My Auntie reached out to me this morning via email; it matters to me more than I can say. We aren’t in contact regularly, but enough that it’s an Auntie/Niece relationship that is not just friendly, but warm and inviting, despite it being mainly via email. She sees me as part of the family, as the elder she makes sure I’m not left out and includes me in any family news. She’s also keenly aware I don’t know many family members so she makes sure I know who she’s talking about when she has some news about someone in the family.
It made my day to see her email to me. Such a small gesture to say hi, update me on family news, touching base with how I am. I’m sure she has no idea how much it means to me to be accepted as her niece, no added terminology, just her niece.
If you have a relative that was adopted out, but have reconnected, try to remember to be the one who reaches out. I say that because we weren’t kept in the family, so we can be really insecure about whether we are truly accepted back in.
We need you to want the connection enough to be the one reaching out.
The adopted ones blog 
swiftabc
June 20, 2022 at 9:12 pm
Your point is important, Being treated as a family member comforts us all, especially for those adopted out of a family and then rejoined by reunion. Your aunt shows a compassionate courtesy that is a not to your mutual connection.
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TAO
June 20, 2022 at 9:46 pm
Thanks Swift…
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maryleesdream
June 21, 2022 at 12:01 am
I asked my Aunt to tell me family news. It’s been years, and I’m pretty sure things have happened. I don’t even know if my father (her brother) is alive. There’s no good way to ask. My natural family will be offended no matter what I do.
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TAO
June 21, 2022 at 12:07 am
I’m so sorry Marylee – this is one of the reasons I did this post – we are in the divide between with no path to follow like other societal dictates have. Hugs
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Tara-Anita Brown
June 21, 2022 at 1:56 am
Makes me want to reach out to my brother more. Both of us were adopted from different families and backgrounds. We presently live in two different countries. Every time we talk about adoption he starts to cry…tears just roll..which surprises him. I tend to just be to myself. I know how it feels to be a part of our family but not really. He had it worst because when I was off to school our adopted family put him back in n older childrens home when was around14 years of age. I didnt know about it until I returned home.. When I used to call home and asked to speak to him they just said he wasnt at home. That was devastating for him.
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TAO
June 21, 2022 at 2:30 am
Oh Tara-Anita – that is terrible what was done. Hugs to both of you.
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c b
June 21, 2022 at 2:32 am
My relatives have made me feel part of the family which I appreciate. My uncles have kept me up to date with important news, sadly 2nd youngest uncle has died so it tends to be youngest uncle who now tends to let me know things. I think because of my particular situation (I’m the only living children of my mother who was much loved by her brothers), they see me as a link to her that they didn’t know they had.
I live halfway up the coast between Sydney and Brisbane so if any relatives are driving through, they will usually meet up and have lunch/dinner or something.
So I really do feel like I have cousin/niece relationships with my relatives, perhaps that is also helped by the fact that my extended adoptive family are all in NZ (my parents and us came over to Oz in the early 70s) and I have not seen much of them at all (I am not even sure of their names) so I think of extended family relationships as being quite fluid.
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