Nip it in the bud if someone says it.

03 Jul

It isn’t okay to say “family has come out of the woodwork” when you are hoping to adopt the child you’ve been fostering.

It just isn’t.

Feel bad, but process your feelings without being an ass.

Also, it’s never okay anytime to say “family has come out of the woodwork”, to me it’s offensive; and the likely reasons in Foster Care is that either the parent refused to provide names at the beginning due to shame, but has reached out now, or the Foster Care worker never bothered to follow up with names given at the start.

In case you are wondering, in domestic infant adoption adoption it still isn’t okay to say “family has come out of the woodwork”. It’s never a bad thing to want to keep families together and whole, and in your heart, you know that if you were in the same situation, you’d want your family to have your back.


Posted by on July 3, 2021 in Adoption, adoptive parents, biological child


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

6 responses to “Nip it in the bud if someone says it.

  1. andestanley

    July 3, 2021 at 8:41 pm

    This is so true. We have experienced this in our family, when Child Protective Services was not notified that we would like our grandchildren placed in our care. When I became aware of the issues and tracked the social worker down, she had no idea we existed. The lady who was appointed guardian had no idea we were ready and willing to care for the children.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TAO

      July 3, 2021 at 11:01 pm

      Sadly, your story is not an anomaly, I’m sorry that happened to you and yours.


  2. Lara/Trace

    July 3, 2021 at 9:46 pm

    Forgive me I don’t recall the year I saw this but California decided to check foster kids records for relatives who could care for them. I thought they are doing this in the past few years. Apparently social workers didn’t contact any relatives to see if they could care for their own family member.
    (Palm to forehead) WHAT the HELL!


    • TAO

      July 3, 2021 at 11:03 pm

      Vaguely remember something about that – will see what I can find.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. beth62

    July 4, 2021 at 2:01 pm

    Thanks TAO, members of a family are not bugs in the wood or worms in a can.
    A vulture might see bugs and worms though. Or an ass, of course 🙂


    • TAO

      July 4, 2021 at 2:54 pm

      Exactly what goes through my mind when I hear that phrase. Thanks Beth



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