Feelings

Christine McVie of Fleetwood Mac passed away yesterday, another great from the era of Rock & Roll. Memories were instantly evoked of long gone yesterdays. Days when I was struggling so hard with all those adoption feelings that were never spoken aloud, the angst felt, the anger of what was and the feelings of abandonment so strong. The drives I went on after getting off work at night, just driving with the tunes cranked and the windows down helped kept me alive.

I still have those feelings of abandonment at times and expect I always will.

I still have trust issues when it’s personal.

I still doubt I’m worthy of being loved.

Adoption has it’s place but it should be exceedingly rare, and only when every other option has been fully explored, because the price paid over a lifetime is too high.

Rest in Peace Christine McVie.