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In Adoption, Loss Never Truly Ends.

08 Oct

This morning I woke up to a tweet by @adopteerights.com

A tweet that chilled my soul.

A tweet that foretold the desire by some to make many more babies available for adoption.

I don’t think creating more Adoptees is the solution; yet there are people who think it’s the perfect solution, because people want to adopt babies for whatever reason they have. Adoption Agencies want to broker more adoptions because that’s how they stay in business. It’s a never-ending cycle dependent on separating a baby from their mother; from their family and ancestors; from the life they were supposed to live. To a life that comes complete with loss woven into the very fabric of who they are. A life to also fulfill the needs of a stranger to be a parent. A life that started with losing their mother, a loss that also severed them from their family, to an adoptive family in a “as if born to” legal document, unless of course, the adopter petitions the court to dissolve the adoption. Note, that to my knowledge, the one adopted doesn’t have a way to petition the court to dissolve their adoption, because at the end of the day we are merely the product.

I’ll end with the question for you to ponder – if they are truly pro-life, why would they chose to fund something that has an end goal of separating a mother and child, instead of using their funds to finally create a viable pathway to get support for the mother to raise her child.

What is Pro-Life about severing a child from their mother, family, their ancestors, their family tree?

“I saw behind me those who had gone, and before me those who are to come. I looked back and saw my father and his father and all our fathers, and in front to see my son and his son, and the sons upon sons beyond. And their eyes were my eyes. As I felt so they had felt, and were to feel, as then, so now, as tomorrow and forever. Then I was not afraid for I was in a long line that had no beginning and no end. And the hand of his father grasped my father’s hand and his hand was in mine, and my unborn son took my right hand and all, up and down the line that stretched from time that was to time that is not yet, raised their hands to show the link, and we found that we were one, born of Woman, Son of Man, made in the Image, fashioned in the Womb by the Will of God, the Eternal Father.” ~ Robert Llewellyn

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16 Comments

Posted by on October 8, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics

 

Tags: , , , ,

16 responses to “In Adoption, Loss Never Truly Ends.

  1. pj

    October 10, 2022 at 1:58 am

    Thank,you.Tao, for sharing and your insightful comments/questions.
    Adoption is not the answer…

    Liked by 1 person

     
  2. legitimatebastard

    October 10, 2022 at 7:14 pm

    I am posting my comments here, and on my blog, as well as on the comment section at PillarCatholic. I suspect my comments will be deleted over there, because, well, you know they don’t want to hear from the product. We are the Domestic Supply, but we must remain like silent infants whose only language is crying.

    So, here is my commentary, in separate Parts.

    Part 1

    Because society views all adopted people as perpetual children, some adopted adults refer to themselves as “an adopted child”. In this article, Elizabeth, calls herself “an adopted child,” even though she is an adult. “Adopted child” rolls off the tongue easily. One really has to think before speaking, especially about adoption. The correct term is “adult adoptee”. Or, to be more specific, Elizabeth Kirk could say “I was adopted by my step-father when I was a child.”

    Elizabeth doesn’t mention anything at all about her biological father. He sired her so he is her father, even though she doesn’t want to admit this fact of her life. Sure, she loves her step-father-turned-adopted-father. I love my adoptive father, too, but to ignore the facts of life is to ignore life itself.

    Every single one of us was sired by a father, gestated inside our mother, and birthed by our mother. These are facts.

    Adoption is a legal transaction that does not replace birth. These are facts.

    And yet, for every single adoption – including the adoption of step-children – the adopted person’s birth certificate is revoked, sealed, and replaced by a false-fact birth certificate that replaces the adoptee’s name of birth with the new name of adoption, and replaces the names of the natural parents with the names of the adoptive parents. This gives the impression that these people gave birth to the re-named child.

    This is a denial of the facts of life.

    This is lying.

    Lying is a sin.

    Liked by 2 people

     
    • beth62

      October 12, 2022 at 12:47 pm

      Adoption taught me that it is absolutely fine to lie. I’ve been encouraged by my adoptive family and every entity involved with my adoption, church, adoption ageny, doctor, gov’t, judge, media, to lie about the existance of my origin.
      I am an adoptee. I am a liar.
      The stigma is the lie.
      I’ve been made a lie, to live with.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • legitimatebastard

        October 12, 2022 at 2:44 pm

        Please, Beth, go over to The Pillar’s page for this article. Payy your $5.00 and cancel your card payment next month. Tell THEM what you said here. The Catholic Church needs to know what adoption really is and the nasty effects it creates for those of us who are forced to live a lie.

        Thank you, Beth. For your input here. All in love and firm belief iin our truths.

