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No, We are fully human.

12 Jun

“WHAT ARE THE PROS AND CONS OF A CLOSED ADOPTION?”

“You have a lot to consider when deciding between a closed and open adoption. So, it’s important that you understand the pros and cons of choosing a closed adoption.”

“If you are leaning toward this type of adoption, here are some benefits that you may experience when working with closed adoption agencies.”

“A closed adoption may create more privacy in your life. The adoptive family and child will agree not to reach out to the prospective birth mother unless she allows it (and vice versa).” (bolding mine)

Who edits these articles? Whoever it is seems to be lacking basic common sense to even think that a newly born infant would have the cognitive ability to understand words, let alone be able to understand and could agree to never reach out to their mother by birth. Nor does an Adoptive Parent or Adoption Agency have the ability to dictate that the child as an adult forever deny themselves the right to know where they come from. That reeks of viewing the child as chattel.

No wonder so many folks are clueless about adoption, including those who have already adopted.

Tired of people assuming that adopted people must not have the same rights all other people have, including the right to informed consent.

SMDH

 
23 Comments

Posted by on June 12, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics

 

Tags: , ,

23 responses to “No, We are fully human.

  1. Heather

    June 13, 2022 at 7:38 am

    What a horrific article.

    Like

     
  2. Lori Lavender Luz

    June 13, 2022 at 1:25 pm

    Very clever, using the name AmericanPregnancy.org, a “nonprofit international wellness organization…There are no direct client services at this [TX] location.”

    https://www.google.com/search?q=8006722296&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS944US944&oq=8006722296&aqs=chrome..69i57.4824j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

    I see LIfetime Adoptions listed. Hmmmmm….

    Like

     
    • TAO

      June 13, 2022 at 11:00 pm

      I missed that! I think the whole thing is a sham to offer adoption providers.

      All of it breaks my heart knowing so many will not first be helped to parent, or given valid resources to contact to parent first. And now that the adoption industry has reduced the waiting times to sign and pretty much removed any time post signing to change their mind…it’s all just too much and there are going to be many *birth mothers* who will have to deal with what the BSE Mother’s have dealt with for decades. It’s all so wrong.

      Thanks for stopping by, I listened to the newest talk you three had, was pretty good, mean to include it in my next post.

      Like

       
  3. Jill Daviau

    June 14, 2022 at 3:12 am

    Another comment I hate is when people say “Open adoption (or any kind of adoption, really) is ethical when all parties agree to it.”

    All parties? Since when does the adoptee agree?

    Liked by 2 people

     
    • TAO

      June 14, 2022 at 12:40 pm

      Exactly Jill!

      Like

       
    • virtuous

      June 15, 2022 at 5:34 pm

      I do understand what you are saying. However as an adopting myself I fully recommend open adoption over closed

      Like

       
      • TAO

        June 15, 2022 at 6:02 pm

        Not sure what you are trying to say, or are you assuming I think closed is better than open?

        Like

         
        • virtuous

          June 15, 2022 at 6:19 pm

          My reasoning for open and I am an adopter so I have the right to say that is because as it open you are converse Kenneally trying to figure out why you were given up or who your parents are what your genetics are etc. etc. etc.

          Like

           
        • virtuous

          June 15, 2022 at 6:21 pm

          I do not believe in assuming because I think that’s the worst thing you can do I thought I read a statement from you saying you think closed are better than open if not I apologize

          Like

           
          • TAO

            June 15, 2022 at 6:28 pm

            Virtuous, the start of the post was a quote from an article posted on an adoption site, which I linked. A post that was highlighting closed adoptions.

            The actual point of my post was that you can’t dicate that the child brought up in a closed adoption will never search for their parents by birth. No adoption agency person has that power, no one in adoption at all has the power to stop an adoptee from searching.

            Like

             
            • virtuous

              June 15, 2022 at 7:00 pm

              Oh absolutely I totally agree with that! Really fight the fact that they have to go through so much just get some information after turning 18!

              Like

               
      • Jill Daviau

        June 15, 2022 at 6:18 pm

        As an adopting … what? Parent?

        I’m an adoptee who grew up in a closed adoption. I would’ve loved to have known physical descriptions of my bio parents/family or have had some pictures, but honestly I am not sure how I would have coped in an open adoption. Watching my mother leave me over and over, seeing my bio family go on without me, etc. would’ve broken my heart. I don’t think there’s any good way to be separated from your entire family.

