Monthly Archives: December 2021

Dear Columnist

From 2017

I read your article posted a few days ago: 3 Reasons To NOT Find Your Birth Parents with the tag line “It’s your life; it’s your choice.” and just wanted to lay out some statements of facts before getting into a nuanced rebuttal.

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Posted by on December 30, 2021 in Uncategorized


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Christmas Holiday Time 2021

I was looking back at the different Holiday posts over the years and reading the comments from all my friends here on the blog. I want to thank everyone who stops by for a spell, you’ve made my life so much better than you will ever know, and I’m thankful for those folks who have recently stopped by as well that I’m just getting to know. And those who haven’t commented, please do, join in and get to know everyone.

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Posted by on December 24, 2021 in Adoption, Uncategorized


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Can we stop being so shallow in the adoption community?

Originally posted 2018

I’ve tried every which way to help people, specifically adoptive parents in the adoption community to move on from labelling an adoptee as having either a positive or negative adoption experience. I’ve failed in all previous attempts and I don’t like admitting defeat, so here’s one more try…

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Posted by on December 16, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents


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It’s been a trying couple of days in adoptionland on twitter and now someone else is trying to stir the pot. Oh Yay! I’m ignoring the sheer nonsense of the kept assuming they know more than the ones adopted on whether adoption is good.

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Posted by on December 9, 2021 in Uncategorized


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Twitter thread upset me yesterday.

As soon as an adoptee dares to disagree with the savior narrative woven into adoption, and specifically transracial adoption, the adoptees assumed lack of gratefulness becomes a target used, because, you know, we weren’t wanted and were saved and all. And sooner rather than later the old trope would you rather have been aborted bubbles up to the surface as well.

Every. Single. Time.

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Posted by on December 8, 2021 in Uncategorized


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Dear pro-life would be adopter…

Originally posted 21 Sept 2015

Readers know I don’t use the term ‘adopter’ lightly, and it applies only to a few out there. I read a very disturbing post today by someone with infertility, who is pro-life and also wants to adopt. I was ready to rebut her post, it felt good writing thoughts down, but it wouldn’t have done any good. Instead, I decided to write this post, perhaps she’ll read it, or someone just like her. Perhaps it will trigger reflection, perhaps not, but I’ve tried in the kindest way I know…

She’s not ready to adopt…

It takes a lot of empathy, being able, and willing, to see all the different sides in adoption. To see the trauma the other sides go through, so you get what you want most, a baby. Some people never get there, and that’s okay, provided they don’t adopt.

To me, to be ready to be adoptive parents, it takes…

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Posted by on December 6, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child, Ethics


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Didn’t sleep well last night.

Woke up in a mood you could politely say was cranky, that mood was because yesterday was a terrible day for women in the USA, a day foretelling the very real possibility of Roe v. Wade being struck down. And yes, I understand that the states could enact their own laws re abortion, but even if some states do, other states won’t and it will leave many without recourse, let alone a real choice, and yes, many women will have no choice but adoption.

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Posted by on December 2, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, Ethics


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