        Like

         
  3. legitimatebastard

    October 10, 2022 at 7:15 pm

    Part 2

    Catholics promote advertising through websites that they want to adopt “your baby”. This is trolling for vulnerable women to give up their babies to the possession of adopters to avoid abortion. This is targeting women for their babies. The end result is the destruction of a family for the purpose of owning someone else’s baby. This is also coveting someone else’s baby, which is a sin because coveting someone else’s spouse is a sin.

    There is no mention in this article of lifelong trauma imposed on the mothers who relinquish their infants to adoption. And no mention of the fathers, as if they aren’t important. And, conveniently, no mention of ACEs – Adverse Childhood Experiences.

    Why would anyone willingly inflict stressful and traumatizing events on a newborn?

    Babies feel pre-verbal loss of mother as all-encompassing body and brain trauma. The child grows up in fear, yet doesn’t know why there is lingering anxiety and panic, or unexplained illnesses. The infant given away at birth or as an older baby or as a young child feels this as abandonment, even when adopted by parental care givers who love this child. Adverse Childhood Experiences develop into medical issues or mental health issues later in life. This trauma is also passed down to the adopted person’s children through a process that changes gene expression: epigenetics.

    Why would you intentionally cause life-long emotional trauma on babies and children?

    Why would you want to cause emotional pain for natural mothers and fathers? Or our siblings?

    Liked by 2 people

     
  4. legitimatebastard

    October 10, 2022 at 7:16 pm

    Part 3

    I am Domestic Infant Supply, Model 1956, January:

    I was born the 5th child to married parents in 1956. My mother died of cancer when I was three months old. A Catholic priest told my father that “the baby needs two parents.” Neither the priest, nor Catholic Charities, offered help to my father to keep our family together. No offering of food, clothes, diapers, child care, or respite care for my father who had to go to work while his older children were in school.

    This is not being Christian.

    No one in their right mind today would tell a father of a newborn and four older children under the age of 9 to give up his newborn daughter to adoption.

    Thirty years after meeting my natural father for the first time, he was recovering from open heart surgery. He sat in a wheel chair when I walked in to his room in a nursing home. He cried, “If someone would have told me what would happen to you, if someone would have told me how to keep you…”

    I knelt down in front of him, took his hands in mine, and said, “I never held it against you, Dad. You were in an impossible situation. You were used.”

    I loved my natural father, and my natural mother. I also loved my adoptive parents.

    The ugliness of adoption is there and must be dealt with. This is a burden I wouldn’t inflict on anyone.

    Liked by 2 people

     
  5. legitimatebastard

    October 10, 2022 at 7:18 pm

    Part 4

    In 1956, my name at birth and (Catholic) baptism was Doris Michol Sippel. I carried that name and birth certificate for the first 15 months of my life. I was legally adopted at age of one year and one week, but my birth certificate remained intact for another three months. My Original Birth Certificate was then replaced with a new birth certificate that stated I was born as Joan Mary Wheeler. My natural parents’ names were swapped out and replaced by the names of my adoptive parents, as if they had sired me and birthed me.

    In 1959, my adoptive parents asked their lawyer to contact the church in which I was baptized to have a new baptismal certificate issued in my adopted name of Joan Mary Wheeler. The priest wrote up a new baptismal certificate with my new name and the names of my adoptive parents, as if my actual baptism didn’t take place.

    The priest lied.

    The State Bureau of Vital Statistics lied.

    My Catholic adoptive parents lied.

    Lying is a sin.

    My baptismal certificate was falsified to show proof that I was baptized so that my adoptive parents could send me to Catholic schools.

    According to Cannon law, a person can be baptized only once. So, to have a 2nd baptismal certificate in my legal name of Joan Wheeler is morally wrong. I was baptized in the name of Doris Michol Sippel in the eyes of their god. Joan Wheeler was never baptized, yet her baptismal certificate says she was baptized as Joan Wheeler. That is not true.

    My Original Birth Certificate was revoked, sealed forever, and replaced by a false-fact birth certificate created so that my adopters could say I was their child. I was their adopted daughter. They were not responsible for siring me, gestating me, nor birthing me. Their names did not, and do not now, belong on my birth certificate. Their names are on the court order of adoption, which is the truth.

    It is morally wrong for anyone to claim on a government-issued birth certificate that they sired, gestated, and gave birth to a child when they didn’t. This ought to be illegal – to lie on an official birth certificate. But, in adoption, since the 1930s, it is perfectly legal to lie on a government-issued birth certificate.

    This law must change. Adopted people have the moral, ethical, and human right to the truth of our births. We should have the legal right to one – and only one – birth certificate like all non-adopted people.