        Like

         
        • virtuous

          June 15, 2022 at 6:22 pm

          The open ones that I have read about know their biological mother see her from time to time and I don’t feel like they are losing her every time she leaves she stays in their life

          Like

           
          • Jill Daviau

            June 16, 2022 at 6:08 pm

            You don’t feel? Are you an adoptee?

            I don’t just mean physically having to see her walk out the door again and again, but also emotionally. And not just birth mothers, but fathers and other relatives too. My birth father felt like home to me. I couldn’t imagine talking to him on the phone, then hanging up and having to return to people I never fit in with.

            You might be interested in “Sister Wish,” a blog from an adoptee who grew up in an open adoption from the 70s.

            Liked by 1 person

             
            • virtuous

              June 16, 2022 at 6:17 pm

              Yes I am an adoptee. I think only adopties can make 100% opinions on this topic

              Like

               
              • Jill Daviau

                June 16, 2022 at 9:29 pm

                Ah. Sorry about that. When you said you are an “adopting” upthread I thought you meant adoptive parent. I know many dictionaries don’t have “adoptee” as a word, and auto correct it to other words.

                Like

                 
            • virtuous

              June 16, 2022 at 6:18 pm

              I have a right to my opinion and you absolutely have a right to yours. I guess that’s why they call it freedom of speech even though this administration is trying to take that away from us!

              Like

               
  4. beth62

    June 14, 2022 at 1:09 pm

    https://americanpregnancy.org/unplanned-pregnancy/a-womens-right-to-information/

    The information?
    “Adoption is the answer, not abortion
    Abortion as the preferred, easy way to rid yourself of a problem is a lie. This choice is strife with guilt, emotional pain not to mention the death of a precious life. This choice results in consequences that no one wants to talk about. We will. And we will share information about the best choice when self-parenting isn’t possible.

    Let’s look at this as a case of “supply and demand.”…….”

    No worries, there is more to read in this article about the sale of children and hopes for a larger supply, oops sorry, meant to say, about the services of providing the gift of a child.

    I see a ladder being built.
    We pay carriers (aka mothers) to carry and deliver a child to intended parent/s. It can be the carrier’s genetic child, her egg.
    I’ve heard many saying it’s not fair that someone who is pregnant without the use of IVF, who decides against abortion, specifically to make an adoption plan, isn’t getting paid for the exact same service provided to gift a child.
    All they are missing is the legal form today. But there are other forms they can use with a lie of how the mother became pregnant, to allow all involved in providing the gift to get paid. Except the father of course, unless he was a paid donor.

    🤢

    Liked by 1 person

     
  5. beth62

    June 14, 2022 at 1:24 pm

    “A closed adoption may create more privacy in your life. The adoptive family and child will agree not to reach out to the prospective birth mother unless she allows it (and vice versa).” (bolding mine)

    Who edits these articles? Whoever it is seems to be lacking basic common sense to even think that a newly born infant would have the cognitive ability to understand words, let alone be able to understand and could agree to never reach out to their mother by birth. Nor does an Adoptive Parent or Adoption Agency have the ability to dictate that the child as an adult forever deny themselves the right to know where they come from. That reeks of viewing the child as chattel.””

    It sure does. Stinks to high heavens and it smells worse than anything I know of.
    🐷🦶💩🦨🐮🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨💀🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🎁

    Like

     
    • TAO

      June 14, 2022 at 1:56 pm

      So you had the same gut reaction I did?

      Like

       
      • beth62

        June 14, 2022 at 6:03 pm

        Oh yes, and it bares repeating.

        Like

         
      • beth62

        June 23, 2022 at 2:15 pm

        argh.
        In all sorts of family relationship discussions over the last few days I’ve found myself saying, “it’s a child, not chattel”
        The most upseting part is that every time I’ve said that, I’ve been correct.
        It’s too easy to find that kind of thinking. I didn’t say it everytime I wanted to, and have become very sad at all the opportunities I’ve been given to say it lately. 😦
        Very discouraging to hear so many who were not offended and were happy to argue that maybe they were chattel and how that can be a good thing. You know, because of how lucky they are, and how grateful they should be.
        I think it’s about time for me to go for a bit of a walk, far away from people! 🙂

        Like

         
  6. TAO

    June 23, 2022 at 6:16 pm

    Grrrrh – that Grateful word drives me nuts, drove me nuts in a FB conversation yesterday…

    Like

     

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