Monthly Archives: October 2021

Two Blog Posts from 2011

One from Shannon (an AP), and my post after reading Shannon’s post (and the comments on those posts as well). As always, I am so thankful for the conversations that have evolved from posts here, you make me think, you also make my life better.

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Posted by on October 30, 2021 in Uncategorized


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From the NYT Ethicist column

“The Son My Sister Placed for Adoption Wants to Find Her. What Should I Do?”

My youngest sister had a baby when she was an unmarried teenager. This was some decades ago, when abortion laws and misguided morality made things difficult for someone who was pregnant and unmarried. She told me she was pregnant, and though I encouraged her to tell our parents, she decided to conceal her condition by wearing larger-size clothes. When she gave birth at the hospital to a healthy boy, our mother talked her into having the baby adopted. My sister signed the adoption papers with the proviso that her identity as the mother not be revealed to the child. A few years later, she married. She and her husband have a daughter, but while her husband knows about the adopted son, I don’t believe their daughter does.

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Posted by on October 26, 2021 in Uncategorized


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Links to posts on late discovery…

From 2015

Not that I can ever imagine what a Late Discovery Adoptee (LDA) goes through, I’m sure it would break my heart and take a long time to come to any level of peace.  I’m also sure there are many future LDA’s that will find out when their parents pass away and they deal with the estate paperwork, or decide one day to innocently take a DNA test that has become such a popular tool. Why did any parent think it was proper to lie to their child, especially, when others around them know the truth. Today there are parents of adopted children who don’t want to, or intend to tell, still. To me it’s selfishness of the worst kind, setting your child up for a heart-breaking discovery down the road, all to make you feel ‘real’ and keep your secrets. I have a hard time understanding anyone who willingly chooses not to tell – how can you parent your child with such a huge lie between you?

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Posted by on October 20, 2021 in Uncategorized


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It’s Raining Cats and Dogs

And I’d rather have the rain than heat where you can fry an egg on the sidewalk.

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Posted by on October 16, 2021 in Uncategorized


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Simple primer for reading this blog…

Written in 2017

The other day an Adoptive Parent left a comment on a post detailing that I had enormous problems bonding with my adoptive parents and how I demonize adoption as the source of all my pain and woes. Say what? Funny thing happened though, it didn’t upset me like it would have in the past, whether that’s because it’s become old hat, or because I’ve come to the conclusion that most folks can’t separate “adoption” from “being adopted” from “family” from “feelings” and get upset that I don’t use “disclaimers”, which I believe may have been part of the reason the comment was left.

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Posted by on October 4, 2021 in Uncategorized


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