Tag Archives: adoptees


I’ve been mulling on the reactions by the public, not only to the author of the article in my last post, but other recent articles written by, or about, adoptees.  The solution is to change the public view of adoption.  If it can be done, it will take honesty from the entire adoption community.  Right now, how the public sees adoption isn’t real.  I can see why they view it that way, when an article has a title about taboo topics of adoption, when it isn’t anything close.  The title intrigued me, so I read it, if those topics are taboo, then I now understand why anything hard in adoption is met with such dismay.  Dismay may be putting it too mildly, perhaps running screaming in the opposite direction is more realistic.  How can we ever hope to get the public to understand that adoption is complicated for the adopted person when people inside of adoption, think these are taboo topics in adoption?

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Posted by on January 19, 2015 in Adoption


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Why would an adoptive parent say this?


If you are an adoptive parent, or want to adopt – please, please, stop telling adoptees they should be grateful they weren’t aborted, or the dance around the subject using words like she chose life.  Either statement can be equally damaging to a person’s ego, self-image, self-esteem.  It’s just plain mean-spirited to tell a child (or adult) they should be grateful they weren’t aborted, regardless of how you word it.  It doesn’t even matter what the mother intended (or didn’t intend to do), and I’d note that unless you were that child’s mother you have no clue, it’s presumptuous to assume that abortion was even a consideration.

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Posted by on September 20, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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Wishing peace, again…


Words aren’t coming easy today, for one, I am not a fan of any commercialized holiday – whether it is Christmas, Valentines Day, or Mother’s Day.  Mother’s Day has been hard for me for several reasons in the last few decades – but since my search ended with a grave, it has been harder than before.   Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on May 11, 2014 in Adoption


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Finding common ground, it is possible…


Red Flower by TAO 2014A comment was left here yesterday, that I declined to approve.  On the scale of some comments I have seen, it wasn’t the worst by any means.  It was though, derogatory to an entire segment of people in adoption, no exceptions, painting all with the same brush.  There is nothing to be gained by such comments except a further widening of the chasm between groups.  We can choose to come together, and agree to disagree on some points, and then, focus on points we do agree with… Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on April 8, 2014 in Adoption, Ethics


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Tired and angry…


I’m angry and I am having a hard time getting past that.  It’s starting to spill over into my life and I’m not seeing the beauty in the world around me.  I don’t want that to be my norm.  Part of the reason is that I am so angry that I can’t find the words to release it, and tired that so few in adoption speak up loudly when things are not right, combined with the fact there doesn’t seem to be an end of cases that involve adoptions not being done right. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on March 9, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics


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Because she gave me life…


If your mom, cousin, friend, the random person on the street – said she loved her mom because she gave me life, you probably wouldn’t think anything of it other than she was explaining the most basic of all concepts – of course I love my mom – she gave me life… Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on March 1, 2014 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


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