I think one of the hardest aspects to accept is knowing my missing pieces, will always be missing.
Where was I before I was adopted?
Did I stay in hospital the whole time?
Or was I moved to a foster home as I was told?
How was I treated, wherever I was?
Who cared for me?
Was I just left in a crib to cry it out?
Or was I given something to keep me quiet?
And if yes, is that why I cried non-stop for months if not held?
Why did the state not have a non-identifying report for me?
Why did the story given to mom and dad not match the story my aunt told me decades later?
Why does it all matter so much to me many decades later now that I’m on the downhill side of life?
The adopted ones blog 
Lara/Trace
September 12, 2022 at 5:05 pm
I was placed in an orphanage for a few weeks then to a foster home for orphans. Then my adoptive parents had to foster me. So it was a mystery where that first foster home was – but I found an address in my adoption file. These things should NEVER be kept from us. TRUTH MATTERS.
LikeLiked by 5 people
TAO
September 13, 2022 at 8:24 pm
It does indeed matter what happened then.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lara/Trace
September 13, 2022 at 8:26 pm
I meant to add that when I was given to the future adopters, Edie said I didn’t cry at all. They could only tell I was sick was by looking in my eyes. Did I scream myself out?
LikeLike
strugglingeverafter
October 8, 2022 at 1:25 pm
That’s rough. Whatever the reason was, it wasn’t a healthy one. So sorry.
LikeLiked by 1 person