Didn’t sleep well last night.

02 Dec

Woke up in a mood you could politely say was cranky, that mood was because yesterday was a terrible day for women in the USA, a day foretelling the very real possibility of Roe v. Wade being struck down. And yes, I understand that the states could enact their own laws re abortion, but even if some states do, other states won’t and it will leave many without recourse, let alone a real choice, and yes, many women will have no choice but adoption.

An adoption that is not by choice is by default a forced adoption.

And let’s make it perfectly clear that even if a woman intended to abort the fetus, and instead, carried to term, gave birth to their child and then surrendered their parental rights to adoptive parents, they’ll be deeply affected, they’ll grieve the loss of their baby, and will never be the same again.

And I shudder at the mere thought of adoptees growing up in a post Roe v. Wade era and whatever new iterations of You Must Be Grateful You Weren’t Aborted will be like for them.

And you know there will be targeting done by adoption entities, people wanting to adopt, recent history proves this -> In a mood…

Article below was written in 2008 by retired gynecologist Waldo L. Fielding, M.D. in his mid-80’s, published in the New York Times

Please read the entire article, if you can’t, below are the last three paragraphs.

“The worst case I saw, and one I hope no one else will ever have to face, was that of a nurse who was admitted with what looked like a partly delivered umbilical cord. Yet as soon as we examined her, we realized that what we thought was the cord was in fact part of her intestine, which had been hooked and torn by whatever implement had been used in the abortion. It took six hours of surgery to remove the infected uterus and ovaries and repair the part of the bowel that was still functional.

It is important to remember that Roe v. Wade did not mean that abortions could be performed. They have always been done, dating from ancient Greek days.

What Roe said was that ending a pregnancy could be carried out by medical personnel, in a medically accepted setting, thus conferring on women, finally, the full rights of first-class citizens and freeing their doctors to treat them as such.”


I think Dad must have seen similar during his practice, he never came out and said so, but he supported Roe v. Wade and a woman’s right to choose, no matter how conflicted he likely was over abortion as a deeply religious man.

Please keep any comment civil, I will close comments if they get out of hand.


Posted by on December 2, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


Tags: , , , ,

5 responses to “Didn’t sleep well last night.

  1. BOOKS: Sexual Assault, Loss

    December 2, 2021 at 7:48 pm

    I’m glad you posted about this, Tao, since I’ve wondered how adopted people feel about the issue. Last evening, I was reading that fewer and fewer young people want to have children. The birth rate keeps getting lower. Besides what some people feel is a moral issue, there are many who wish to stop legal abortion because of other concerns. For example, too many old people in society, not enough young people. Some may resent the independence gained by women, when they are not forced to bring a child into the world. Jobs previously held only by men are now being filled by women, as well.

    In spite of the above, most people will cite their moral or religious reasons, as that will appear to be the higher ground. Medical science has changed things as well. Not only are older people being kept alive through medical interventions. the same is true for the pre-born. There are medical interventions being done in utero. At one time, the survival rate was poor for many babies born too prematurely. After reading an article last evening about an unbelievably tiny infant being saved by medical expertise, I had to wonder: What is in the future, a 4 oz baby being kept alive and praised as a miracle performed by doctors? Survival rates impact the thinking of those who are anti-abortion.

    When abortion becomes illegal, woman become “throwaways.” No need to care about her! And what about the babies? They will become prizes, born to fulfill the desires of childless couples — and right now, the demand greatly exceeds the supply! These couples will achieve sainthood for “saving” the “unwanted” children. Since when has a baby asked to be born?

    If abortion is not an option, what is the impact on adopted women who become pregnant against their wishes? What if she is an isolated individual, struggling to survive on her own? What if her only option is giving her child to an adoption agency? How will this affect her mental health? What will it feel like to be “a throwaway”? Or, the other possibility, she gets an illegal (botched) abortion and eventually discovers she is infertile, thus joining the ranks of potential adopters.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. c b

    December 4, 2021 at 12:23 am

    “What Roe said was that ending a pregnancy could be carried out by medical personnel, in a medically accepted setting, thus conferring on women, finally, the full rights of first-class citizens and freeing their doctors to treat them as such.”

    That’s a good point that people always seem to forget, they act as if abortion never happened before Roe vs Wade whereas wealthier women were always able to get safe abortions and it was the poorer woman (who was usually damned for whatever choice she made) that suffered.

    Also, abortion rates in countries where adoption is legal are far lower than in countries where it is illegal. Also countries where there is more support from women in general as human beings, i.e. better access to education in general, better access to health care (including contraception), better opportunties are more likely to have lower rates of abortion as well.

    I know from reading some historical documents about WW2 in NZ that the number of illegal abortions performed in the 1930s was similar pro rata to the number formed today (population of NZ has quadrupled since that time). I also came across an article that suggested that about 100,000 illegal abortions (with multiple deaths) were performed in Canada in the 60s, with a similar amount being performed legally today (Canadian population has double in that time).

    Now I personally am not sure I could have ever had an abortion** (I was a late bloomer as a result) but making abortion illegal again is not the solution. I am also not against those in the pro-life movement who do their best to reduce abortion by improving the situation for women in general (as per my third paragraph). I think many of us would like abortion to be rarer but it needs to become rarer
    through improved situations for women, not just banning it and also not improving situations for women.

    **People also often seem to forget that for many women who ending up choosing adoption in general, it is because abortion didn’t seriously cross their minds and thus their choice was limited to parenting/adoption. Also, the more *successful” adoption proponents know that they have to pit adoptio against parenting rather than abortion. I also feel that that constant call of “adoption not abortion” gives the impression that all emoms are just sitting there going “I want to be rid of this little bastard, which route should I take”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TAO

      December 4, 2021 at 2:49 pm

      All you said I agree with.


    • TAO

      December 8, 2021 at 12:01 am

      I just read it today, what a mess of an article and that denosia guy (not bothering to find the right spelling. The whole thing stinks.

      Liked by 1 person


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