my mind since I read an article on changing law to allow adult adoptees their original birth certificate, that’s not what my thoughts are about – just what triggered them.  There are so many ways standards only apply when it benefits adoption, and are completely ignored when it favors the family of birth.  Apologies in advance for mistakes I still don’t see.  Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on November 6, 2013 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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