    Are you paying attention, Elizabeth Kirk?

    You call yourself a lawyer in family law?

    Do you really understand adoption and vital statistics laws?
    I don’t think that you do.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  6. legitimatebastard

    October 10, 2022 at 7:18 pm

    Part 5

    I legally reclaimed my name in 2016. But my legal birth certificate remained in the name of Joan Wheeler. Why? Because the final step to changing one’s name requires the State Dept. of Vital Statistics to place the new legal name on a new amended birth certificate with the names of the “parents of record”, which, in my case, my “parents of record” were my adoptive parents. I certainly did not want a new, amended, birth certificate stating that my adopters, Edward and Doloris Wheler, gave birth to me as Doris Sippel!

    In 2019, I sued New York State and won a partial victory. I won the right to replace the names of my adopters with the names of my natural parents on a new legal birth certificate. My Original Birth Certificate is still revoked and sealed. The court order of adoption still stands as proof of my adoption.

    Adoption is child abuse by forced separation at birth from mother, and father, siblings, extended family, family history and culture. Adoption is identity theft. Adoption is unnecessary lifelong trauma for both mothers and their infants. Family preservation, kinship care, and legal custodial guardianship provide legal protections for the child who truly needs a home.

    I’m sure you’ll delete my comments here.

    But don’t worry. I posted my comments on my blog with a link to your blog post calling for the inhumane removal of infants from their mothers at birth.

    Stop inflicting your beliefs onto other people. A woman’s body is hers and not yours. Whatever she decides to do with her pregnancy is none of your business.

    Liked by 2 people

     
    • beth62

      October 12, 2022 at 12:14 pm

      Thank you legit. I agree with you 1000%.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • legitimatebastard

        October 12, 2022 at 12:50 pm

        You are very welcome, Beth!!!

        Now, we have to keep marching forward. Someone, someday, will pay attention and changes these laws that were meant to legitimize bastards upon adoption. But I was born to married parents. And then adopted. But adoption laws and vital statistics laws say that all adopted people should be issued new birth certificates after adoption. This makes no sense to rational people.

        Go over to their website. Pay the low montly payment of $5. Write your response to this article. And keep your membership or cancel at anytiime. make the effort to tell them to really think about what they are doing.

        Thank YOU for knowing what OUR truths are and for helping to make the world a safer place for ALL adotped people — and for our natural parents!

        Liked by 1 person

         
        • beth62

          October 16, 2022 at 1:39 pm

          I will when I get back to my computer. Traveling, I tired my old eyes cant see chit on this big little phone. Its my drowning in pumpkins and apples time from dark til dark again.. You are welcome to copy and post it for me. Id be happy if you did.

          Like

           
  7. legitimatebastard

    October 10, 2022 at 7:30 pm

    All of my comments can also be viewed at this link: https://wordpress.com/post/forbiddenfamily.com/6762

    Like

     
  8. legitimatebastard

    October 10, 2022 at 7:35 pm

    Oh, I see. They want money to be able to post comments. The hell I’m giving them money!!! Ha! They really don’t want to hear from us who are their Domestic Infant Supply.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  9. legitimatebastard

    October 11, 2022 at 1:38 pm

    I paid $5.00 just to post my comments over at The Pillar. Sign-up said I can cancel my monhtly payments anytime. Good. Go over there, pay a measley five bucks, and go give them hell. They deserve it.

    Like

     
  10. cb

    October 13, 2022 at 12:55 am

    “I don’t think creating more Adoptees is the solution; yet there are people who think it’s the perfect solution, because people want to adopt babies for whatever reason they have. ”

    That’s the thing that gets me. There is all this talk of adoption about being “in the best interest of the child” but those who encourage it often see to do so because they feel there is a “shortage”. There is a dishonesty to their message.

    As for the author, she says that her views on adoption were shaped by the adoption by her stepfather. However, stepfather adoption is not quite the same as “newborn adoption” – would she rather have been relinquished at birth by her mum and raised by others? I suspect not. I note she has adopted herself which of course shapes her views. I know that there are many wonderful APs out there but even so, when I see adoptive parents encourage and promote adoption, I just can’t help feeling that they should not be in a position to be allowed to do so.

    I’ve just been reading a book draft by someone who wants to use her book to promote adoption and it just feels so centred on her fellow APs rather than on the child herself – she even talks about there being an “adoption deficit”.

    Like

     
    • pj

      October 13, 2022 at 1:45 pm

      The recent Supreme Crt ruling overturning Roe V. Wade actually has a citation that mentions an older CDC study regarding declining birth rates.

      Like

       

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