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Fathers must have rights…

06 May

Supreme Court hears case of birth father seeking custody of boy adopted 3 years ago

“GRAND RAPIDS, MI – The attorney for a couple whose adopted 3-year-old son is at the center of a legal fight told state Supreme Court justices that the family is the only one he knows.

Attorney Liisa Speaker said that the boy, who is nearly 4, must stay with his adoptive parents. They have the same rights as any biological parents, she said.

“They are his family,” she said.

The court is reviewing an appeals court finding that birth father Peter Kruithoff’s parental rights were wrongly terminated – potentially giving him a chance at obtaining custody.”

You can read more at the link above. Father’s matter, in the title of the article they call him a Birth Father, he’s not, he’s the child’s father, he was also married to the child’s mother. How have we not got to the place where adoption at least tries to be a wee bit ethical? How is a generic non-descript newspaper notice Catholic Charities put in acceptable, it isn’t, they knew his name, especially when he had already claimed the baby and sought custody: “Kruithoff, however, had sought custody in Ottawa County Circuit Court as part of a divorce proceeding that he filed a day before the child’s birth. The judge there ordered DNA testing for “Baby Boy Doe” and prohibited the child’s permanent placement or adoption.”

Safe Haven is an terrible addition to adoption, it’s ripe for this scenario to happen over and over.

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21 Comments

Posted by on May 6, 2022 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child

 

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21 responses to “Fathers must have rights…

  1. BOOKS: Sexual Assault, Loss

    May 6, 2022 at 6:38 pm

    “How is a generic non-descript newspaper notice Catholic Charities put in acceptable, it isn’t, they knew his name, especially when he had already claimed the baby and sought custody:”

    That is so ridiculous. Catholic Charities is still up to its old tricks, shady practices. Seems that according to CC, only the adopters have rights.

    This is a little off subject (maybe!). It disturbs me greatly that a rapist who impregnated has the same rights to his DNA child as any good family man. I was shocked when I looked this up and found he has the same legal rights. So, if the mother keeps the child, she must share custody with her rapist. Ugh! Comments anyone!

    Like

     
    • BOOKS: Sexual Assault, Loss

      May 6, 2022 at 9:44 pm

      Just want to clarify! Peter Kruithoff may be a very good person. I should have commented in a separate reply about rapists who impregnate. However, we can see there are some very strange or questionable laws.

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  2. Franceen George

    May 6, 2022 at 8:32 pm

    Wow, this case is really hard to fathom and even harder for the legal system to deal with. All I can think of, and my opinion of the only aspect that should be considered, is what is the best thing for the child – Irregardless of parental rights on either side. I was adopted at birth and the adoption was illegal, black market, and questionable processes were used. HOWEVER, it placed me in a very good home with wonderful parents who loved me dearly and I quickly became attached to them (nothwithstanding the fact that I DID suffer from the separation – but I now know I would have been worse off with my bio mother). Had they ripped me away from my adoptive parents at age three or four it would have been totally devastating – and caused major psychological consequences. I’m brought to tears now imagining that happening. Therefore I believe that in this case, the age of the child and the length of time they have been with the adoptive parents is what counts. Assuming that they were decent parents, and taking good care of the child (i.e. not living in squalor or being abusive, etc), the child has only really known them and should stay with them. If the plaintiff father really is the bio father, I have no idea what could or should be done about the violation of his parental rights. I’m leaning towards thinking that Catholic Charities is culpable and was in the wrong for not taking due diligence and possibly the laws of the state in this regard need modifying. Wow, difficult one.

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    • Jean Hardy

      May 6, 2022 at 8:52 pm

      Catholic Charities made a boo boo. If this is proven and the kid goes to the biodad, there should be some kind of transitional, supported time for that poor kid. Catholic Charities should pay for psychological counseling and post adoption support for everyone involved.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • Heather

        May 6, 2022 at 10:58 pm

        Calling it a “boo boo” minimizes what Catholic Charities has done. This was deliberate and they thought they could get away with it.

        How many other fathers have they done this too? Ones not strong enough or knowledgeable to fight back?

        Liked by 1 person

         
    • Heather

      May 6, 2022 at 10:53 pm

      This makes me so angry.

      If the adoption agency gets away with this its legalized kidnapping.

      This reminds me of Terry Achene’s fight to get his daughter back. He eventually won the case and is now raising his daughter but boy was he put through hell to get there.

      If the reason for keeping the child with the adopted family is that he’s been with them the longest wouldn’t that also mean than a kidnapper has more rights as long as they’ve kept the child for longer than the parents had the child? After all, it could also be said it’s the only home he ever knew.

      I don’t even know if any of this makes sense. I’m just livid that people are still doing this to babies.

