So, I unfriended my adoptive cousin, the one who has been ghosting me on facebook and beyond for awhile. It felt good, like a strong wind swept cross my soul and made everything better, lighter. That’s a lesson that I need to keep in mind for the future; that any relationship can become toxic and harmful and with my people-pleaser personality I need to see it when it starts, I need to toughen up, not just put up with it.
Do you think a people-pleaser personality is an inate personality trait, or is it a learned behavior? Or is it both/and? I’m leaning to both/and in that the trait is heritable and lived experiences either enhance or limit the effects. I do think whatever causes it, being adopted can amplify it to our detriment. Detrimental in many different ways due to all the “positive” messaging on adoption, compounded by not being kept so that always lurks in the shadow, it happened once, it can happen again.
What’s new with you? What have you learned about yourself during this pandemic we’ve all had to navigate through? Has it made you more aware, changed you in distinct ways, and do you think for the better or worse?