      Liked by 3 people

       
      • Heather

        May 6, 2022 at 10:53 pm

        Sorry I misspelled his name. It’s Terry Achane.

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  3. Franceen George

    May 6, 2022 at 8:33 pm

    UNRELATED QUESTION: What time zone is this blog in? I am in PDT and it’s 1:33 PM. The post shows 8:32 PM. Is this in Europe?

    Like

     
    • TAO

      May 20, 2022 at 3:27 pm

      No, I just haven’t bothered to change any of the stuff in the back-end of the blog because I’m dumb when it comes to computers so I leave stuff alone. Pacific North West.

      Like

       
      • Franceen George

        May 20, 2022 at 8:12 pm

        AHA! Thanks, fellow PST/PDT!

        Like

         
  4. Dannie

    May 7, 2022 at 12:42 am

    So many unknowns about this case and many like them for me to personally give an opinion on who is better suited to parent. I will say, if family law court was more trusted, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. But even if the mother had good reason to surrender the baby (I.e. abuse etc obviously she’s getting a divorce because of something and not out of thin air), then it just made way for things to get caught up in an unethical tangled mess.

    But I think desperation comes because family law in it of itself is highly flawed. I believe some mothers flee and use adoption as a means for both to escape and some mothers are the opposite and evil.

    Overall, the law must do better in every aspect.

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    • Heather

      May 7, 2022 at 3:00 am

      I am curious, is “who’s better suited to parent” really the issue here though? This child should not have been made available for adoption.

      Parents get divorced all the time. They work out how to co-parent any children from the marriage. It’s not always perfect but it is never okay for one parent to make the decision to remove a child from their entire family.

      How was this ever allowed? It’s wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

       
  5. Heather

    May 7, 2022 at 3:02 am

    “Kruithoff, however, had sought custody in Ottawa County Circuit Court as part of a divorce proceeding that he filed a day before the child’s birth. The judge there ordered DNA testing for “Baby Boy Doe” and prohibited the child’s permanent placement or adoption.”

    I am livid. The child should have been returned immediately.

    This excuse that “they’re the only family he’s ever known” was created by the adoptive parents dragging this out in court.

    Liked by 2 people

     
    • Dannie

      May 7, 2022 at 3:18 am

      Definitely was unethical after the fact. Better suited in this case isn’t really about adoption vs biology in my comment, more about trying to figure out the why this happened the way it did. Either the father was abusive, or the mother was borderline or had her own mental health issues. If the father was abusive then that means the mother felt powerless and didn’t trust family court for some reason and then the rest is also bad ethics going down the adoption pipeline. If the mother had mental health issues and was being spiteful then it’s still unethical issues all the way down the pipeline. Something is definitely skewed. I just think it starts with family law in general

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    • BOOKS: Sexual Assault, Loss

      May 7, 2022 at 6:38 am

      “This excuse that “they’re the only family he’s ever known” was created by the adoptive parents dragging this out in court.”
      Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for pointing this out.

      Liked by 1 person

       
  6. Franceen George

    May 7, 2022 at 4:29 am

    Yes, there are a lot of different considerations and ways to look at this horrible situation. I believe there is a lot that we don’t know about the situation to make informed opinions….like was mentioned by another commenter, we don’t know the psychological, physical, financial, or familial status of either biological parent, nor of the adoptive parents. INHO Catholic Charities did not do a competent job, and the government didn’t either. I pity all involved (4 parents and the child) for the harm done is not easy, probably impossible, to reverse, reconcile, “make right”. It should be a big lesson for the future.

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  7. beth62

    May 8, 2022 at 2:29 am

    People suck.

    Like

     
  8. Cindy

    May 8, 2022 at 11:50 pm

    “They’re the only family he’s ever known” is a phrase I find laughable in a sad sort of way.

    The truth of the matter is: every infant placed for adoption is being separated (for a certainty) from, —The only mother they’ve ever know—. I don’t know too many people that ever point that out. But then, we are not ‘true’ mothers. Ya know, the ‘birth mother’ thingy. It’s ok. My son and I know what is.

    It all has me weary. Thanks to everybody for being here. I drop in from time to time and I always feel cheered. Tao, I love your flower pictures. You have a gift for capturing the joy of the flower. If that makes any sense.

    Liked by 2 people

     
    • TAO

      May 9, 2022 at 2:57 pm

      Thank you Cindy – my flowers keep me grounded.

      Like

       
  9. Robyn C

    May 20, 2022 at 3:36 am

    When we were adopting, Catholic Charities in Michigan, specifically, was one of the agencies with the most horror stories one could find on the Internet.

    Liked by 1 person

     

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